The View, page 19
He swiped his hand down his face. “I’m married, and I have no wife to celebrate our anniversary tomorrow,” he said aloud.
Just then, his cell phone rang. He picked it up off the nightstand and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, son.”
“Dad, how are you?”
His father let out a sigh. “I could ask you the same. I wanted to check on you and make sure you were doing all right.”
Michael paused, and his heart filled with love. He knew his dad was calling only because of tomorrow, even if he didn’t want to outright say it. It didn’t matter, because right now, Michael needed that. “Thanks, Dad. I know why you’re calling, and being honest, it’s rough, considering what tomorrow is.”
His dad took a deliberate breath. “This may not be the most opportune time, son, but I have to ask, have you all even talked since you found out? I mean, to try to sort this thing out or figure out what went wrong?”
Leaning his head back against the headboard, Michael huffed. “No, Dad. We see each other at the doctor’s appointments, but when it’s over, I have to leave, because he is there. Outside of that, I call to check in about the pregnancy and nothing more.”
“Don’t you think you need to talk about things?”
“Of course I do,” Michael said roughly and then breathed out. “I just don’t know how anymore. Hell, I don’t even know if I want to know. I don’t know if I’m ready to know.”
After a long pause his dad said, “And that’s the reason you’re in this mess.” When he heard Michael getting ready to protest, he cut him off. “No, son, you need to listen to me for a change. I haven’t been married this long for nothing, and if you had bothered to take my advice before, you and Karli might not have ended up in this predicament.”
Michael sat there stunned for a moment. His dad had always shot straight from the hip, but man to man, he had never expected him to go in on him about this situation. He had his faults, but Karli had cheated. She wanted the marriage dissolved. How could he have prevented her actions? However, he wasn’t bold enough to test his dad, no matter how old he’d gotten. So he decided to shut up and listen for change. At the end of the day, what the hell did he have to lose? He was already at ground zero.
“I’m listening,” he said truthfully.
“Michael, you’re bullheaded. You want what you want, and that’s it. The advantage to that is that it works in business. It’s the reason you’re the successful attorney that you are. You’re a beast. You pull no punches and take no prisoners. You’re powerful, in control, and dominant. A man. But, son, the disadvantage to us men is that we don’t know how to change the tune. When you’re dealing with your personal life, especially your wife, you have to learn how to drive the car and let her control the radio. Be the man that listens. Be the man that adjusts his attitude. Be the man who opens up and considers what your wife needs out of the relationship. Don’t just focus on what you want her to bring and who you want her to be.
“That other man—he was able to step in because you checked out. The moment Karli damaged her view of herself in your eyes, you tried desperately to fit her back into your mold without understanding why the mold was broken in the first place. Neither time nor forgetfulness changes circumstances. Communication does. Listening does. Understanding does. Call your wife and have an honest talk with her, Michael, because until those papers are signed on the dotted line, she’s still Mrs. Sanders.”
A realization hit Michael like never before. “Let me call you back, Dad. I need to call Karli.”
“Now, that’s the son I raised.”
* * *
“Michael?” Karli said sleepily when she answered the phone. “Is something wrong?” she asked, looking at the time. It was after ten o’clock. He never called her after eight.
“I’m sorry to wake you. I really need to talk to you.”
Karli sat up straight in the bed. “Has something happened?”
Michael smiled at the fact that she thought enough to ask, and even more at the knowledge that she genuinely did care. “No, nothing has happened.” He took a deep breath. “I was calling because I wanted to see if you would be open to the idea of meeting me tomorrow.”
Karli rubbed her forehead. “Open to the idea?”
Michael released a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry. Forgive me, Karli. It’s just that now that things are so . . . different. . . between us, I’m not sure how to talk to you anymore or what to say. I don’t want to overstep my boundaries, and I don’t want to offend you, either. It’s hard for me because I’m in limbo in terms of where we stand.”
Karli took a moment to take in what Michael was saying. It dawned on her that the changes within her had caused her to be a stranger to him. He didn’t know how to approach her, and it made for awkward moments between them.
“Are you asking me if I will meet you tomorrow for our anniversary?”
Michael smiled. She said our anniversary, he thought. “You remembered.”
Karli let out a small giggle. “How could I forget?”
Michael felt elated on the inside. It was ironic that although on this anniversary they weren’t together, this moment made him feel like it would be the happiest anniversary of their lives. For one, she actually seemed to be happy about the idea of their anniversary, instead of sad or, worse, upset that he’d reminded her; and two, regardless of what was said, it might be the last time they celebrated while married.
“Well, yes, I am asking if you will go with me tomorrow to celebrate. It may be our last anniversary together, and if it is, I want to end the marriage on a good note. I want us to be able to actually talk and listen to each other. Hear each other out. Before we close our book together, let’s at least end the chapter the way it should be ended. No blame game. No arguing. No hate. Simply talking and understanding. We can have lunch first and then come back to our house and talk. Will you agree to that?”
