Pucks, Sticks and a New Barn, page 1
Pucks, Sticks, and a New Barn
THE BELLEVUE BULLIES SERIES
TONI ALEO
Copyright © 2023 by Toni Aleo
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Editing: Silently Correcting Your Grammar: Lisa Hollett - AS ALWAYS, THANK YOU!
Proofer: Jenny Raden - THANK YOU!
Cover: Care Dee - THANK YOU!
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Introduction
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Contents
Pucks, Sticks, and a New Barn
1. I’m Sorry
2. Bullshit
3. Family Time
4. Growth is Change
5. Here We Go
6. A New Barn for the Sinclairs
Also by Toni Aleo
About Toni Aleo
Pucks, Sticks, and a New Barn
A Jayden and Baylor Short Story
By Toni Aleo
CHAPTER 1
I’m Sorry
Baylor
I’ve been mentally and physically dreading this appointment.
The boys are with Mom and Dad—yes, I still find it weird that my dad married my husband’s mom, but it’s been a while now, so I need to just accept it and move on. Still, weird, but it’s great because the boys love being with their grandparents. I guess I could have left them at the house alone. Dawson is old enough to keep an eye on Louis, but I feel as if maybe Jayden and I might need some time alone.
To accept.
To grieve.
I’ve watched my strong, resilient husband fight against his injuries. Though, when the dreadful and terrifying injury happened, I think I knew he’d never play again. It was such a freak fucking accident, one I am still very upset about. The Nashville Assassins, the team Jayden captains, were playing the Jets. He was positioned behind the goal, waiting for his team to set up with new players after a line change. He’d done it tons of times, no big deal, except one of the Jets’ forwards felt he could pick off the puck.
The player rushed Jayden, much to his surprise, so Jayden went to defend, but the toe of his skate got caught in the back of the net. His leg stayed stuck, while his body went the other direction, snapping his knee. That wasn’t the worst of it, though. When he fell, he fell right into the forward’s knee, face first, shattering his nose, knocking out his front teeth, and receiving a concussion. To add insult to injury, the Jets scored while my husband lay on the ice, blood and teeth in his gloves.
It was traumatizing, to say the least.
Especially for the boys.
That was a little over fifteen months ago, and while his knee and nose have healed and he has new front teeth, he still can’t kick the effects of concussion. He’s been having terrible migraines, and the prescriptions have been working, but I know doctors are fearful of another concussion. I was terrified when I found out this wasn’t his first.
Instead, it was his sixth. Since childhood.
Don’t get me wrong; concussions are a part of all sports. It happens. But even as a female hockey player, I’ve only had one, and I played with boys all my life. Broken bones—a lot of those—but thankfully, I didn’t suffer the head injuries like Jayden has. It’s all so frustrating and scary, especially since now they seem to have caught up with him.
The doctor looks over the scans of Jayden’s last CT. I hold Jayden’s hand in both of mine as he rubs his thumb along the inside of my left wrist. I gaze at his profile as he watches the doctor, visibly on pins and needles. He wants so badly to be released. He wants to be on the ice with his team. He goes to practice and even works out with the guys, but not being on the ice makes him feel as if he isn’t on the team. I get it since I had to medically retire after just one year in the NHL. I shattered my knee during a game, and they told me I’d never play again. It took a long three years, but I proved them wrong. I didn’t make it back to the NHL, but I did win a gold medal in the Olympics in women’s hockey.
I still haven’t decided whether that’s better than a Stanley Cup.
But all that doesn’t matter; I needed to focus on Jayden. I know I’m just scared, and that’s why I’m lost in my thoughts. I want nothing more than for Jayden to be healthy and happy. He’s been so hard on himself. Borderline depressed. When I noticed, I started encouraging him to go to therapy. He listened, and we stayed ahead of it. Together. Like we always have.
God, he is the love of my life.
I found him early in life, and just as I was on the day I met him while on vacation in Florida, I am still completely and utterly attracted to him. I’d played hockey with boys for as long as I could remember, but when I played against Jayden, I knew it was different. I wasn’t playing to win; I was playing to impress him. I wanted him and knew he was my future. Now, with two kids and many years of marriage behind us, I’ve never been more in love with him than I am now.
His dark hair is longer these days, curling around his ears and neck. Both boys have longer hair and wanted their dad to match them. I’m not used to it. I’m used to the clean sides and trim top, but I have to admit, he’s gorgeous either way. His eyes are still such a devastating green that capture my heart every time they lock on me. He’s still so lean and strong. Even now, when I know he’s scared out of his mind, he sits with such confidence.
My forever.
I tuck his hair behind his ear, and he meets my gaze, a tight smile on his lips. It’s okay, I mouth. He nods. Though, I know he knows I know it’s not. He lifts our hands and kisses the back of mine just as the doctor clears her throat.
She doesn’t look at us, but our gazes are like razors as they cut to her.
