Finding Olivia (Trace + Olivia), page 15
Buckling my seatbelt, I snapped, “You are so impatient. I had to drop off my stuff.”
“I’ve learned that patience never gets me what I want,” she chortled.
“What is it, exactly, that you’re subjecting me to on this girl’s day?” I asked.
“We’re getting our nails and toes painted,” she grinned.
“Avery!” I groaned. “You know I hate getting my nails done! The last time I went with you that guy made me bleed!”
“It was one time, Olivia,” she shook her head. “I highly doubt he’ll cut you again.”
“We’re going to the same place?!” I shrieked.
“Well, duh, I always go to the same place,” she merged into the right lane as the strip mall came into view. I saw the sign for the nail place from here and squirmed in my seat.
“Honestly, Olivia, you act like I’m sending you in front of the firing squad. This is supposed to be relaxing and I wanted to talk to you. I feel like we’re both either studying, or out, these days. You go back home tomorrow and I won’t see you for a whole month.”
“You’re right,” I sighed as she parked in front of the nail salon.
We stepped inside the small salon and the smell of acetone permeated the air.
Avery explained what we wanted done and one of the ladies working there got two of the pedicure chairs ready.
“Pick your color,” she pointed to rows upon rows of nail polish.
Avery didn’t think twice before picking a shade of red.
I picked out a bright sky-blue.
I took the seat next to Avery and rolled up my jeans. Placing my feet in the warm water, I handed the color I had chosen to the nail tech.
“How are things with Luca? Are you guys…serious?” I glanced over at her. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by probing…then again, I didn’t think anything made Avery uncomfortable.
“We haven’t put a label on our relationship but neither of us are seeing other people,” she shrugged. “I really like him.”
I grinned. “It’s about time and it sounds pretty serious to me. Normally, you’re like a guy, and the minute the chase is over, you’re done.”
She sighed. “I am normally like that,” she smoothed her hands over her jean clad legs. “Luca is different. Most guys don’t want to get to know me. They’re happy to fuck and leave,” she shrugged, not at all concerned that the people around us could hear every word she was saying. “But not Luca. I thought he’d be like all the others, but he wanted to get to know me, and Olivia…I found myself opening up to him, and that’s not something I do.”
“I’m happy you’ve found someone, Avery,” I reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze.
“I am too,” she smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“What is it?” I asked. “You look worried about something.”
“It’s just…how long can it last?” She looked over at me with wide green eyes. I had never seen Avery look so upset before.
“We never know how long anything can last. We have to decide if it’s worth the risk,” I explained.
She nodded. “He’s worth it.”
★★★
A weight had settled in my chest and it wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want to go back home. I didn’t want to deal with my father and I didn’t want to watch my robot mother.
The summer months I had spent at home, had drained me completely, and I knew the next four weeks would take their toll as well.
What was supposed to be a break for students, wouldn’t be for me. I would spend the whole time on edge, waiting for my dad to blow up.
I zipped my suitcase closed. We had only been back on campus for a week, after Thanksgiving break, and now I had to leave again. I wished I could hide in my dorm.
“Hey,” Avery said softly behind me, “you can come stay at my house. My parents probably won’t even be there.”
I turned around slowly to face her. Avery knew about the verbal abuse, but I hadn’t told her about my dad yanking me by the hair. “Thank you for offering, Avery. Really. You don’t know how much it means to me, but I can’t impose myself on you like that.”
“It’s no trouble at all, honestly,” she moved her bags closer to the door. Avery’s family lived local to the college but she insisted that she stay on campus. When I asked her about it once, she said that she couldn’t stand being in that big house by herself. It reminded her of how alone she really was.
“I’ll be fine,” I took a deep breath.
“Will you?” She asked with a raised brow and tilted her head.
“Yeah, of course,” I replied, praying she would drop it.
The truth was, I would have loved to stay with Avery, but since my dad was expecting me home, staying wasn’t an option.
“Alright,” she sighed and hugged me. “Call or text me, anytime.”
“I will,” I hugged her tighter.
She pulled away and grabbed her bags.
The door clicked closed behind her and I was alone.
I sat down on my bed. Everything was packed and I really needed to get on the road. It would be late when I finally arrived at home but I couldn’t make myself leave just yet.
The door opened and I didn’t bother to look over. Avery was always forgetting things. “What did you forget this time?” I laughed.
“I didn’t forget anything.”
“Trace,” I gasped and looked up to see him standing in the doorway. “How do you keep getting in here?”
“Avery let me in,” he grinned crookedly. “I was afraid you had left already but your car was still here.” He came in the rest of the way and closed the door behind him. “I wish I had seen more of you this week, but I knew you were busy with finals.”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
I knew Trace and I were dating, but I had wanted to leave before I saw him. This was making it even harder to go. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him. If we were still together, by the time classes ended for the year, I was sure it would kill me to leave him.
“Hey,” he breathed, his eyes narrowing as he strode across the room, and pulled me off of my bed and into his arms. “Don’t look so sad.”
“I don’t want to say goodbye to you,” my voice cracked.
