Royal Pain in the Ass, page 7
“Juliet, it’s Gwen. We’re almost home.”
“So, you’re the one everyone is making such a fuss over,” Harper smiled over his shoulder at me.
“Yeah, something like that . . .”
“Harper,” Gwen started.
“Yeah?”
“Can you carry her back?”
“Sure, to your house?”
Gwen thought for a long moment. “No, we have to sneak her inside.”
Harper nodded. “Harper the ninja is ready for service.”
Chapter XI
I felt myself being lifted out of the car. “Come along, love,” Harper smiled. I cuddled against his chest. He was so warm.
“You’re cuddly,” I murmured. I felt the pull of sleep. I liked the way his chest vibrated when he laughed.
“Don’t get too cozy,” Gwen warned, I’m not sure if it was to me or to Harper. “Harper, I’m going to show you the back way into the main house.”
“Harper,” I managed.
“Yes, love?”
“Sing for me.”
Harper laughed. “What do you want me to sing?”
“Something pretty.”
“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Tomorrow I’ll miss you, remember I’ll always be true.”
“I love The Beatles,”
Harper chuckled and continued singing. His voice was so pretty.
“Shh, quiet now. We can’t get caught.” Gwen warned.
Gwen led him to my room and Harper laid me on the bed. “Good night, sleep it off. You’ll feel better.”
“I’ll have Laurel bring you some aspirin in the morning. Harper, come on, I’ll be outside.” Gwen gave us a moment.
“Well, love, good night,”
“Good night,” I smiled up at him. “You have pretty eyes.”
“Thank you, I think you’ve mentioned that.”
“Well it’s true,”
“Good night,” he bent down to kiss me on the cheek but I turned and kissed him back. He seemed surprised but didn’t stop. His lips were so soft. My hands reached around to the back of his neck and pulled him harder against me. He made a small noise of surprise but returned my ferocity. My hands fumbled to the bottom of his shirt, but he grabbed them and pulled away laughing. “No, no, love.”
“No?” I asked confused. No? “You don’t think I’m cute anymore,”
“Oh, quite the contrary, love, but you are very drunk.”
“I’m just tipsy,”
“Good night, I have to go,”
“Stay?”
“I can’t, as tempting as that is,”
“One more kiss?”
Harper sighed, a smile forming on his lips. “One more kiss,” he kissed my forehead and tucked me in. “Now go to sleep. Tomorrow morning is going to come early for you.”
I nodded. “Night night,”
I felt sleep overtake me.
Next thing I knew Laurel was gently shaking me awake. “Juliet, you have to get up,” she soothed rubbing my back. My head was killing me and I felt nauseous. I looked around.
“Ugh, what time is it?”
“Almost seven, come on let’s get you into a nice warm bath. You’ll feel better.” She helped me sit up and the world span.
“Oh god, how much did I drink?”
“Gwen told me all about it. I’ve told Master Eastgate that you’re not feeling well. He thinks you have the flu.”
“Ugh, I don’t remember most of last night,”
“Gwen said you kept up with her, and she’s quite the drinker.”
I groaned and covered my head with a blanket. “Why is it so bright?” I whined.
“Because you’re hung over.”
“What did I drink last night?”
“Knowing Gwen something strong and hard, and it probably had a bite to it. Come on,” Laurel helped me stumble to the bathroom and into the tub. “I’m not leaving you alone in here, I’m not going to have you drown.” Laurel helped me out and then brushed my hair while I lay in bed feeling the effects of a night of poor decisions. “Gwen is going to come up and see you as soon as her shift is over, but your father wanted to check on you. I told him I’d let you know when you were awake. Are you ready for this?”
I let another groan out. “No, but I haven’t been ready for anything that’s happened so far. Let’s do this.”
“Alright, I’ll go get him.”
I buried my head in the pillows and tried to remember what had happened. I’d gone out with Gwen . . . Sam drove us . . . we watched a band . . . Gwen and I were dancing . . . lots of shots . . . lots of beer . . . I didn’t remember anything but little patches of memory. I needed to talk to Gwen.
It wasn’t long before I heard the door open and someone come in. “Juliet,” my father’s voice was soft and soothing.
“Hey James,” I managed and turned around. The sun was still so bright.
“Laurel tells me you aren’t feeling well.”
I shook my head, but stopped when the world span. “I’ll be okay, just not feeling so hot today.”
James came over and felt my forehead. “You don’t seem to be running a fever. That’s good. Maybe it’s all the stress.” James sighed and sat on the edge of my bed. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you anyway.”
Oh great, this was going to be one of those mornings. I sat up and tried to look him in the eye.
“I didn’t intend for everything that has happened to happen. Madame Hubert said despite her best efforts you don’t seem to be making much progress. As you know the King and Queen want to properly introduce you into our society.”
I didn’t bother to try to hide the confusion on my face. “What?”
James sighed. “I didn’t want to force this upon but now we have no choice. You have been unofficially announced via the tabloids and many things are in question now. My morals, my parentage, even my sister’s character. I cannot let my shortcomings affect her ruling. As much as it pains me to do this, I have to ask you to do this. Mind you, I ask out of politeness, it is not really a request.”