It felt like a huge boulder had been lifted off Karli’s shoulders. She had wanted to do the same thing for months but had struggled to ask. She’d embedded in her mind the notion that Michael hated her and was around only to stick close to the baby growing inside her. Hearing him affirm that he wanted to have a conversation without foolishness made her heart sing. For the first time in a long time, she was happy about the prospect of seeing Michael and spending this time with him. He was right. They both needed this, especially if divorce was imminent.
“Michael, I would love that.”
* * *
“Is everything all right?” Hudson asked. He had rushed into the penthouse and was now holding her close. “I rushed over when you said you needed to talk face-to-face.”
After pulling back, Hudson threw his keys on the coffee table, removed his suit jacket, and loosened his tie. A look of panic and worry graced his face as he stood with one hand on his hip, nervously staring at Karli.
“Hudson, you didn’t have to get excited. I have something important to tell you and simply didn’t want to discuss it over the telephone. I wanted us to have a sit-down, a heart-to-heart.”
Hudson rubbed the back of his neck and began pacing the floor. “Okay, see it’s when you talk like that, that I get nervous. You’re telling me not to get excited, but it was so important that you couldn’t tell me over the phone. Face-to-faces are cause to get excited and nervous. What’s going on, Karli?”
“Can you sit down with me, please?” She sat with one leg folded underneath her on the sofa and patted the seat right next to her as she gazed up at him. Reluctantly, he walked over and sat down, but he sat forward and was as stiff as a board. “Goodness. You can sit back and relax.”
“Karli, seriously, I don’t do surprise talks. I’m a planner. A thinker. A preparer. I don’t like delving into the unknown completely blind. Face-to-face talks are that—being blindsided.” When she looked downward, he placed his hand on her knee and rubbed it. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m not trying to be harsh with you, but I’d prefer that you just tell me what it is you want to tell me.”
Wringing her hands, she looked up at him, unsure about telling him what was on her mind, but then she decided to go through with it, anyway. “I’m not sure how to tell you this or how you will take it, so I’m just going to come out with it. I’m meeting Michael for lunch and to talk today.”
Taken aback, Hudson sat back, unable to speak for a moment. “Okay.” He took in her words. “Help me understand why.”
“We need it.” Karli stared Hudson in the eyes. “With all that has gone on, Michael was thrust into this situation unexpectedly. Between the anger and the pregnancy, we’ve never actually talked about things.”
“When you say things, what exactly does things mean?”
She slowly sat forward. “It means our marriage. The issues. The downfall. The divorce. The why. All he’s knows is that I was unhappy, and then he found out that I was having an affair with his old college roommate and a good friend, and that I was pregnant with a baby he doesn’t even know is his. I owe him the talk. He deserves that much.”
“But why now?” Hudson asked. “Why not wait until the baby is born, instead of stressing you out now? You know he’s going to dredge up old memories, get upset, and then upset you. And why the hell does lunch have to be involved? This shouldn’t be a date type of situation.”
Karli stood and began to pace. “Kind of how you’re stressing me now?”
“How am I stressing you?” Hudson asked, completely taken off guard. “By worrying about your well-being? You called me over here. If you are doing this, anyway, without giving a damn about my feelings, then why call me over?”
“Because I was worried about your feelings!” Karli spat.
Hudson’s jaw clenched, and he sat forward, his hands covering his mouth, as he tried to remain calm. Trying to ease the tension, Karli calmed down.
“I’m telling you because I’m not going to lie to you, Hudson. I’ve done that with Michael, and I don’t want to do that anymore. The talk is something Michael and I failed to do before things got out of hand. The lunch . . . well, that’s because it’s our wedding anniversary today.”
Hudson jumped up. “Are you shitting me right now? Are you telling me that he’s going to take you out to celebrate your wedding anniversary? And you agreed to that?”
Karli put her hand up. “It’s not what you think—”
“Like hell it isn’t!” he screamed. “Wedding anniversaries are celebrated to remember the love of your wedding day.”
“That’s not what this is about, Hudson.”
“Then what the hell else is it about?”
“It’s about celebrating five years that have passed because we won’t have a future together and figuring out why so we can both be complete enough to move on.”
“Really? Move on or move forward?”
Karli rolled her eyes and went to explain, but Hudson didn’t let her get a word out.
“Are you sure this isn’t about your and Michael’s future? Because last I checked, you two were still married. As long as you’re still his wife, there’s still a future for you two.”
“I would hope that you’re not suggesting that I’m trying to sneak off with Michael. You know you just said five minutes ago that you don’t like unexpected surprises. Well, guess what our affair was for Michael? A surprise! You, of all people, should understand. You’re focused on starting a battle, and you won the war.”
With a head nod, Hudson stood, slipped his suit jacket back on, and put his keys in his pocket. “Why would I have to worry about you sneaking off when you called me over here to tell me to my face you are going back?” Hudson turned to walk away. “And just so you know, I know exactly how Michael feels. I felt that way every time you complained to me about him, then left me to go back to him, just like you’re doing right now.”
