Watch Me, page 23
I gasp.
Without my hands behind my back I can feel the press of his body against mine, hard and soft. So warm.
“I’m warning you,” he says quietly. “You go up the ladder. Then the ties go back on.”
“Okay.”
He releases me. I don’t move.
“What are you waiting for?” he says. “Go.”
Still, I hesitate. “Can I just— Can I turn around for a second?”
“No.”
Blood is rushing to my newly freed arms, my skin prickling as it awakens. Absently, I massage my wrists. “Please,” I whisper. “This is important.”
“If you have something to say, say it. You don’t need to look at me.”
“All right,” I say, bracing myself. “I was going to ask, very politely, whether you might consider letting me go.”
“What?” He stiffens behind me, then laughs, the harsh sound colored by disbelief. “Let you go where?”
“Back to the Ark.”
Now he spins me around himself.
“Are you joking?” he says. The fiery lights cast a warm glow across his face, softening the harshness in his eyes. “Tell me you’re joking, Rosabelle.”
“I’m not joking.”
This seems to hit him like a blow. “After everything you’ve done, you think you can just ask to be sent home? Pretend this never happened? Is that how you usually get out of these situations? You just ask, very politely?”
“That’s not what I meant—”
“I don’t even understand you,” he says. “These people have been torturing you and your sister for years and you’re just going to run back into their arms? You’re going to do whatever they tell you to do for the rest of your life?”
“It’s not what you think,” I say desperately. “I have to go back because I need to fix things. I have a plan, but it’s going to be complicated. Things are so much worse than you know, you don’t understand—”
“Then help me understand,” he says, his voice charged with feeling. “Tell me what’s happening. Tell me what’s going on—”
“I can’t,” I say.
“Why not?” he shoots back.
I’m shaking my head, trying to sort through my own tangled thoughts. I made my decision to eliminate Klaus the moment he threatened to kill Clara.
It’s the only solution to an impossible problem.
Klaus gave me eight weeks to destroy myself and, in the process, torpedo the epicenter of the resistance—which means I have eight weeks to get myself back to the island. Eight weeks to steal back the vial, find Klaus’s tank, drink the earth, launch myself into the waters of his synthetic mind, and hope my decomposing body will detonate the explosion necessary to kill him. It’s the only way to save Clara. It’s the only way to spare the rest of the world a fate like Leon’s. If I can take out Klaus before countless other agents launch their own attacks against The New Republic, I might be able to dismantle the entire system.
But I don’t want anyone to know my plan, because I don’t want anyone to try to stop me.
“I’m just— I’m not used to working with other people,” I manage to get out. “I’m used to doing things on my own, and I don’t know if I can trust your team—”
“Can you trust me?”
This question strikes me through the heart, rendering me silent. James steps somehow closer, his hands loose at his sides. No gun, no zip ties. He is, himself, the greatest weapon against my defenses. In his presence my shields warp, my heart slows, my fears quiet. In his presence my body yields to its original form: ice releasing under sunlight, returning to the sea.
“Rosabelle,” he says. “Do you trust me?”
I look up into his eyes, astonishing myself when I say, softly, “Yes.”
His eyes shut briefly as he exhales, and I watch him swallow as he looks at me, his eyes darkening with a look that leaves me breathless. I feel weak and euphoric this close to him, slightly intoxicated.
“If you trust me,” he whispers, “we can fix this together. If you trust me, everything is simple.”
“It’s not simple,” I say, shaking my head. “Infiltrating the Ark isn’t easy. Their technological advancements are unparalleled. Their surveillance systems are like nothing else on earth—”
“I know, Rosabelle, I’ve been there. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible—”
“No,” I say sharply. “You don’t understand. I know you think you escaped the island on your own, but it—”
“Oh, shit,” James cries, grabbing me suddenly, spinning me away from the ladder. He pins my body against the wall, his back to my front. Guarding me.
I’m still trying to understand what’s happening, my heart hammering, when over his shoulder I finally glimpse it—
The familiar laser line of a sniper.
ROSABELLE
CHAPTER 40
“You know we’ve got cameras down here, right?” calls a voice I’ve never heard before, echoing from above us.
“You can put away the scope, Samuel,” James calls back. “Everything is fine.”
There’s a moment of hesitation. “You’ve been down here a long time, man. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah,” he says. “We’re coming up right now.”
