REAPER: Death Row Shooters MC, page 6
The members didn’t understand it at first, but they caught on pretty quickly, a few of them even making brothers for life with the HLMC. I was alright with all of that, it was the incessant meddling in my life that was grating on my nerves.
“You talk to Grayson and Wolf?” Ash asked as we sauntered back into the bar. Poe kept looking back making sure we hadn’t been followed.
“Yeah,” I muttered.
“What they say?”
“They said they’d ask her.”
“You think she’ll come back?”
I slammed my helmet on one of the tables and turned to look at him. “I don’t give a fuck if she wants to come back or not. I’m bringing her home where she belongs.”
“Look, kid,” he regretted the words as soon as they slipped out of his mouth.
“You call me that again,” I pointed at him.
“Stop acting like one and we won’t have any more problems.”
“I know what the fuck I’m doing.”
“That’s what you think.” Ash’s anger was eminent in his stance. He was lookin’ for a fight and I was too frustrated to give into it.
“Argh,” I waved at him dismissively and walked down the hallway. “Leave me the fuck alone, Ash.” I turned my head slightly, “I don’t need a father figure, let alone one that forgot his own kid!”
It was a low blow, knowing it wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t see his boy. I heard him curse and a table flip as I slammed the door shut behind me. I shook my leather jacket off and threw it on the couch before slumping down in my chair. Propping my elbows on the table I hung my head in my hands.
I hated this feeling of emptiness I kept getting when I thought of her. I needed to see her, needed to feel her again. I looked down at my hands, hating myself. So much blood had seeped into them, so much anger and hate. How could I touch her with these hands? I had to make amends, I had to get shit right before she returned. I had to build her a home, one she’d want to stay in. But there was no time left, she’d have to accept what I could give her for now. My patience was wearing thin. I was never the patient type. Usually when I wanted something I just took it. And I wanted her.
My phone pinged and I took it out my back pocket and flung it onto the desk. Wolf’s name caught my eye and I stared at the message for a long moment. I realized then, there really was no time.
Dinah’s Diner at eight in the morning tomorrow. Don’t be fucking late.
My Angel was coming home.
7
Cecilia
I stared out the window of Dinah’s Diner as I waited for him to arrive. From where the diner sat you could see across the Hollywood Hills, the city of Los Angeles bustling down below beneath the clouds of smog. I hadn’t been back to California in a long time and I had to admit, I hadn’t missed it.
When Wolf had asked me to come back I’d been hesitant at first. When he told me Ryan wanted to see me, I wanted to stay hidden, to make him suffer the pain I’d been struggling through all these years. I’d finally been able to move on, and just when I thought everything was sliding into place, he comes barging in. After a few days I felt bad. Wolf never did ask me for anything, and I’d felt almost obligated to come. But maybe that was an excuse, maybe I was trying to find a way to get here all along.
So many years waiting to see him. My life was so different up in Washington. After that night, Wolf and Grayson had made sure I’d felt safe. They’d set me up with a place in Tacoma, and in the last few years I had dedicated myself to finishing my degree. They told me I didn’t have to worry about anything, but I was never one to rely on others and I quickly found a part time job waitressing. It got me through college where I became a registered nurse. Like I said, things were finally coming together. I had just been offered a job at the nearby hospital when I got the call from Wolf. I had two weeks until I started, and I came down for this one visit.
Just one day.
Just one hour.
“Hey, Firefly.”
I was startled out of my thoughts by his deep familiar rumble. Turning, I looked up at the man in question, and he took my breath away. The nickname made my heart skip a beat. I hadn’t heard it in years and as much as I didn’t want to admit it, I’d missed it. I fought back the tears that threatened to burn my cheeks, swallowed the lump in my throat, and stared at the man who had slid into the seat in front of me.