He pushed me back a little so he could stare into my eyes. “This isn’t goodbye, Olivia. This is just…see you later. Okay? I’m not going anywhere.” He swallowed thickly. “I can see in your eyes that you think I’m going to be gone when you come back, but that isn’t true. I’ll be waiting for you.” His lips skimmed over the curve of my ear. “I like spending time with you and—” his lips lightly brushed against mine, “—kissing you. I like hearing the small little gasps you make when I touch you in certain places.” To prove a point, his fingers glided down my neck, and over the curve of my breast, eliciting a gasp from me. Grinning, he added, “Plus, we still have things to cross off that list of yours.” With a husky chuckle, he whispered in my ear, “I’m especially looking forward to the pole dancing.”
“I’m sure you are,” I gasped, my eyes fluttering closed as he pushed my shirt off my shoulder, and kissed the skin beside my bra strap.
“I really hope this,” he plucked at the strap, “comes off.”
He stepped back, grinning boyishly.
I swayed unsteadily and his large hand gripped my waist to keep me from falling.
I expected some cocky remark about his affect on me, but instead, his lips crashed against mine. I leaned into the kiss, standing on my tiptoes to reach him better. His tongue flicked against my lips, seeking entrance, and I was happy to oblige. He growled low in his throat as one of my hands sought his hair and tugged lightly, while I fisted his shirt in the other.
He wrenched his lips from mine, breathing raggedly, and panted, “That’s me not saying goodbye.”
Before I could recover, he walked away from me, and out the door.
Holy hell, I think liked not goodbyes.
c h a p t e r
Fourteen
My mom and dad were asleep when I arrived home. I half expected my dad to still be awake, pacing the halls, waiting for my arrival. I let myself in and went straight up to my room to go to bed, leaving my suitcase in the trunk of my car.
★★★
It was morning now, late morning.
Dad never let me sleep in.
I stepped out of my room and looked around, expecting him to come running at me, with a shaking fist, cursing me for sleeping in.
But nothing happened.
I quietly descended the steps, looking for him.
I tiptoed into the family room and saw my mom sitting there, drinking a cup of coffee, and watching a news show.
She never watched TV or drank coffee when he was around.
“Dad’s gone,” I stated.
“Some church thing,” she smiled pleasantly and patted the spot next to her on the striped couch. Whenever he was gone, she became a whole new person, more vibrant and alive. “He won’t be back until late tonight, we’ll probably be asleep. There’s some breakfast left over if you’d like some or we could go out and get lunch.”
I smiled brightly. My dad would never let us eat out, so on the rare occasions that he was gone, my mom would treat me to lunch out.
“Lunch would be great,” I beamed.
“Good,” she patted my knee, “and I can’t wait to hear all about school without your dad around.”
“I’ll go shower and get dressed,” I stood. “Where do you want to go for lunch?”
We always had to drive out of town so that one of dad’s church members didn’t see us.
“I’m not sure yet,” she sipped her coffee. “We’ll think of something while we drive.” Her eyes widened and zeroed in on my arm. “Is that a tattoo?”
“Oh,” I looked down, “yeah.”
“I like it,” she smiled. “But you better not let your father see it. You know how he is.”
“Yeah, I know,” I grumbled with a dramatic sigh, rubbing my still sleepy eyes.
I went outside, and carried my suitcase in, before getting ready.
Since I was home, I dressed in a worn pair of jeans, and a sweatshirt. Avery would have a conniption if she knew, but I wasn’t trying to impress anyone.
“Ready!” I called as I bound down the steps.
She grabbed her keys and I followed her out to the garage.
I slid into the beige leather seat of her Lexus sedan. Even though it was a few years old, it was in pristine condition, and still smelled new.
We were quiet during the ride, enjoying the peace.
“How does that place look?” My mom pointed to a restaurant after driving for almost an hour.
“Looks good to me. I’m not picky,” I shrugged.
She glanced at me, a smile curving her lips. “I’m really happy you’re home, Olivia. I know you were just here,” she swallowed, “and you’d probably rather be at school, but I want you to know that I love when you’re home. I hate that we don’t get to spend much time together.”
I took her hand in answer.
★★★
“This is so yummy,” I took a bite of a sweet potato fry before slurping on my second glass of sweat tea. I’d added a ton of sugar packets to it. No one up North knew how to make it sweet enough.
“Mhmm,” my mom hummed in consent.
A text message vibrated my pocket and I reached down to read it. It was a message from Trace.
Miss u.
I miss u 2.I quickly wrote back.
Oh. I was supposed to send that to someone else.
I hate you. I wrote.
;) U no I like 2 mess with u.I read his text and decided that I wasn’t going to write back. Two could play this game. It was time for Trace Wentworth to shake in his boots.
Olivia?The text came a minute after the previous one.
I was kidding.This one came a few seconds later.
Ru ignoring me?He asked.
I guess I deserve it. This text came two minutes later.
Sweating yet?I decided to let him off the hook.
U suck. I thought you were really mad at me. I could picture Trace letting out a sigh of relief.
Nah. I just wanted to get back at u 4 that comment. I have to go though. Having lunch w/my mom.I explained.
