Humbug (The Unwinding of Ebenezer Scrooge): A Science Fiction Adventure, page 15
He flopped back into the fat chair, exhaling like a popped balloon. “It’s this holiday stuff. I don’t like it, brings me down. That’s all. Nothing to talk about, really.”
She stared, unblinking. It was the sort of X-ray look that exposed the bones and guts of a person, turned them inside out, shredding the phoniness. Nowhere to hide.
“Here’s what I suggest, Ebenezer. Be honest with me. I want to help you, but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me where you are. I’m not interested in wasting time. There are plenty of doctors that will get what you want. I’m not one of them. If my coffee gets cold and you’re not on with it, we’re done.”
She lifted her cup.
Eb cleared his throat, shifting in the chair. He had rehearsed a story just in case this happened. Now he felt cornered. Anger extinguished the nervousness twirling his stomach. It refueled his legs and reinforced his armor. She was challenging him and he liked that. But she was challenging him to drop the armor.
He didn’t take armor off.
“Okay, all right,” he said. “I’m just worried about the girls. You know, they’ve been through a lot since Jacob died, I’m sure you’re aware of that. I’ll never replace him, you know that. I just want to be the best father I can be and I… you know, I just don’t think I can handle this without some help. There’s the company and the stress and I don’t want to ignore them.”
Eb sniffed.
“I’m doing this for them,” he said. “I just want them to be happy.”
He suppressed a grin. He would bury this hard-driving psychiatrist beneath a mountain of snow and get what he wanted. He’d even rehearsed a victory dance for the moment she relented, something he’d do in private, not in front of her. Yet.
Dr. Chase nodded before leaning forward. Her chair groaned as she reached for the monitor and began to stand.
“Wait!” Eb shouted. “What are you doing?”
“My coffee’s cold.”
“But… it’s only been a minute.”
“Goodbye, Ebenezer.”
“I’m having bad dreams!”
Her thick turtleneck appeared frozen on the screen. If she had killed the connection, it would’ve gone blank. Then she moved. She backed up until she was in full view again.
“Go on.”
“You… you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I was just trying to save you some time.”
“Try me.”
“Okay. Well, I don’t know where to start.”
“Start with the dream.”
“I don’t usually dream, that’s the thing.”
“Then it must be very strange for you, a person with all this vision that doesn’t dream.”
“What’s that mean?”
“You have a company that builds dreams for other people, yet you say you don’t usually dream. Tell me about your dream, Ebenezer.”
He chuckled. He was a grown man having nightmares. It sounded so stupid now that he thought about it. “I… I don’t know how to start.”
“Start with the first one.”
“How’d you know there were two dreams?”
“I didn’t. You said you had bad dreams. I said start with the first one.”
He weaved his fingers over his chest and sank back, staring at the vaulted ceiling. Why did it feel like she knew there were two dreams?
“Last Christmas,” he started, “was the first one. It happened at midnight, almost exactly.”
He recalled the tremor that shook the house, the tracks leading up to the house and the ivory-white thing with stretched limbs and sticks for hair, the bugs that crawled throughout them, the way his tongue snapped them up.
A thing that was feeding itself with the things that were feeding on it.
“He said he was there to show me the future. And then we were there, standing in my house, in a room with an elegant dome and golden pillars and what looked like a solid gold floor and… and me. I was dying. And I was alone.”
A lump swelled in his throat.
“This woman, she was an assistant or something, celebrated when I took my last breath.”
He left out the funeral part and the coffin. He was uncertain he could talk about being buried alive without having to pace the room, and that would give away more emotion than he wanted.
The doctor was sitting down. She’s buying it.
“Do you believe it?” she asked.
“We all die.”
“Not alone.”
He shrugged. “I like my own company.”
“So it didn’t bother you?”
“Maybe a little.”
He threw her a bone with a little emotion on it to keep her seated. It did bother him. And he wasn’t going to forget that assistant, either. As soon as he saw her, she was fired.
“Did the dream change you in any way?” Dr. Chase said.
“I started drinking smoothies.”
Her eyelids grew heavy. She leaned back with mug in hand.
“Yes, of course I changed. I’m trying to be, you know, nicer and happier and blah, blah, blah. It was a dream, though.” He chuckled a bit maniacally. “It’s not like I believed it, come on.”
“Dreams are the voice of our subconscious, Ebenezer. This one is speaking loud and clear. Maybe that’s why it came back.”
“How’d you know it came back?”
“I’m assuming that’s why you called this morning.”
His knuckles ached. Two seconds ago, he was talking about stupid dreams and thoughts. They suddenly felt real again.
“Are you afraid to die?” she asked.
“Yes.”
That came out without premeditation. It was honest and direct. He was afraid to die. More than that, he was lying. I’m afraid to die alone. All this stuff he’d collected—this castle and wealth, these self-serving droids—would mean nothing when he was on his deathbed. His life would have no meaning in their wake.
His breathing had become choppy. His eyes, glassy. He kept them open until they itched and watered. When he lifted his head, tears fell down his cheeks. It looked like he was crying. She put down her coffee when she saw this.
