Diamond, page 14
“You know I’m right. You’re just too stubborn to admit it,” she said. “Besides, I don’t want to go on the road and hang back waiting just to have a minute now and then to ourselves. And if I go, where will I sleep, hunh? You know as well as I do that the tour bus is not fixed up for separate quarters. My presence will only embarrass the boys and make them resentful.”
“What about my suggestion to fly with you and let the band travel on the bus?” he argued.
“Right! Separate yourself even more from your fans and the band. That’ll really give the papers something to rant about.”
She couldn’t get the memory out of her mind of all that fan mail Tommy had shown her. Letters upon letters begging Jesse to get back to his roots, to let go of a woman who was only trying to ruin him. Pleading for him to remember what country music and the singers who sang it were all about. They sang of family and values, of love gone wrong, and the roots from whence they came. Many of Jesse Eagle’s fans had decided that he’d gone far wrong by moving a woman into his life who was only using him for her own benefit.
Diamond feared that her presence in Jesse’s life was ruining everything he’d worked so hard to build.
“Dammit, Diamond, I don’t want to leave you,” he said, and grabbed her.
The pressure of his embrace was almost frightening. She sensed his indecision. And when he sighed and buried his face in her hair, she knew he’d accepted her terms.
He drew back. For long moments they stared into each other’s eyes. Then he cupped her face in his hands, letting his thumbs gently trace the curve of her lower lip.
“I love you, darlin’,” he said. “And when I come back, we talk about us, okay?”
His announcement caught her unaware. The implications were plain, and the promise behind his eyes brought tears to her own.
“As God is my witness, Jesse Eagle, I love you, too.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his shirt front. And when they stepped away from each other, she had a sudden urge to shout, “Wait for me,” and to pack and go with him. But she ignored it, as well as the look on his face.
Diamond turned away and went to make the call to Tommy, telling him that Jesse was ready to go. She scoffed at the panic filling her heart as she dialed the number. Nothing was going to happen to Jesse. He was only going on tour with his band. He was going to play his music and sing his songs and come back, tired but happy.
“Come and get him,” she said, unwilling to give Tommy time to question her or argue the issue again. It was between her and Jesse, and the decision had been made without Tommy’s help.
“Is everyone packed?” Tommy asked.
“We’re waiting,” she said.
Tommy cursed and hung up the phone. It wasn’t until the bus arrived at Jesse’s ranch, and he saw the anger on Jesse’s face and the pain on hers, that he knew. And for one moment, he regretted what had to be done. But later, he thought, Jesse would thank him for everything.
Diamond watched the bus drive away until there was nothing left but a faint trail of dust hanging in the air.
“Will there be anything you’ll be needing, Miss Diamond?” Henley asked. “I don’t like the idea of you being alone here.”
“I’m fine,” she said. “He’ll only be gone a week. Before I came, you always had this time free. There’s no reason to change anyone’s plans because of me. Besides,” she said, smiling gently at the worry on his face, “I took care of myself a long time before I knew that you or Jesse ever existed. I can surely manage seven days.”
“Still…” Something in her manner made him hesitate.
“I don’t want to hear any more about it,” she said. “Thanks to you I have my driver’s license. If I need anything, all I have to do is go get it myself. Go visit your brother and leave me in peace, Joe Henley.”
He sighed, nodded, and smiled.
Diamond called out as he walked, away. “I’ll miss you, Joe. Be careful and be safe.”
The warmth her words elicited within him stayed for a long, long time. He was still remembering them when he came back the day before Jesse was due home and found the house empty and everything she’d brought with her gone.
“No, no, no!” Henley couldn’t believe what he was seeing. The note was there. Dear Jesse, it began. He felt as if he were trespassing as he continued to read, although he knew that if there was a chance of finding her before Jesse returned, he had to take it. I’ll never forget what you did for me, or the love we shared. Saying good-bye is never easy. Seeing you when I said it would have been impossible. Forgive me for my cowardice. Be happy. It was signed Diamond.
