Thawing Ava, page 5
“This is delicious. Is this gluten-free pasta?” Ava grimaced at how stupid she sounded. Food talk? Really? As she chewed, she could taste how similar it was to regular pasta but not as filling, not as heavy as gluten-based counterparts.
The grin he gave her could blind; it was all straight, bright white teeth. “Glad you like it. I’m not allergic, but it’s healthier. Also better for my diet so I don’t gain a lot of weight. Pasta is excellent before a game. Lots of energy to burn but easy to make.”
“I’ve been meaning to try gluten-free products, see how they taste and everything, but my aunt is old-school when it comes to baking. When’s your next game?” She ate her salad to keep from looking at Brice and avoid feeling stupid for that amateurish change of subject.
“This weekend with our toughest opponent, the Falcons. We’ve only lost to them once this season and won the last time we met. I really need to be on my game. I’m actually glad you’re here.” His tone didn’t tell her whether he was serious or not.
She looked up at him and caught the smile on his lips. “I’m not a good-luck charm, and I still have to finish reading my hockey book.” Again that sense of stupidity settled on her. She was tempted to pull an all-nighter and watch nothing but the NHL Channel but didn’t want to keep him up too.
“No need for the book. You have me to help you refresh your memory of the game. And yes, you are a good-luck charm. You’re going to help me stay on my game.” His face showed how serious he was; his eyes flashed with conviction. “I already feel good, better than I have in years, with you around. It’ll be nice having someone I know cheering me on.” His features softened.
Silken tendrils of heat filled her, reminding her of every touch from him in the kitchen. She cleared her throat. “I have to run back to my parents’ place and get my things. Dad’s letting me use one of his cars since I don’t know the area yet and I don’t have a rental.” She didn’t want him thinking too much of her attending games.
“Why don’t I drive you over? My SUV has enough space, and unless you’ve brought everything and the kitchen sink, I’m sure I can fit it all. The visit will give me a chance to talk to James.” His eyes sparkled with amusement that she didn’t understand.
“O-okay, Sure. I only brought what I could pack. Everything else is in storage until I have a place to stay. I had just put the last of my things away and only had my clothes to go when Mom called. I had already sold most of my furniture and kept the pieces I liked.” Her heart stuttered. So many memories sold because of her breakup with Perry. She hated to sell the rolltop desk that she’d found at a flea market and cleaned up and varnished herself. Perry had refused to lift a hand to help her. In fact, he hated looking for treasures with her, thought it was waste of time. One of the many things they hadn’t had in common. Why had she wasted her time with him for so long? Why had she even agreed to marry him when she’d had reservations? It wasn’t like anyone held a gun to her head and told her she had to. Brice’s attention only made Perry’s neglect that much more obvious.
A void filled in her head. The last few weeks had been focused on packing up her life and moving on, but she hadn’t thought about why her relationship fell apart beyond Perry’s cheating. She dragged her fork through the pasta and sauce and drank a bit of water, but her appetite was long gone.
“You okay? Where’d you go? Is it the spaghetti?”
Ava shook her head. Would Brice get it? Sure, he looked concerned, but they barely knew each other. She studied his expression; genuine worry filled his green eyes. Ava knew she couldn’t hide her emotions from him, not when they’d have to live so closely together. Besides he could just pester her until she told him.
“Ava,” he said, his voice soft, lulling, “you can tell me. I swear I won’t judge you.” Conviction flew over his features. He leaned forward in his chair, both hands pressed to the tabletop. “Tell me what the asshole did to you, honey.” The softness was gone; only the hard edge of anger remained. It seared her flesh, slicing through her hesitation.
The words tumbled out unheeded, as if she needed to say it before she hid it all away behind her walls. “I was thinking of my ex. I don’t know why I stayed with him so long. We barely had anything in common, and from what I understand from my neighbors, he’d been cheating on me for most of our relationship with the twins down the hall and his assistant and a few women from his law firm. I don’t understand why he’d propose to me. I just… I never really thought about these things. Didn’t have the time. I’ve been trying to move on. He didn’t even protest when I broke up with him. Just told me it was my loss. I don’t know why he cheated on me. I want to ask, but I don’t want to face him.” She sighed and took a sip of water. “I wanted to ask him if it was my weight, but part of me didn’t want to hear that.” Didn’t want to think that again a man had rejected me because of my figure.
