But some words, a few rare, dangerous, deadly words, are a knife in the spine, dug in, twisted, forced in deeper and deeper. They clench icy fingers around your throat and kiss your lips with poison that paralyses your heart.

  All it took was two words called from across the room for the blood in my veins to run cold and the scars on my shoulder to burn as if my skin was on fire. I was back in that metal death trap, the remains of my crashed car. Rain trailed blood into my eyes as I blinked numbly at my mangled arm. Sirens wailed in the distance as I waited for the pain to crash over me like a flood. Again and again, I saw them together: her on top, his fingers digging into her rolling hips, her eyes when she saw me…

  “Declan, darling.”

  Moments earlier, I would have found it nearly impossible to drag my eyes off of the girl in front of me, her magical eyes, her sweet smile, her gentle hand on my arm. But at those two words spoken like an ancient curse, the girl I couldn’t stop looking at practically disappeared from sight.

  I whirled around and scanned the crowd half with desperation, half with fear. I searched for her the same way prey searches for their predator in the encompassing dark—you don’t want to see the claws and gnashing teeth, but knowing they are just out of sight is even worse.

  Faceless men in black tuxedos and faceless women in long evening dresses parted. From them stepped Giselle on Dominic’s arm. Her eyes found mine and she smiled as if she hadn’t ripped out my heart and sunk her pearly white teeth into it, as if my blood wasn’t running down her chin.

  But I supposed the snake eating the mouse wasn’t anything personal—it was simply nature.

  With cold, cold blood and a forked tongue, Giselle betraying me with Dominic was simply nature.

  She smiled as she approached me with swaying hips so similar to the hypnotic dance of a dead-eyed cobra. She wore a skin-tight, blood-red dress with a slit along her tanned, toned thigh all the way up to her protruding hipbone. A plunging neckline revealed all of her breasts save the nipples and even at that, anyone could see them straining against the thin silk. On her miles-high stilettos next to Dominic’s lumbering frame, she walked toward me like she always walked…as if the carpet was her runway, as if the whole world had eyes only for her.

  And it was true.

  A hush fell over the crowd as whispers spread from ear to eager ear like a wild fire.

  “It’s Giselle...” “They haven’t seen each other since...” “This could get ugly...”

  They weren’t supposed to be here. My mind clung to that thought as its last bit of desperate hope. They weren’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to be here. She wasn’t supposed to be here.

  And yet there they were, less than ten feet away.

  I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t even breathe.

  But all of that changed when Dominic, his arm wrapped around Giselle’s bare shoulders, caught my eye to make damn sure I saw his finger brush against the side of her breast before he sent me an amused wink.

  Anger boiled over in my tight chest as my hands balled into white-knuckled fists, and I tensed to lunge forward for the motherfucker who grinned openly, ready for it, wanting it. I was about to throw myself at him when something moved in front of me to block my path. Blinded by rage—red, burning, searing hot rage—I grabbed the nuisance to toss it from my warpath.

  “Declan.”

  I hadn’t thought it possible that I could even hear a whisper with the loud rush of blood in my ears, but I heard her.

  Because some words are a lifeline thrown out in the dark, crashing waves… Some could pull you back from the edge of the staggering cliff and the jagged rocks down below. Some words can save you.

  “Declan,” the girl whispered again.

  Her soft, wide eyes were waiting for me as I blinked and looked down at her. She laid a gentle hand, fingers quivering just slightly, over mine, which I realised with horror was squeezing her arm like an iron vice. I exhaled shakily and released her, stumbling back as guilt washed over me. I never wanted to hurt her. “Sorry,” I muttered rapidly as I wiped a clammy palm over my forehead. “Sorry, sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, closing the distance I put between us. “Just focus on me.”

  I tried to keep my eyes on her, but Dominic’s voice just beyond her was too much.

  “Have you forgotten your manners, Declan?” he joked darkly. “You’re not going to come give us a kiss?” He pursed his lips at me.