The P.S. at the bottom of the page was addressed to Henley. Tears quickened at the corners of his eyes as he read. I’ll miss you, Joe. Take care of Jesse for me. You can pick up Jesse’s car at the bus station. I locked his keys inside so you’ll have to take the extra set to get in.
Henley swiped a shaky hand across his face. The note was too organized, the emotion too sparse. There was too much unsaid between the lines. He had a terrible suspicion that Jesse’s manager could explain a lot but knew there was no way in hell of that ever happening.
He laid the note back on the kitchen table where he’d found it and went to call a cab. Maybe when he got the car he’d find something inside that would tell him where she’d gone.
“What do you mean, she’s gone?”
Seeing the disbelief on Jesse’s face was painful. Henley simply shook his head and handed him the note. It had been all he could do to stand firm when Jesse had burst through the front door shouting, “I’m home,” and be the only person present to greet him.
Jesse’s heart skipped a beat as Henley handed him the note. He read it through twice and still thought it was a joke. “But she was here every time I called except the night before last. I didn’t think…”
He headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. He opened the door to her room and then stopped at the doorway, staring blindly at the array of clothing she’d left spread across her bed. It was all there. The green sequined dress, the red minidress she’d worn the night of the awards ceremony, along with everything else he’d ever bought her. She’d left everything behind, including him.
A terrible blackness began to envelop him as acceptance finally dawned. Rage swept through him, coupled with a pain so fierce he couldn’t speak. He walked out and slammed the door behind him, then blindly went from room to room, opening doors and slamming them shut.
The music room was last. The guitar she’d borrowed still lay on the couch where she’d left it. He walked inside, picked it up by the neck, and started to shake. Unaware of the tears running down his face, he swung. The guitar splintered against the desk. Over and over, he struck until wood flew and strings broke, along with Jesse’s heart.
Henley stood in the hall and tried not to make a sound. He didn’t want Jesse to know that he could hear his harsh, choking sobs coming from inside the music room. He didn’t want his boss to know that he, too, was crying.
Henley waited and watched. And when there were no more sounds coming from inside, he quietly opened the door and then stared in shock. The room was in shambles, and Jesse was nowhere in sight. The French doors that led out onto the patio were ajar. Henley dashed through but was too late to stop the inevitable. Jesse was gone—and so was his car.
Fear came over him as he looked back at the room and imagined Jesse’s state of mind. Driving now would be like playing Russian roulette behind the wheel.
He grabbed the phone and dialed, taking long, deep breaths as he calmed himself enough to be coherent. What he wanted was to rage at the injustice of it all.
Tommy answered the phone and then paled as Henley began to talk. For the first time since his assault on Diamond Houston began, he had regrets. But they weren’t for what he’d done to her. They were for the fact that he might just have cut off his nose to spite his face. If Jesse went and wrapped himself around a tree, ending his life and career, where did that leave Tommy?
“Don’t worry,” he told Henley. “I’ll find him. I’ll take care of everything. I always do.” He patted his pocket for a cigarette as he headed for the door, and then cursed when he remembered he was out. “What the hell,” he said to himself. “Who knows? I just might quit again.”
It took a week for Jesse to sober up enough to talk. When he did, he wouldn’t stop. And the questions he kept asking were making Tommy more nervous by the hour.
“Hell no, I didn’t do anything to her!” Tommy yelled. “Why is everything always my fault?” He stood toe to toe with Jesse, aware that if he faltered, Jesse would suspect his duplicity.
“I heard you two fighting more than once, that’s why,” Jesse said. “And Mack has already confessed to me what he did. The only saving grace he has is that they made their peace before she left.”
Jesse spun on his heel and flung his coffee cup across the room. It shattered in bits, leaving a small, damp stain on Tommy’s office wall.