Have fun. If I was there, I’d be…well I’ll let you imagine what I’d be doing to u right now. ;)
I gulped as my mind went rampant, imagining Trace running his hand up and down my thigh, then higher.
I put my phone back into my pocket and looked up at my mom.
“So,” she eyed me, “who’s the guy?”
Immediately, my cheeks reddened. “What makes you think there’s a guy?” I squeaked.
She tilted her head, giving me a don’t-play-dumb look. “Girls don’t smile like that over nothing, Liv,” she pointed at my face with a fry.
I clapped a hand over my mouth.
“Tell me about him. I know he has to be special to have captured your attention,” she dipped her fry in ketchup.
“You’re not going to tell dad, are you?” I asked shakily.
She narrowed her eyes at me, those same eyes that I saw every day in the mirror. “There are a lot of things I don’t tell your father, Liv. Remember that.”
“His name is Trace,” I supplied.
She smiled, biting into her burger. “And how’d you meet?”
“I—uh—got a flat tire,” I looked down at my plate, “and he stopped to help me.”
“That’s nice. Is he in college?” She asked, playing with her straw as she waited for my reply.
“He’s a mechanic,” I bit my lip.
“Is he…older than you?” She questioned cautiously.
I rolled my eyes. “He’s twenty-two.”
“Oh,” she breathed a sigh of relief. “I can tell you really like him.”
“I do,” I admitted. “He’s great.”
“I wish I could meet him,” she sighed.
I swallowed. “Why don’t you leave dad?” The words tumbled from my mouth. I knew the real reason why she wouldn’t leave, but I wanted to hear what she had to say.
She put her burger down and studied me. “How could I leave him, Liv? I have no money of my own. I have nowhere to go or stay. I have nothing and he made sure of that,” she whispered the last part under her breath. “And honestly, Liv,” tears shown in her eyes, “I’m afraid of him.”
I was shocked that she admitted to me that she was afraid of him but I was careful not to let it show.
I reached across the table and took her hand. “I don’t like that you have to live like this, mom.”
“It is what it is,” she sighed. “He won’t change and I can’t leave. I’m stuck. It’s better if I pretend like I’m happy and everything is okay,” she rubbed her eyes. “I shouldn’t talk bad about him, he’s your father, but…” She paused. “Once, when you were about five, I had been putting money away. He’d give me money for groceries and I’d keep the change; hide it away, that sort of thing. One day, he found the box I was hiding it in. He got so angry. So angry,” she repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. “After that…”
“You stopped trying to find a way out,” I supplied.
She nodded. “It wasn’t worth it.”
“How-how did you meet dad?”
A wistful look stole across her face. “In high school. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. He was…so handsome and charismatic. I could talk to him for hours. He was nothing like he is now.”
“What changed him?” I picked up a sweet potato fry.
“He changed after we got married,” she sighed. “He turned into a completely different person. I felt like I was living with a stranger. He had fooled me and,” she shrugged, “I was stuck.”
“Why didn’t you leave then? Why stay and get pregnant with me?” I wasn’t sure I wanted my questions answered but I had to know.
Tears glassed her eyes. “It’s time you know the truth, Liv.” She bit her lip, crumpling the napkin between her fingers.
Panic coursed through my body. “What? What truth? What are you talking about?” I stuttered. What was going on? She was looking at me seriously and the tears were starting to trickle down her cheeks.
I began to sweat; feeling like a bomb was about to be dropped on me. I wanted to run but my feet wouldn’t move. I gripped the slick wood table in my hands.
“Early in my marriage with Aaron, I volunteered at the local library. That’s when I met Derek,” she smiled longingly and I began to shake my head at her words. “He was even more handsome than your father. Dark wavy hair and his smile…it lit up the room, Liv.” Her eyes grew clouded with the distant memory. “All of the ladies that worked at the library were infatuated with him, even the older ladies. He was so charming that he was impossible not to fall for.” My need to run was steadily increasing but I still couldn’t move. “He was at the library almost every day to study. He wanted to be a doctor. I found myself making excuses to go by there, even when I wasn’t volunteering,” her smile waned. “One day, we got to talking and…” she looked down at the table, taking deep breaths. This was hard for her. “I was craving companionship but Aaron was too busy studying to be a preacher. It started out innocently. I just wanted someone to talk to, I needed someone to listen to me,” she reached across the table for my hand and I gave it to her. “I fell in love with him. I didn’t mean to, but I did,” her eyes pleaded with me to understand. “I was going to leave Aaron for him-” She shook her head back and forth, fighting for composure.
A part of me wished I could go back in time and undo what she was saying. I didn’t want to hear this and I had a pretty good idea where this was headed.
“Derek and I were going to move in together and after the divorce was final with Aaron, we’d get married. I saw a lawyer and had the papers ready to give Aaron. I was waiting for the right moment. That’s when…that’s when I found out I was pregnant, with you.”
“Mom,” I croaked, “no. Don’t say it. Please, don’t say it.”
“That was also the same day,” her voice cracked, “that Derek got into a car accident.”
“No, no, stop,” I begged. I wanted to cover my ears but I couldn’t make my hands move. I was paralyzed.