He’d gotten older, not by much though, he was still a pretty boy, but his features had hardened. A grim expression now lay where his brightness once shined. His clear blue eyes had darkened to a deep cobalt blue and his once short hair was now shoulder length, locks of his dark golden hair fell across his face, hiding him from me. A beard lined his face hiding away that strong jawline of his and giving him a permanently dangerous look.
“You gonna stare at me all day, Firefly?”
“Stop calling me that,” I glared at him. He could try to intimidate anyone he wants, but that shit won’t work on me and he knows it.
Stormy blue eyes narrowed on me, drawing out a shiver from me. And then he shrugged, as if he didn’t give a fuck. Leaning back in his chair he took a good long look at me. His eyes lingered on my face, my lips, running down the slope of my neckline and lingering on my breasts. Everywhere they fell was a caress on my body, and I clenched my jaw trying not to make a sound. The man was a complete contradiction. He was all sharp swagger with his expensive satin slacks and sleek black button-down shirt, yet he proudly wore his black leather jacket with the DRSMC patch on the back. Beneath that money-grubbing shirt there were traces of tattoos that lined his arms, tattoos I’d memorized so long ago and probably some new ones. Money and edge, that was Ryan Turner in a package.
“Why did you call me here, Ryan?”
Leaning forward he folded his hands on the table. I couldn’t help but focus on his long fingers and the lingering of a tattoo that peeked from beneath the cuff of his shirt. “Why do you think I called you here?”
We stared at one another, until I squirmed beneath his scrutiny. “I’m not at your beck and call, Ryan. I’m not in the mood for games, nor am I property you could once discard and then decide to come back for. I’m not up for grabs.”
“When did you learn to talk so pretty?”
“When I was left to fend for myself,” I hissed at him letting my anger coil tightly around us.
He didn’t say a word, instead he turned, staring out the window, a look of anguish crossed his features and I yearned to lean forward and touch his cheek. “Six years, Firefly. That’s how long I’ve waited for you.”
His eyes met mine, older, yes, but they still made me feel that same fire that had burned in me when I was eighteen. I shuddered as his eyes traced my face, a gentle longing buried deep in that glare.
“All that time I craved this moment,” his voice lowered. “Seeing your pretty face again, witnessing how a room lit up when you smiled.”
“Ryan,” he held up a hand to stop me.
“Six years, Firefly, and I never stopped thinking of you. Not once.”
“I’m a different person now, Ryan. I’m not the same young girl you left behind so long ago. I was weak back then, ignorant to what my father’s intents were, ignorant to yours as well. I’m no longer that girl that needs your protection. I left that girl behind. I killed her along with us that night.”
He nodded as he stared down at his hands, his lips slightly puckered in that childlike pout of his. I stared down at his hands along with him, for as long as I can remember I loved his hands. Their strength, the way they held me. He shifted and out of the corner of his sleeve I spotted the black leather band. Reaching out, I touched it. His breath hitched at the contact, and his hand coiled into a fist, but he didn’t pull away.
“You kept it?”
“Of course, I did.”
I ran my hand along his fist and he opened his hand while I traced his fingers. I remember how they felt when they stroked my back. How gentle they were as they cradled my face, the roughness of his fingertips as they caressed my cheek. There wasn’t a day that went by that thoughts of him wouldn’t plague my mind. In all the years that had passed, no one compared to him, and no one ever would.
But as much as I had missed him, I was not going back to that life. I refused to sacrifice myself or my freedom again. I had a life, a new name, happiness.
“I can’t go with you Ryan, you know this.”
“Firefl…”
“Stop calling me that!” I whispered harshly. “My name isn’t Firefly, it isn’t even Cecilia. I go by Lia now. I like Lia, she’s free to live her life.”
“You can be free with me,” his hand curled into a fist right over his heart, then he pounded it against the table. “You either come with me now, or I’ll steal you away.”
“You can’t do that, and you know it. Wolf and Grayson will come after you in a heartbeat.”
“I’ll take you far away where no one can find us.”
“And leave this?” I tapped the Death Row Shooters symbol on his bracelet. “I doubt it.”