  Again, I lost control at his taunting and was ready to drive his nose up into his brain with just the flat of my palm.

  Again, the girl placed herself in my way. This time, she grabbed my face, one hand holding each cheek, and pulled my attention down to her. “Hey,” she whispered as she smiled. “It’s just you and me.”

  “What?”

  Could anyone else hear the pounding of my heart? It was like a hammer in my ears. I needed to move. I needed to hit something. I needed to hit him.

  “Declan,” the girl brushed her thumb along my cheekbone sweetly while firmly holding me still. “It’s just you and me.”

  Why wasn’t I moving her aside? Why wasn’t I pushing her away from me? Why wasn’t I doing anything?

  It would have taken the strength of my pinkie alone to get her out of my way. She wouldn’t have stood a chance if I decided to brush her to the side. There was nothing she could do to stop me and yet—she was stopping me.

  “It’s just you and me,” she repeated as my darting, fury-filled eyes fell back on hers. “You and me.”

  My heart thudded against my ribs and my veins were about to burst, but she held my face close to hers and in that tight space between us, there was silence.

  Our silence.

  The silence of our dinners together. The silence of our hike through the sleepy, fog-filled forest together. The silence of her body against mine in the dim light of the dark room.

  I stared down into her eyes and it was just her and me.

  She gasped as my lips crashed against hers, as inevitable as any wave against the Cliffs of Moher.

  The girl froze against me, shoulders tensed, lips still, heart stopped entirely. But as my lips melted against hers, she melted against me. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling the delicate flowers under my hands, and we weren’t even in the city any longer. I was laying her down beneath the starlight, dewdrops sparkling in her wild curls spread around her head like a halo.

  My fingers clung desperately to her as her hands slipped behind my head to tease through the hair at the nape of my neck.

  I wanted to say I was kissing the girl because Dominic and Giselle, my rival and my ex, were standing no more than a few steps away from us. That the only reason the heat of my tongue was brushing against the heat of hers was because I wanted to spite the woman who’d betrayed me. How fiercely I wanted to convince myself that I was pulling the girl in tighter as she sighed against my chest only because I wanted to hurt Giselle, make her see what she gave up, realise how badly she fucked up.

  Because if I couldn’t say that, then I had to admit to myself something far more terrifying, far more painful, far more ruinous. I would have to say something else I wasn’t sure I was ready to say. I would have to say that the reason I was kissing the girl in front of the crowd was because I had feelings for her I couldn’t shove aside, bottle up, hide, destroy, or push down.

  Feelings I couldn’t escape.

  Feelings I couldn’t run away from.

  Feelings that would kill me.

  River

  His kiss came like a current, swift and strong, and I was dragged under before I could even gasp for one last breath of air. I could have fought against it. I could have thrashed, kicked, and struggled to the surface of the waters encompassing my body like the finest flowing silks. I could have fought against the tide…against the pull of his body, the draw of his cologne, the tug of his teeth against my lower lip. I could have fought against Declan’s kiss.

  But I didn’t want to.

  I wanted to drown in him. I wanted him to hold me tighter in his arms till I couldn’t breathe any longer, till I didn’t want to breathe any longer. Tie rocks to my ankles and drag me down deeper and deeper and deeper into the warmth of his embrace.

  The moment his lips touched mine with the softest of lightning, the red carpet disappeared. The reporters were gone, the flash of cameras, the microphones and notepads and audio recorders all gone. Dominic never existed and I’d never even heard the name Giselle.

  I’d been confusingly apprehensive at the sight of her when I turned around after Declan to see her approaching. She was everything that I was not. Her blonde hair sleek and shining in a dramatic slicked-back style with not a hair out of place, green eyes flashing beneath dark eyelashes. Her seductive red dress might as well have been painted onto her long, lean body, made even longer and leaner by stilettos. Ones I would have snapped an ankle in within three minutes of putting them on. Giselle looked ready for a photo shoot right then and there, and I couldn’t help but think Declan in his fine suit would look like more of a match next to her than next to me.