Ava felt stupid for feeling the way she did and for even voicing her desire to talk to Perry one last time. Perhaps it was a need for closure, she wasn’t sure, but she knew she needed to understand why someone would hurt another person like that. She remembered how nonchalant he’d been. He hadn’t even fought her, argued for her to stay, or given her reasons to be together. That’s what hurt the most. His law career came first and her second. She could accept that if he’d been dedicated to her, but to know that he wouldn’t even fight for the woman he’d claimed he wanted to marry?
Tears burned her eyes, and an ache started in her chest. What would it be like to matter to a man so much that he’d fight for her? Argue with her to stay, to give them a chance? Not even Brice had done that. No phone calls or visits to her dorm, nothing. He’d had his life, and it hadn’t included her. Slips of hot water burned a trail down her cheeks. She sniffled and ducked her head to hide her emotions. Had Brice fucked her up so much that she was still hurt over that Christmas?
She heard the scrape of a chair on hardwood but didn’t look up. Brice’s heavy footsteps came toward her. The fevered weight of his calloused palm settled on her shoulder. He gave the muscle a squeeze. A wave of comfort washed over her before she remembered the pain of no calls or visits, of seeing him around campus. Rather than talk about that bit of embarrassment, she allowed him this moment, even though she wanted more than a shoulder squeeze.
“Okay, first, Perry is an asswad, plain and simple. He’s a douche bag for cheating on you. If he was cheating on you for that long, he had no desire to commit to you. Giving you an engagement ring was probably his way of distracting you. Probably thought it would appease you.” Brice stood up, grabbed his plate and glass, and headed into the kitchen before coming back and getting hers. “And second, if he didn’t fight for a prize like you, he was a moron. You are a priceless treasure, honey. I was stupid for not going after you after Christmas, but he was an even bigger idiot for using you like that.”
She remained silent, unsure of whether to believe him or not. Brice had the same charisma as Perry, the same easy charm that lulled you into a sense of safety. She couldn’t trust that, could she?
Ava pressed her lips together, unable to voice her pain to him, the humiliation she’d felt waiting by the phone for him to call, getting close to but not asking Davis about him. No, can’t trust him. Just because he’s a smooth talker doesn’t mean anything. I’m just easy prey to him. Live-in pussy that he could seduce so he won’t have to go out to clubs to hunt. She used those thoughts to steal herself against him.
“The question is what did you get from your relationship with Perry that you couldn’t get being single? Why stay with someone who doesn’t tick all the boxes?” Brice turned to look at her, a hard gaze in his green eyes, gold flecks flashing. She shifted in her seat, feeling like a child caught in a lie.
Facing the truth about Perry would be easier than telling Brice what he’d done to her. Ava licked her lips to give herself some time to answer. “Well, he kept me company. We didn’t live together—he had his place and I had mine—but he stayed over. I didn’t feel like a loser when I ate dinner alone and he was working late.” Her thoughts wrapped around this notion. “I suppose I just liked saying I had a boyfriend or fiancé. He wasn’t exactly that giving in bed. Okay, he was crappy in bed and only really cared about his orgasm and not mine. I just didn’t want to be alone,” she admitted. Just saying she didn’t want to be alone out loud made her feel stupid. “How pathetic am I that I’m so scared of being alone that I’d stick with someone who cheated on me?”
“But you didn’t,” Brice pointed out. “You left his punk ass once you found out. You’re a strong, sexy woman, Ava. You walked away when you could’ve stayed and settled, but you didn’t. I’m proud of you.” He bent down and kissed her temple.
She felt silly that his words made her ridiculously happy. Electricity spread from her stomach outward to envelop her body. Arousal weighed on her like heated oil, almost a balm on her soul, but it still didn’t make up for what Perry had done to her.