I was taken aback. “What are you saying exactly?”
“You cannot act as you have been permitted to do in the past. I have spoken with Carolynn and we have found you an advisor. You will be taught the proper ways to act and you will behave as a noble lady. You must not act rashly. Any other incidents like this will not be tolerated. Do I make myself clear?”
I stared at James for a long moment. “So I’m going to be trapped in other words. I’m not going to be allowed to be myself?”
James sighed. “I don’t want that,”
“But that’s exactly what you just told me. I’m rash, I’m outspoken, opinionated, childish, and foolish. And you pretty much told me I can’t do that. That I can’t be that.”
“Juliet, you are an adult. You should act like it.”
James got up and walked out of my room and left me staring at the door. I rubbed my aching head. This was too much. I curled into a ball and went back to sleep. I woke up to Gwen shaking me.
“Hello gorgeous, how’s it going?” she smiled.
“Awful,” I smiled back.
“Awful? You feel that bad?”
I still felt like crap, but not as bad. I shrugged. “I’ve felt better. What was I drinking last night?”
Gwen smiled. “The good stuff. I brought you a present.” Gwen pulled out a flask. “This is what Gran used to give Dad for his hangovers, then Ben, then me.”
“What is it?”
“Just drink it,”
I took a swig and made a face. Vomit tasted better. “Ugh, what the hell?”
“It tastes awful, but trust me, it works. I made it this morning before I had to be at work at six. Look at me. Do I look like I’m dead on my feet? Now go ahead, finish it.”
I made a face but did. She smiled and handed me a cookie. “I don’t want to eat anything.”
“Trust me,”
I took a nibble and didn’t feel nausea rise up. “Wow,”
“I told you,”
“I have a question for you.”
“What’s that?”
“What happened last night?”
Gwen laughed. “You don’t remember?”
“No,”
“Oh this is great.”
“What is great?”
“What do you remember?”
“Bits and pieces, something about a band . . . dancing with you . . . Gwen . . . what did I do?”
“Well Harper has been texting me.”
“Harper . . . Harper, why does that sound familiar?”
“Oh my god, this is great! He’s smitten and you can’t remember him! I can’t wait to tell him that!”
“Wait, what did I do?”
“You asked him to stay last night,”
“I didn’t,”
“I wouldn’t have let him, and you didn’t do anything but make out and get a little handsy.”
“Oh god,” My hand covered my face. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Why?”
“I shouldn’t have done that!”
“It’s okay. But Harper is really interested in you.”
“I’m so not going there.”
“Where?”
I sighed. I was about to have to tell a long story. “I’m not ready for anything like that.”
“Why? What happened?”
“This is a sad story, do you want to hear it?”
“If you’re okay telling it.”
I sighed. “Back home there was this guy. Chase Evans. He was great, handsome, smart, funny, really sweet. He was in my Communications One class freshman year and we started dating not long after start of term. Things were really great for a long time. He started getting a little distant in our junior year and we ended it just before graduation. As you know, I lost my mom. She was sick for a really long time. Well, while I was sitting by her bedside, he was at someone else’s if you catch my drift.”
“Oh,” Gwen grasped.
“Yeah, as soon as I found out, I left him. I had enough on my plate, I didn’t need to add his crap to it.”
Gwen nodded. “That wanker doesn’t deserve you.”
I laughed. “Nope, but I’m not ready for something else so soon. It just hasn’t been enough time yet,”
Gwen pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry honey. Are you feeling any better?”
Now that I thought about it, my head wasn’t aching so badly and the light seemed less harsh. “Now that you mention it, yes I do feel a bit better.”
Gwen smiled. “I knew it. Now get up and get ready. Your advisor is on his way here.”
“His?”
Chapter XII
Gwen handed me a pair of pinstripe dress slacks a crimson top and a black blazer. “This will make you and your dad happy.”
I dressed quickly and followed Gwen down to the parlor. She disappeared into one of the servant’s secret passageways.
“Ah, Juliet, are you feeling better?” James asked, looking concerned.
“Yeah, a few extra hours so sleep can do wonders.” I replied looking around. Millie was sneering at me as usual, Carolynn had a tired expression on her face, bags were under her eyes and there was another person. He had dark brown, almost black hair and deep chocolaty brown eyes. He looked a little older than me, but not by more than a few years. He also had a five o’clock shadow.
“Juliet, this is your advisor, Xavier Lewis. Xavier, this is my daughter, Juliet.”
“It’s a pleasure,” I offered my hand. He shook it and turned to my father.
“I know this will be an uphill battle for you as you are starting with a challenge from the start.” James started. “But I appreciate all that you can do.”
Xavier nodded. “I will do what I can.” Xavier turned to me. “Lana called and warned me a bit about you. She tells me you are more or less clueless. I hope to fix this. Lord Eastgate, with your permission I would like to show her how a lady behaves in public?”