  But his lips, soft and full, pressed eagerly against mine. Suddenly, I felt beautiful, strong, powerful. I felt desired. And it had nothing to do with what I was wearing.

  It had to do with the way his fingers clawed into my lower back when I gasped against his lips. It had to do with the way he scraped his teeth against my lower lip when I leaned further against his chest…with the way every single tiny movement of my body created a reaction in Declan that I wasn’t sure even he was able to control.

  I wasn’t sure how long we kissed, as time itself seemed to disappear with the flashing lights and whispered gossip and wide-eyed stares. But when Declan finally pulled away, I was left breathless.

  The fresh air outside the hotel should have revived me, but after that kiss, I was certain I didn’t need it.

  I needed him.

  But as reality flooded in to drown my starry-eyed, princess-in-a-fairy-tale, head-in-the-clouds, Hallmark-card-worthy sentiments, I realised what had just happened:

  1) My boss had just kissed me.

  2) My boss had just kissed me in front of more cameras than I could count.

  3) My boss had just kissed me in front of more cameras than I could count and I had definitely, absolutely, assuredly, without a doubt, totally and undeniably kissed him back.

  Fuck.

  My cheeks warmed as I averted my gaze and stared at the hem of my dress along the red carpet. Declan cleared his throat next to me, and I braced myself for what he would surely say.

  “I’m sorry, that was a mistake.”

  “I’m sorry, I already regret that.”

  “I’m sorry, that was stupid. Very stupid.”

  “I’m sorry, I’ll never do that again.”

  But before Declan could utter the words I was certain would tumble from his lips that I still yearned for, Seamus walked up and slapped Declan on the back. “Well, well, well, that was quite…” he eyed the two of us with an amused grin, “…entertaining.”

  I blushed even more.

  “Where did Giselle go?” Declan asked.

  I glanced over at him at the sound of his voice. Even though he only stood a couple feet away, I couldn’t help but wonder if he was purposefully putting more distance than necessary between us. Was he trying to send the message that he didn’t feel the way I could no longer deny I felt myself?

  “Thanks to your little publicity stunt—quite brilliant, by the way,” he added, elbowing Declan and me playfully. “It was about halfway through that when they headed inside. Should have seen the look on Giselle’s face.”

  Publicity stunt? Was that all that was?

  I tried to read Declan’s face, but he wasn’t looking at me. Was he avoiding my eyes on purpose? Why wouldn’t he look at me?

  I wanted to pull him aside and talk to him. At the same time, I hoped we wouldn’t be alone for the rest of the night, because I was afraid of the truth that would come out—the kiss meant nothing.

  “All the colour drained from her face, and she dragged Dominic away, stomping off in those heels of hers,” Seamus continued.

  I kept studying Declan’s face.

  “Surprised you two didn’t hear the thump, thump, thump.”

  I hadn’t heard anything. Nothing at all except my heartbeat and his.

  Why wouldn’t he look at me?

  “We should get inside,” Declan grumbled under his breath, still not even glancing in my direction. His tone again sounded dark, melancholy, and monotone. He was again the emotionless robot with big muscles who I never expected could kiss the way he’d just kissed me.

  “Of course, of course,” Seamus said quickly as he guided Declan and me back toward one another with a hand on each of our backs. “Go get us Nike, you two lovebirds.”

  Declan gave me his arm without giving me his eyes.

  I hesitantly rested my hand at the crook of his elbow. I could feel how tense he was even through the thick material of his suit jacket. He was a bow pulled tight, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of Giselle or because of the kiss. Declan stepped forward without a word.

  “Or at the very least Adidas!” Seamus called after us as we walked toward the ballroom for dinner.

  It was for the best, I told myself as we stepped into the bustling room with fine linens dressing the tables, servers with white gloves weaving expertly about, and a live band playing jazz in the corner.