“So what did you like to do that he didn’t?” He waggled his eyebrows at her before he got up and headed to the sink area and began to fill the basin with water.
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him. For a moment her brain dived into the sexy, dirty, filthy places she’d only been able to fulfill with fantasies she’d read about. “Spankings,” she blurted out. Her face, neck, ears, and chest flushed with fire. What harm could it do to tell him that? Nothing would happen. She just wanted to see if she was a weirdo for wanting that.
“Wha—” Brice turned his head to stare at her. “Fuck!” He yanked his hand back from under the stream of water and patted it dry.
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I thought… Shit.” She rushed over to the freezer and grabbed a bag of peas. Ava wasn’t sure why she was sorry, but the words came out nonetheless. She also felt amusement that he’d been so distracted by her confession that he’d hurt himself. That’s what he got for not paying attention.
“Not your fault, sweetheart. My hand is fine, just a bit warm. Now, spankings. Tell me more.” His grin was lascivious, filled with dark delights that made her pussy flutter and her heartbeat tick up a few notches. “Do you want bare-handed? Wooden spoon? Belt? Whip? Flogger? Crop?”
Ava groaned. She couldn’t even blame her outburst on being drunk. Her sex-starved whore had taken over her mouth. There was no taking it back. “Can you just forget I said that? It’s not acceptable, only done in fiction, and I got confused for a second. Why don’t we go get my stuff right now?” She hadn’t met anyone who shared her sexual interests. She’d avoided sites and chat rooms and groups, never having the courage to join up and see if maybe there was hope for her. Her sexual confidence had never been high to begin with. Perry’s disgust had only made her feel worse. How could she expect Brice to understand and accept her when the man she was supposed to marry couldn’t?
She rushed off to the coatrack near the door, grabbed her coat, and shrugged it on with her head down and her focus on the floor. Her body had other ideas, like becoming tight and constricting once more. Her damn bra felt like it was smothering her breasts, and once again her panties had become soaked, just when they’d started to dry a bit.
His silence made her uneasy. She looked over at him and swallowed. Her stomach fluttered as nervous energy surged to the surface. His features were hard once again, and anger glinted in his eyes.
“What did you just say?”
“I’m not going to repeat it. Let’s just get my stuff.”
Brice filled the dishwasher and shut the door. He leaned a hip against the counter and crossed his arms. She watched as his biceps bunched up, stretching his tattoos, and his chest puffed up as well, making her very aware that he was shirtless. Her gaze trailed down his body, memorizing each ridge and dip until she zeroed in on his erection tenting his sweatpants. She swallowed at the girth and length outlined by the soft, worn cotton. Ava wanted to drop to her knees and tease him through the fabric before pulling his pants down and feasting on his thick and long shaft. She loved the idea of a blowjob, so long as it didn’t feel like a chore. Perry had always wanted blowjobs but never reciprocated. Any pleasure she could’ve gotten from the act died instantly. Would Brice demand it or ask or maybe beg? Her lips twitched as she thought of making him plead for her mouth on him.
She shook away those thoughts.
“Wanting to be spanked is normal. I enjoy doling a few out myself. In fact I’d like to bend you over the table and give you one right now for being so damn stubborn. I can see you trying to hide something from me, and I don’t like it. You will tell me what’s going on, Ava. Mark my words. Don’t think you won’t end up in my bed fucking me.” He said the last bit low and husky, a heated promise that cut through her clothes to raise goose bumps on her fevered skin.
This was all too confusing. She couldn’t ignore the deep pulse in her sex or the heat that flared over her ass at just the thought of his hands on her. She tried to hold back the tears of relief at being understood, at finally being accepted for who she was and what she wanted. Brice hadn’t sneered at her or looked at her in disgust. How could she stay away and keep herself safe, do her job, and get the hell out when he said things like that? This was turning into something she couldn’t even begin to define.