Dr. Lothrop doesn’t look happy, and I know she’s about to ruin my husband’s life. She is one of the top sports doctors in Nashville, Tennessee. She’s on the younger side, but she graduated very early as a teen. Her glasses sit low on the end of her nose as she uses her pen to outline the front of Jayden’s temporal lobe on the scan. I know what she’s indicating because I’ve watched her do this many times.
“Mr. Sinclair, I’m sorry to have to say this, but there is still damage to your brain, which is why you continue to have the migraines and the balance issues.” He grips my hands tightly in his. Her gaze moves from the screen to us. “I know this isn’t the answer you want, but in my opinion, you should not continue your career as a hockey player. There is too much risk of doing more damage and causing more extensive injury to your brain.”
She says more—hell, she doesn’t stop talking for over fifteen minutes—but all I can do is watch Jayden. His breathing has sped up, his eyes are glassy, and his jaw is so damn taut. I know he is replaying the injury in his head, or maybe he’s even thinking that everything he has ever known is gone. He comes from a hockey family. His eldest sister is the wife of a retired hockey player, and their daughter is engaged to an up-and-coming hockey player. His eldest brother plays for Tampa, and his youngest plays for Fort Lauderdale. Hockey is all Jayden knows, and I know he’s scared. But he isn’t alone.
I’m by his side, and I’ll do everything to remind him he’s more than just a hockey player.
He’s everything to me.
When he looks up at me, I smile confidently and squeeze his hand. “It’s okay. Everything is great. We’re going to be great. Together.”
His lips tip up at the sides. “I never thought you’d have to use my words against me.”
My smile grows, remembering the moment he told me the same when I was riddled with injuries. “Hey, you were right, and I will be too.”
He leans his head into mine, and our lips touch lightly. “Thank you, Bay.”
I kiss him once more. “Always, Jay.”
CHAPTER 2
Bullshit
Jayden
I know Baylor knew I was done when I got injured. She never said it, but I can read her like a book. She’s so intuitive. And while she’s been supportive and uplifting throughout this, I know she did it out of love, not because she believed I’d come back. I think I knew too, which is how I’m able to keep the tears at bay. In all honesty, I cried enough when everything first happened and the migraines started. I think that’s when I grieved my career.
When I knew I wouldn’t be my boys’ hero anymore.
As we walk out of the clinic, with paperwork for my next appointment and a new treatment plan along with prescriptions, I FaceTime my brothers. I know they’re both gearing up for a new season, and I don’t expect them to answer. But they both knew I had this appointment. It’s a blessing that I grew up with my best friends. Jude and Jace are my ride or dies, and not once did we consider I would be done. We all figured we’d retire at the same time and enjoy being old and crusty together.
I got old and crusty first.
When their faces come up, both of them radiating concern through the screen, my stomach drops. I don’t want to tell them.
“So? What did she say?” Jude asks first.
“You good? You heading back?” Jace asks then. My niece Ashlyn sits in his lap, reading a book. She’s a bookworm and fucking cute as a button. She wants to be an author, which makes sens
“Hey, baby girl,” I call to her.
She grins at me. She is the spitting image of our older sister, Lucy. “Hi, Uncle Jay. Hi, Uncle Jude.”
Jude waves. “Hey, Ash.”
“How’s Aunt Claire? When’s the baby coming?”
He smiles proudly. “She’s doing great, and very soon. A couple weeks, I think. You excited to find out what it is?”
She nods. “I think it’s a girl.”
We all grin, Jude most of all. “Man, I hope so!”
Jace picks her up then and whispers something in her ear before getting up. “Sorry, what’s up? I need to know.”
I exhale heavily as the boys look back at me. Baylor holds my hand in support. “I’m done.”
Jace shakes his head as Jude’s shoulders fall. “Fuck, man. I’m sorry.”
“Such bullshit,” Jace says, and I nod.
“Yeah, I’m not okay. But I will be.”
Jace nods. “Hey, this could be a good thing. Gives you time with the boys through the years they need you most. You could coach their teams, like how you used to do for Shea Adler when Angie was little.”
I nod. I hadn’t thought of that.
“No matter what, Jay, you’re still the best hockey player ever. So, no worries. Now, you get to be a full-time dad and husband,” Jude adds. “But it’s still bullshit.”
“Straight bullshit,” Jace agrees. “But Jude is right. You’ll go down in history as the youngest captain of the Assassins and the second-best defensemen after Shea Adler.”
I love my brothers. I nod as I smile. “Thanks, guys.”
“I love you, dude. I’m sorry,” Jude says. “Y’all can come down here. Stay for a bit?”
Jace loves this idea. “Fuck yeah. We’ll drive up and spend some time at Jude’s mansion.”
Baylor nods, popping her head in. “We would love that. Let’s get home, tell the boys and Mom and Dad, and get our ducks in a row.”
“Love you, Bay,” Jude says. “You’re a great wife.”
She nods. “Love you too. Thank you.”
“Love y’all,” Jace says, and we share the sentiment before hanging up.
