Trevennor’s Will, page 21
‘No, I’m all right, Kitty. Please carry on.’
Isabel pictured Nick standing solemnly at the graveside as Kitty recounted what she had been told.
‘I’m so pleased that so many of the villagers paid their last respects and it was good of the Reverend, Mr Thomas, to say a prayer for me too,’ she said quietly, a few minutes later. ‘It sounds as though all the local great houses were represented. I’m glad the Bassets sent someone. Some people consider them to be the county’s foremost family and Uncle Laurence was always well received by them. My mother was a cousin to the late Mr Francis Basset’s wife. Dear Uncle Laurence, he was greatly respected and he’ll be very much missed.’
‘That’s what my gentleman said. He went into Trevennor House afterwards and said Nick was there too, looking smart and tidy, for a change, in a good suit of clothes. He knows Nick, you see, Nick trains all his horses.’
Even through her grief Isabel could not help saying, ‘I would like to have seen that, Nick all dressed up.’
‘Would you now?’ Kitty muttered disapprovingly under her breath. She turned and raked vigorously at the fire to make the dead ash drop into the grate.
‘I’m very sorry,’ Isabel said to Kitty’s back.
The other young woman swung round in surprise. ‘Whatever for?’
‘I’ll be honest with you, Kitty, I don’t know. I’ve known you long enough to realize you don’t stay vexed for long but I don’t understand your moods. You seem to get annoyed with me quite often, like just now when I mentioned my surprise at Nick’s handwriting.’
‘It wasn’t that,’ Kitty said, fiddling with the poker.
‘What then?’ Isabel said firmly.
Kitty glanced down uneasily. ‘It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to upset you after talking about your uncle’s funeral. It can keep.’
‘No, Kitty. I don’t need to be treated gently any more. If you have something you want to say to me then please say it now.’
‘Very well,’ Kitty said, holding up her head and saying rather severely, ‘You talk about Nick a lot, Jenna. Too much, to be honest with you. You’ve been here over two weeks and it’s just about all I hear from you. You ply Benjamin with questions about him too.’
Isabel knew she could not deny this and it occurred to her that perhaps Kitty was in love with Nick and jealous of the three days and two nights they had spent together. Tension crackled in the kitchen and threatened the friendship they were building up. Isabel did not want to quarrel with the woman who had so willingly taken her in, who was kind and generous to her, but because of her upbringing, she could not allow herself to be reprimanded.
‘Why does it cause you so much concern, Kitty?’ she retorted.
‘Well, to begin with you are betrothed, soon to be married, and I don’t hear nothing much about Captain Richard Grenville.’
‘I’ve told you all about Richard,’ Isabel said defensively, wanting to look away.
‘Oh, I’ve heard about how you first met him at a charity ball in Truro’s great assembly rooms. That he’s a captain in the Navy, is the younger son of a baronet but was left a small fortune and property at Falmouth by his doting grandmother. That he loves the sea and spends most of his time on it. You’ve told me that you will live mostly at your estate at Malpas in Truro after you are married. You’ve told me the colour and style of your wedding gown, what flowers you have chosen to carry and where you are to spend the first days of your marriage.’
‘Exactly!’ Isabel said heatedly. ‘I’ve told you everything about Richard.’
‘No, you haven’t. You’ve talked all around him but not about him. I don’t know what he looks like, whether he’s romantic, handsome, fat, old, has a sense of humour, and not once have you spoken of your plans for your future together.’ Kitty was quite rattled and stood with her dark eyes blazing and hands on her narrow hips. ‘Well? What does Richard Grenville look like? A hideous ageing sea captain with a peg leg and a large wart at the end of his nose?’
‘No! He’s as handsome as a storybook hero, he’s young, tall and dark with a flashing smile. He’s good and kind and witty and I was happy to accept his proposal of marriage because I was getting the better bargain!’ Isabel’s face was hot with indignation yet she could not remember the smaller important things about Richard Grenville while everything about Nick was emblazoned on her mind.
‘Yes, but do you love him?’ Kitty hurled at her.
