Silver Tongue Devil (Devil in the Deep Blue Sea #1), page 20
We had nothing. No leads, no clues, no nothing.
Being the captain came with lots of responsibility and with that, guilt and blame. Right or wrong, it all fell on my shoulders, and with Cooper and AB, I felt it was my fault even more.
“Pam is mad at you.” A voice jolted me out of my thoughts.
“Holy shit.” I jerked to see Sprig on my desk, holding up his girlfriend. A small stuffed goat named Pam. “You scared the crap out of me. How in the hell did you get in here?”
“I’m five inches, which, unlike what women probably tell you, is small. I can get in anywhere.” Sprig pushed Pam closer to me. “Apologize.”
“Get that fucking stuffed sheep out of my face.”
“How. Dare. You.” Sprig sucked in with a loud gasp, covering Pam’s ears. “Don’t listen to him, baby. You are not a sheep.” He glared, hissing at me. “You know I will hear about this for days. And she’s already mad at you.”
Snorting, I took another drink. “Okay, I’ll give… Why is the donkey mad at me?” Sprig had spent a lot of time alone in Rapava’s labs; his only friend then was a stuffed animal, a tiny bear he had to leave behind. To him, she and Pam were real. It was sad and adorable all at the same time.
Sprig sniffed, turning his back to me. “You’re right, Pam. He doesn’t deserve forgiveness after what he’s done.”
Setting down my glass, I watched him for a while, his tiny shoulders slouching with disappointment, digging at my cold, dead heart.
Groaning, I rubbed viciously at my forehead. “Okay, what do I need to apologize for?”
“Not talking to you,” Sprig huffed.
“Normally, that would make my day, gopher.” I poked at him. “But talk.”
Sprig circled back to me.
“For leaving.” I felt the stab instantly. “For hurting Bhean.” It was what he called Zoey, meaning woman. “Bebinn. Even the Viking, and… Pam.” Meaning him.
Emotion wound around my vocal cords. In my own pain, how many I had hurt when they were mourning too? Losing Lexie was devastating to them all. And then they lost me as well.
Swallowing the knot in my throat, I rubbed my thumb over the top of his head.
“I don’t say this often, or at all… I’m sorry, furball.”
“Not me you need to apologize to. I personally was happy you were gone.” He shoved Pam into my face again. “Apologize to her… like you mean it.”
I let out a light growl as I clenched my teeth, Sprig poking Pam into my nose.
“Nice and loud, boot humper.”
“Please, forgive me…” I gritted through every syllable, forcing out the last word like it might actually kill me. “Pam.”
Sprig tilted his ear to her mouth.
“She doesn’t believe you. Now again, but from the heart.”
“I’m going to use her innards as toilet paper,” I snapped.
“Someone is being a massive Viking.” In Sprig code, that meant asshole. “Pirates and Vikings aren’t all that different, I suppose.” He shrugged.
“But unlike Ryker, I don’t need my food separated. I can eat a goat and a monkey at the same time.”
“Don’t threaten us with a good time, pirate! We’re still mad at you.”
A groan pinched my lids together as a sharp knock thrummed my cabin door. “Enter,” I called out, downing another swig, trying to get all visuals out of my head, figuring it was Scot. I did a double-take when Cooper entered.
“Hey.” He peeked in. “Have a moment?”
“Yes.” I nodded eagerly. “Otherwise, you might have to tell Zoey I chucked her pet hamster overboard.”
“Hamster?” Sprig yelped. “I’ll have you know, bootleg-humper—”
“Hey, Sprig, I think Annabeth is down in the galley making tea with honey.” Cooper motioned at the door.
“What?” He stopped midsentence, his eyes growing wide. “Honey?”
“And some sugar cubes.”
“Gotta go, ass-bandit!” Sprig flew off the table, his cape of underwear flapping behind him, Pam in his arms, as he scrambled off the table. “Honeyhoneyhoneyhoneyhoney!” He chanted all the way out of my door, and Cooper closed it behind him, smirking back at me.
