Cutter, page 19
“She didn’t answer. But don’t worry, I’ll be letting her know as soon as I get a hold of her that she’s worked her last day at The Dugout.”
I kept my mouth shut. Her being fired may have been something he thought would make me feel better, but it didn’t. I was anxious knowing that I’d left Dodger, and he likely went to help her. The very idea made me want to run to the toilet to throw up. I wished he wasn’t the type to feel like he was someone’s savior. Sure he was there for me whenever I needed him to be, but making exceptions for someone that was an issue for me was more than I was willing to compromise.
Camden got up and asked me if I’d like something to drink.
“No, thanks.”
“You probably should drink something, and try and settle a bit. This kind of stress is not good for you or the baby.”
“I know. I just wish I knew where he was.”
As if divine intervention was taking place, the doorbell rang.
Camden strode over and answered. I heard Dodger speaking.
“Where is she? I know she’s in here.”
Camden blocked the entrance. “Yeah, she’s here, but she doesn’t want to see you.”
I hadn’t actually told him I didn’t want to see Dodger, but he did well answering for me.
“Well, that’s just too damn bad.”
“Dodge, you really messed up, man. What in the hell happened?”
I tried to peek around him from where I sat on the couch. The dog oddly hadn’t gotten up to greet Dodger when he showed up. He stayed by my side with his head in my lap. Animals were good at sensing things.
“Dana called. I told her to never talk to me again.”
“Why did she call in the first place?”
“Camden, would you just let me in so I can talk to Macie.”
“No can do, bro.”
Judging from Camden’s rigid stance Dodger was doing something he didn’t like.
“Bro, if you don’t get out of my fuckin’ way, I won’t hesitate kicking your ass until you move. Either way, I’m here for my girl. Now move.”
I saw Camden nod. Shit, he was coming in. When Dodger came into view, the tears welled up in my eyes all over again. Keegan gave my hand a squeeze and she stood up from the ottoman and went to Camden’s side. Dodger and I made eye contact and I saw him swallow hard. I must look as rough as he did. His hair was ruffled like he had dragged his hands through it a million times.
“We’ll be in the other room if you need us.” Camden looked at Dodger. “If you upset her, I’m not going to hesitate in throwing your ass out of here. Understand?”
Dodger wasn’t going to answer him. He was busy staring at me, almost like he was trying to read if I was okay or not, and how he could approach me.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I stated simply.
He exhaled and his shoulders dropped. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? The fact that another woman called your phone and I answered it? Or because even after I asked you to not answer it, you did it anyway while looking me in the eyes?”
I was really laying into him, and I had no intentions of going easy. He didn’t deserve easy. Dodger came over and sat in the same spot Camden had.
“The latter.”
“Yeah? ‘Cause you sure didn’t look sorry when you still picked up that phone to talk to that crazy cunt.”
“Macie, I know. And I shouldn’t have. In hindsight, I really shouldn’t have.”
“Was it worth it?”
“No.” He looked down at his feet. “She said her ex-boyfriend had beat her up again and she was bleeding and had a black eye. When I told her she needed to stop calling me and call the police, she said no, that she just wanted me. I told her that I would call the police for her. She said that she didn’t want the police called. After she waivered with the facts of her story and some from other things she’s told me, I finally figured out that she had been lying about everything.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dodger, really? I’m pretty sure I told you that.” I scooted forward, my belly was getting uncomfortable sitting slouched down. The dog got up and moved away. “Why is it that when I told you she was a liar, you chose not to listen?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to help, you know? It all just seemed real. She showed me pictures of the bruises. I saw what she said was being done to her. I didn’t want to believe you were overreacting but, she was very convincing.”
“Yeah, and her not wanting to call the police is what finally tipped you off?”
He looked up at me, sadness etched all over his face. He was completely defeated. “No. I was leaving the house and when I walked out she was parked in front.”
I nearly knocked him over when I stood up so fast. My belly would have hit him in the face. “Are you kidding me? Dana came to my fucking house to see my god damn boyfriend? Oh . . .” I paced. Anger, hate, and negative energy was flowing from my fingertips. “She’s so fucking lucky I wasn’t there. The police would have definitely been called. I would have laid her ass out on the front lawn.”
“I know.” He attempted to grab my hand and pull me back to sit down, but I jerked away from him. “Like I said, it was all a lie. She told me she had feelings for me. The bruises I’d seen . . . she gave them to herself. Never in my life had I met someone so sadistic and manipulative.”
My lower lip started to quiver. All of my nerves, anxiety, anger, and heart break was catching up to me. I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me and ask why he couldn’t just believe me. And typical of my emotions lately, I also wanted him to comfort me. I wanted him to hold me and tell me something like this would never happen again.
“Macie, please don’t cry. God, please don’t. It’ll kill me.”
“Yeah, well, maybe you need to feel an ounce of what I’ve been feeling the past few hours.”
