Cutie and the Beast, page 25
I bit my tongue from telling her my ex-husband already beat her to the lecture. Period. See what I did there? Obviously, I fell into the pit of delirium as she droned on and on, that’s what I did.
Finally, I was free to leave, but by this time I was so behind, I didn’t have long to race to Abel’s house and grab some clothes for work. Okay, fine. Maybe I had some time, but I got sidetracked staring at my favorite magnet on the dishwasher and trying not to cry over the half empty coffee cup sitting on the counter. The only reason it wasn’t totally empty is because Abel didn’t have time to drink it all. Because I wasn’t home to do morning duties with the girls. Because I was hiding at my mom’s house like a coward.
Like I’m still doing as I wait for Ainsley to get out of school. He never came to see me at work—not that I expected him to, since he normally doesn’t—but between that and not having a phone to text Abel and ask if he was still picking her up, I had to assume he wasn’t. I did leave him in a lurch this morning, after all. And now I’m afraid I’ll see him, but I’m also afraid I won’t. And I didn’t know my brain could actually have rambling thoughts, but apparently it can.
“I see the cougar has gone back to her part of the jungle.”
Huh?
I look over to see Tina, PTA mom extraordinaire and a shining example of who Regina George probably grew up to be, standing next to me.
“I’m sorry, what?” I honestly don’t know what she’s talking about. My attention is on the kids who are coming out of school now so I can intercept my daughter and get out of here quickly.
For whatever reason, Tina’s focus is trained on me, not on her own children, one of whom is likely to end up in a fistfight if someone doesn’t intervene soon.
“We haven’t seen you around for a while and that—” She sucks in a breathe through her teeth, literally sucks it in as if she’s trying to get her lady bits under control. It’s weird. And creepy. “Tall drink of water has been picking up your child from school every day for a few months now.”
Sure enough, I look over to where she’s staring, and Abel is looking back at us. He’s not smiling. He’s not walking toward me. He’s just… watching. My heart feels like it cracks a little and it takes everything in me not to allow tears to form in my eyes. It’s not about Abel seeing me cry. Maybe my tears would be evidence of how heartbroken I really am. No, I refuse to cry in front of Tina. She’s not the only shark in this ocean. I don’t need them circling me the minute they smell blood.
Fortunately, we’re interrupted by a pint-sized pixie with a giant, full-toothed smile. “Hi, Mommy! Am I going to the gym with you today?”
Smiling back at her, I turn my back on Tina. Unfortunately, that means I turn my back on Abel as well, but I try not to focus on that part. “You are! Is that okay with you?”
Thankfully, Ainsley begins jumping up and down. “Yay! I want to play on the big slide again! Is Mabel coming with us?”
I barely register Tina moving a tiny bit closer, trying to eavesdrop on my answer. Too bad for her, there’s nothing juicy to know. “Not this time, love. Maybe tomorrow though. I need to talk to Abel about it.”
There. Let her chew on that nugget for a while. It’s a teeny tiny nugget. Really, it’s not a juicy piece of information at all, and certainly not one that should be useful to the peanut gallery around here, but sometimes their ability to create stories out of nothing is pretty impressive.
“Come on. We’re gonna be late.”
I guide Ainsley as far away from Abel as possible and out the gate, moving with the crowd. He watches as we go, never trying to catch up to us. Never calling out. So, I guess that’s it. I guess what we had wasn’t worth fighting for that much. It hurts my heart, but I can’t focus on that now. I still have more than half a day of work left.
Half a day may as well be a week long, because it has to be a full moon or something random. More than likely, it’s because I’m completely off my game today and my mom whistle doesn’t seem to have the same power behind it as it normally does. Add to it, the stations weren’t set up in time for the kids to get here because I had to pick up Ainsley, so the older kids started bothering the younger kids, which lead to more frustration and fighting. This is what I get for staying at my mother’s house.