Isabel turned sharply away and went to a window that gave a clear view of the snaking River Gannel. She watched a ship sail out of view on its way to unload limestone at Fern Pit, then said quietly, ‘I’ve never had to consider whether I love Richard or not.’
Kitty moved up beside her and with all huffiness gone she put an arm round Isabel’s waist. ‘Do you like him?’
‘Yes, I like Richard. He’s a good man.’
‘That’s all right then. Many a good marriage has been founded on a mutual liking and respect.’
To Kitty, the matter was now closed. Isabel knew the point she had wanted to make but if Kitty thought she had been successful in taking her thoughts away from Nick, she was wrong.
Kitty said brightly, ‘C’mon, m’dear, let’s make ourselves a dish of tea. I know I could do with one. We’ll have to burn Nick’s letter, better leave nothing to chance.’
Isabel looked sadly at the letter. She wanted to keep it, to have something as personal of Nick’s as his handwriting. It would help her feel secure. She didn’t want to think about Richard, to worry that she might be at risk until she was his wife. The past could not harm her. She remembered only the good times with Nick and wanted to cling to them, and to anything linked with Nick. She read the letter again quickly. ‘Will see you in the Near Future.’ She fed it reluctantly to the flames and hid her face lest Kitty guess how soon in the near future she hoped it would be.
‘I answered your question about Richard,’ Isabel said, lifting down the tea caddy from a shelf of the dresser. ‘But tell me, Kitty, are you in love with Nick?’
Kitty paused in putting saffron cake on a china plate. ‘So that’s what’s going through your mind, is it? You think I’m jealous of you and Nick spending that time together so I had a go at you about Richard Grenville. I just wanted you to face your feelings for him and what you think you feel for Nick.’ She looked up from the plate and she saw a guarded expression on Isabel’s face. ‘You can’t have him, you know.’
A flicker of exasperation passed over Isabel’s face and she breathed in heavily. ‘I wish you were not always so forthright, Kitty.’
‘In my profession I’ve had to learn a lot about what goes on in another’s head and heart. Listen to me. You don’t have to encourage the sun to rise in the morning and Nick is the same about his life. He has to travel about, he won’t be tied down, he just can’t be. He needs to be free as much as he needs air to breathe. Do you understand what I’m saying, Jenna?’
‘You’ve made it perfectly clear, Kitty. You call me Jenna, my assumed name, but you think of me only as Isabel Hampton, don’t you?’
‘Up to a few days ago it’s what you’ve been all your life. I’m worried for you, that’s all. I can see all too easily the effect that being alone with Nick has had on you, and who can blame you? He’s strong and masculine and so very good-looking – and completely unattainable. We all want most what we can’t have, Jenna, that’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, but some of the things we want we can never have. If you’ve got any romantic notions about Nick, my advice is to forget them. Apart from Nick’s desire to keep his freedom, you come from different worlds; Nick hates yours and you would soon despise ours if you had to live in it for good. If Nick ever decides to settle down, it will be years away.’
‘You’re wrong in one of your remarks, Kitty. After what I’ve been through recently I’ve come to value different things and enjoy the simpler life of your world. Whatever the outcome of this strange situation, I can never go back to my old way of life, not as it was before.’
‘You may have changed, but the facts about Nick remain the same.’
‘What about you and Nick? Are you hoping if he does settle down it will be with you?’
‘No. I think I was in love with Nick once, but it was a long time ago. He’s more like a brother to me now, which is good, as all I’ve got in the world is Benjamin.’
A lump of jealousy that had lived at the bottom of Isabel’s heart did not feel so heavy now. A brother? But I thought… when we came here you kissed…’
‘Oh, that,’ Kitty laughed and said unselfconsciously, ‘We were lovers once but not for years now. We always kiss like that, out of habit more than anything, though it’s so good to be kissed by Nick. But perhaps you know that.’
Isabel could have cried. ‘No, I don’t know,’ she answered, feeling the truth with a keen regret.
‘Well, that’s just as well then.’
