Bad Influence, page 28
Could she believe him when he said it wasn’t over? Could their sacrifices possibly make up for all the mistakes and the hurt and the anger? Were they strong enough this time?
Chapter 21
“Dear Leanne. There are not many people in this world who would turn down $5m for the sake of personal principles. I’m not sure whether to think you’re crazy or stronger than the rest of us.”
—Sasha Jenkins
Joseph’s heart hammered as he sat rooted to the bench as though someone had taken a staple gun and pinned him in place. The nylon of his umbrella flapped as another breeze whooshed past, spraying them with more rain. Overhead, the clouds were thick and black.
If you can’t man the fuck up now and tell her exactly how you feel, then you will lose her forever.
It didn’t matter how uncomfortable it made him. It didn’t matter how little experience he had. Right now, he had two choices: let her walk away and earn his misery, or fight for the chance to get her back.
“You’re not saying anything.” He’d told her he didn’t want it to be over and her silence was killing him.
“I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes were wide, black pools, and her cheeks glistened from where the rain had sprayed her skin. “I’m scared.”
He was scared too. Terrified. More than he’d been in all his life.
Coming across her sitting at “their spot” wasn’t entirely a coincidence—he’d come looking for her after getting no answer at her apartment. There was a small box in his pocket, rose petals on his bed, champagne chilling in his fridge. Everything he’d planned for the night he was supposed to propose.
“Why don’t we go back to my place? We’re going to get soaked out here.” He brushed away the moisture on her cheeks. “I may even be able to lend you a small towel.”
Annie laughed, and it was like the sky had split open to allow the sun to shine through. “Are you going to send me home in it?”
“Who would do something so cruel?”
He stood and held the umbrella over her, reaching out with one hand. She hesitated a moment, emotion warring in her eyes. Her pale face was framed by the hood of her parka. Wide eyes drank him in as she wrapped her arms around herself, almost shrinking into nothing. She was vulnerable now. Because she’d loved him hard before, and it had hurt them both so much.
But this time would be different. This time he would get everything out of his head and into the world, so she knew exactly what he felt. The time for running away from hard conversations and feelings and emotions—all things he’d been taught to avoid—was over.
“Can you trust me?” he asked.
“I do trust you.”
They walked along a path curving around the pond and out onto the street, hailing a cab on West Fifty-Ninth. Neither one of them spoke a word as they slid into the back seat. Rain pelted the cab, creating a drumming sound that blocked everything out. Joseph ran through his speech over and over in his head, until the words jumbled into a big mess. By the time they made it to his place, he had no idea what to say anymore.
Just tell her how you feel.
Could it be that easy? That after all this time, could he just lay down the simple fact that he still loved her?
When they walked through his front door, Annie didn’t slip out of her coat. Was that a bad sign? Was she prepared to leave at any second?
“What am I doing here, Joe?”
Joe. Not Joseph. “I came to find you at the park because I’ve left too many things unsaid.”
“Like what?”
“Every day I spent in Singapore without you was like giving up a piece of myself.” He stepped toward her, drawn to her the way he always was. The way he knew he would never ever be drawn to another person. “By the end, I had given so much of myself away that I had no idea if there was anything left worth caring about.
“I kept a picture of you inside my passport wallet, and I looked at it all the time. I can’t even tell you how many times I thought about tearing it into little pieces just to be free of the hold it had over me. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I couldn’t let go, and for so long I didn’t know why. Then I realized…I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want us to be over because I never stopped loving you, not even for a second.”
“Once you say these things, you can’t take them back.”
She was afraid they’d go down the same path again. That something else would rock their security and that one of them would walk away.
“I don’t want to take them back. I should have married you, Annie. Like I had planned to all along. You’re the only person who makes me feel like I can be myself.”
“That’s how you make me feel,” she said. “But it’s not that simple. There’s so much more that goes into loving someone.”
“Like what? Our families? Because I want to be part of yours again. I tried to make you choose, and it didn’t work because I missed one fundamental thing: we were already family. The ring wasn’t going to make a lick of difference, because it was a symbol of something that already existed. You were right to want to stay with your mom. I shouldn’t have seen that as you choosing sides, because there was only one side.”
She looked up at him, her eyes bright and shining. “They loved you, you know. They wanted you to stay as much as I did.”
“I know.” He bobbed his head. “I went to see them last night.”
“What?” She blinked. “Why?”
“Because I owed them an apology too. God. I made a mess of things, but I will happily spend my whole life trying to right those wrongs for you.” He brushed a strand of damp hair from her forehead. “I will spend every day I have left working out new ways to tell you how much I want you, how you make me feel life is full of possibility. I know I’ve never been good at saying these things before, but I’ll learn.”