Dramatic much, Elliott? Someone better leave some wine and chocolate on my pillow tonight after powering through this day. Of course, I don’t know which pillow…
“Holy cow, is mercury in retrograde today or something?” Dinah’s words mirror my thoughts exactly. “It’s insane in here!”
“My fault,” I grunt as I lift the last of the station tables up. “I should have planned ahead, but I wasn’t thinking this needed to be done before I got back. I thought if I got Ainsley fast enough, I could beat most of them here.”
Dinah grabs the other side of the table and helps me get it situated. “Yeah, that was weird. You picking up Ainsley today instead of Abel.”
She’s fishing. I know she’s fishing. She knows I know she’s fishing. But I don’t have it in me to deflect right now.
“I know what you really want to know and, yes, we got in a fight, so I stayed at my mom’s. No, I haven’t talked to him about it yet. There hasn’t been time.”
Dinah makes a noncommittal “Ahh,” which only makes me glare at her. I know she wants to say more and is not trying very hard to be polite and stay in her lane. Which of course means weaving right over into mine.
The awkward silence begins to make me uncomfortable, which I’m sure was always her plan. “Just say it, Dinah.”
“Say what?”
Uh huh. She doesn’t even have a pretend innocent look about her.
“Say whatever it is you’re thinking about Abel and me because I need to get these kids under control.”
She waves me off like it’s no big deal that a couple of toddlers are drawing all over the walls with marker. “It’s washable. Besides, it’ll give me more ammunition to convince management we need another person in housekeeping.”
I find myself nodding in agreement. She’s not wrong. We really could use someone to come in and disinfect more often.
“I’m thinking how cute it is that it’s your first fight.”
“Seriously?” I place the supplies on the table and glance around for my big kids who prefer to do their math before going home. “You find this cute? It’s been a mess. Angelica! Caleb! Station is ready!”
My two little math nerds come running, ready to knock out the hardest part of their day so they can go play again. Honestly, figuring out third grade math is the hardest part of my day too, but I prefer it to them taking over the train table now that our two-year-old train aficionado is finally content.
“You’re gonna work it out. But you have to go home first, ya know.”
“I can’t,” I grumble, rolling my head around to try and alleviate some of the tension in my shoulders. Abel would know how to rub it out if he was here. But he’s not. And that sucks.
“What do you mean you can’t?” Dinah looks thoroughly confused. She’s not the only one.
“I can’t until I work out something with my ex. He’s threatening to sue for custody because Ainsley got hurt in my care.”
Dinah laughs. She actually laughs. I’m not sure why she finds it funny. “He’s trying to use the change of circumstance argument because of a childhood accident with her friend? He’s delusional.”
“Delusional or not, I don’t have the cash to fight him on it if he pushes things to court. I have to get him to calm down or wait him out or something. I don’t know.”
“No. You need to beat him at his own game.” Dinah reaches down and picks up one of our new crawlers who just made her way through the madness over to us. “How did you get over here, little one?” Dinah coos. “You were behind the gate in the baby room. Do we have a climber?”
“Beat him at his own game? How would I do that?” I ask, wiping down the counter with a disinfectant wipe. How it got sticky is unknown to me. I’m not sure I want to know.
Dinah looks at me, a smug smile on her face. “Think about his motivation. What’s the most important thing in his life?”
“Easy,” I say with a shrug. “Money.”
“So, get creative. Show him how much he has to lose if he doesn’t play nice.”
That gets my brain thinking. Dinah’s not wrong. Derrick gets to me because he threatens to take away the most important thing in the world to me—my daughter. All I have to figure out is how to threaten to take away the most important thing in the world to him.
Grabbing my paycheck off the desk, I open the drawer where my purse is and stash it inside.
I think I have an idea. And even better, I think it might work.
Chapter Thirty-Three
ABEL
Standing at the bottom of the stairs, I bend down and put my hands on Mabel’s arms. We’ve been talking about this all day. About how to give our girls a big gesture and show them that home is where they need to be, and we’ll fight as a team no matter what happens.