“Please, Cecilia.”
Pain and despair shown in his face and I felt for him, because I knew that feeling all too well. I wasn’t sure if I was making the right decision. Doubt always loomed over me, and this time it made me hesitate. Maybe I should stay. Maybe he needed me. But where was he when I needed him? Where was he when I was suffering? I was in this turmoil of confusion, stay or go. But this man, Ryan Turner…Simon…whatever grim name he’d chosen for himself, he was still living in the past, and it hurt me to see it weighing him down. How could a man like this ever make me happy?
“I can’t do this, Ryan.”
I turned to walk off when his hand closed around my wrist, stopping me. We looked at one another, indecision meeting desperation. And somewhere, caught in the middle of all that uncertainty, there was a deep longing that lingered between us. A longing that was tarnished in sorrow and time wasted.
“Don’t go, Firefly. Gimme a chance.”
“I came to see how you were. You look really good, Ry.” I gave him a sad smile. “But I’m not going back. I can’t.”
“It’s different now, Cecilia. Those men don’t exist anymore. Ash buried La Plaga only months ago, he was the last of them. We’ve made something of ourselves, went back to code.”
There was so much to say, so much time that was lost, and so much pain. I stared down at the hand that was now wrapped around mine.
“Blood,” I muttered.
His eyes followed mine and he wrenched his hand away. “Necessary blood.”
“Too much of it,” my voice cracked. “And all because of me.”
He dragged me towards him and sat me down, kneeling by my side, his face was level with mine. Those hands I remembered so fondly, finally touching me. I concentrated on my breathing as a sense of safety overwhelmed me when he cradled my face. He was so gentle with me.
“I did what I had to do not just for you, but to protect what was mine. You were not the cause of it all. He was the monster. It was their fault.”
A tear escaped down my cheek, his beard grazing my soft skin, my breath shaky as his lips met my own in a soft kiss. It was a long-awaited meeting of two souls coming together again. The kiss was deep and slow, he was careful, as if though I were a fragile mare that would run away if he startled me. It was instinct to wrap my arms around him, to let out a sigh as his mouth molded to mine.
It’s just a sweet kiss, Lia.
A kiss goodbye.
I pushed him away, my lips still tingling from his touch, but I found my strength and got up. He knelt there, his head hung low, and I looked down at the top of his head and realized that what I needed all along was closure. What he gave me was a glimpse into what could have been, and I needed to stay away from that temptation.
“Goodbye, Ryan.”
Grabbing my purse, I left him there, and it took everything in me to leave and not look back.
8
Ryan
I walked her out and slid my black aviators on, avoiding the glare of the sun. I didn’t want this to happen this way, but she’d given me no choice. The President of the Death Row Shooters doesn’t fucking beg, and there I was on my knees with my heart in my hands and she thought she was going to walk out on me. She had another thing coming. I looked over at the man by the SUV, glad I’d decided to bring the Escalade with me.
“Cecilia,” I whispered.
She turned to me and as she covered her eyes from the glare of the sun, Mikey, one of the prospects, grabbed her from behind. He wrapped a cloth over her nose and mouth and held her tight as she kicked up. She stared at me, wide-eyed, kicking at Mikey’s shins and struggling. He dragged her over to the car, out of sight, and after a couple minutes she relaxed in his arms and I simply winked at her as she slowly drifted off to Neverland. She slipped away and I grabbed her from Mikey. I didn’t want anybody’s grubby paws on her. Lifting her into my arms I laid her down on the back seat and took a moment to take her in. She was as beautiful as ever. I moved her long golden locks aside and kissed her forehead, just how I’d done that night so long ago.
“Welcome home, baby.” I whispered to her before closing the door and sliding into the front seat.