She pressed her hands to his chest. “I can’t believe you went to see them. Did my mother try to kill you?”
He chuckled. “Thankfully, Lupo seemed to be the only one who hadn’t held a grudge, so she gave me a chance after that.”
“Maybe we should all be a little more like Lupo.” A soft smile lifted her lips. “You have no idea how much that means to me, Joe. The fact that you went there not knowing what they would say…”
“I know exactly how much it means to you. And it’s a poor repayment for what I should have done the first time around.”
“I don’t know if there’s anything I can say that will make your parents forgive me.” She bit down on her lip. “I’m afraid I can’t return that favor.”
“I don’t need that from you.” He lowered his forehead to hers. “Maybe I’m selfish, but all I care about is having you with me. Forever. I just want you.”
Her eyes fluttered shut. “Even after everything I’ve done?”
“You gave up more money than any person could ever need because you wanted to stand by your principles. In my eyes, that makes you far stronger than anyone I’ve ever met. Sure, you lost your way after we broke up. But I know you, Annie. I know you have a good heart, you have a kind soul, and you want to do positive things in the world. And I believe that you will. I believe it with every part of me.”
When her eyes opened, she looked up at him with the full force of her love, this time without walls and without reservation and without the past standing between them. “Can you forgive me for not talking to you first that day? For not letting you be part of that decision? I know it was wrong and I regret treating you like that with all my heart.”
“I forgive you.”
“I should never have shut you out like that. After all the times you’d supported me and loved me, it was a huge slap in the face. I see that now. I don’t blame you for walking out, because I probably would have walked out on me too.” Her eyes glimmered. “Of all the dumb things I’ve done in my life, I regret that moment most of all. I regret losing you most of all.”
He took her hand and pulled her through the apartment toward his bedroom. He’d left the house a few hours earlier, having everything in its place—hoping this moment would be perfect. The second she stepped into his room, her eyes popped open.
“Joe.” She clamped a hand over her mouth. “What are you doing?”
He got down on one knee, just like he’d planned to three years ago. “Annie Maxwell, I have waited far too long to do this. I don’t ever want to walk away again. You’re the best thing in my life, and I’m never going to make the mistake of not fighting for us.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box. It had a diamond inside but no ring, which was not how he’d originally planned for things to go down.
“Don’t the diamond and the ring usually come together?” she asked with a cheeky smile, but the shake in her voice told him how much she was fighting back tears. “Is this a ‘some assembly required’ proposal?”
“I didn’t want to give you the ring as it was, because I’d hate for you to look at it and think of that day.” That day, which had started them both down the wrong paths. “And I want us to create something that’s uniquely perfect for you. Something that makes you smile when you look at it, that makes you remember this moment. And all the other good moments.”
Her hands knotted together and she had an expectant smile on her lips. “Are you going to ask me, Joe? Because I want to say it so bad.”
“Will you marry me?”
“Yes!” She didn’t give him a chance to get up. Instead, she snapped the box closed to protect the diamond, and then flung her arms around his neck. They were on the floor, a tangle of limbs and the scent of rain and fresh roses dancing in the air. “Yes, I will marry you.”
Her lips met his, greedy and hot. He placed the box gently up on the bedside table before pulling her close. Then they were undressing, the sound of zippers flying and clothes landing with wet slaps on the floorboards around them. She straddled him, her near-naked body pinning him to the floor.
Dark, wet hair curled around her cheek as she reached behind herself to unhook her bra. She peeled the soft pink lace from her skin and tossed it to one side.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his voice ragged. This was everything he could have hoped for, his Annie—his fiancée—in his arms and a second chance at forever. “We have so much lost time to make up for.”
“Don’t look at it like that.” She trailed her hands down his naked chest, raking lightly with her nails. There was the bite he loved most about her—the sting behind her sweetness. “We saved all the years ahead. We rescued those years. I want us to do great things together.”
He grabbed her hand and brought her fingertips to his mouth, kissing each one in turn. “Like what?”
“I want us to do the work that fulfills us. I want us to fall into bed exhausted and excited about our lives. I want us to be honest and to communicate and to fight clean and fuck dirty.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Fight clean and fuck dirty. Like right now, on this very floor.”
“On this very floor.”
“Baby, you have no idea how happy that makes me.”
“You have no idea how happy you make me.” She leaned forward, and he wrapped both arms around her, holding her tightly against him. So tight, it felt like they’d never be split apart again. “I love you. I always have.”
“I love you too. You’re good people, Annie Maxwell.”
She grinned. “That has quite a ring to it, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah. Must have been a smart guy that came up with that name.”
“And a smart girl who’s going to run with it.”