“He’ll be passed out in five minutes.”
“I give it three.”
Cooper stepped farther into the room. “Have another one of those?” He nodded at the drink in my hand.
“Like that should even be a question.” I got up, yanking out a large bottle of Scottish whiskey Scot got from his homeland. Pouring Cooper a drink, I handed it to him, gesturing to a chair on the other side of the table I used for a desk. “Everything okay?”
Cooper sat down, his gaze not meeting mine, his hand brushing his hair back. Something in his expression sent a warning down my limbs, my chest tightening.
“She doesn’t know I’m here.” He gulped the entire glass, setting it back down on the table, and poured himself another.
“Who doesn’t?” Trepidation slid down my gullet.
“Annabeth.” He took a moment to look at the whiskey before taking another huge gulp, only adding to my nerves. “She’d kill me.”
“What the fuck is going on?” Anything having to do with AB had my complete and full attention. There were only a handful I would kill and die for, and she was one of them.
“She doesn’t want you to know.” He frowned. “Anyone to know.”
“Cooper.” My spine straightened. “If you don’t fucking tell me what’s going on. Right now…”
“She’s sick.”
“What?” I froze.
He shifted in his seat, visibly agitated and upset.
“Cooper—” It rattled in my throat, almost a threat.
“We found out a few months ago.” He swallowed. “She has cancer.”
My blood stopped in my veins, dread submerging me with so much fear I couldn’t move or speak.
“We’re pretty sure it’s from the experiments, what Rapava did and gave to her down in the labs.” His eyes filled with liquid.
Emotion filled me like a volcano. I popped out of my seat, moving around the room, ready to explode. My brain could not wrap around the fact that she had cancer. It wasn’t fair. She had been through so much cruelty, horror, and loss, yet she radiated goodness and light. It was just like her to not want anyone to know. She wouldn’t want anyone to fuss over her, only over the kids at the orphanage.
I opened my mouth to ask something, but Cooper seemed to know, answering my next question.
“It’s incurable.”
“FUCK!” Fury bubbled under my skin as I erupted. I picked up a chair, chucking it across the room, roaring with anger as it crashed into my shelves, dumping books and trinkets onto the ground. I wanted to destroy everything in this room, tear the world apart with my hands if I had to. Plead with the universe to save her.
Not her… anyone but her.
Cooper didn’t move from his chair, not reacting at all to my outburst, taking another drink as I stared at him, wondering how he was so calm.
“You think I haven’t already broken everything in our house? Been so fucking angry at the world I had to be locked up for a bit so I didn’t kill everyone?” He shook his head, his light-brown eyes flashing with red, a sign the Dweller wasn’t far underneath. “I’ve cursed the world and tried to fight everyone I encountered. But it didn’t make her better.” He rolled his head back, blinking at the ceiling for a few beats. “She needs me strong, at her side, not throwing a tantrum.” He curved his head toward me. “She needs you too.”
Grief balled up in my throat, the reality of it hitting home.
“It’s why, even more, we have to find this nectar. It was easy to convince Lars to send me; he understands, out of all people, if it exists, I will find it.” His jaw set with determination, hiding the fear and pain flicking in his eyes. “Because if it’s not… if there is nothing we can do…” His hands rolled up into fists. “That’s not even something I can contemplate.” He stood up, his shoulders tight. “I wanted to tell you since I thought you deserved to know. I knew, like me, you would do anything for her.”
Not even a question.
“Please act like you don’t know. Let her tell you in her own time, okay?”
I tried to nod.
“I think she’s hoping that if this nectar is real and cures her, no one will even have to know. She doesn’t want people upset for no reason.”
“Typical AB.” I could barely talk, struggling to get sounds out of my throat. “Always thinking of others and never about herself.”
Cooper dipped his chin in agreement, strolling closer to where I was.
“Just know, I love her more than life. More than anything else. I will do everything to save her. Either you have me as your best ally and fighter.” He looked me dead in the eyes. “Or you have your greatest enemy if you get in my way.”
