Wakespire (The Weirkey Chronicles Book 7), page 30
Taken off guard, it took Nauda a moment to aim at her again and bind her a second time. She wasn't sure what had happened. Fiyu hadn't broken free of her binding, it had somehow just... slid off her. The second time Fiyu wasn't able to repeat the trick as easily, but she wasn't as firmly bound, no matter how much cantae Nauda pushed down her staff.
"This one..." Fiyu managed to slip free again and got several steps before Nauda caught her. "It is designed to resist techniques that affect my body. Particularly disrupting the organs, or creating poison, or binding. But yours... seems to be difficult to escape."
"I'd hope so, otherwise all the soulcrafting I've done would seem pretty useless." Nauda grimaced as she gripped her staff tighter and tried to keep Fiyu in place. She preferred this test, since there was no chance of injury.
"It is similar to, though more refined than, the techniques you have seen to resist enemy attacks. You have observed them many times when others attempt to resist Theo's fields."
Nauda had to resist frowning and worried that Fiyu would still pick it up in her body language. She didn't want to talk about Theo right now. In fact, she hadn't intended to train with Fiyu at all, but the other woman had asked so plaintively that there had been no real choice.
Regardless of the reasons she'd come, Nauda was enjoying herself. They'd practiced Fiyu's darkness first, then her new defense, and now this immunity technique. Her third floor contained three technique chambers and three enhancement chambers, from what Nauda understood. It was a strong design, given how each room was much larger than Nauda's average chamber, and so they all had an impact. Fiyu's new speed chamber made her nearly as fast as some Authorities, and she'd formally enhanced her Nine Worlds Feast, which gave her surprising stamina.
Eventually, however, it had to end. Once they were both tired, they sat down at the side of the room. There was a bowl of manna there, but Nauda no longer felt hungry despite all the training. They couldn't put it off much longer. It was time for the conversation they had promised during the Wakespire.
"How much do you have left to do before ascending?" Nauda asked. She immediately cursed herself for her cowardice.
"All of my chambers are filled, but they require polish." It was impossible to tell from Fiyu's expression whether she felt the same tension or anything at all. "Up to this point, I have focused solely on my third floor. So I must also complete my pyramid in order to make the ascension possible. If I do not want to cut corners, it is likely to be very close."
"Then... perhaps we shouldn't talk after all. I'd feel bad distracting you during such an important time."
"No, please do." Fiyu turned to her and began twisting her braid in her fingers. "I will be... less distracted after we have spoken. We are still friends, right Nauda?"
"Of course we are." Nauda sighed and dropped her head back against the wall. No more denying it. "Back in the Chasm, I... I know I hurt you. I didn't understand how things looked to you and I was selfish and I should have-"
"Please! You do not need to insult yourself. I have thought long on this and I believe I understand how I offended you. I am very sorry, Nauda."
She "believed" that she understood. Sometimes Nauda wondered if the idea of a relationship was foolish and it would be easier to just remain friends, but she couldn't deny the way her thoughts constantly flowed back to Fiyu. No, she definitely needed to address things now. If she didn't, most likely she would end up hurting feelings by Tatian standards, much less Ichili.
"What I mean to say," Nauda said very slowly, turning over each word in her mind, "is that I wasn't able to think about what you asked. So my answer... wasn't a good one. I was wondering if..."
At that point she finally ran out of words, especially when she heard Fiyu's sharp intake of breath. "You... are not still offended?" Fiyu always spoke softly, but now she barely reached a whisper. "I wanted to ask you one of the most important questions in life... I understand how I made it seem wrong. I thought you would never forgive me for that."
"Fiyu, I can't get you out of my head. I can't count how many times I've thought about that conversation and cursed myself for rejecting you. I just..."
Nauda reached out and clasped Fiyu's hand, even though she knew it wasn't appropriate. To her surprise, Fiyu didn't pull away at all. It appeared that she was blushing, underneath her mask, and she was definitely squirming, but she didn't pull away.
"Does that mean..." Fiyu took a slow breath. "Does that mean you want to be lifemates?"
"I want to be with you, Fiyu, but I don't want to hurt you even more." Their hands felt too hot and Nauda started to pull away, only for Fiyu to maintain the clasp. "If you were a Tatian woman, we'd begin a courtship. But I want you, and I... I'm not sure I know what that means."
Fiyu nodded somberly. "It seems there may be many questions. I care for you very much, but I do not think Ichili emotions work like yours. When you rejected me, I thought that we should never be more than friends. I have been suppressing those thoughts so I could be a good companion."
"Then you don't..."
"I have... not been very successful."
How could that dark smile be so bright? Nauda gripped Fiyu's hands tighter and breathed a sigh of relief. Her heart was pounding and she had the feeling everything was about to get a lot more confusing, but at least they were past the horrible silences and assumptions. It took Nauda a while to even think about what she was going to say, and Fiyu beat her to it.
"We will still travel together no matter what, right Nauda?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then I will stop suppressing that facet of myself." Fiyu finally pulled her hands away and placed them in her lap, but she seemed pleased. "I will search those feelings, and you can also consider me as a potential lifemate. We can discuss any issues before we make our decisions. This is the Ichili way of doing things."
