Royal Pain in the Ass, page 1
This is dedicated with all my love to my mother
My First and Greatest Fan
Chapter I
I’ve worked since the month after I turned sixteen. I’ve been working my way through college, and I graduate next month. My only regret is that Mom won’t be there to see it.
She died last spring. Mom was all the family I had. Her parents disowned her when she came back from her study abroad program and realized she was pregnant. I’ve never met my father. Hell, I don’t even know his name. Thanks to Mom’s life insurance policy I now own the home I grew up in. I also work. I’m a manager in a fast food chain. It’s not a great job, the customers usually suck, but most of my crew are pretty decent. Some of them are pretty awesome. Don’t get me wrong, I work with idiots, but they’re fun idiots.
Technically, I should have graduated in the spring, but after Mom died, I asked for if I could take an incomplete. Given the circumstances, I was allowed to take the rest of the semester off to handle my mother’s final expenses and final needs. I finished my exams over the Summer Term. Luckily for me, all of my professors were really understanding. Now that I’ve finished my exams and officially passed my last college classes, I’ve signed up for graduation, but I don’t know if I want to walk.
I don’t really know what I want to do anymore. I’ve debated getting my MFA, a masters degree in fine arts. I double majored in music performance and literature, so maybe continuing in literature. I really was lacking in motivation.
I’d finally met my grandparents. They came to Mom’s funeral. They tried to all of a sudden be there for me. You spend over twenty years ignoring me and your daughter because she had the nerve to fall in love and make a baby. Seriously?
You come home and your parents tell you to get the hell out and not come back. Yeah, because I need people like that in my life. Then something incredible happened. Something I never would have expected in a million years. A letter was hand delivered to my door, I had to sign for it and anything. To my surprise it was addressed as so:
Miss Juliet Anastasia Victoria Benn
I never used my full name. I didn’t recognize the ornate scrawl. It was sealed with a wax seal. Seriously, who does that? I mean it’s not 1860. I opened it and in the same scrawl that had written my name was this letter.
Dearest Juliet,
My deepest sympathies to hear of the loss of Rose. She was a treasure, and the world is truly a darker place without her. I wish I had known she was ill, I would have sent word sooner. It is my greatest wish that we should meet. I offer you my personal hospitality at your earliest convenience. Send word care of return post when you wish to come to my humble home and I will send transportation for you.
Sincerely Yours,
Duke of Eastwick
James Eastgate
I stared at the letter for days. At first I was laughing, thinking it was all a joke. Then I began to wonder if it really was. I didn’t know what to make of it until another letter came for me, one with the same seal as the other letter.
Juliet,
I am wondering if you doubt my intentions. I need to speak with you. Please allow me a chance to explain. There is so much I want to talk to you about, so much I cannot explain with a letter. We need to speak, face to face if possible.
Sincerely Yours,
James Eastgate
I decided to take a chance and I sent a letter back.
Dear Duke of Eastwick,
Is that what I should call you? I have no idea who you are or why you would want to talk to me, but okay. You knew my mother? How? I really have no idea what to say, or write, or whatever. I guess I could come see you, but where? And more importantly why?
Juliet Benn
Two weeks later another letter came in the mail.
Juliet,
I am thrilled to hear from you! I knew your mother many years ago, she was truly a radiant woman. I am reluctant to say why I wish to see you, as it has yet to be proven. From what I have found out you are truly like her. Whenever you are ready I will send a private jet to you.
Sincerely Yours,
James Eastgate
I wrote him a letter saying I had graduation to go to, but I would be willing to come after that. It gave me a month to get everything prepared. I took a leave of absence from work. A friend of mine had moved in with her son not too long ago, so I trusted her with my home and my beloved puppy. Well, he had been a puppy, now he was about 95 pounds of adorable. My German shepherd, Loki. I warned her that if anything happened to Loki, even if it wasn’t her fault, that I would kill her. Then I packed my bags and boarded a plane to England.
I grew up in sunny Florida. I’ve never lived more than thirty minutes of the beach, and I had never been out of the country short of my spring break cruise to Mexico my junior year of college. This was a whole new kind adventure. I just hoped I was ready for it.
Chapter II
I stumbled off the plane feeling shaky. I hadn’t ever been on a plane before, and apparently I had been through really bad turbulence, though I had nothing to compare it to. There was a black car waiting for me, I went to grab my bags and saw someone carrying them.
“Let me get that,”
“No, no, really it’s my pleasure.” He offered. I had to admit I liked his accent.
“But I feel bad,”
“Why, miss? It’s my job.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Your job?”
“I’m one of Mr. Eastgate’s servants.”
“He has servants?”
He looked at me like he was wondering if I was joking or not. I wasn’t.
“So, you’re like his slave?”
“Servants and slaves are very different miss! Servants have been a vital part of British society for hundreds of years. It’s a noble profession.”
“So, you like serving?”
“Yes,”
I shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat.”