  I’d broken my rules, yes, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Declan and I would have a few awkward days, but then we would go back to normal. He just needed a distraction from his ex and that was me. When you think about it, I considered as we found our seats, it was simply an employee completing an assignment for an employer. I was his assistant and I assisted him. And it wasn’t like I slept with him.

  Nope.

  Couldn’t think about that.

  Wipe that thought from your brain, I told myself.

  It was just a kiss.

  It meant nothing, the kiss.

  Just a kiss.

  Everything would go back to normal.

  It had to.

  It would be fine.

  Everything was fine.

  Yeah, it was fine.

  Totally fine.

  Fine.

  Fine…

  River

  “Well, goodnight then,” I said, rubbing my eyes sleepily as I stumbled out of the elevator on the top floor of the Merrion Hotel. “Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

  I waved back lazily at Declan as I walked to my door and fumbled in my purse for my key card. I squinted at the key slot as I failed again and again to get it in the key hole probably due to the complimentary champagne I kept reaching for all throughout the event. But, hey, at least I didn’t care at all about that kiss anymore. Like I’d totally already forgotten about it.

  Totally.

  “Here.” Declan reached over my shoulder and easily inserted the key, unlocking the door.

  Well, isn’t that just great. He’s fantastic at kissing and opening doors. Whoop-de-do… “Thanks,” I said as I stepped inside and turned on the light.

  But as I turned to close the door, Declan’s big hand stopped it.

  “Umm, what are you doing?” I asked, frowning up at him.

  “I’m coming in with you.”

  I blinked as my brain tried to process the words. “What?”

  “I’m sleeping with you.”

  These words didn’t take nearly as long to understand. “Excuse me?”

  “Don’t be so dramatic.” Declan rolled his eyes. “It’s just business.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, and my voice practically squeaked as I repeated myself. “Excuse me?”

  With an annoyed sigh, Declan pointed over my shoulder at the window overlooking Dublin. “The paparazzi out there are expecting one light to turn on, not two,” he explained. “We have to keep up the ruse.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “What ruse?”

  “That we’re together.”

  I stared at Declan. And stared…and stared…and stared… “Together?”

  Declan pinched the bridge of his nose before shrugging. “You know…” He scratched at the back of his neck. “With one another.”

  “With one another?”

  “Together.”

  I shook my head. “You already said that one.”

  Declan exhaled loudly. “You know what I mean, River.”

  “I have no idea what you mean, Declan.”

  “Together,” Declan repeated, emphasizing the word.

  “It’s getting late,” I said, grabbing the door. “I think you should be heading over to your ro—”

  Declan’s hand again stopped me from closing the door to my hotel room. “A couple, okay?” he hissed, checking each side of the hallway behind him before looking down at me. “A couple.”

  I stared up into his eyes. All throughout the evening, I’d been on Declan’s arm. I’d met potential sponsors, fellow athletes, and loads of media personalities. He’d never introduced me as his girlfriend, but he’d also never corrected anyone who mistakenly assumed.

  Is that what Declan saw us as? I wondered. A couple?

  I couldn’t lie. The thought of it made my heart swell. He’d never told me he felt that way about me, but Declan wasn’t exactly skilled at crystal-clear communication, especially regarding emotional aspects of life. Did he really care about me? Did he really see me this way?

  Could it be that I’d wanted this all along?

  “We’re a couple?”

  “No. I mean, no, obviously not,” Declan quickly said, obviously not realising how casually he stabbed a dagger into my heart.

  In that moment I hated myself for being so foolish, so stupid, so goddamn hopeful all the fucking time.

  “Seamus just thinks it would be a good idea to make people think that, at least for a little while.”

  I remembered a time during the night when Seamus pulled Declan aside. I saw him pointing at me as he talked emphatically, but I had only cared as long as it took for another tray of champagne glasses and bacon-wrapped dates to make their way around the ballroom. This must have been what they were discussing, strategizing with my fucking heart.

 

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