Premiere, page 20
“I’m gonna make tea. Do you want something?”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
She put the folder on the breakfast bar and then went through the motions of heating water and grabbing a cup, all the while wondering how he could be so calm. He’d clearly moved on. Every picture in every magazine she’d ever seen of him showed her how easily he’d moved on. If only it had been so easy for her.
“I’m not signing anything tonight. I’d like to have someone look it over first.” She crossed her arms and eyed the folder.
“I wouldn’t expect you to. I thought we could talk about what’s in there. Have you read it?”
She shook her head. The damned lump had returned to make her throat ache.
“I think you’ll find it’s a fair settlement. But let me know if you don’t. My father had it drawn up years ago. I glanced through it but …” His voice trailed off, and his fingers raked through his hair.
Dex’s father would certainly have made sure his only son’s interests were protected, so there’d been no need for him to read it. However bitter her thoughts were about the man, she still had been sorry to hear about his death two years ago. “I was sorry to hear about your father.” It was the last time she had attempted to call him.
“Thanks. I wasn’t sure you’d heard.” She didn’t miss the cutting look in his eyes before he was back to calm again.
“Of course I heard.” The man had run a multibillion-dollar company. His sudden death by heart attack had been all over the news.
The silence that descended was only cut by the whistling of the kettle on the stove. Elena busied herself with making her tea, but all too soon, that task was complete, so she made her way to stand at the breakfast bar. He stood on the other side, the folder between them. She blew gently on the dark liquid and took a sip before nodding to the papers.
“So … anything in particular in there you want to talk about?” When he didn’t answer right away, she looked back at him. His eyes were glued to the folder. While he’d waited for her, he’d rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. The bottom of a tattoo peeked out of the sleeve. Further testament that his life had gone on without her. She let her eyes move over him, taking in his broader shoulders in the black shirt and the way the charcoal pinstriped pants clung to his hips. He seemed foreign to her now but somehow achingly familiar. If she held him, would he even feel the same?
“I meant it, Elly. I never wanted this to happen.” When he looked up at her, the pain in his eyes made her heart clench. God knows she never wanted this to happen, either. The day she’d married him had been the happiest day of her life. No, the day he’d proposed to her had been the happiest day of her life. It had been the day she’d finally been sure that he really meant it when he said he loved her. That she wasn’t a summer fling. The day she married him had just been icing on the cake.
It was never supposed to end in divorce. She’d honestly thought what they had was the real thing, that nothing could come between them. But she’d been young and stupid. Dex had just graduated college that summer and was in Southern California to have one last summer of fun with his cousin before starting at his father’s company. She’d just finished her freshman year and hadn’t really been looking for love. She wasn’t one of those girls who went to college to have a social life. Her scholarship had demanded total devotion to her studies. But she’d never imagined meeting someone like Dex.
They’d been together from that first day he had caught her and Sara peeking out at them and he’d knocked on their door. Pretty soon, far sooner than she’d have thought possible, he was spending every day with her and every night in her bed. He’d become her best friend, the other part of her soul. He got every corny joke she made and knew exactly what to say to make her happy. But the summer came to an end. His flight was scheduled for her nineteenth birthday, so the four of them had planned a trip to Vegas to celebrate early. On the first night there, he’d asked her to marry him. She’d said yes without a second thought.
He’d still had to leave on her birthday, but it was so much easier knowing they were bound together. They talked daily, and he flew out for some weekends. His parents hated that he’d gotten married, and it was decided that it wouldn’t be announced. That should’ve been her first clue that it wouldn’t last. More demands were placed on him at work until they were lucky to see each other once every two months. Then he wanted her to move to New York to resume her studies there and became angry when she refused. He’d told her she didn’t need a scholarship when she had the Harrington money to pay for her tuition. But he’d never understood that she couldn’t give up her scholarship because she wouldn’t be reduced to living on his charity. Her mother had spent her life living from man to man, and Elena could not let him support her like that. The idea had been inconceivable to her.
Finally, just over a year after their first anniversary, they’d had a huge argument, and she’d told him to never come back. It was too heart-wrenching to have so little of him. She’d told herself it was better to just stop it before it got worse, but she’d been wrong. There had never been any part of her that didn’t love him. It didn’t get worse than that.
Soon after, he’d begun popping up in magazines and tabloids. The media attention had exploded after his father’s death and he’d taken the helm. They probably should’ve taken care of the divorce long ago, but it had been easy to go on without doing anything.
If she could stay angry, then it wouldn’t hurt as much, so she used one of the models he’d been spotted with against him. “Why now, then? Planning to propose to Brunhilda or whatever her name is?”
“You kicked me out, Elly.” He wasn’t accusing her. The same pain that had shown in his eyes was in his voice. “I fucking loved you.”
That was an accusation.
CHAPTER THREE
THE WORDS SENT A shard of pain slicing through her. Loved. Past tense. Why had she agreed to this conversation? It would do nothing but destroy her. Her hands shook so badly she put her cup down on the bar, afraid she’d spill tea everywhere. “I loved you, too.”
