In the Rancher's Arms, page 17
When she stepped onto the porch and saw Neil walking toward her, her pulse accelerated. Gone were the shorts and T-shirt. While she’d appreciated how they’d shown off his body, the jeans, Western-style shirt, boots and hat fit who he was better. And he looked pretty damn good in them, too. When she wondered what he’d look like out of them, heat engulfed her.
“You look beautiful,” he said when they reached each other.
The compliment surprised her. She’d never thought of herself that way. Most of the time she was barely put together, her hair pulled into a ponytail, wearing a baseball cap and no makeup. What good would primping do if you were hoofing it through a jungle or baking under a desert sun?
“Thank you. You’re looking not half bad yourself.”
He escorted her to the passenger side of his truck and opened the door for her, the picture of chivalry.
“Where are we going?” she asked when he slipped into the driver’s seat.
“You like to dance?”
“Yeah, I do, though I don’t get to go very often.” She figured they’d end up at the Blue Falls Music Hall, but as he drove through town, right past the building, she looked over at him.
“Figured you might like to go somewhere everyone doesn’t know you.”
She reached across the seat and took his hand in hers. “My mom was right. You are one of the good ones.”
They held hands all the way to Gruene, home of the oldest dance hall in Texas, beating out the one in Blue Falls by only a few months. But Neil didn’t immediately drive to the hall. Instead, they ended up at a restaurant on the Guadalupe River.
“It’s lovely here,” she said after they’d ordered.
“I’m glad you like it.”
An unexpected wave of shyness hit Arden. She’d never been shy a day in her life, but she suddenly had trouble thinking of something to say.
“How are you liking your job so far?” he asked, ending the awkward silence.
“It’s fine. Helps pay the bills, right?”
He nodded.
“Actually, I’d like to run something by you, see what you think.” She hadn’t intended to ask him until she had something to show him, but maybe it was better to ask before she had too much time invested. “I’ve been doing research into the loss of family ranches to wealthy investors and corporate interests, partly because of the desire to have hobby ranches and partly because of mineral rights. I thought in addition to working at the Gazette, I might float some bigger pieces to some of my national contacts. I’d like to feature your family and maybe some of Angel’s photos if she’s agreeable.”
Neil sat back in his chair. “I don’t know. I don’t want it to bring more guys like Evans to our door.”
“I would make it clear that your family isn’t interested in selling.”
He considered that for a moment. “I’ll have to ask the others. Not sure how they’d feel about that.”
She wondered if part of his hesitation had to do with his past, with those of his brothers and sisters. She hadn’t considered that. But part of what made her a good reporter was personalizing her stories, making it easier for the readers to invest in the piece and, if necessary, take action.
“I don’t normally allow subjects to approve articles, but I’d make an exception this time. Your family has been so kind to me.”
Their food arrived accompanied by an aroma that made her stomach growl.
Neil chuckled and shook his head. “Even after all those brownies you ate.”
“Hey, that was hours ago. And I didn’t eat them alone. I saw you consume no less than three.” She was aware that the turn in conversation had left the question of the article hanging, but she’d table that discussion for now. It wasn’t as if she had a deadline. More like a...yearning to reclaim at least a bit of who she’d been before without the concerns that came with it.
The conversation came easier after that, and Arden relaxed. Considering how many brownies she’d had earlier in the day, she passed on dessert. When she did so, Neil did as well and paid the check. They left the restaurant hand in hand and leisurely made their way down the street. But instead of making the turn that would take them to the dance hall, Neil suddenly pulled her into the dark cover provided by a vine-draped grape arbor.
“I’ve wanted to do this all day,” he said before his lips captured hers.
She returned his kiss with all the desire she’d been keeping under wraps all day herself. Her fingers dug into his back, feeling the play of muscles created by the hard work it took to keep his family’s home safe and able to support them. He was exactly the kind of person the world needed more of, not the men who’d tried to rob her not only of her freedom but also the very person she’d always been. She still had a long road ahead in leaving the fear and anger behind, but this man in her arms had helped her along that road quicker than she’d ever imagined. Made her feel alive again. And she’d never wanted more to feel alive.
“Neil,” she said against his lips.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t really want to go dancing.”
“Me neither.”
They separated just enough for their gazes to connect. She wondered if he was thinking what she was—that neither one of them had a place to call their own where they could be alone.
“Come on,” he said as he took her hand and led her toward his truck.
She went willingly, her heart thumping wildly. Once in the truck, they didn’t go far. Neil pulled up in front of a small inn, and she knew that if she was going to back out, it had to be now. But as she looked across the cab at him, at his unspoken question, she smiled. She wanted Neil Hartley—all of him.