He stood up and walked to me anyway. He knew I’d resist. I pushed his chest back as he moved forward. It knocked him away but he came back. I used both hands this time and shoved him harder. He braced himself this time and held steady. My tears were freely flowing now. When I attempted to move him away from me for a third time, he grabbed my wrists and pulled me into him. Sure I had a stomach that was definitely in between us, but Dodger didn’t care. He put his hand behind my head and he buried his face in my neck. He breathed deeply almost as if it was his reassurance that I was here and that I was okay.
“I love you. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I promise.”
I nodded against his chest. “How do I know that it won’t?”
“Because I’ll listen to your gut if there’s ever a next time. I should have known that you know women, just like I know guys. And I’m filing a restraining order against Dana. I don’t want her anywhere near you, me, or our son. She steps anywhere near our house, or the gym, we will have her arrested. In fact, if she knew what was good for her, she would move out of town.”
“Do you really think a restraining order will keep her away?” I mumbled in his shirt.
“Yes, I do. I threatened her with it already and she kind of freaked and left the house. Kind of makes me wonder a bit more about her and her past. I got the feeling she’s done this before but to someone else.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it.”
We stood there, wrapped in each other, trying to settle from everything that had happened. I know I may be forgiving him quickly and easily, but honestly it wasn’t worth the effort to keep it going. I know he knew better and he had learned a tough lesson. The pure worry on his face when he came here and saw me was enough to tell me that he wouldn’t be doing it again. I never questioned Dodger’s love for me. But he needed to understand that there were greater things at stake here. He essentially tested the strength of our relationship and my resolve. He ever tried to pull something like that again, I’d be gone and it wouldn’t be so easy finding me. Nor would I be handing out forgiveness.
“Can we go home?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“No?”
“No, we have baby things to get.”
He leaned back and cradled my face between his hands. “Yes, we do.” He kissed me gently on the lips, and then my nose. He bent down and kissed my belly, and placed his hand on it. “Sorry, little man. I didn’t mean to get your mommy all worked up.”
I brushed my fingers through his hair. “We forgive you. But can you feed us to?”
“Of course.”
“Sushi?”
He chuckled. “If that’s what you want.”
“It’s what your son wants.”
“Right . . . my son.” He smiled his crooked smile and it melted me. “Come on. We can leave your car here, and we will pick it up later.”
We left after I yelled to Keegan we were out of there. She hugged us goodbye and threatened Dodger’s life and body parts if he ever hurt me again. Camden drove it home when he socked his brother in the arm a little harder than a friendly punch. Yeah . . . pretty sure lessons had been learned here.
DODGER AND I WERE on our way home from our doctor’s appointment when I asked him to pull over at the yogurt shop. I was craving chocolate yogurt and gummy bears something fierce. Of course, he obliged even though he knew I’d probably take a couple bites of it and say I was full. It had been a week since the Dana incident and I think he was still trying to kiss my ass. He really didn’t need to, but I’d certainly let him if it made him happy. He could kiss my ass for the rest of my life and I’d be perfectly okay with that.
Last Monday, after Dana had decided to go bat shit crazy, we’d gone to the court house to get a restraining order. When we were there, we found out from an officer that she in fact did have another restraining order issued against her. She would be served before the end of the week and she would have to stay no less than one hundred feet away from both of us. Nor could she come to our place of business. If she did, she would be arrested on the spot. Part of me wished she would so I could make that call. But more than anything, I wanted to run into her somewhere so I could sufficiently make her pay for what she’d put me through.
The stress from the week was catching up to me. I’d officially put in my notice at work that I was ready to take my maternity leave. I wanted to do nothing more than sleep, take walks around the neighborhood to try and bring on labor, and sit on the couch watching TV. Dodger checked in with me a dozen times when he wasn’t with me. Today at the appointment, Doctor Carrie finally checked my cervix. I was dilated one centimeter, but the baby was still high. We both explained everything he told me, so that Dodger understood it all. Dr. Carrie actually had a 3D image to show him just how a woman’s cervix changes and opens so that my body could prepare itself for labor. Let’s just say Dodger’s face said, “mind blown.”
“Here you go, babe.” He hopped back in the car with a cup full of my favorite.
“Thank you.” I took a spoonful and shoved it in my mouth. God, this stuff was good.
“Anywhere else you need to go or want to do?”
“Nah, I’m pretty beat. I think heading home sounds like a good idea. I’m going to need a nap after doing so much work eating this delicious bowl of goodness.”
He laughed. “Okay, Babe.”
When we got home, we both sat on the couch and watched a movie. I’d let Dodger pick this time since he’d let me choose the last three. He went with a Marvel movie, which I couldn’t bitch about. I mean come on, Hugh Jackman in tight pants and a leather coat? I wasn’t going to complain. When it was over, Dodger flipped it on to Maury, which made me laugh and throw a pillow at him.
“I’m going to go mow the lawn. Do you need anything before I go outside?”
I looked at my glass of water, which was still full and I shook my head no. He nodded and went into the garage. Checking my cell phone, I saw I’d missed a call from Donna. I phoned her back and she picked up after the first ring.
“Have you had that baby yet?” was her greeting.