“For her.” I stared back. “There is nothing I won’t do.”
Cooper took me in one more moment, then nodded his head at the truth in my expression. “Good.”
I had already lost Lexie, failed to save her.
I would not lose Annabeth too.
Chapter 18
Katrina
Lights from the city glowed on the horizon, wispy clouds slithering over the stars, the smell of rain in the air again. The breeze flapped the flags high on the masts, the wind gliding over my skin, ebbing the humidity in the air. The taste of salt and brine layered on my tongue, making me exhale with the peace the water always gave me.
Most thought it was strange for a cat to love the water so much, but anything could be normal if you grew up around it. And since I was a toddler, I lived and breathed the pirate life.
I left the galley, most everyone else in bed at this late hour. I had spent a while talking to Annabeth and already adored her. She was taller than me by a few inches, yet her delicate frame made her feel small and younger than her twenty-five years. I might look the same age, but I was many centuries older than her human age.
She could easily be mistaken for fae, having an almost ethereal quality. The girl was the nicest and gentlest person I’d ever met. That had to be why she had nothing but good things to say about Croygen.
“We’re talking about the same guy, right?” I had tipped my head at her, my nose twitching at an odd, sour smell I couldn’t place. “Croygen? The pain in the ass pirate who probably seduces himself in the mirror?”
“All a front.” She batted her hand in the air, sipping her tea. The monkey, Sprig, was passed out on the table next to her, spooning what looked like a stuffed goat, with a honey packet in his other arm. “Croygen is one of the most faithful, good-hearted people I know.”
“Seriously, we can’t be talking about the same man.”
“For those he loves, he will do anything. He purposely put himself in hell, going down into Dr. Rapava’s labs twice. If you had any idea what hell, what depravity, went on down there, you would understand his love and dedication.”
Envy flinched through me because he would never do the same for me.
“He let himself be experimented on and tortured for both Zoey and Lexie so they wouldn’t be alone down there.” Her expression darkened as if she was experiencing a memory. “He purposely put himself there. Believe me, I know what kind of sacrifice it must have been.”
“Lexie?” I stilled at the name, having heard about her the night before. “You knew her well?”
“She was my sister. I mean, not by blood, but that wasn’t important” Sadness flooded her eyes. “I lost my biological family in the devastating electrical storm that hit Seattle years ago. Zoey found me in a bad situation, took me in, and raised Lexie and me when she didn’t have to. But she made us all family. And Croygen was part of that…” She stared down at her tea. “That was, until Lexie was killed. He didn’t handle it well. None of us did…he left right after.”
Was it sick to be slightly jealous of this Lexie? He’d so easily sent me off, never looking back, and never having any remorse for what he did, while this girl still tortured him. So much he had yet to return to his family after many years.
“He really loved her?” Was I fishing? No. Certainly not. I was just curious.
Annabeth looked up briefly, her mouth pinching in thought. “I know she loved him.” She twirled her tea bag around. “And no doubt he loved her. Absolutely adored her. There was no way you couldn’t. Lexie was filled with so much life, almost like her body couldn’t contain it all in this life.”
I swallowed.
“But was he in love with her?” Her blue eyes met mine as if she sensed something more in my question. “Until I met Cooper, I would have said yes. But now I understand fae better, and what mates mean to them. How it feels, the intensity and deep connection between us. There are no words in the English language to describe the bond.” A blush colored her pale skin. “To experience it. To witness it firsthand with Ryker and Zoey and so many at the Dweller ranch.” She paused, her gaze boring through me. “No.” She wagged her head. “Croygen loved her, but he wasn’t in love with her. Not the way she would have wanted him to be.”
A strange mix of sadness for this girl flowed over me because I knew how it felt to be so in love with him and for him not to feel the same, and also relieved that he wasn’t. Which only made me feel guilty because this poor girl was dead. What kind of person was jealous of a girl no longer living?
A loud fart whistled in the air, a sigh coming from Sprig. Annabeth and I both laughed, watching him curl up tighter around the goat, smacking his lips.