“Where are you going?” Tommy asked, panic filling his voice as he watched Jesse heading for the door.
“To find her,” he said. “And so help me God, when I do, if I find out you had anything to do with her leaving, I’ll kill you myself. Do you understand?”
Tommy spit and cursed, thrusting papers in Jesse’s face as he shouted wildly. “You can’t leave. You have personal appearances to make. You need to plug your new album. It comes out in less than a week.”
“I don’t give a damn about that album, or anything else. You want to plug the album, then do it.”
“You’ll ruin your reputation if you don’t show.”
“According to you, it’s already ruined,” Jesse said. Then he walked out and slammed the door behind him. Tommy cursed until he ran out of words and then slumped down into his chair, burying his head in his hands.
“I’d kill myself, but I’m too damned tired,” he muttered. He opened his appointment book, took a deep breath, and began to make the calls. It might take all night, but he was going to get out of this smelling like a rose or his name wasn’t Tommy Thomas.
Cradle Creek looked just as it had the day Jesse had first seen it, only colder. And if possible, grayer. He was tired clear down to his bones. He had come back here on instinct. A last-ditch hope had sent him back to the place where he’d found her.
He’d stayed drunk for a week and then searched Nashville for days, with no luck. But he’d known from the first that if she’d left the car at the bus station, she was gone.
Cradle Creek was his last hope. And if he had no luck, it would also be the end of the road. The thought was unacceptable, but probable, and he’d ignored it for days.
He drove up to Whitelaw’s Bar and started to park. But when he looked next door to the place where Johnny Houston’s ramshackle home had stood and saw nothing but bare, brown earth, he started to shake.
“Oh, God,” he said, swallowing his panic.
“Hey, there!”
Jesse looked up. He recognized the owner of the bar from the night he’d heard Diamond sing.
“Whatcha doin’ back in this neck of the woods?” Morton Whitelaw asked, and slapped the hood of Jesse’s car. “Ain’t lost, are you?” He laughed heartily at his own joke.
“What happened to the house?” Jesse asked.
“Oh, that.” Morton stepped back and hawked, watching in satisfaction as his spit splattered against Jesse’s tire. “Hell, I tore that down for parking space right after I bought it. Didn’t want none of them damned Houston women showing back up to plague me. Guess it worked. I ain’t seen hide nor hair of any of them since.”
Jesse gripped the rim of his steering wheel and willed himself not to come unglued again. He’d just had his question answered, and he’d never even had to ask. She was gone. He leaned back and closed his eyes. She could be anywhere.
Suddenly he put the car into reverse and backed away, eager to put as much distance as possible between himself and Cradle Creek, Tennessee.
He drove toward home with a tear in his soul, and every breath he took widened it just enough to let in the pain.
11
Diamond’s feet hurt, but not as much as her heart. She’d known that leaving Jesse wouldn’t be easy, but she’d never known it would be this painful. Behind her a man laughed, and she jerked around, expecting to see Jesse’s smiling face. But it wasn’t him, and the knowledge that she’d never see him smile at her again made the sick feeling inside her deepen. Oh, Diamond knew that sooner or later their paths would cross. She just prayed that it would be later, when she’d learned better how to live with the pain.
Nashville wasn’t small, but the circle of people within the country music industry was. Like a large family with roots branching out in all directions, the singers and musicians played out their individual careers until something called them home—whether a tragedy or a celebration—and then they would come together, sharing their common interests in the music they so loved.
The man who had laughed saw Diamond’s interest in him. He tipped his hat and winked, still wearing his smile, and then shrugged and sighed as Diamond walked away.
She blocked out all thoughts of Jesse and ducked her head in reflex to the wind that bit into her cheeks as she turned the street corner. She looked up once to get her bearings and then continued walking, praying that today she’d get an audition.