My god, why did people say that crap? I mean don’t you think I’d let you know if I was in labor, let alone had the baby? Little things like that had been driving me up the wall. My personal favorite had been “boy, you sure look like you could go any day now.” Most of the time I wanted to throw right back at them, “so do you.” Buuuuut, that would be rude, I mentally rolled my eyes.
“Nope, not yet. But we had our doctor’s appointment today. It went really well. Only a centimeter dilated.”
“Why don’t you have my son take you for a walk around the neighborhood, that should speed things up.”
“We went for a walk this morning, but maybe I’ll get up and do another lap.”
“How are you actually feeling?”
Did I answer this honestly, or politely? “I’m okay. My hips are feeling really uncomfortable, and I’m not sleeping very much at night, but that’s to be expected.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Everything going okay there?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“Oh sure. Paul was pestering me to call you and see how you were doing, so I figured I’d pacify the old coot.”
Right . . . Paul wanted to know. “Well, you can let him know I’m good.”
“You know, I was talking to the ladies at church this past Sunday and they said there’s supposed to be a good thunderstorm tonight. Maybe the baby will come tonight. You know what they say about babies being born when there are storms in the air.” She giggled a high pitched laugh that made me want to hang up the phone.
“Mhmm, I know.”
“Is there any truth to that, or is it just an old wives’ tale?”
“There’s truth to it. Pressure changes in the atmosphere and all that. It can cause a woman to go into labor. But those things don’t usually happen unless the woman is really ready to have the baby.” I was looking around the house to find something to make noise with. I needed an excuse to get off the phone so I could take a nap.
“Oh, I see. Well, you just never know.” Her southern twang was strong. “Tonight might be the night.”
“Possibly.”
“All right, honey, well I’ll let you go. But you let me know the moment you two head to the hospital so I can be there for you two.”
“We will.”
“Okay bye-bye.”
“Bye.” I hung up and set my phone down.
Laying my head back, I rubbed my eyes. It was only two o’clock in the afternoon and it already felt like I’d been going all day. I heard the lawn mower kick on while I was on the phone with Donna. Since the colder weather had moved out about a month ago, Dodger has had the chance to do yard work a few times now. He’d probably spend two or three hours outside, perfecting and making sure the house had good curb appeal. I loved that he took pride in our home.
Yawning, it was definitely time for rest. The air conditioner was going, and it was quite cool in the house. I grabbed the throw blanket that was on the back of the sofa and covered my legs. Maury was on in the background, so I shut my eyes and did my best to get comfortable. I don’t know how long I’d slept, but I was very restless. My legs kept scissoring, I’d tossed the blanket off of me, my glass of water was gone, and my back was killing me. What in the ever loving fuck was going on?
Just as I resettled, the baby shifted and hit my bladder. I hated it when he did that. It made me feel like I was about to pee everywhere every time it happened. Standing up, I started my waddle to the bathroom. I was halfway when there was a sudden gush down my leg.
“Uhhh . . .” Did I just pee?
I looked down at the floor and it was wet around my bare feet. Never in my adult life had I peed myself, but I guess there’s a first time for everything. I wanted to clean it up before Dodger got back in the house. I didn’t want to explain that apparently this was a new symptom of pregnancy. The guy would probably make me sleep on plastic sheets. Grabbing a few towels from the hall closet, I tossed them on the floor and used my foot to wipe up the mess. No way, no how was I going to bend over. I’d never get back up.
As I walked back to my bedroom, to find a change of clothes, I noticed the tricking of fluid down my leg wasn’t stopping. Hmmm, well now that was interesting. Am I just being dense, or could my water have broken? I stood in the middle of the room, half naked while I pondered that thought. I took off my pants to try and see if the fluid would keep coming. A couple minutes passed and each time I moved or shifted, more would come out. It was clear, and had no odor like urine.
“Oh holy shit, I think it might be time,” I said to myself.
Stay calm, Macie. I mentally pep talked in my head. Nothing good ever comes from someone that panics. A slight tightening in my stomach started while I was trying to get myself dressed and use some padding to make sure I’d stay somewhat dry for a trip to the hospital to check and make sure it was in fact my water that broke. I needed to tell Dodger. Oh lord . . . this was going to be interesting.
Moving at what could only be described as a sloth’s pace, I got to the front door where I hear the mower still going. Dodger was moving across the lawn, shirtless, with a pair of sun glasses on and ear phones in his ears. He had a little pep in his step, like he was mowing to the music. I’d stand and admire him, but it didn’t strike me as a good time. Why did I seem so calm?
When Dodger caught sight of me, he let go of the mower’s handle and pulled out the buds.
“Hey, Beautiful, need something?”
“Well, I think so.”
He must’ve thought I was teasing him or being facetious because he licked his finger and trailed it down his sweaty, dirty abs. I really tried to afford him a smile so I didn’t bruise his ego or make him think something was wrong, but I was getting a cramping sensation in my lower stomach that had me holding my breath. Oh man, this was the real deal.
“Mace?” He started walking toward me, concerned.
I exhaled. “Erm, I think my water broke.”
His eyes got huge. “Shit, are you sure?”