“I better get him to bed.” She scooped him up, smiling at me. “It was good talking with you, though I feel like I’ve somehow known you forever.” Oddly, I felt the same. “See you in the morning.”
“Night.”
AB took off toward the cabin she and Cooper shared, that bitter scent still lingering. My nose wiggled. Must have been Sprig farting the whole time. Cats had an excellent sense of smell. It was how I knew we were being attacked this morning; the men coming up the stairs had a strong magical stench I knew wasn’t from anyone I had met before.
This morning…
A flush warmed my cheeks, recalling how I woke up. I swear I could still feel his massive cock tucked in my ass, his hand up my shirt, his thumb absently rubbing at my nipple.
Desire slid down between my thighs, pulsing fiercely.
Jumping up, I needed to move, get some fresh air to flood out my thoughts. Taking deep breaths, I let my feet take me to the quarterdeck, trying to regain my composure.
My skin prickled, my senses knowing who was here before I even acknowledged them. My nose and eyes picked up on the figure standing at the railing.
The draw to the spot was a habit I had learned from him. When the pendulum swung too high and nothing made sense, the ocean would always center me again.
I was sure he was aware I stood there, but he didn’t react when I stepped up next to him, leaning on the rail, the impending storm rocking the ship.
I could feel turmoil whipping around inside him, his jaw clenched, his muscles tight, and his gaze far away.
“When I was young, late at night when no one was awake, I used to sneak out of my bed and spy on this pirate,” I spoke, my attention on the swells. “He’d come to this same spot when he felt the world on his shoulders.”
“Really?” he said flatly.
“I could hear him talking to the sea, telling it all his woes. And one time, I asked him if it ever answered him back.”
“And what did he say?”
“He said, ‘the sea always answers.’” My eyes stayed forward as I repeated the words he had told me in the past. “Maybe not directly. It keeps many secrets, but it will always guide you.”
His mouth hinted at a sad smile.
“Sounds like this pirate of yours was full of shit.”
“Oh, he was definitely that.” I grinned at his lips twitching again. “But he also was one of the wisest I’ve ever known.”
“Was that a compliment, Kitty-Kat?”
“You’re assuming you were the pirate I was talking about.”
His head twisted to me, our gazes catching. I could see and feel his sorrow, like he was adrift and had no raft to hang on to.
“You never snuck up on me. I always knew you were there,” he breathed. “I think you were one of the things that calmed me.”
I hated this sensation in my gut, this need to forget all the stuff between the time he sent me off the ship to when I climbed back on. Pretend he wasn’t the reason my life had been so rough, that I didn’t miss my father every minute. That I hadn’t spent every day for centuries planning my revenge, becoming a notorious pirate to spite him.
“I need you to tell me about my father.”
He blew out a breath, his head wagging. “This is not the time, Kat.”
“Yes, it is.” My voice rose, desperate to get my answers. “I need to know the full truth. I think you owe it to me.”
“No!” He turned to me, rage flaming behind his eyes, his body almost pressing into mine. “When I tell you it’s not the time…” He leaned in close, his nose almost touching mine. “I mean it. I’m hanging by a thread here. Don’t push me.”
“And what if I do?” I defied him, pretending I didn’t feel the rush of fear and fury. Wanting to push him past the point of cracking, needing to crack the unbreakable Silver-Tongue Devil. Somehow I knew in my gut he needed it more than anything. “What are you going to do to me?” I inched forward, getting a hair’s breadth from his face, his nose flaring at my nearness, his eyes dropping to my mouth, then darting back up again. “Kill me?”
“Kat,” he warned me, only fanning the flames of my own anger. He made me forget my grief, my father, because being near him short-circuited my brain. He was the reason I had no family. I had nothing but memories of struggle and pain, of being beaten at the boarding school, of fighting to stay alive in the streets not intended for girls. Even though I was an excellent fighter, when I was up against a gang of boys, there was no way of winning. At night I went to sleep curled into a ball, wearing his coat, beaten, bloody, and starving, wishing for death to take me by morning.