He looked at me like I was an idiot. I figured I should probably keep my mouth shut. I let them lead me to the car and usher me inside. I watched in silence as the countryside whizzed by. We were taken to a huge house.
“Welcome, to Eastgate Manor.”
“By the way, what is your name?”
“Oh, I am Thomas.” He smiled.
“I didn’t say it before, but it’s a pleasure to meet you.” I offered my hand. Thomas smiled and shook it.
“The pleasure is all mine.” He assured me, bowing to me. “Allow me to escort you inside.” I was led through the ornate marble fixtures and archways to what I guessed was the main house.
“Thomas, who is this?” came a high pitched whine.
I looked behind me to see a beautiful girl. She had full curves, was tall with impossibly long legs. Her hair was a pale blonde, I couldn’t tell if it was natural or out of a bottle. Her eyes were a pretty shade of blue, but they were narrowed into slits. I had this funny feeling she didn’t like me.
“A guest of your father.”
“You didn’t answer my question.” She snapped. I felt underdressed in my jeans and an Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt. I fidgeted with my fedora. She was wearing a pale blue sundress with a large brimmed white hate and strappy white sandal heels. Somehow, I had this feeling my dirty converse wouldn’t be accepted here.
“I’m Juliet,” I interrupted, offering my hand.
“Juliet? I’ve never heard of you. And why are you dressed like that?”
“Um, because this is how I dress?”
“What kind of person dresses like that to meet someone like my father? Have you no respect?” she sneered at me, her voice shrill.
“Angelica,” came a stern voice behind me.
“Daddy!” she cooed. Her entire demeanor changed. Her scowl became a cheerful smile and her eyes brightened. “I think this girl is lost.”
The man turned to me and I was taken aback. It was too weird, he looked like . . . me almost. The main difference was the eyes. I had my mother’s eyes. It was the only feature of hers that I had inherited. We both had the same almond shaped, storm grey eyes. This man had the same black hair as me, only his was peppered with grey. He looked at least twenty years older than me.
“You must be Juliet,” he smiled.
I nodded. “Yes, and you are?”
“My name is James, but we may be closer than you realize. I have a favor to ask of you.”
“You want a favor?”
“Would you be willing to do a simple test?”
“What kind of test?”
“A DNA test,”
“What the fuck?”
“You do not talk that way to Daddy!” Angelica hissed. “You will respect him!”
“That’s quite enough Angelica.” James scolded. She gaped at him and then glared at me. She crossed her arms and stomped her foot as she turned away from me.
“Perhaps a private word? Come, let me escort you to my study.”
“Whoa there hoss, I don’t know about all that.”
“I wish to ask about your mother.” A strange look crossed his face. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. “Give me the chance to explain these circumstances. I know it’s strange. It’s strange for me too. Let’s explain everything and if you do not like it, you are welcome to leave at any time, but please accept my hospitality for at least one night. You just flew for nine hours. I’m sure you’re tired.”
“Actually, I slept on the plane.”
He sighed. “I know this seems strange, but this is
I sighed. “Okay, but I’m warning you, if things get weird I’m getting back on that plane and getting the hell out of here.”
He smiled. “Fair enough.” He led me through a maze of hallways and rooms and it didn’t take me long to be completely disoriented and lost. He led me into a room lined with books. I marveled at it. “Please, take a seat.” He offered indicating a few leather seats as he took the chair behind a large mahogany desk that looked at least two hundred years old.
I sat stiffly in the chair, it was more comfortable that it looked and I tried settling in.
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
He smiled at me. “I had a feeling. I knew your mother many years ago.” He was staring in my direction but not looking at me. He was somewhere else entirely. “I loved her. Never question that.” I had a feeling I knew where this story was going. “She was studying at Cambridge for a term, and she was visiting the Louvre on the same day I was. It didn’t take me ten minutes to realize the kind of woman she was. She didn’t realize who I was, and when she did, it didn’t matter. She was unlike any woman I had ever met. Life was simpler back then. I didn’t have responsibilities, or cares, or any idea what the real world was like. I can safely say the time I spent with your mother was the happiest of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife, Millie, but things were different with us. We were betrothed. I had no idea your mother was pregnant when she left.”
I felt the color drain from my face. The blood in my veins felt like ice. “Are you saying?”
“Yes, I believe I am.”
“Who are you to me?”
“I believe you may be my daughter.” I felt the room start spinning and my breathing was faster than it should have been. I felt the sides of my vision start to fade to blackness.
Chapter III
I woke up staring at a strange ceiling. I had to think hard. I looked around the room I was in. Well Toto, I definitely wasn’t in Kansas anymore. I woke up alone in a strange bed. Alone, alone is good. I sat up and started taking everything in. Was I in a ritzy hotel? Think Jules, how did I get here. Then it started coming back.
A Duke of something . . . . England . . . . oh my god. Twenty-one years of accepting that my father was some sort of abstract idea, and I might have found him. What the fuck? I realized my luggage was in the room with me.