He made quick work of going to the front desk and securing a room. Then being the kind of man he was, he glanced around before accompanying her from the truck to a room that sat next to a small courtyard with a stone fountain gurgling in the middle and a couple of wooden benches set at angles facing it. The room could have had a view of a parking lot and the interstate, for all she cared. As long as it had a clean bed that she could fall into with Neil, that’s all that mattered.
The door wasn’t even all the way closed behind them before Neil pulled her to him and kissed her again. She ended up with her back flush against the door and Neil’s body pressed against her front. She thought maybe she could stay like this with him forever and be perfectly happy.
“I’m sorry if I’m going too fast,” he said, his breath against her wet lips.
“We’ve still got our clothes on, so you’re not going fast enough.”
He framed her face with those wonderful hands of his, hands made to hold a woman. “You’re sure this isn’t too soon?”
“I’m sure.” She pushed him toward the bed until his legs bumped against it.
Neil sat on the corner of the mattress and brought her down on top of him, her knees at either side of his hips. He held her gaze as he slipped his hands underneath her shirt and pushed it upward. When his mouth touched the skin of her breast above her bra, she jerked against him and felt the way his body responded. In a flash, he spun her around and onto her back. His original intention might have been to take it slow, but that plan was abandoned in short order as they shed clothes in all directions.
When they were completely naked, Arden ran her hands over Neil’s chest. “I’ve always been an arm woman, but you’re making a convincing argument for chests.”
Neil grinned. “That right?”
“Yes, sir.”
He lowered slowly toward her, a wicked gleam in his eyes. “I could say the same thing about you.”
When he took her breast into his mouth, she gasped and closed her eyes. “Oh, my.”
Neil chuckled then ran his tongue around the tip of her breast, making her body arch toward his. He used the opportunity to wrap one of those fantastic arms around the lower part of her back. Almost without thought, she opened to him and he made his way to where she wanted him most. The feeling of him inside her set all her nerve endings ablaze. Her entire body felt as if it’d just awakened from a lifetime of sleeping.
“You okay?” he whispered next to her ear.
“Oh, yes.” To show him she meant it, she moved, creating the world’s most perfect friction.
Neil growled deep in his throat then began to move. She met his every stroke, their breath and pants mingling as they both raced toward that pinnacle of human pleasure. As she approached the precipice, she couldn’t tell when one of her breaths ended and the next began. Her fingers curled into the sheet as she peaked. Moments later, Neil’s entire body went rigid above her, his muscles strained in a picture of stunning male beauty.
When he collapsed beside her, she couldn’t help her big smile. Neil gave her a lifted-brow look, then hooked his arm around her waist.
“Come here,” he said, then kissed her as if what they’d just shared hadn’t lessened his desire at all.
She had to admit, she didn’t want to leave the bed anytime soon.
Neil pulled the sheet over them. “Don’t want you to get cold.”
“I’m anything but cold at the moment.”
He ran his thumb across her cheek. “I didn’t intend for this to happen tonight.”
“I’m glad it did.”
“Really?”
She placed her hand at his waist. “Yes. I haven’t felt this alive in a long time. And before you think otherwise, just anyone in this bed with me wouldn’t have been the same. It’s because it’s you.”
He looked genuinely stunned by her words.
Arden felt something even more important bubble inside her, but she wasn’t sure if she should give it voice. She had to be certain she was recovered enough from her time in captivity before she started making any declarations of love. Is that what she was feeling? She wasn’t even sure about that. Of course, she’d loved before, but this felt different and she needed to know why before she said something that could potentially hurt Neil if she was wrong.
Neil’s hand cupped her face. “I never want to hurt you.”
“You’re a good man, Neil. I don’t think you ever could.”
They kissed again, and eventually they made love again, then they each took a shower, got dressed and headed to Blue Falls before it got so late it would cause questions neither of them wanted to answer.
When Neil pulled into her parents’ driveway, Arden hated the idea of going inside without him.
“I really enjoyed tonight,” she said.
He gripped her hand. “Me, too.”
They stared at each other for a long moment before he got out of the truck and came around to open her door. She was perfectly capable of doing it herself, but she really liked how his chivalrous manners made her feel without making her feel less than or helpless.
He grasped her hand again and accompanied her to the door. There he took her face between his hands and kissed her as if he was seeing her off on a voyage around the world and wouldn’t see her for months.
“Can I call you tomorrow?” he asked.
“Of course.”
After one more kiss, he nodded toward the door. Even though she was reluctant to leave him, she couldn’t very well stand on the porch with him the rest of the night.
It wasn’t until she was inside and heard his truck start up and back down the driveway that she realized from the moment he’d picked her up she hadn’t once thought about what dangers might lurk in the dark.
Chapter Thirteen
Arden sat on the bench beside the pond watching the sun set. As a couple of ducks glided across the surface of the water, she thought how there might not be a more peaceful spot in all the world. Part of her waited for the familiar panic to rise within her as evening approached from the east, but her full-blown panic attacks had receded. She knew they might make a sudden reappearance at any time, but she felt better equipped to handle them now.