We have a winner.
“So what did you do?” she asked.
“About what?”
“After the dream, what did you change?”
“I walked it off, forgot about it. It wasn’t doing me any good thinking about it. I can’t do anything about the future.”
“Interesting. You did nothing.”
“I didn’t say nothing. I said I walked it off, got back to living.”
“Despite knowing your future.”
“It was a dream.”
“A very real dream.”
“Yeah.” He wiped his cheek to remind her he was crying.
“Why do you think you had a dream that believable?”
“Stress? Something I ate?”
“Could it be true?”
“A stretched-out monster that broke into my house and took me to the future?” He jolted upright “Are you insane? What kind of doctor… did you get your degree online? This is absurd—”
“Things yet to come, Ebenezer. Could it be true?”
“That I’ll die? Of course!”
“In that manner. Will you die all alone, with nobody at your side, with people celebrating? Will your life have meaning?”
“Do your patients commit suicide often?”
“You sounded remorseful, Ebenezer. It was more than death that bothered you.”
“What do you want me to say, I’m scared? Okay, I admit it. I’m scared. I don’t want to die alone and, and…”
He flopped back to stare at the ceiling. Unloved.
That was what he didn’t say. He didn’t want to leave the world with a bunch of mindless droids staring at him. No one would care he lived. Or died.
At least no one will be sad at your death, the droid said.
“And what, Ebenezer?”
“Nothing.”
She paused. “There was a second dream?”
“Yes. Last night, pretty much like the first one.”
“Pretty much?”
“You know, a little time and some pharmaceutical assistance would help. I don’t want to keep you from your family.”
“Details, Ebenezer. Every dirty detail.”
He sighed. This was a horrible idea. The woman was squeezing him like a sponge. But he felt better. Well, maybe not better. More… empty. Was that it?
“I was sleeping this time,” he said. “When he came.”
“He?”
“The monster, the person. The thing.”
“Where?”
Eb described the Skeye™ dome in great detail. The joy he’d felt at such a creation would forever be tainted with the memory of the dreadlock man. That was the real bummer.
“And then what?” she interrupted.
He lost track of how long he’d been sitting there, the memory of the journey sweeping him back into the experience like metal shavings to a junkyard magnet. He shook his head like a wet dog, shedding the sticky thoughts. This wasn’t why he called her. In fact, it was the exact opposite.
“More of the same,” he said.
“The stretchy bug man?”
“Mm-mmm. Can we wrap this up? I’m a little tired and your family is waiting. What do you think about the medicine?”
She tipped her head and turned on the X-ray vision. He turned his shoulder, like that would block it. The problem was that his emotions weren’t showing on his insides. They were etched on his face.
“Would you like to share any more about the second dream?”
“No.”
It was too real, too immediate. What if she told him to call Jerri, see what she was doing last night? What if it all matched up, that she really drove a van over to Rick’s house? What if Carol really said that in the kitchen, said he was an “awful small man,” that he should be “loathed and pitied”?
Is that what I am, small and awful?
He knew the answer.
“What do you want from me?” The doctor cupped both hands around the mug. The coffee was definitely cold.
“I’m pretty sure I made that clear.”
“You want medicine, sure. To do what?”
“To feel good, to forget… look, we’ve been through this—”
“Why do you want to forget?”
“To feel good. Are you charging by the minute?”
“Your dreams have something to tell you,” she said.
“You said that.”
“They touched a nerve. Perhaps when Jacob died, it set off something in your subconscious. You never got to say goodbye, perhaps? Were there things left unsaid between the two of you?”
“Nooo,” he drawled, “everything definitely got said.”
There was the bit about Jacob appearing in his room, the mysterious matter in which the girls appeared. Eb decided to leave that out of the conversation because this session was already too long. And expensive.
“If you think about it,” she said, “it was almost a year after Jacob died that you had the first dream, right at midnight when you uttered the word humbug.”
“I didn’t tell you that.”
“What does that mean to you? Humbug.”
“Seriously, I didn’t tell you about that.”
“The droid told me when he called.” She took a sip. “The one you call Dum-dum. I insisted on knowing the details before accepting your call, Ebenezer. I expected you would be elusive.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re getting the story from that dummy? Listen, this breaks therapist-patient confidentiality rules and you know it. I can have your license.”
She chuckled behind her mug, her dark-lined eyes squinting with amusement. “What does humbug mean to you, Ebenezer?”
“You think it’s a magic word? Is that where you’re going with this, that it summons the boogeyman from beneath the bed or in the—”
Closet.
He was going to say closet but remembered the noise under the girls’ bed and cookies in the closet, the damp spots on the carpet.
He swallowed a rising knot.
“What does it mean to you?” she asked again.
“What do you think it means?” Two could play the question game.
She thought for a moment, cuddling that stupid coffee mug. “Perhaps it means nothing, but I think you’ve assigned some meaning to it.”
“Tip of the iceberg sort of thing. Smart.”