As Hudson went to leave, Karli speed walked over to him with tears in her eyes. He had it all wrong. Sure, everything was tossed in the air and she hadn’t made a solid commitment to either man, but she didn’t want him to feel as though she was running. Far from it. She was determined to face this head-on and deal with the consequences. For now, she just wanted to deliver a healthy baby. Yet she understood that as a wife, she owed Michael this moment, even if Hudson couldn’t understand it.
“Hudson, wait, please.”
Her teary voice caused him to stop in his steps. He swallowed the lump in his throat, because it hurt him to his core to hear Karli upset. Love was a muthafucka. He hated it and loved it at the same time.
Karli eased up to him, then placed her hands on the back of his shoulders. “Hudson, I know how this may feel to you, but this is not some slick attempt to leave you hanging in the balance. I won’t be at peace until Michael and I make peace with everything that’s happened. With all I’ve done to him, as his wife, I owe it to him to give him that peace. If you were my husband, if the shoe were on the other foot, I’d owe it to you, and I’d give it to you. I’m begging you to please not read more into this and to trust the process.”
“That’s difficult when I don’t know where the process will end.”
She turned him to face her and held his hands. “Well then, let it begin with you trusting in me. Trust that I am done with the lies, the games, and the back-and-forth. If today were about me getting back with Michael, I would tell you that. That’s not what this is. I need you to trust that, even if you can’t trust Michael and may be a little bit afraid to trust the process.”
Closing his eyes, he tried to calm his restless spirit. As tormented as he was, he knew that Michael had to be triple that. How in the world could this one woman tear down two of the most powerful men in New York? One word. Love. Like he had thought before, love was a muthafucka. He wasn’t convinced that this lunch carried the same meaning for Michael as it did for Karli, but what could he say or do about it? As much as he hated to admit it, Karli was right, and the fact remained that she was still his wife.
After bringing her hands to his lips, he kissed them. “I can’t say that I like it or trust it, but I will be understanding. Besides, unless those papers are signed, you’re still Mrs. Sanders.”
They eyed each other sadly, and Hudson kissed her forehead before leaving, praying that this wouldn’t be the last of them. Karli might not have felt it, but even without talking to Michael directly, Hudson knew that he would use this chance to shoot his shot. How’d he know? Because he loved Karli just like Michael did, and it was exactly what he would do himself. Why not? It was the perfect opportunity. There was nothing like strolling down memory lane and reminiscing about something as eventful as a wedding day to bring a couple back together. It was the perfect time to have this so-called “talk,” which Michael could’ve had months ago.
But Karli had agreed to it, and she was Michael’s wife, so what could he do about it? Nothing. And that was what scared him the most. He’d fight to the end of the earth for Karli, but she had to be willing to fight with him. Perhaps she would, but he realized it had to be her decision. Whatever decision she made, he would respect.
Chapter 29
It was an awkward feeling for both Michael and Karli as he held her hand to help her as she sat down. Looking around, Karli felt out of place in the house she used to call home. She hadn’t been in her old house in months, and though everything was the same, she felt like a stranger.
Michael could sense Karli’s apprehension as she sat down on the sofa. It was hard to believe that they were celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary as a separated couple. The house didn’t feel like home to him anymore, either. He worked late nights and often traveled for business just so he could avoid this empty nest as long as he could. Without the love that he and Karli had once shared, living inside the house felt more like living in the confines of a prison.
He sat down across from her and soaked in the sight of his beautiful wife. Even at six months pregnant, she was gorgeous beyond belief, and she wore the radiance of pregnancy well. She was a breathtaking sight to behold.
The past few months had been strained, at best. Karli had kept her promise and had stayed at the penthouse, which Michael didn’t care for after learning that it was actually Hudson’s, but at least it wasn’t Hudson’s house. He’d learned to choose his battles. Both men had respected her wishes and had stayed at their respective homes and in their corners. Even the couple of times they’d ended up at her doctor’s appointments together, they’d remained cordial enough to speak or keep their mouths closed. However, there was still a lot in limbo. Since the pregnancy, Karli had ceased the divorce proceedings, and Michael didn’t know if it was solely because of the baby or because of her relationship with Hudson. He also didn’t know where she and Hudson stood. Yet he didn’t concern himself with it. Right now, he was just enjoying the rare opportunity he had received to be in her presence.
“How did you enjoy lunch?” Michael finally asked, breaking the silence of the moment.
Karli smiled at him and flipped her long locks out of her face—the pregnancy had her hair growing long and fast. “Our anniversary lunch was nice.” She yawned a little. “You have to forgive me. I get a little more tired these days.”
He laughed and went into the kitchen. He retrieved a bottle of water for her. She accepted it and drank a few sips to stay perky. “Thank you for the water and for lunch.”
“Thank you for agreeing to have lunch with me. I know that we’re not together, but it is our anniversary, and it just felt inappropriate not to share the day with you.” He sat down at the other end of the sofa.