“Great,” says the guy named Samuel. “I’ll wait.”
James sighs, then turns to me, his eyes roving over my face in a quick, heated inspection. “You okay?” he asks quietly.
Two words, like a lead pipe to a pane of glass.
I’d like to curl up inside his shirt and rest. I want to be dropped in his pocket and left to sleep. I want to stand close to him just to be near him. Delusion has consumed me.
“I’m okay,” I say.
He slides a hand around my waist like it’s something we’ve always done, gently guiding me forward, ahead of him, toward the ladder. Then he lifts me into the air like it’s nothing, holding me up until I find my footing on the rungs.
“You okay?” he asks again.
“I’m okay,” I say.
As we approach the top I see the vague outline of a man looming overhead, boots thudding as he paces the landing. He watches me closely as I ascend, his rifle trained on my body at all times.
I pull myself up, deeply aware that I’m not wearing underwear as I disengage inelegantly from the ladder, bare legs scraping slightly against the concrete floor. I get to my feet and Samuel catches me by my collar, body-slamming me against the wall so hard the pain in my ribs flares suddenly back to life. Stars explode behind my eyes. He wrenches my arms behind my back.
I hear James shout “What the hell are you doing?” and Samuel laughs, confused, like the question is a joke, and by the time James hauls himself onto the landing I feel the cold slide of metal against my wrists, the click of bolts fitting together. I’m wearing a pair of heavy manacles that hum with controlled electricity and I feel the static in my teeth, the back of my knees. There’s a metallic taste in my mouth rising by the minute, making me nauseous.
I capture the basics of Samuel’s face as he pulls open the heavy exit door—brown skin, lighter brown eyes—then lose my footing as he shoves me into a blinding hallway, lights buzzing overhead. I stumble forward, unbalanced, and catch myself against a smooth, cold wall, my mind growing fuzzy. My tongue feels rough. Low-level electric currents are coursing through me, fizzing under my skin. I push off the wall, still struggling with my feet when James rushes up behind us saying, “Hey, c’mon, that’s not necessary—”
Samuel holds up a hand to slow him down.
“Bro, are you feeling okay?” he says, and I can hear the frown in his voice.
“What? Yeah, I’m fine—I’m just saying you don’t have to handle her like that—”
“Like what?” Samuel laughs again. “Like a criminal? Like someone who literally disemboweled a man tonight?”
If James responds I can hardly hear it. I’m sinking into myself again, retreating inward, walls rebuilding. I try to push my mind free of this electric cage, but the static is inside my nose, then crackling in my throat, searing behind my eyes, blinding and blinding—
A strangled scream escapes me and I lose my footing again, slamming into another wall before falling to my knees.
“Turn it down,” James explodes. “Don’t you see how small she is? You’re overloading her body—”
The electricity retreats almost at once, returning me slowly to myself. I feel wrung out suddenly. My lungs tight, my mouth dry. My bones trembling.
Then hands on me, under me, and I’m in the air, my cheek against his chest, eyelids fluttering. My blood is fizzing, carbonated. I’m trying to wake up.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” James is saying angrily. “You were torturing her—”
“That was the default setting!” Samuel shoots back. “I’m treating her just like every other piece of shit who comes through here. You’re the one who’s clearly lost his mind. I came out there to help you—”
“I didn’t ask for your help,” he snaps. “Where the hell is Warner?”
“Put her down,” says a cold, familiar voice.
My eyes flicker open. Fear forces me back into my skin, adrenaline pushing my heart to work harder. James slides me carefully out of his arms, helping me stand, but he doesn’t remove his hand from my lower back. I look up into the bright, blinding light, my eyes tearing slightly. We’re at the edge of a common space, an interior quadrangle that anchors the multistory building. I count floors, stunned by the dimensions and the clean white lines. A few people mill about on every open level, moving from place to place.
“Step away from her,” says Warner, moving into my sightline. He’s looking at me, not James, when he says this, and the fury in his green eyes is so cold—so intensely palpable—I’m beginning to understand his reputation.
This man was raised by The Reestablishment. Forged in blood. Just like me.
James doesn’t move. “I need some time,” he says.
Warner turns toward his brother like a rising tide, the movement slow and powerful. “Excuse me?”
“I need more time. I have to talk to her.”
“Your days of talking to her are over. What happens to her from here on out is no longer your concern. Go home.”