“Obviously not enough.” His hands gripped the edge of the bar so tightly his knuckles turned white.
She sucked in a deep breath, but her voice shook anyway. “That’s not fair, Dex. We tried to make it work. It just wouldn’t. It wasn’t meant to work.”
“You could have come to New York.”
“Dex”—she closed her eyes against the pain—“I couldn’t leave here just like that. Besides, what would’ve been waiting for me in New York? A scrap of your time on the rare occasions work let you come home? You could have moved here.”
“You know I couldn’t leave.”
“Neither of us could leave, so it never should’ve happened. It was a stupid idea to get married in the first place.”
He was silent, but she could feel the weight of his eyes on her. The scrutiny lasted so long she had to stop herself from fidgeting or walking away to the living room. She couldn’t look at him, though. Couldn’t bear to face his rejection again.
“It wasn’t stupid. We were in love and desperate to hold on to it. I can’t deny that the challenges we faced were more than most people have to overcome, but it wasn’t stupid, Elly. And those challenges weren’t insurmountable to the girl I knew, to the girl I married. What happened to her?”
“I don’t know what you mean.” But she did.
“Bullshit.” His jaw was clenched, and his eyes blazed in anger.
“This is pointless. What does it matter, anyway? You obviously want it over; the papers are right there.”
“I don’t know why it matters, but it does. You stopped talking to me, remember? Every time I came home, there was another wall between us. I just want to know what I did to make you turn away from me and move on. I think I deserve that.”
“Move on?” She could feel her control slipping, and her voice rose on that. “How can you say that? You’re the one out with a new woman every night. You’re the one taking vacations with them. I still live in the same apartment. The only man I’ve dated is Ron and he’s …” She sucked in a breath and made one last effort to control her anger.
“There aren’t as many as you think, Elly. There was never anyone until I was sure I’d lost you.” His voice was low and measured.
Even one was enough to break her heart. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not doing this with you again. You’ve made your feelings clear. I’ll have someone read over the papers and get them back to you when I can.” The tears were starting to well in her eyes, so she moved past him, hoping to reach the bathroom before they started.
“Don’t run away again. Talk to me. I really don’t know how you feel. You’d never tell me.” When she showed no sign of stopping, he followed. She’d almost made it to her bedroom by the time he grabbed her arm. “Please, Elly.”
It was the catch in his voice that made her look back. The pain was clear on his face, and she wondered if maybe he did still feel something. Something that would make this confrontation important to him. She couldn’t even begin to hide the tears in her eyes, didn’t even try. When she closed them, a tear fell down each cheek. She pressed her palms to the wall at her back and leaned into it for strength. “What do you want me to say? I said everything there was to say … I poured out my heart in that voice mail. You never called me back. What can I say after that?”
His thumb rubbed a tear from her cheek, and she heard him breathe in deeply. “What voice mail?” His breath whispered across her face. He was standing so close to her the heat from his body warmed her, and it was intoxicating.
She’d hoped to avoid reliving the embarrassment of that phone call. It had always been hard for her to open up, but to be rejected after that had been a harsh blow to take. She opened her eyes to refuse him, but when she met his fierce hazel gaze, she was lost. Looking back at her was the Dex she’d married. “After our fight. I don’t know, maybe a few weeks. I’d gotten a new phone because you wouldn’t stop calling me. But I missed you, so I called and left you a message. When you didn’t call back, I knew you were angry, so I called again and apologized.” It had been more than an apology. She’d asked for another chance. “You never called me back, so I took that as your answer.”
He closed his eyes as his hand cupped her cheek. “What did you say, Elly?”
A part of her wanted to play it off, to pretend she couldn’t remember, but she was done hiding. If it was over, then it would be over without her shrouding her feelings. “I said I loved you. That you were the most important thing in the world to me and I didn’t want to imagine my life without you in it. I asked if I could come to New York to see you so we could talk about it, make a plan for staying together. I wanted to do whatever it took to be with you.” The words threatened to stick in her throat, but she forced them out. Though by the time she finished, they were scarcely more than a whisper. “Surely you remember that.”
But he was shaking his head, and her chest tightened because she knew what he was going to say. “I never got it. I swear to you I never got that message.”
“How is that possible?”
“I never got it,” he repeated.
“But I’d called you before …” But her voice trailed off when she remembered she’d thrown her old phone out. She’d dialed his number from memory when she usually only pressed his name to call him. Was it possible she’d gotten it wrong? “You didn’t get my message when I called about your dad?”
He shook his head and held her face cupped between his hands. “Don’t you think I would have come back to you as soon as I heard you say you wanted me?” His lips were so close they almost brushed hers as he spoke. “You’re all I ever wanted, Elly. It’s always been you. It almost killed me when I thought you didn’t want me.”
The sob escaped before she could hold it back. “No, Dex, I never stopped wanting you. Never!” One hand rested on his cheek, the light stubble abrading her fingertips. “I was just so afraid of becoming dependent on you, of becoming my mother, I couldn’t— I didn’t know how to have a relationship, how to be a wife to you.” She did cry then, and his arms immediately went around her.
“Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. I don’t ever want you to cry.” His lips brushed her ear.
She buried herself against his chest, and it felt so good to be there after all these years. But even that wasn’t enough. “I love you, Dex.”
She turned her head until her mouth met his. He groaned, and his tongue slipped past her lips to brush hers. The touch ignited a spark in her that begged to be flamed. She needed him, needed to touch him, hold him, have him inside her. Her hands moved under his shirt, seeking the heat of his chest. When the fabric pulled tight, he yanked it apart, sending buttons flying, to give her total access. Her fingers savored his warm skin, and she marveled at how solid he felt.
Strong, eager hands went down to cup her bottom, urging her up against him. She complied and wrapped her legs around him, feeling him hard and thick against her center. He moved his hips, grinding against her, causing her body to pulse in need. It had always been like this, her need for him so heady and overwhelming. The absence of him from her life had only intensified that need. She had to have him now, so she pushed his shirt down over his shoulders and shamelessly rubbed herself against his chest.
“Jesus, Elly,” he groaned, and his hands tightened on her as he walked them to the bedroom.
He followed her down on the bed, but his eyes were solemn and full of tenderness as he rose to look at her. Anxious for him, she tugged him back down, but he refused to budge. “I want you to know that you’re the only one I’ve ever been with without protection, and I haven’t been with anyone in a very long time.” He took in a deep breath and brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. His throat worked as he swallowed. “I want to take you without anything between us …” The unspoken question hung heavy in the air.
She blinked back the sudden ache of tears and touched the beloved features of his face. If they were to move forward, then everything in the past had to be put behind them. The idea of not having him bare inside her was unacceptable. “I don’t want anything between us, either. I’m still on the pill.”
He smiled and kissed her gently before moving back to undress. She watched, greedy for the sight of him, appreciating every bit of masculinity he unwrapped for her pleasure. His body was sculpted to flawlessness. The pictures in the magazines hadn’t done him justice. They couldn’t compare to the perfection in front of her. The sight of him standing there fully aroused, his penis hard and silken, his eyes hungry and fierce, sent a flood of heat to her core.
“My turn.” He grinned as he knelt on the bed and reached for her sweater.
It occurred to her then that she should be self-conscious. Her body in no way compared to his, but it didn’t matter. This was Dex, and she needed him inside her now. He pulled the sweater off over her head, and she was already unbuttoning her jeans so that he pulled them down, too, and off her legs. Then he was on top of her, the weight of his body feeling so welcome as it pinned her down and pressed her thighs open.
His mouth took hers almost savagely, and his hands seemed to be everywhere. On her waist, kneading her breasts through her bra, on her bottom, squeezing as he pressed his erection against her. She moaned when the heat of his cock scalded her through her panties. She needed that barrier gone, needed him.
He rained hot kisses along her jaw and down her neck to her breast. Taking it first through the thin lace of her bra and then hastily pulling the cup down so his mouth could feast on her bare nipple. The spasm of pleasure that shot to her middle when he drew it deep into his mouth was her undoing.
“Now, Dex!” she cried.
He pulled back, and before she realized what he meant to do, he’d pushed the thin barrier of her panties aside, and his tongue licked the length of her slit. She shuddered at the intense wave of pleasure that washed through her. But he wasn’t done, and his lips closed over her clit, sucking the swollen nub into his mouth.
“Please. I need you.” She thought it might be possible to die from the need.
He pulled the white panties off and rose above her. The head of his hot erection notched at her entrance just before his hard length pushed into her. It had been so long since he’d been there, her passage was too tight. She closed her eyes and forced her muscles to relax, and he pushed forward, sinking into her until he was completely seated within her warmth. They both cried out with the pleasure.
Her fingers clenched in his hair as she arched under him, feet pressed on the bed to hold herself open for him. This was what she’d been missing, the feel of him pulsing inside her, wrapped in her intimate embrace.
“I love you.” The words were whispered as he brushed kisses on her cheek, her brow, her lips. “I’ve always loved you. I’ll always love you.”
Elena smiled as she looked into his eyes. He smiled, too, as he began to move inside her. Softly at first, but then his hands went to her bottom, pulling her cheeks apart as he pushed into her, and his pace became harder, wilder.
She pushed her knees wider, wanting to be open to him, wanting to be split apart by the force of him driving into her. Soon their rhythm was too violent to sustain eye contact any longer, and he buried his face in her neck. The hitch of his breath with each pounding thrust, harsh and uneven against her skin, was her undoing.
Her orgasm washed over her in wracking waves of pleasure, and he kept pounding, drawing it out until she was sure she couldn’t take any more. Then he groaned, and she felt the warm spray of his release inside her, but neither of them wanted it to end, and he kept moving until the spasms stopped.
They gasped for breath, wrung out from their pleasure.
Finally, he laced his fingers with hers and held himself above her to look down into her eyes. “You’re mine, Elly. I want you in my life. We’ll make it work this time, whatever we have to do.”