“That sounds fine. Juliet, are you feeling up to it?”
“Sure,”
“Very well, behave yourself.”
Xavier offered a hand and I took it. He led me outside to where a car was waiting. He gave me a stern look once we were seated comfortably. “Honestly, I was expecting worse.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means Lana was damn near in hysterics when she called me. At least there is a lot that is right with you.”
“How am I supposed to take that?”
“I am here to repair an image, and prevent further disasters. To do that, I’m going to teach you how to prevent these sorts of events from happening again. Because I’m good, I’m bloody brilliant when I have to be, but even I’m no god. To fix what happened will require a certain finesse. This will begin by image. I have some friends in high places, fortunately for you. I’ve called in a few favors. Today we will be meeting with several other people and create an approved, more appropriate image for you.”
“Wait, what?”
“It doesn’t really have to be who you are, but it will have to be who you are in the public eye. Does that make sense?”
“That’s stupid,”
“That’s politics.” Xavier cut me off. The look he gave me made me not want to argue. “Politics are not about truth, but illusion and image. Your father is a politician and by extension you represent him. If he is unqualified to control a single unruly child how can he be qualified to make decisions for the good of the masses? Do you see what I’m saying?”
I sighed. It made sense.
“As you are not arguing with me, I imagine I’m getting through to you.”
“I can see what you’re saying, and I can even see the logic behind it and agree to it to some extent. But I can’t agree to all of it.”
“Then I hope you are partial to you room.”
“What?”
“They won’t let you out if they don’t trust you to behave yourself.”
“So what? I’m locked in a room the rest of your life? You know, I am an American, I can always go back.”
“No, you see, with you it’s a special case. You will always be a public figure from here on out because of who you are. Don’t forget your uncle is the king. If the king orders you not to leave, no self-respecting Englishman will rush to help you.”
I hadn’t thought of that. “I don’t promise to all of this, but I guess I can try.”
“Good, we’re making progress. We’re meeting with a stylist first.”
Three hours later Xavier and I were at a small dress shop.
“What is that?” Xavier growled at my shoulder.
“A tattoo.” I shot back.
“What in the world would possess you to get that?”
“I have three.”
Xavier pinched the bridge of his nose and took a calming breath. “You are wearing on the last of my patience. Where are your other two?”
I showed him my ankle. It was a music tattoo collage that combined a treble clef, bass clef, and varying notes. “And there’s one on my hip.”
“Why would you do that to yourself?”
“The one on my shoulder is for my mom, and the other two were because I got bored.”
“Because you . . .” Xavier glared at me and took several deep breaths. “Because you got bored?” Xavier hissed.
“Yup,”
“You’re insufferable. You are aware of this right?”
“Been called worse,”
“Lana was right.”
“What does that mean?”
“This may even be out of my hands. Understand how infuriating your being at the moment. I have never wanted to strike someone so badly in my life.”
“And to think, I’ve only known you for a few hours.”
“This isn’t a game Juliet!” Xavier shouted.
I took a step back. Xavier was tall, I hadn’t realized quite how big he was until he shouted. He was at least six feet tall and I was just over five. He had the potential to be frightening but I got the feeling this side of him was rare. I just happened to be the right pain in the ass to bring out the worst in everyone around me.
“Do you have any concept of how your actions affect all of those around you?”
“Not really.”
“You are a selfish child. You have no idea how to act as an adult, do you?” Xavier grumbled something incoherent under his breath. “Very well, if you are going to act like a child, you will be treated as a child. You don’t get to make any decisions until you prove you can make grown up decisions.”
“Excuse me? What did you just say?”
“Giovanni!” Xavier called and left the dressing room. “You get to pick her outfits for her. I want that bloody shoulder covered at all times other than that you can have free reign.”
Two hours later I was pouting. Xavier had spent the past several hours making all decisions for me. It was aggravating. Whenever I said something he acted as though I hadn’t and no one else was paying me any mind.
“Juliet,” Xavier turned to me. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes,” I grumbled, not looking at him.
“Would you like to get some dinner?”
“Yes,”
“Very well, then change into one of your new dresses. I liked the blue one, personally.”
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
“I’m taking you somewhere nice.”
“So what I’m wearing isn’t nice?” I snapped.
“Now you are finally catching on. Now, come now, hurry up.”
I changed into the blue dress he liked and he handed me a pair of black boots that managed to cover all of my tattoos.
“You’re starting to look like a lady. I have reservations.”
Xavier took me to a fancy five star restaurant. We were seated and I stared at the menu no sure what half of the items were as most of them were in Italian.
Someone I recognized came up to our table. “Good evening, what can I get for you tonight, Mr. Lewis and . . . Juliet?”
I looked up where did I know him from?
“Lady Eastgate,” Xavier corrected. “I’ll have a merlot this evening for starters go ahead and be quick about it.”
“That’s rude,” I snapped.
“Excuse me?”
“Don’t talk to him that way. You’ve been bitching all day about manners this and etiquette that but what about please and thank you?” I snapped.