The month since she’d walked out on Jesse had been without doubt the longest of her life. And the job she’d been so certain she’d get had never materialized. One club after another, one promised audition after another, had come and gone. The lines of girls just like her who came to Nashville to be a star were too long to get through alone. For the first time in her life, Diamond was about to be lost in the crowd. Here she was no different from all the other singers who’d bet their life on a dream.
Although that came as a shock, an even greater shock had come when she’d made the rounds on Music Row and discovered that no one had ever heard of Diamond Houston—or her demo. Oh, they’d heard of Tommy Thomas. Everyone knew the great Jesse Eagle’s manager. But Tommy hadn’t pitched her demo to any of the houses as he’d claimed.
Her lips twisted into a bitter smile as she passed a storefront window. It’s no more than you deserve, she told her reflection, refusing to recognize the despair on her face. She had gambled and lost. She had bet the pot on someone else’s promises instead of trusting in herself.
She turned away from the window and continued down the street knowing that she’d never let that happen again. She’d come to Nashville because of a dream. She wasn’t ready to give up on that dream—or herself. Not yet.
A sign overhead swung sharply in the wind, squeaking a bit on rusty hinges as Diamond walked past. Its lonesome sound echoed the feelings inside her. She’d never been so alone in her life; but she’d also never been so certain that what she’d done had been right. The last thing she wanted was to endanger Jesse’s career. At least now that she was gone, his future would be safe. As for hers…She shuddered. Hers was too vague to dwell upon.
The first drops of rain began to fall. Diamond closed her eyes and swallowed, remembering another rainy day and the loving that had come from it. Angry with herself for being so maudlin, she yielded to impulse and ducked into the first shop available to get out of the weather and away from the memories. But it had been a mistake. The shop she entered was a music store. And she wasn’t prepared for what she heard.
Lies…and lying lovers…
“Oh, my God!” Diamond gasped, and leaned against an aisle shelf. It was the song on Jesse’s album—their song! She stared blindly at the life-size cutout of Jesse Eagle standing at the end of the aisle and then looked too long at the slow, sexy smile he was wearing on his face. The room began to tilt.
“Are you all right, miss?” a clerk asked, and grabbed her arm as she swayed.
Diamond’s face was pale, but the look in her eyes was that of a cornered animal.
“Everywhere I go, you’re there,” she said, staring at the poster, and then buried her face in her hands.
“Should I call an ambulance?” the clerk asked.
“What? No!” She was shaking as she finally came to her senses enough to realize that someone was speaking to her. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, embarrassed that she’d caused a scene. “I’m just a little bit tired…and a whole lot lost.”
She took a deep breath and managed a smile to reassure him.
Allen Tillet considered himself quite a ladies’ man and had taken this job in the music store for the sole purpose of meeting girls. But his teenage repertoire of tricks and pick-up lines did not include any skills in how to break the ice with women. He watched the tall blonde woman walk away and for the first time in his life wished he were older—and someone else. If he were, he’d help that woman find her way, and how!
Diamond sorted through the display of Jesse’s new release, searching for the credits on the tape as well as the CD. She picked up one of each and paid for them, ignoring how much their purchase depleted her precious savings. Her hands shook as she tore away the cellophane, then her eyes scanned the small, almost illegible print in quiet desperation. And when she found the listing of credits for “Lies” and began to read, she gasped, then blanched, then started to smile. The smile turned into a chuckle and then into a laugh.
Allen Tillet shuddered and wondered if he should call the manager. The woman was laughing, but she didn’t seem happy at all, not with the tears he saw running down her face.
Diamond dropped her purchases into the trash and then walked out of the store.
Okay, Diamond, she told herself, you’ve learned a lesson the hard way. You bet your hand on something that wasn’t yours. You didn’t have a damned thing in writing; all you had was a man’s word. Obviously that man doesn’t know the meaning of honor.
She smiled once more as she thought of the repercussions he would suffer. And it was no more than he deserved. If she knew Jesse—and she’d bet her life that she did—he was going to be furious with his manager.