Epilogue
Six months later…
Annie stood at the edge of the crowd, watching her engagement ring wink in the light. The center stone that Joseph had given her was now flanked by two small pearls, to match the studs she always wore in her ears. On their wedding day, he had surprised her with a band of diamonds that perfectly hugged her engagement ring. But the most important detail was the engraving on the inside: See you at the pond.
Their spot. The spot that had drawn them back together after a long absence, the spot where he’d found her the night he proposed. The spot where he’d told her he loved her for the very first time all those years ago. The place was magic; she was sure of it.
Clutching a glass of sparkling water, Annie forced herself to count the bubbles as they raced to the top. One, two, three…
“Breathe.” A deep, commanding voice sounded next to her. She hadn’t even heard anyone approach.
“It’s the dress,” she said, craning her head up to where Joseph stood beside her. “I think I ate too much while we were on vacation.”
“You mean while we were on our honeymoon.” He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, his chuckle sending lightning bolts of anticipation through her. “I would have thought all that sex burned off the calories.”
“You’d think that.” Her lip twitched.
It was certainly a plausible explanation. Maybe she’d eaten her way through the guilt of running off and eloping without her friends or her family to bear witness, despite them all being perfectly understanding after the fact. She’d promised them a celebration on home turf soon. Nothing fancy, a BBQ at her parents’ place to celebrate love and the important things in life.
But eloping had been the only way they’d been able to start married life without making the same mistakes they’d made last time. To make it about them first. Of course, they would still care for their families. And they would still throw their hearts and souls into their businesses. But their relationship had to be number one.
Only now there’d been a slight wrench thrown in the works.
“I don’t think calories are the problem here,” she quipped, pressing a hand to her stomach. She’d hit twelve weeks, and although there wasn’t much of a bump to speak of, she did feel changes happening in her body. She’d put on a little weight, and her boobs were tender as hell. “I should have picked a different dress.”
“You look incredible.” Joseph tucked her hair behind her ear. “You’re going to sound incredible when you get up on that stage.”
Her chest squeezed, and her stomach rocked violently. “Oh God, you know I hate public speaking. Can’t you do it?”
Just the thought of standing up there, looking down at the sea of faces, had her feeling like she was going to hurl. Add to that, the fear over launching her new business, and she was a bundle of nerves.
“This is your baby, Annie. Your creation. You need to take the credit for it.” Joseph cupped her cheeks with both his hands. “You’re going to do amazing things with your life, and this is the first step.”
“No, not the first step. The first step was getting you back in my life.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. Dammit, the hormones were making her even more emotional than normal. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”
He lowered his head to hers, coaxing her lips open for a searching kiss. It filled her whole body with shimmering energy, with confidence and love and determination. All the things he brought out in her. All the things they brought out in each other.
And all the things they would pass on to their little boy or girl.
“I love you so much,” she whispered.
“I love you too.” He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “You’re going to kill it. Good People is going to blow everyone’s minds.”
Good People. It was the antithesis of Bad Bachelors. It focused on creating a positive impact on people’s lives through counseling, workshops, and online resources to help people navigate life’s ups and downs. They had recruited a small but powerful team to help build out Good People’s offerings—a psychologist, a financial adviser, a doctor, and Connie’s friend Amity as the self-defense and safety expert. Plus, they had Joseph and his information security company, providing help to those who’d suffered from online bullying and cyberstalking. And then there was Annie, CEO. Out in the open.
And it felt amazing.
“You think so?”
“If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that when you set your mind to something, you make good on it. I have no doubts at all.”
They looked up to find Joseph’s mother walking toward them. She wore a simple sheath in cotton-candy pink. A heavy strand of pearls hung around her neck. As usual, she looked every bit the put-together CEO. A power woman. Someone Annie should look up to.
To her surprise, Melinda approached with a soft smile. “Joseph. Annie.”
“Mom.” Joseph waited for a moment, but leaned in when his mother reached for him. All he’d ever wanted was for his family to accept Annie…and now, their baby. Would things change with the news of their child? When they’d told her parents earlier that day, Connie’s scream could have been heard on the moon.
“Hi, Melinda,” Annie replied, determined to be polite no matter what. She and Joseph had decided together that both of them were done letting him be stuck in the middle.
“It’s nice to see you. I’m very much looking forward to hearing all about Good People.” She sounded genuine, which was a surprise. “I think it’s a fabulous idea.”
Annie blinked. “I’m glad you think so.”
“In fact,” Melinda continued, “I would love it if we were able to strike a partnership between Good People and Landry Cosmetics.”
Whoa. Annie was so stunned that no words immediately came to her lips.
“I know we’ve had a very rocky relationship so far, but I also know my son loves you very much. Now that you’re married—”
“And expecting, actually.” Joseph’s voice was firm, but not unkind. “We were planning to tell you soon.”