We didn’t really come up with anything grand. In fact, it’s fairly… not grand. But we’re at least here to fight for what we want, and what we want is our little unit back together.
Locking eyes, I do my best to pump Mabel up. “Are you ready to do this?”
She nods, eyes wide with excitement. “Yep. Let’s bring them home.”
We high five and trot up the steps to ring the doorbell.
I rub my hands together nervously. It’s not cold out, maybe a bit chilly, but it’s a habit I always have to break after so many months of winter. Apparently, Mabel picked up my habit because she’s doing the same thing.
We only wait a few seconds, but it feels like hours before the door opens, and there she is. My Cutie. She’s standing in the door, still in her work clothes, hair up in a messy ponytail and what appears to be dinner dripped on her shirt.
She’s never looked more beautiful.
“Hi.” Elliott is apprehensive and a little confused, but she doesn’t slam the door in our faces. That’s a good sign.
“Hi. We um…” I put my hand on Mabel’s shoulder, knowing she’s as nervous as I am. “We want to talk to you.”
Elliott furrows her brow but pushes the door open. “Yeah. Of course.” I’m sure she expected me to show up at some point, but the surprise is Mabel being with me. Like I said, though, we’re a team. The four of us. Yes, there are times Elliott and I need to hash out things alone. Now isn’t that time.
“Mabel!” A girly screech practically blows my eardrum out. Wow, that girl has some lungs. It’s a small price to pay, though, to see my girl and her bestie jumping up and down hugging. Despite less than forty-eight hours apart and seeing each other at school, they squeal like they hadn’t seen each other in years.
I make eye contact with Elliott and thankfully, she’s smiling at the scene like I am.
We give them a few minutes for Ainsley to show Mabel her tooth and tell her about all the smoothies she’s been eating. Apparently, her grandmother adds a scoop of ice cream to all her meals. The health nut in me is cringing over the information. The paternal instincts, however, are just happy she’s been getting some form of nourishment in her body.
As the conversation starts to taper off, Elliott jumps into mother mode. “Okay girls. Why don’t you go play so Abel and I can talk?”
Mabel turns her attention to me, and I can see the question in her eyes. She has something she needs to do first before she can let the adults work things out. From the look on her face, I think she fully understands how important it is too.
“Hang on.” I hold my hand up to stop the girls from racing off. “I think Mabel has something she wants to say first.”
Elliott looks confused by my words, and I’m grateful when she responds with, “Okay.”
Mabel takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She’s nervous. I get that. It’s never easy to own up to your mistakes. It’s even harder when you’re eight years old and it’s the first time for it to really matter. But then she straightens her spine, opens her eyes, and looks right at Elliott.
“I’m sorry for being mean to you. And for saying ugly things. And for not listening to you. Sometimes, I’m grumpy in the morning. And then you hug and kiss Ainsley, and I remember my mom isn’t home and it makes me sad.” Mabel blinks back tears, and I squeeze her shoulder in encouragement. That’s a lot of personal information for my girl to share with someone. Especially with someone who has the power to reject her.
Elliott’s face softens and her own eyes well with tears. Shit. I really should have thought to bring tissues. If I’m going to live in a house with three women, I better make it a point to remember them from now on.
Elliott sits down on the couch and holds her hands out to Mabel. “Come here.” She wiggles her fingers until Mabel moves forward, placing her tiny hands in Elliott’s larger ones. “I know you miss your mom so much. There’s nothing wrong with that. And I will never, ever try to replace her. I’m just going to be another adult in your life who loves you like your teachers and Miss Dinah and your grandma. Is that okay?”
Mabel nods and wipes a stray tear away. Poor Ainsley looks like she’s not sure what to do, so I put my arm around her and hug her close to me. Her tiny arms wrap around me and the gravity of this moment hits me. This is when we move from a dating relationship and helping each other with our kids to being a family. It wasn’t instant, but it was certainly inevitable.