There was hurt and pain there, but also desire and need. Brice said all the right things; did he mean them? It seemed like he did. He confused her, distracted her, made her forget who she was and why she was there. She squeezed her eyes shut, pinched the skin of her inner wrist, and allowed the pain to distract her. Could she truly trust a man whose gossip column moniker was “Lady Killer?”
“Not going to talk about this. Get dressed, and um, do something with that thing. It’s an eyesore,” she mumbled and turned away from temptation.
Brice chuckled. “Eyesore? Not with the way you were looking at him,” he purred.
She glanced back at him. Her gaze tracked his fingers as he traced them down the center of his chest, bisected his abdomen, rimmed his navel, then stopped at his waistband. He hooked both his thumbs into the edge and yanked it down. She let out a high-pitched squeak and shut her eyes, but not before she caught sight of his cock: ruddy, thick, precum shining over the wide cap. Her pussy fluttered, and her knees went weak. “Goddamn it, Brice!” she grumbled. Why did he have to test her?
“Not God, honey, but you’ll find that out soon enough. By the way, sometimes I like to walk around naked, so get used to seeing me like this. Although, how can you keep me out of trouble if you can’t even look at me?” Brice’s voice was so close she sucked in a breath and stumbled back into the wall. She hadn’t even heard him move.
She could feel his body heat even through the thick padding of her jacket. She could feel the temperature around her spike. His breath fanned her face; she could smell the spices from the sauce and the tomatoes and pasta. “And don’t think I’ve forgotten about that spanking. You need one, honey, badly. Naughty minx, tormenting me with your lush curves and sexiness. Perry might not have known what he had, but I do. Don’t think you can hide from me. I’ll destroy every ounce of ice and all the walls you try to erect. I may have been stupid in college, letting you go, but now I’m grown up, and I know what I want.”
She sucked in air as he ran his hands over her hips, gripped her curves, and pulled her close. He rocked his pelvis against hers, and she cursed the barrier her jacket and jeans created. She could feel the slide of his thick shaft between the cleft of her ass even through the denim.
Ava let out a shuddering breath when his lips brushed over her pulse point. He nipped and sucked the skin with harsh tugs that would definitely leave a bruise. “You are mine now, and I’m not letting you go, not even after the season is over. We have a lot to catch up on, and I plan on taking my time. I’m going to rub another one out now. You wanna watch? Come into the bathroom. I’ll leave the shower door open.”
He pulled away. Without his support, she slid down the wall, whimpers fell from her lips, fever burned through her veins, and her body shook with restraint. Her pussy throbbed, demanding release. Her clit pulsed for attention. I’m so fucked right now, Ava thought. She wasn’t sure what was up or down or wrong or right. Her world had gone askew, and she couldn’t keep up the pretense of not wanting him.
How can I keep myself from getting hurt when all I want to do is be burned by the desire he’s offering me?
* * * *
Brice knew he’d lost his mind. He’d pressed and pushed, and now she might decide not to stay, but he had to tell her what she was getting into when living with him, even if it would be for a short time. If she came into the bathroom, he knew he’d won; if she didn’t, he’d have to try harder. Just hearing about her asshat of an ex pissed him off. He wanted to show Ava what she’d been missing. That all men weren’t like that; he wasn’t like that. Then she’d blurted out about the spanking. He had no idea where the hell that came from, but he was more than happy to indulge her kinks if that’s what she wanted.
His cock jerked at the thought of seeing his handprint on her ass or thin stripes from a crop. He wanted to know if she was into using toys, even do some BDSM-like scenes with him. Would she like blindfolds? Her hands bound over her head and legs tied to the footboard? He hoped so. There had never been the right lover who’d willingly wanted to try out something beyond vanilla with him. A bit of slap and tickle, fine, but not too hard, nothing that would leave a mark. Brice knew love bites and hickeys would show, but he didn’t care too much. A bit of guilt poked at his conscience. Her father would probably have a fit if he saw it and think Brice was taking advantage. Brice hoped James would be understanding once he explained. The blatant hunger in her dark brown eyes had set his soul alight. But the distance she tried to establish only showed him that he had his work cut out for him. He’d been a coward back then, too young and stupid to recognize what she meant.