“I suggest you investigate what the word means to you, Ebenezer. See how it feels, what’s underneath it, at the root. You had dreams about the future and present. I suspect your next dream will take you to the past, and that’s where you should dig. The past builds the future, but it’s all really happening now. This moment.”
“The present.” Eb narrowed his eyes, tapping his chin. “I didn’t tell you the dream was about the present. What’s going on here, Doctor?”
“The droid, Ebenezer. And stop calling him Dum-dum. He serves you.”
“We’re done. I’ve given you enough time and money. The prescription, please?”
“To forget?”
“That’s the idea.”
“I think you want to remember, Ebenezer. That’s why you’re having these dreams. You want to resolve whatever’s lurking in your past, that’s manifesting in your future. You must go through it to resolve it, but first you must find it. Your past will help you.”
“No medicine? Is that what I’m hearing?”
“You don’t strike me as a joyful person, Ebenezer. Medicine isn’t going to change that.”
“This is a waste of time.” He shot onto his feet. “Humbug!”
The room didn’t tremor; the light didn’t dim. Eb, however, did cringe until he was certain nothing had happened.
“See?” he said. “Nothing. Go drink your eggnog, Doctor. Bye.”
“There is one way to change your future, Ebenezer.”
“I know, give up dairy. Goodbye. Have a nice life.”
“You don’t have to die in that golden room.” She leaned over the desk, her face swelling to titanic proportions, the goddess lips grinning.
“Just destroy the Skeye™ dome.”
TWENTY
~
Second level. East wing.
The sun had breached the distant mountains. Shadows stretched across the valley. Eb coasted into the room that was just above the film room. This one smelled of chlorine.
The corner walls were thick glass from floor to ceiling. The room cantilevered from the castle, enough to bring a toe-curling, gut-clenching sense of vertigo when he stood too close to the glass. For that reason, he rarely came to this room.
That and the exercise equipment.
Rows of ellipticals and rowing machines and stationary bicycles and treadmills faced the glass wall, their seats gleaming with Armor All polish. Television monitors hung obsolete from the ceiling, their black panels collecting dust. Jazz played softly, the kind heard at a café in the French Quarter.
At the far end of the room, the droid was bent over a bubbling Jacuzzi. Eb sped past the section of free weights and nearly hit the kneeling droid.
“How was your appointment, sir?”
“Don’t talk to me.”
The droid looked up, unsurprised. His gray skinwrap was moist with chlorinated vapor, beads clinging to his face like perspiration.
“I seriously doubt she has a degree,” Eb said. “I’m considering having her investigated for malpractice or fraudulent representation. Have the lawyers look into it.”
“I don’t believe that’s something we can—”
“I said don’t talk.”
He drove around the hot tub. He had left the film room and toured the Castle hallways for nearly an hour. By the time he finished the cruise, he had come to the conclusion that she was an idiot.
Just destroy the Skeye™ dome. His deathbed was in the Great Room below the Skeye™ dome. One day he would knock out the ceiling and connect the two, and that was where he would die alone. And Dr. Chase figured if he destroyed the Skeye™ dome, then it wouldn’t happen and he wouldn’t die alone.
Brilliant!
She was trying to ruin him. They all were. He didn’t exactly know who they were, but it was true. No one liked the people at the top.
“Talking makes things worse.” Eb climbed off the Segway. “Nothing good came of it. I feel worse than I did this morning and that’s impossible.”
“I don’t think—”
Eb snapped his fingers at him. “How could you do this to me? Don’t answer. All I wanted was to feel better and you made it worse. I never should’ve listened to you, never should’ve talked about it. All I wanted was medicine. That’s it. I’m feeling sick and sick people need medicine. You understand? Don’t answer that.”
He collapsed on one knee a bit too forcefully, painful shards biting his thigh. He splashed hot water on his cheeks. The droid handed him a towel and helped him to his feet.
“Are you all right, sir?”
“Do I look all right?”
“You appear malnourished, sir. Have you eaten?”
Of course he hadn’t eaten. His skin felt three times too small for his fat body. He was a grown man squeezing into a child suit. The world was tight, the air was thick and lacked oxygen, the walls too solid.
“Get medicine,” he said. “Nothing that makes me foggy, either. I need to think clearly without fat lips and swollen hands. I want to feel normal again.”
“What is normal, sir?”
“Normal is good. Just do it.”
“May I remind you that acquiring a controlled substance without a prescription is a felony, sir?”
Eb pulled his face out of the towel. “Now? You want to remind me of that now? Get a prescription!”
“Well, I think it would be prudent—”
“I don’t want to hear it! I have a net worth over a billion dollars, you idiot. Do you know what that means? That means I tell you what I want and you get it. That’s the end of it. I have a team of lawyers; I have doctors for every ache and pain. Why I listened to you this morning with the quack… I must be losing my mind.”
That was indisputable.
He hung the towel over his shoulder. This dreaming business was picking at the loose strands of his sanity. When he woke in the Skeye™ dome, he couldn’t think clearly. That was what happened, that was why he took the droid’s suggestion to speak with Jacob’s life coach.