They sipped their tea and nibbled at thin slices of saffron cake, both glad the conversation was over and that their feelings for Nick were out in the open, although Isabel’s not entirely. Kitty was content to have him as a friend and brother. Isabel knew now she was in love with him. She put aside the impossibility of his returning her love and of having a future with him and instead thought about Kitty sitting across the hearth from her.
‘Would you like to get married one day, Kitty?’
Kitty smiled. ‘I think you mean if a rich man who could provide for Benjamin and me asked, would I accept?’ She shrugged her shoulders. ‘I’ve had plenty of offers of marriage. Young men and old, some out of kindness, some wanting to reform me, as they put it. One of my gentlemen would marry me tomorrow, but Benjamin wouldn’t be part of the arrangement and I won’t have that. I might marry one day but right now I like my freedom, I like coming and going as I please.’
The same as Nick, Isabel thought, but did not voice it.
‘Yes, you do have your freedom, Kitty. Looking back over my life, although I was fortunate enough to have wealth and position, loving parents and Uncle Laurence, I seem to have spent nearly all my life doing what was expected of me.’
‘I wouldn’t give a bean for the life of a lady. Many that I know of do everything at the whim of their fathers, husbands and then their sons, even their brothers. Being used at night when married, without the enjoyment side of it, some are beaten, even worse if their husbands have perverted minds, and then having to go about their social lives as though nothing bad is happening. Your life hasn’t been bad at all really and at least you aren’t going to marry a man who has been forced on you.’
Isabel tried to conjure up a feeling of being fortunate on that count but failed.
Talland ran up to a window. Kitty got up to open it so she could make a fuss of him and Isabel joined her. The dog was sandy and wet from the sea. He jumped up to his mistress and both women squealed when he shook out his shaggy coat. He begged their forgiveness from large, brown, appealing eyes and received a corner of saffron cake. After wolfing down the cake, he noisily lapped his water bowl dry and bounded off again.
‘There goes another free spirit,’ Isabel said, smiling after him.
‘Aye, like someone else we know, eh, Jenna?’
Isabel thought she had annoyed Kitty again but no further chastisement came. ‘Whatever happens in the next few weeks, I hope we will always be friends, Kitty.’
‘Well, I second that, and Benjamin is happy that he’s made another friend. I have to go out this afternoon. You can have one of your little chats with him.’
‘That will be lovely, but sometimes I wish I didn’t have to stay cooped up all the time,’ Isabel said wistfully, looking out of the window and seeing Talland racing off up the Gannel.
‘There’s no reason why you shouldn’t go out occasionally. Actually, folk will be more curious if you don’t show your face from time to time. I’ll take you up to the village tomorrow.’
Before she went into Benjamin’s room, Isabel spent some time in thought, making plans as to how she would show her gratitude to Kitty and Nick’s other friends who had helped her.
Following Kitty’s instructions as to how to use the wash tub, dolly and mangle, she had laundered the clothes Charlie Chiverton had lent her herself. It had given her great satisfaction to accomplish a task that not long ago she would have thought fit only to be done by a menial. She had soaked herself from head to foot and made her hands red and chapped, but she had got the clothes hanging on the washing line and then caused Kitty much amusement by rushing outside every few minutes and grabbing at the clothes blown high by the wind to feel if they were dry. Kitty helped her with the more difficult task of ironing and told her how to place them near the heat of the fire to air them out. The clothes were now neatly folded on a chair in her bedroom. Isabel planned to return them to Charlie personally as soon as she knew it was safe to do so, and take some things to brighten up his shack and provide anything needed to make it completely waterproof. She hoped Charlie would see it as the act of a grateful friend and not as charity or condescension from someone who thought herself superior.
Isabel hoped Mundy Cottle would accept a copy of the Bible and after finding out exactly how many children she had, their ages and gender, she would ask Mundy if she could have a set of ‘Sunday-best’ clothes made for each one.
