Herald of Shalia 2, page 29
“I certainly can’t,” Slade volunteer.
“They’re only Arachne,” a soldier spoke up immediately. “It’s not like they’re…”
“Oh,” Slade stifled his laugh while knowingly shaking his head. “Wrong answer you dumb fucking cunt.”
Frost focused his energy into his blade and within a few moments he dashed through the soldiers cutting them to pieces. It felt like a tower of pots and pans fell to the ground as their bloody armor-clad bits landed on the bloodsoaked pavement. The villager’s screamed and backed away from him.
“They were surrendering,” a woman cried while backing up toward a house. “You killed soldiers that were surrendering.”
“I executed prisoners for attempting to murder innocent children,” Frost scoffed while staring at the villagers. “Do you really expect me to feed and house prisoners who attempted to kill children?”
“They weren’t even given a trial,” a merchant said. “Even the Ziran’s give them trials.”
“Oh,” Frost nodded. “I suppose it’s a little late but I find them all guilty of attempting to murder children and sentence them to death. Better?”
“It’ll play better if we all agree that happened the other way around,” Slade smiled viciously while waiting for another villager to speak up. “Unless somebody wants to argue?”
“N-no,” a villager said. “No arguments here.”
“Herald Frost,” Lysandra said irritably. The white-haired priestess was staring at him judgmentally while wearing a pouty expression. “I believe we have no further business here.”
“Sure,” Frost said while heading back toward the wagon. He made the mistake of glancing down at his blood-drenched wife again and tried not to gag. “Fuck, Lysandra. I don’t want to be mean but…”
“I’ll clean her up,” Lysandra nodded while cringing at the mess. “Don’t worry.”
“Thanks,” Frost said patting Lysandra’s head. “Let’s get out of here.”
“You’re just going to let these cunts off?” Slade gestured at the civilians. “I mean,” Slade pointed at one of the well-dressed merchants. “You can’t tell me that cunt deserves to live. Just look at him. You know he knew what was going on. Hell, half those soldiers deserved it less than that fuck probably does!”
“What do you want me to do? Sit here and fucking interrogate thousands of people?” Frost answered while gesturing at the village. “I’m sure Asmund will hear about it. It’s his mess to clean up and I don’t care if he decides to crucify everybody in this city. It’s not my problem.”
“Crucify?” Lysandra and the others glanced at each other confused.
“Never mind,” Frost shook his head. “Don’t need to be introducing that to the world. Just know it’s a type of execution.
“But…” Slade grumbled while pointing at several different well-dressed men. “Really?
“Hm,” Frost thought it through as he climbed onto Witch’s back. He’d executed a slew of foot soldiers but even Edmund was just a lackey for the Prophet Owen. It was likely that rumors were going to spread about the Herald of Shalia murdering followers of Riliandra in cold blood at the behest of the usurper or some nonsense. “Right. But it’s just a lot of work and I’ll feel bad if I kill an innocent one.”
“You’ll feel bad?” Slade snarled. “You soft fucking cunt.”
“I literally just butchered a bunch of unarmed prisoners!” Frost gestured at the pile of body parts in the square. “How am I soft?”
“It’s okay handsome,” Brynn glared at Slade. “Some of us like your softer side.”
“A pile of corpses,” Frost shook his head in disbelief. “Right there. And I’m soft? This fucking world. Really wish that bitch would have given me a manual or some shit.”
“Bitch?” Lysandra glared at him. “Who are you talking about Frost?”
“Shalia obviously,” Frost said as he patted Witch’s neck to start moving.
“You can’t call our goddess that!” Renna said angrily.
“Yeah!” Ena agreed. “Don’t talk bad about the goddess.”
“Raise your hand if you actually met the bitch,” Frost raised his hands while the elves scowled at him. “That’s what I thought. I’ll call her what I want. Anyway, let’s get the hell out of here.”
“I can’t believe you’re letting them off,” Slade glared at the nobleman.
“You have to learn to let things go Slade,” Frost chuckled. “I can either sit here for a month interviewing and executing or go home to a nice warm bath and a bedroom full of elves. I’m sure Asmund will figure it out.”