My phone was on the bedside table. I looked at it, and in Florida it would be nine o’clock at night which made it about one am here. I was a night owl and nine o’clock at night I would still be at work.
I threw the covers off tried to orient myself. How did I get into this? I looked around the darkened room again. It was mostly done in golds and reds. It screamed Gryffindor tower to me. I found a lamp and turned it on. The room was positively gorgeous. The bed I was in was a canopy four poster that had to be at least king sized. It was huge. I had to admit the burgundy bedspread was pretty. I was more of a purple kind of girl, but I could appreciate a nice thing when I saw it. The walls were painted gold with an oriental border. The carpet was a deep red and plush and I scrunched my toes in it. I smiled. I loved the way it felt under my feet.
I took a deep breath and the room smelled almost stale, like it wasn’t lived in. There was no doubt of that. There was a fragrance to the room like someone tried to cover up the staleness. For some reason I felt suddenly lonely. I opened up my suitcase and pulled out a pair of my pajamas and changed quickly. I was wide awake in a foreign house in a foreign country.
Now, I wouldn’t exactly call myself stupid, but I’m not exactly known for making the best decisions when I’m bored. Actually, that’s what led to two of my tattoos. So, being the bright person I am, I decide it’s a good idea to go exploring. Don’t ask me why, even I don’t know.
I found my black converse and put them on. I opened the door and it was pitch black outside. I grabbed my phone and put on the flashlight app and started off down a hallway. The place was huge. I started wondering in whichever direction seemed a good idea. I didn’t bother remembering, I doubted I’d ever find my way back anyway. Somehow, that just didn’t seem important.
I found three secret passageways and it wasn’t long until I ran into someone.
“Hi,” I smiled.
“Hello there. Who, may I ask, are you?” asked a girl with blonde hair pulled up in a loose bun. She was wearing a black skirt that fell just below her knees over black stockings and a long sleeved black tunic shirt.
“I’m Juliet.”
“Oh, so you’re the one everyone is talking about.” She had a coy smile playing across her lips, her brown eyes glinting.
“Me?”
“Yes,”
I pondered this. “Why?”
“Well, it’s not my place to say, but what are you doing up at this hour?” she asked as she glanced at her watch.
“I’m not used to this time zone. I’m wide awake.”
“That would explain it.”
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Gwen.”
“What are you doing up at this hour?”
“I’m preparing the bedding for the morning. Why are you in the servant’s corridors?”
“Is that where I am?”
“Are you lost?”
“Yes,”
Gwen burst out laughing. “Would you like help getting back?”
“Actually, could you just show me around?”
“I can’t right now, but I can later.”
“Why not right now?”
“Because I’m working.” Gwen laughed.
“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m holding you up.” I felt bad. I knew what it was like to be behind at work. “Nevermind, sorry.”
“It’s alright. How about I show you to your room?”
“That would be cool.”
Gwen laughed as she led me through the servants’ quarters to the hallway my room was on. “I tell you what, I’ll be finished with the laundry at ten, I’ll come back and show you around if you want. I’ll come and do your bedding last.”
“That would be amazing.”
Gwen laughed. “Alright, well I have to get back to work. You should try to get some sleep. I’ll see you around.”
I went back in my room and pulled myself into bed. I checked my phone again and it was now almost four am here in England. I cuddled into the sheets and felt sleep pull me under.
I awoke to a soft rapping on the door. “Miss Benn? Are you awake? It’s time to wake up. Breakfast is served at seven o’clock sharp.”
“Are you serious?” I groaned. I did not do well on three hours of sleep. The last thing I wanted was to get out of my nice warm nest of blankets.
“I’m afraid so, Miss Benn.”
“What time is it?”
“Six thirty.”
Scratch that, two and a half hours. “Can you come in here?”
The door cracked open and a small, fragile looking woman entered. She was pretty in an understated kind of way. She didn't look much older than me. She had her ginger hair tied back in a braid and was wearing a uniform almost identical to Gwen’s except hers came with an apron. “Yes, Miss Benn?”
“Is there somewhere I can take a shower?”
“Of course, the door to your right is your washroom.”
I hadn’t even realized there was a door there. “Oh, thanks.”
“Is there anything else?”
“Not really. Oh, what was your name?”
“Me?”
“Yeah,”
“I am Laurel.” She replied blinking her brilliant green eyes at me from behind her black, wire rimmed glasses.
“It’s a pleasure.” I dragged my butt out of bed and offered her my hand.
She shook it looking at me like I’d sprouted an extra head. “The pleasure is all mine.” I wasn’t sure why she looked so bewildered.
“Thanks, I’m going to get a shower, but I have a small request.”
“Yes, my lady?”
“When I’m finished can someone show me where the dining room is?” I asked hopeful. The last thing I wanted was to miss food.
Laurel smiled. “Of course. I can wait for you if you like.”
“That would be amazing!” I hugged her and she stiffened up. “Thanks, it’ll only take me ten minutes!”