The past three weeks, since that night she and Neil had first made love, had been the happiest of her life. Not only did she find herself in his arms often, falling for him more each time, but she felt as if she was already a member of his family. She’d worked with Angel on the article about the state of family ranching across the West, which was set to be published in the next issue of a national magazine. Sloane had roped her into helping with the kids at one of her ranch camps and had helped her brainstorm ways to fund them for the future. Arden had written a feature for the Gazette on Ben’s custom saddles, which had been rerun in a couple of other papers owned by the same chain. She’d even played hide-and-seek with Julia on a couple of occasions.
But the times she treasured most were the stolen moments with Neil. Hungry kisses and promises of more just out of sight and earshot of some member of one of their families. He’d even caught her as she’d arrived at the Hartley ranch one afternoon and pulled her into the tack room of the barn for a particularly hot make out session.
All of those wonderful moments should have given her an instant answer to the question now weighing on her mind. That it hadn’t worried her. She didn’t want to hurt Neil or his family, but the further she’d gotten away from her horrible experience in Uganda and the more she’d dipped her toe into writing things other than local news and human interest pieces for the Gazette, the more she wondered if she’d really left behind the person she’d been before her capture.
“Be careful. Thinking that hard might make your brain ooze out your ears.”
She looked up in surprise, having not heard her father’s approach. That his footsteps hadn’t startled her was more evidence that she wasn’t the easily frightened mouse who’d arrived home feeling irrevocably broken.
“That would certainly be messy,” she said.
He sat on the bench beside her, and she noticed that he, too, was looking a lot better than when she’d come home. His color had the flush of health, and he didn’t seem to get tired quite so easily. She’d noticed him doing more around the house, too.
“Your deep thoughts have to do with that phone call earlier?”
“You heard that?”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“They want you to come back, don’t they?”
She sighed. “Yeah, but I already made the decision not to weeks ago.”
“Why?”
“My life is here. I’ve got a job, I like spending time with you and Mom.”
“And Neil.”
She smiled. “Yes, and Neil.”
“Do you love him?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. How does anyone know if what they feel is love or just strong affection and attraction?”
“You know when you feel it. When I fell for your mom, it hit me like a boulder shot from a catapult.”
The fact that she wasn’t certain, did that mean she didn’t love Neil? This was why she liked dealing with facts. Things were either true or they weren’t, no confusion.
“I think you should go back.”
She jerked her gaze toward her father. “What?”
“You’re staying here for the wrong reasons—worrying about me and your mother, fear, settling. You’re always going to wonder if you made the right decision, if you abandoned what you were really meant to do.”
“You want me to leave?” Her heart hurt at the idea, but she couldn’t deny a flicker of excitement at the thought of being in the thick of major world events. But could she do it? Would it just cause her panic attacks to return with brutal force?
“I want you to live the life that is perfect for you, whether that’s on the other side of the world or right here in Blue Falls. I want you to be happy.”
“I promised myself I wouldn’t worry you and Mom again.”
“Sweetheart, there is danger in every corner of the world, even a place as safe as here. We can’t all live our lives afraid of some imagined danger. That’s not living.”
Her dad’s words echoed in her mind long after he went inside and the stars began to appear in the sky. The longer she sat, the more she moved toward the decision she’d never thought she’d make.
But how was she going to tell Neil without hurting him? When she was certain she couldn’t do it without hurting herself?
* * *
NEIL PAID FOR the yellow-frosted cupcake and headed out the door of Mehlerhaus Bakery. He darn near whistled as he walked down the sidewalk, a bag containing a small bakery box in hand, toward the Gazette office. Even though more than a month had passed since his feelings for Arden had taken a definite turn, he felt more the lovesick puppy every time he saw her. Even when he was hard at work on the ranch, his thoughts strayed to her and the next time he’d see her. Anytime an errand needed to be run in town, he was quick to volunteer, much to the building amusement of his siblings. And he was pretty sure his mom was already envisioning a wedding and grandbabies.
He and Arden weren’t there yet. She’d been through too much to rush into anything. And he was content to take it slow as long as he could spend time with her. His life had taken on a brightness he’d never known existed.
His timing was impeccable because he arrived in the paper’s parking area moments before she stepped out the door. He came close and said, “Hello, gorgeous,” before dropping a quick kiss on her lips.
“Hey. What are you doing here?”
He lifted the bag. “Bringing you a sweet treat.”
She took the bag and peeked inside. “What’s the occasion?”
He shrugged. “It’s Tuesday.”
She smiled a little at that, but it wasn’t the wholehearted smile she usually gifted him.
“Something wrong?”
It took her a moment before she looked at him. “Do you have time for a walk along the lake?”