“What are you talking about—”
“Go home, James.”
“Look, I know it’s been a crazy night, but there are some developments I need to discuss with you—”
“Developments?” Warner echoes, astonished. “In the time it took you to walk her from a morgue to a penitentiary? Let me guess.” Warner levels me with a look so black it borders on hatred. “She’s opened up to you. Shown remorse. Given you just enough information to make you think you’re special without telling you anything at all.”
“Stop,” James says angrily. “Don’t do this. Everyone around here thinks they have me figured out—”
“I thought she told you her parents were dead.”
At this, I inwardly flinch, and James stiffens beside me.
“Tell him,” Warner says, addressing me directly for the first time. It surprises me how difficult it is to hold his undivided attention. There’s a steel in him so severe it’s disorienting. “Tell him the truth. Are your parents dead?”
I have no idea whether my father is still alive.
Still, the fact that Warner has somehow managed to figure out who I am—that he’s managed to unearth unsavory details of my family history—does not come as a great surprise. After all, my father abandoned his family in order to pledge his allegiance to him.
To this man standing before me.
“My mother is dead,” I say. “My father is dead to me.”
This earns me something like a smile. “Take her away,”
Warner says. “Tell Hugo we’ll begin in the morning.”
I go suddenly still.
Warner is watching me for a reaction, and I realize only then that I’ve been expertly outmaneuvered.
Hugo.
I don’t resist when I’m hauled away by rough hands, my mind surging with panic.
Surveillance is security, Rosa. Only criminals need privacy.
“Hey— Wait—”
But, Papa, I don’t want strangers to watch me all the time—that sounds awful—
James takes a step toward me on instinct, falling back only when his brother claps him, hard, on the shoulder.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter what we want, Rosa. Sometimes we don’t know what’s best for us. Sometimes a child wants to touch the fire just to feel it burn. If we want to protect the child, we have to teach him to obey.
I haven’t seen my father in ten years.
Hugo, sweetheart, can you ask Rosa to come here, please? She keeps ripping the blossoms off my roses—
I look back at James as they take me away, my thoughts unspooling in alarm. His eyes are burning, ablaze with feeling, and I try to hold on to this image of him, committing the details to memory. I don’t even think to struggle as I’m shoved forward, then dragged around a corner. This is not the time for action. There are dark days ahead of me. Long nights awaiting me. I need a place to rest my head, a place to sort my thoughts, a place to make my plans.
Prison will do just fine.
OTHER BOOKS BY
The Woven Kingdom Series
This Woven Kingdom
These Infinite Threads
All This Twisted Glory
The Shatter Me Series
Shatter Me
Unravel Me
Ignite Me
Restore Me
Defy Me
Imagine Me
Novellas
Destroy Me
Fracture Me
Shadow Me
Reveal Me
Believe Me
Novella Collections
Unite Me
Find Me
The Shatter Me Series: The New Republic
Watch Me
An Emotion of Great Delight
A Very Large Expanse of Sea
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CONTENTS
Title Page
Copyright
Note to Readers
Epigraph
Chapter 1: Rosabelle
Chapter 2: Rosabelle
Chapter 3: James
Chapter 4: James
Chapter 5: Rosabelle
Chapter 6: Rosabelle
Chapter 7: James
Chapter 8: Rosabelle
Chapter 9: Rosabelle
Chapter 10: Rosabelle
Chapter 11: James
Chapter 12: James
Chapter 13: Rosabelle
Chapter 14: Rosabelle
Chapter 15: Rosabelle
Chapter 16: Rosabelle
Chapter 17: Rosabelle
Chapter 18: James
Chapter 19: James
Chapter 20: James
Chapter 21: Rosabelle
Chapter 22: Rosabelle
Chapter 23: James
Chapter 24: James
Chapter 25: James
Chapter 26: Rosabelle
Chapter 27: Rosabelle
Chapter 28: James
Chapter 29: James
Chapter 30: James
Chapter 31: Rosabelle
Chapter 32: Rosabelle
Chapter 33: James
Chapter 34: Rosabelle
Chapter 35: Rosabelle
Chapter 36: Rosabelle
Chapter 37: Rosabelle
Chapter 38: James
Chapter 39: Rosabelle
Chapter 40: Rosabelle
Other Books By
About the Publisher
Tahereh Mafi, Watch Me