“Fuck,” Slade grumbled as he hopped back on his horse. “These fuckers will grow back if you don’t pull them out by the fucking roots.”
“Not my garden, not my problem,” Frost replied. “Now let’s get the fuck out of here.”
CHAPTER 23
They decided to avoid the main roads for the remainder of the journey just in case the followers of Riliandra planned another ambush. It was probably unnecessary but Frost didn’t want any more surprises. But there was one more surprise waiting for Frost at his territory’s border.
A small encampment populated with children from the village, some Ziran soldiers, and Commander Grey was set up right outside the forest. The tired old man was sitting on a log eating a sandwich while the soldiers and children played games. The commander looked up and shook his head as Frost approached with his new Arachne followers.
“You know,” Commander Grey glanced at the Arachne and shivered before turning his focus to Desdemona’s long dark horns. “I want to ask, but I don’t.”
“She’s my wife,” Frost said gesturing at Desdemona. “Desdemona, this is Commander Grey, Ambassador to Zira.”
“Hello,” Desdemona said timidly. “Shouldn’t we call him Ambassador Grey then? Or is his name commander?”
“Might as well be,” Brynn said reassuringly.
“What are you doing out here?” Frost asked as the elf children rushed to greet Lysandra and the others. “Is something wrong?”
“You have a very nice village,” Chasa said politely as she approached Frost. She looked worriedly at the tents the soldiers had set up. “It’s a very beautiful forest, lovely land, and you’ve built some very nice structures.”
“Very nice,” Slakka agreed while joining him at the front. The half-asleep Arachne stared at the large tent with pity-filled eyes. “But would you mind terribly if we made some alterations? We could increase the size, stability, insulation…”
“This isn’t my village,” Frost laughed as he realized they were trying to be polite. “My village is in the forest. I’m trying to find out why Commander Grey is camped out here with his men.”
“Oh,” Chasa let out a relieved sigh while signaling a bunch of worried Arachne that everything was fine. “Sorry for interrupting.”
“My wife will probably have to answer your question,” Commander Grey grumbled while letting out a frustrated sigh. “I’m not entirely sure myself if I’m being honest. I woke up a few days ago to my wife shouting for me and the soldiers to get out of the village and take the children with me.”
“Oh no,” Lysandra said worriedly. “Poor Lady Grey.”
“Why poor Lady Grey?” Frost glanced at the snowy-haired priestess. “What’s going on? I thought purges only happened yearly.”
“It’s not a purge,” Lysandra said timidly.
“Are we rebelling again?” Renna asked excitedly while tugging at Fayeth’s arm. “Are we finally going to oust that cruel old bitch?”
“That cruel old bitch has been with us this entire trip,” Ena said while gesturing at Lysandra. “Or have you forgotten?”
“Cruel old bitch? Rebelling?” Desdemona looked around nervously at the excited elves. “Are they talking about you Lady Lysandra?”
“Must you really refer to me that way?” Lysandra let out an exhausted sigh. “I do my best to make everybody happy but I can’t solve all the problems.”
“Oh!” Fayeth laughed excitedly. “They must be rebelling against Lady Grey!”
“Fine! Let’s oust that cruel old bitch!” Renna yelled confidently. “It’ll be great practice for ousting the other cruel old bitch!”
“Down with the cruel old bitch!” Fayeth joined in cheerfully.
“Are your girls calling my wife a cruel old bitch Herald Frost?” Commander Grey sighed. “I mean, I get it but she’s still my wife.”
“Renna, Fayeth,” Frost scolded the two elves. “Be nice.”
“Fine,” Renna grumbled. “Down with Lady Grey!”
“Down with the commander’s wife!” Fayeth happily joined in.
“Oust the evil Lady Grey!” Lysandra joined in happily.
“Lysandra,” Frost glared at the beautiful amethyst-eyed priestess. “You too?”
“This is the first time I get to join the rebellion!” Lysandra said with pleading eyes. “Normally I’m the one they’re trying to get rid of!”