“The one thing I need from you,” Elliott continues, pulling Mabel closer to her so her arms are now around her protectively, “is how I can make it better for you. I know I can’t bring your mom back, but I’m still the mom of the house. Which means my job is to help you any way I can. Can you think of anything I can do when you feel sad? Something that might make you feel better?”
Damn, I love this woman. To push aside everything for the sole purpose of taking care of my child’s emotional needs? I think love might be too small a word. What’s stronger than love? Really love? Obsessed with? Want to marry her?
Huh. That last one might be about right. I just won’t tell her yet. I had a hard enough time convincing her to date me.
Mabel takes a shuddering breath and says, “I want you to hug and kiss me too.”
“Oh honey, I can absolutely do that.” Elliott immediately puts her arms around Mabel, whispering things in her ear I can’t hear, but Mabel nods every once in a while. I take that as a good sign.
When they pull away, both are smiling and wiping tears from their eyes. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t wiping tears away too. Damn all this estrogen I’ve surrounded myself with. It’s turning me into a sissy.
“Oh!” Mabel exclaims. “And I’m sorry I kicked Ainsley. I didn’t do it on purpose.”
“I know you didn’t, baby.” I watch as Mabel’s eyes light up at the nickname. “But I need to apologize to you too.”
This time I furrow my own brow. Why would she need to apologize to Mabel? Did I miss something?
“I assumed the accident was your fault, but it wasn’t, was it?” Mabel shakes her head and now I’m thoroughly confused. “Ainsley is the one who made you play kickboxing, isn’t she?” Mabel nods and Ainsley stiffens by my side. My own jaw drops open, but I close it quickly, instead opting to go into dad mode.
Looking down at Ainsley, I try to give her a disappointed look without being too stern. I don’t know if it works, but Ainsley looks up at me and quietly says, “I’m sorry, Abel. I should have listened to her when she said she didn’t want to play it.”
I squeeze her shoulder and respond with, “Yeah, you should have. But I think maybe you learned a lesson on why you need to obey us next time, huh?” Ainsley nods and I continue. “You girls aren’t just friends. You’re roommates. Your job is to help each other make good choices. And when one of you isn’t doing that, to find one of us.”
Both girls nod vigorously.
“And one more thing,” I add. “Ainsley, you already know this, but Mabel, both of you are grounded from the Wii for a month.”
Mabel begins to protest but quickly stops when Ainsley responds with “Yes, sir.”
“Good.” Elliott claps her hands down on her lap. “Now that we have all that worked out, Ainsley, why don’t you show Mabel your old room and some of the toys you have here until we’re done talking?”
True to form, the two of them race off, loudly, clamoring up the stairs. We need to have a talk about going up and down the steps safely before someone knocks another tooth out.
When they are safely out of earshot, Elliott turns to me. “I’m really sorry, Abel.”
“For what?” It’s taking everything in me not to touch her and hug her. But I hold back, feeling like she needs to get this off her chest first.
“Well, I’m sorry for running away, because I know that’s what it was. And I’m so sorry for hounding you about confronting Mabel when I realized being here means I’m doing the exact same thing, just with the adults in my life.” I’m not sure what that means, but I can ask about it later. I’m too close to getting my little family back. I don’t want to open up wounds that aren’t necessary anyway. “But most of all, I’m sorry I accused Mabel of being the cause of all of this. I tried to give her grace, but I never once stopped to actually talk to her and hear her out. And I feel sick about how I was blaming an eight-year-old, when really it was me being a terrible person—” A sob escapes her throat, cutting off her rant. It also gives me the opportunity to jump in and pull her close to me.
“Hey, hey. Stop.”
I run my hand down her back, so grateful to be enjoying the feel of her in my arms again. She doesn’t have the same comfort though, shaking her head, rejecting my words.
“No, it’s not, Abel. I didn’t make her feel better. I made her feel worse. That’s on me.”
“We may have lived together for a couple months, but one thing you apparently don’t know about Mabel is, I guarantee your lack of conversation didn’t make her feel worse.”