* * *
Half an hour later I was standing in the middle of her bedroom. It hadn’t recently been remodeled just for her arrival, and I watched in shock as she practically destroyed it. Her eyes had fluttered open just as I’d laid her down in bed and she struggled and screamed until she fought me off her. I’d asked everyone to leave and turned to my fiery tempered vixen. Those gorgeous breasts of hers heaved sexily, her hair rumpled as if she’d just gotten up from a night of wild sex, and her eyes looked half glassed over, probably from the chloroform that hadn’t really fucking worked. I should have never trusted Digger. Her scream of frustration startled me as she continued to knock things down, she flung a lamp in my direction and I ducked down, barely dodging it.
“Are you through destroying the room? I thought you’d like to come down for dinner, but…”
“You cannot keep me here!”
“Watch me,” I turned to her and she met my gaze head on. She was a fearless little thing, I never thought she’d had this fire in her. She’d definitely changed since last I saw her. I couldn’t blame her.
“I don’t want to hurt you, Cecilia. It’s the last thing I want. But I want you to live and I want you to live by my side. I want you to be free.”
“I was free,” her voice cracked as tears slid down her cheeks. “The Hellbound Lovers gave me that freedom and now you’re taking it away!”
Her tears tore at my heart, but she needed to understand that there was no freedom without me. I was it or there was nothing. Coming up to her I cupped her cheeks, lifting her head until her shining blue eyes met mine.
“I gave you that freedom! Me! I am your freedom. I am your peace. I am your everything. And you’ll always be mine. I’ve been waiting for you, my sweet Cecilia. I’ve thought of you every day since I left your side. I’ve missed you more than you could ever imagine. Patiently waiting while the Hellbound Lovers kept you away from me. Not knowing where you were-how you were.”
She pulled away from me, brushing roughly at her cheeks. She faced me, her anger boring through me. “That was your fault! You wanted this! I begged you to take me with you and now you want to come back, for what Ryan? To destroy my life once again?”
“That’s not why I’m here.” I tried grabbing her, but she jerked away from me.
“Don’t touch me. I hate you!”
“Hate me if you have to, Firefly. But I’m not letting you go.”
“I was happy! I am happy. I want to go back. Take me back, Ryan.”
I shook my head. “I can’t do that, Cecilia. Forgive me. But I just can’t.”
I turned away and walked towards the door, stopping short just before opening it. “I just want you to understand that this is more than you and I, Cecilia.” I stared back at her fixedly, my heart in my throat as I said the next few words. “This is what my love for you has driven me to, it’s all for you.”
“Love? What do you know about love!” She yelled at me as giant drops of tears escaped down her rosy cheeks.
“It’s been six years! You left me six years ago and now suddenly you decide you want me back!” She laughed sarcastically, and irritation flooded through me.
“I waited for you too, Ryan… whatever the hell your last name is.” She waved her hand in the air and I found her reaction somewhat amusing.
“I waited so long for you there were nights I couldn’t breathe. I’d cry every night, not that you gave a shit. You never cared enough, did you?” She looked down at her hands. “I forgot what it meant to live, Ryan. And when I finally realized you weren’t coming, I nearly slit my wrists.”
“No,” I shook my head, gripping at her wrists, checking for marks.
“I didn’t. But you might as well have buried me beside my father.”
“Don’t fucking say that!” I ran my hands through my hair, desperation ran through me as I stumbled away from her.
“You did that. If it wasn’t for Wolf and Grayson, and Scarlett, I’d be dead by now.”
“You think I didn’t fucking suffer!” I pounded my chest, anguish scarring my soul. “You think I didn’t think about you every fucking day, curse myself for leaving you. I’m fucking broken!”
“If you knew what broken meant you wouldn’t have done this to me.”
“How could you say that to me?”
I was so fucking upset that she hadn’t considered me, not even a little bit. That she thought I didn’t have a heart. Grabbing her hand, I pressed it to my chest. “This shit beats you know. It fucking breaks too!”
I searched her face while she avoided my eyes. She tried to pull back, but I gripped her wrist and held her hand pressed above my heart. “Don’t ever fucking think I wasn’t breaking for you,” I gritted angrily.