“Anyway,” Commander Grey said while gesturing at the forest. “I’m sure my wife and daughter will be happy to see you if you want to head on over. Just send word when it’s alright for us to come back.”
“Herald Frost,” Chasa tapped his shoulder while gesturing at the other Arachne. “Do you need assistance in quelling this rebellion?”
“I’ll be fine,” Frost laughed. “I doubt it’s a real rebellion. In the meantime, you can all set up camp wherever you want. We’ll try to figure out the housing situation once things settle down if that’s okay.”
“Anywhere?” Chasa said while staring hungrily at the large lush forest. “Can we really set up wherever we want?”
“Of course,” Frost laughed while pulling out a piece of parchment. He started drawing a map and marked the types of monsters in each area as well as their levels before handing it to Chasa. “This should help you choose a place and feel free to come to the village whenever you’re settled in.”
“We’re allowed in the village?” Slakka yawned as if the words were barely registering. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Frost gestured at Brynn. “They may be a little weird about it at first but if they’re around you enough they’ll get used to it. Just look at Brynn. She hasn’t scratched herself all day.”
“Thanks for reminding me,” Brynn said sarcastically.
“Can we play with the elves?” an Arachne child asked while tugging on Slakka’s arm. “Can we?”
“Herald Frost?” Slakka glanced at him hopefully.
“Commander,” Frost gestured at the Arachne children. “Do you mind keeping an eye on the Arachne children while the adults get everything set up? They don’t speak the language or anything.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Sir Isaac said while firing water blasts at children hiding behind Sir Adamus. The large holy knight deflected them with his barrier. “It’s fine. Do they mind water?”
“Can they play in water?” Frost asked Slakka.
“Of course,” Slakka answered. “But they can’t swim.”
“It’s fine but they can’t swim,” Frost repeated to Sir Isaac.
“Obviously,” the spellblade laughed while gesturing at the holy knights spread out in the field. “The game is simple. Everybody starts in the middle and when I count to three, I start to cast water spells. The goal is to touch every holy knight without getting hit. They’ll put up barriers when you’re by them. First one to touch them all wins.”
Frost explained the game to the Arachne children while holding up his fingers to signify the count. The fifty children skittered to the middle of the field and the holy knights instantly looked uncomfortable.
“Think of it as training boys,” Sir Adamus laughed as the knights trembled. “Pressure’s on to act normal.”
“Has the number of knights here increased?” Brynn asked suspiciously. “Shouldn’t they be in Blackwater?”
“Oh,” Commander Grey laughed. “Yeah, the investigation doesn’t seem to be going well. Anybody connected to me is suspended but now they’re suspending people connected to people I’m connected with. Until they find a scapegoat for the prince’s death it seems they plan on blaming the soldiers.”
“So, you just invited them all here?” Frost asked.
“You said you wanted the village protected,” Commander Grey chuckled. “And since it’s my fault they’re suspended and they all have families to feed I felt obligated to help out a bit.”
“Slade,” Brynn glared at the silver-haired ninja. “You should let Fiora know this is getting out of hand…”
“Not her idea,” Slade pointed at the sky. “Order came down from the king himself. I mean, your dog-fucking husband did kill one of his sons.”
“Why aren’t we joining the rebellion yet!” Renna said angrily while pointing at the forest as Lysandra scrawling notes on a piece of parchment.
“Demand number one,” Lysandra read happily. “Herald Frost must immediately marry the high priestess.”
“That’s supposed to be demand number two!” Renna said trying to snatch the parchment. “What number am I?”
“Can I demand that Herald Frost lay with me again?” Desdemona asked while looking over Lysandra’s shoulder.
“We’re not wasting a demand on something that’s bound to happen anyway,” Fayeth laughed. “But maybe we should demand he lays with Ena.”
“Make whatever demands you want,” Ena blushed while attempting to hide a smile. “But I won’t let him.”
“Well,” Frost laughed as the elves fought. “Better figure out what’s going on.”