Showing her appreciation to Kitty was going to be more difficult. She was obviously well paid by her ‘gentlemen’ and lacked for nothing. Perhaps she could provide something to ease Benjamin’s discomfort but she knew she would be stepping on sensitive ground even to suggest it.
She would have to be even more careful about showing her appreciation to Nick. It was all too easy to step on his pride and bring his scorn down on her head. She’d thought about a team of horses so he could resume his work as a packman or waggoner if he wanted to, but decided he would see it as too generous. He might not object to a dog to replace his beloved Gutser.
Benjamin was easy to talk to and a good listener. He had not been told the reasons for Isabel’s presence in the house but he had sufficient perception to realize she was more likely to be a lady than a lady’s maid. Isabel had admitted this during one of their earlier talks when he had asked her quite openly if it was so. Today she was able to discuss her ideas on how to thank those who had helped her. He had heard of Charlie Chiverton and Mundy Cottle from his conversations with Nick and agreed with her ideas for them and about the dog for Nick. For his sister he told Isabel of something Kitty had often talked about.
‘Kitty won’t expect to be given a gift but I can see you have your heart set on giving her something. She would love to have some exotic plants for the garden.’
Isabel said she would look into that as soon as she was able, then remarked on something different. ‘You never have visitors here, Benjamin.’
‘When we first moved here folk used to come down this way just to hurl insults at Kitty or try their luck with her. Then one of her gentlemen saw to it that they stayed away.’
Isabel was shocked at first when she’d realized Benjamin knew about his sister’s ‘gentlemen’ but he explained that he’d guessed the truth himself from the taunts they’d received. He knew some of the ways of the world from long conversations with Nick, who had also taught him to read.
‘I heard your voices raised this morning,’ Benjamin said. ‘I heard Nick’s name mentioned. Was it something to do with you being in love with him, Jenna?’
‘Benjamin!’ she exclaimed but had to smile at his forthrightness.
‘I get a lot of time to think lying here. I realized from the start how you felt about him. Kitty doesn’t approve, does she?’
‘Kitty thinks there is no hope of there being anything between Nick and myself. She thinks I should just forget about him and think about my fiancé, Richard Grenville.’
‘Is that what you think too?’
Isabel hung her head. ‘I don’t think Nick could ever love me.’
‘We can never be sure of anything in life,’ Benjamin said, sounding like an old sage.
Isabel smiled to herself.
‘Oh, don’t you think that just because I’ve spent all my life lying on a bed and have spoken to few people that I don’t know anything about human nature. No one is just what they seem to be on the surface.’
‘Perhaps not,’ Isabel said doubtfully.
‘Do you agree with Kitty that you should only think about this Richard Grenville?’
‘Well, I have agreed to marry him. One should not make that promise lightly.’
‘You shouldn’t enter into a life you don’t really want either. It will only add to the heartbreak of the world and there’s enough of that already, don’t you think?’
‘Seems to me that all I’m asked to do is to think,’ Isabel replied glumly.
‘Kitty’s never spent much time thinking. She just gets on with the things she wants to do. She wanted a baby once and she had one.’
Isabel was startled. ‘Should you be telling me this, Benjamin? Wouldn’t Kitty have told me herself if she wanted me to know?’
‘I think she would want you to know but she gets too upset talking about him.’
‘Him? What happened to the baby?’
‘He died, before he was even weaned. His name was Jeremy and he was the handsomest, brightest-eyed little baby you could ever see. He smiled all day and Kitty used to bring him in here with me so I could talk to him. How he would coo and chuckle. I missed him dreadfully when he died.’
‘How did he die?’
‘’Twas a fever. Sudden, it was, on his little lungs. Nick was here when Jeremy died and he cried as much as Kitty and I did. Some folk didn’t want Jeremy buried in the churchyard but Nick ran and fetched the parson when we knew how ill the baby was. The parson came and as he’d baptized Jeremy soon after his birth he said he had every right to be buried in hallowed ground.’
‘Was Jeremy… do you know if Jeremy was…’ Isabel couldn’t get out the words she wanted to say.
‘Nick’s baby?’