I look at Baylor, and she nods. “They’re right, you know. You’re already a great dad—just think how it’s going to be now that you’ll be around full time?”
I nod, unable to share in the excitement of that. Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and I love being a dad, but all I know is hockey. It’s terrifying knowing my career is over, but I won’t allow myself to fall into a hole about this. Everyone is right; I’m going to be great. It’s what we Sinclairs do. I’ll coach the kids or maybe play in a no-contact men’s rec league. There are options. I have options. I’m still alive and walking.
I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
When we get home, I get out of the truck and look up at the home Baylor and I bought once we signed on with the Assassins. It’s a very modern home, minimalist style, with big-ass windows and lots of wood planks everywhere. Our door doesn’t just open. It slides, automatically. It’s basically a house from The Jetsons. We love it. Especially since it’s on a two-acre corner lot with no one around us. Makes for great pool parties because no one gets upset. Inside, we have six bedrooms. The top floor has three, and that is where our room and the kids’ are. Downstairs is an office for Baylor and two guest rooms. We usually house a single hockey player when they first arrive to play for the Assassins, giving them a place to stay until they get on their feet, or when my brothers or my mom stay.
It’s a great house that we’ve made a home.
I lock the truck door as we head inside. Baylor hasn’t said much, probably allowing me to gather my thoughts and prepare to steer the conversation. We are able to read each other after all these years, which only proves I was right from the jump that she was the one for me. Man, she gave me a run for my money, but she was damn well worth the fight. I wrap my arm around her waist, bringing her in close as I kiss her jaw.
She leans into me, her eyes studying mine. “How you feeling?”
“I think I’m a little in shock about it all.”
“Yeah,” she agrees. “Maybe a vacation to see Jude and Jace and the kids before our kids start school again is a good idea. It’ll be nice to get away.”
“Maybe. I gotta tie up some loose ends, and I’ll need to clean out my locker and shit.”
She makes a face. “I feel like that can wait.”
I shrug as I reach for the button to open the door. I know she probably thinks I want to rip the Band-Aid off as fast as I can, and I guess I do. It took her a month to clean out her locker when she had to retire. I can’t do that; I can’t wait that long. As much as I don’t want to accept my career is over, I can’t drag this out. It is what it is. I gotta keep moving.
Before I can push the button, though, Baylor stops me. “We are great, Jayden, but it’s okay to mourn this.”
“I think I already have been,” I admit, meeting her gaze. “It’s been fifteen months, Baylor. I’ve made progress, but not enough, not fast enough.”
She visibly swallows. “I don’t want you to hurt.”
“It’s hard to hurt when I’m loved so completely by such an incredible wife and sons,” I remind her, kissing her nose. “I just gotta find my new thing.”
Before she can stop me, I push the button, and the door slides open. As we enter, the first picture I see of is Baylor and me, her holding her gold medal and me holding my silver at the last Winter Olympics, as we kiss happily with the kids standing in front of us. Man, what a ride that was. We had such a blast and made so many awesome memories. Especially since Jude and Jace competed as well, so the whole tribe was there. I swear, we had the loudest cheering section. We were considering going for the next set of Olympics, but I don’t think Baylor wants to go without me. I hope she does if she’s asked. I know we’ll go with her, and I’m sure Jude and Jace will play too.
Hopefully soon, we’ll go for our kids.
Speaking of our kids, Dawson comes around the corner first. At fourteen, the kid is massive. He’s taller than me and builds muscle like Baylor. He is the spitting image of Baylor but with my darker features, while Louis is me made over. On cue, Louis shows up right behind his brother, growing like a damn weed. He’s already at eye level with me, which is annoying. I don’t know what the kids eat, but they’re going to make some great defensemen one day.
Or great football players. They do both.
My mom and River, her husband and my father-in-law, bring up the rear, all of them awaiting the verdict.
Dawson meets my gaze, and his shoulders fall almost immediately. I don’t know how, but he knows. He comes to me, hugging me tightly. And, mirroring his brother, Louis does the same. I hug my boys and fight back the tears.
“I’m retiring,” I say, mostly to our parents, and within seconds, my mom’s eyes start to fill with tears. I tap the boys’ backs, and they both look up at me. “But it’s fine. I’ll be able to coach your teams and take you to school. I know for a fact that I won’t miss any more art shows, Lou. And I’ll even learn a bit about football and maybe coach that.”
When I notice that Louis has started crying, I hold him closer as Dawson exhales hard. “I’m sorry, Dad. That sucks, but I’m glad you’ll be home.”
“Me too,” I admit, hugging him tighter. “Also, we’re going to go see Uncle Jude and Uncle Jace!”
The boys light up almost instantly. “Really?”
“Really. Probably leave tomorrow. I’ll look at flights.”
It’s not much, but it’s a welcome distraction from sending an email to Elli Adler about what the doctor said. She’ll want to talk, and I’m nowhere near ready for that. How do you tell the woman who believed in you so greatly that you can’t captain her team? I don’t know, and I’m not sure I’m ready to figure it out.