The Arachne and their children initially seemed anxious around the soldiers but after a few splashes of water they settled down. After that the queens and several high-level Arachne skittered into the forest to look for places to set up camp.
Frost, the elves, and his wives rode to the village and they didn’t hear any riots or fighting. Instead the first sound he heard was the normal day to day banter of the elves along with some laughter. It wasn’t until they exited the trees and arrived outside the stone wall of the village the he realized it was more of a protest than a rebellion.
“Herald Frost!” Robin and Marina rushed to greet them at the gate. “You’re back!”
Frost stared at the two naked women as they stood at the entrance of the village. They looked at him as if nothing was out of the ordinary. His eyes drifted down to Marina’s trimmed azure bush and Robin’s clean-shaven mound. The pink-haired elf cleared her throat as she caught Frost staring.
“Herald Frost!” Shael waived as she emerged from her house. Several other naked elves followed and soon the entire village was standing outside of the gate.
“Frost!” Jasmine said practically tripping over herself as she ran toward them. Frost was a little disappointed to see the naked Myrran had gotten rid of most of her tan lines. “We’ve been having so much fun while you’ve been gone!”
“We’re rebels!” Iris said jumping up and down excitedly. Frost’s eyes followed the Florenne’s large chest with each beautiful bounce.
“I missed you so much!” Zinnia’s tale wagged excitedly. The naked dog-eared woman’s eyes darted to each of the elves on the wagon. “Lysandra! I missed you so much! Renna! I missed you so much! Ena! I missed you so much! Fayeth! I missed you so much! You were gone so long I thought you were never coming back!”
“Herald Frost,” Desdemona looked at the villagers and then her own gown. Her face turned red as she came to her own conclusion. “Do you require us to live without clothing?”
“I mean,” Frost shrugged as more and more elves showed up completely naked. It seemed even a few of Madam Gardenia’s courtesans were visiting and decided to join in. “I wouldn’t say I require it. I’m certainly enjoying it.”
“Of course you are,” Brynn laughed while rolling her eyes at him. “You really know how to make a lady feel special handsome.”
“I knew it!” Lyra said excitedly while gesturing rudely at a tent. “We told that evil old crone that you’d love us no matter what!”
“Exactly!” Lith and Aila said simultaneously. They immediately covered each other while growling at the other elves. “Don’t you look at her! I’ll gouge out your eyes! She’s mine!”
“Herald Frost is looking,” Ena said smugly as the two elves glared at him.
“Hmmm,” Lith said pensively. “He can look.”
“What!” Renna said angrily. “You dumped piss on me for talking to Aila!”
“Well,” Aila nodded at Lith. “We’ve decided that if we want children, we’ll need somebody to help and Herald Frost is naturally the best option.”
“But if anybody else looks I’ll gouge out their eyes!” Lith added while gesturing threateningly at the other elves.
“Okay,” Frost laughed while trying not to be distracted by the crowd of beautiful women. “What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you what’s going on!” Lady Grey approached with Priscilla following close behind. The woman looked mortified beyond belief while Priscilla was struggling to hide her amusement. “These little harlots refuse to wear ladylike clothing! Anything! All I did was tell them to dress and behave like ladies!”
“Oh no,” Lysandra said. “You shouldn’t have done that. Especially during summer. It gets so hot and they get so grumpy.”
“Then do you know what happened?” Lady Grey’s face was completely red with anger as Priscilla desperately tried to stifle her laughter. “They took off their tops and started cussing like soldiers!
“Cunt!”
“Bitch!”
“Worthless dried up cock sheathe!” Lyra added.
“See!” Lady Grey snapped while pointing at Lyra. “A lady should not talk like that!”
“Giant cunted horse!” Callie added as Lyra gave her an approving hug. Frost tried not to get distracted as Lyra winked at him and began discreetly moving her hug lower on Callie.
“She said we’d never get husbands!” Erissa said accusingly. “That no man would ever want us!”
“Oh, no, no, no,” Lysandra said while shaking her head. “You shouldn’t point that out. They can be very sensitive about it.”