That seemed very formal and cautious, but had Nauda expected anything else? She couldn't get the smile off her face as she responded. "That'll be better than being afraid I'd ruined it forever. But for how long? Do we just... travel together for years? How long does it go on?"
"Do not fear, Nauda. We have already known one another four years, so it will not take so many more years to discover our feelings." She gave a sheepish smile. "That is... slow for Tatian, is it not?"
"A little bit."
"Then what about this: let us first both ascend to Authority. My relatives have always told me that it is wise to reach that point before making other life decisions. After that, we will know if our emotions will endure for all time."
"Well then, let's get back to training!" Nauda pretended to grab her staff and was relieved when Fiyu giggled.
They didn't, of course. They didn't so much as kiss, even though Nauda desperately wanted to try. But she felt as though this conversation had been even more stressful for Fiyu than it had been for her and she didn't want to harm the Ichili woman again.
Truthfully, Nauda was still riding the high of those emotions as she left the room. She didn't know if she had a relationship now, and it didn't sound like a real courtship, but it was something. It was absolutely nothing like Tatian... and neither was Fiyu.
~ ~ ~
Friend Nauda wanted to be lifemates! Fiyu had known that there was emotional tension between them, but she had assumed that it was a strange Tatian instability. The fact that Friend Nauda had also been haunted by their argument and reconsidering her emotions felt like an impossible dream.
The thing that touched her most was that Friend Nauda had taken such pains to try to speak in her manner, to explain her emotions carefully. They were not Ichili emotions, but Fiyu could understand them and even love them. It was dizzying to think that Friend Nauda had only known her for a few years and somehow fallen so deeply in love with her.
Outside the room, where Fiyu walked to drink a glass of water, some doubts began to creep in. She was worried about what Friend Nauda might have assumed about their conversation. It seemed possible that there could be great confusion and sadness between them.
But no. Friend Nauda would speak to her and they could resolve anything. Just the fact that Fiyu had permission to begin considering Friend Nauda as a potential lifemate left her giddy. She walked out to the balcony to order her thoughts.
"You should be careful."
Relative Guchiro had been wrapped in his own stealth technique until that moment. He hadn't dropped it, merely expanded his sphere to include her. Fiyu immediately realized that he had overheard the entire conversation, which left her with strange feelings. Of course it was completely appropriate for an elder relative to be concerned about potential future lifemates. But if she did find a lifemate, then it would mean a new relationship with boundaries even for other relatives...
"Did I seem reckless?" Fiyu asked. Her relative stepped forward and gently smoothed back some of her hair. Underneath his mask, his mouth pressed together tightly.
"You are an adult and you can make your own decisions. But I fear you will be hurt deeply."
"Surely you don't think Nauda could do such a thing! She... she..."
"I saw her sacrifice her body to defend your life on multiple occasions. I do not doubt her passion." Relative Guchiro stared down at her, his eyes terribly sad. "But passion is like a serpent that can easily turn on you. I worry that, even if she has the best of intentions, she will make painful mistakes."
Fiyu drew a careful breath and closed her hands at her sides before responding. "Some things are worth being hurt."
Instead of answering, her relative stepped away to the edge of the balcony. He didn't answer for a long time, staring out over the city without using any of his deeper senses. When he did speak, he sounded different than she had ever heard him.
"I don't hate her, Fiyu. You've found good companions. But they've shielded you from the worst of what other worlds offer." Relative Guchiro didn't move, but his shoulders flexed and his senses reached back to brush against her in concern. "You haven't seen how insane some can be. They believe that stable relationships are boring, and they celebrate breaking lifemate bonds for the sake of temporary passions. They consider these things to be their highest arts and deepest natures."
"That can't be true!" Fiyu knew that she was acting like a child now, bluntly contradicting what her relative told her. But she didn't want to believe what he was saying.
"She did respect the time you need. That counts for something. If she hasn't changed her mind by the time you truly ask the question, then maybe it could work."
"Nauda will not change. You will see."
"Perhaps so." Relative Guchiro finally turned back to face her with a smile underneath his mask. "I meant what I said about you being an adult, Fiyu. Everything I have said is only advice given as a relative."
"And I thank you for it." Maybe there was a bit of childishness left, but Fiyu continued speaking. "I want you to help Nauda."
"What do you mean?"
"She is going to negotiate with the Noveni lineages so that I have more time for soulcrafting, but she will be limited without an Authority. She also lacks elder relatives to assist her in soulcrafting. While I finish polishing my soulhome, I want for you to help her. That is my request... as your relative."
His smile broadened and he touched her shoulder as he passed. "And how could I refuse such a request?"
As he walked away, his stealth technique passed over her body and Fiyu stood alone on the balcony. There was no one visible, but she suddenly felt exposed. She retreated to her room, trying not to think about everything that had been said. Even if she was certain that he would be wrong, the warmth within her had cooled.
Chapter 37
Across numerous fights, Theo's gravitational fields had faced all kinds of opposition. Many opponents had no resistance and could only struggle against the effects. Authorities and other powerful soulcrafters could burn their own energy to keep themselves in place. Demons could resist the core technique itself, and a rare few opponents could render themselves immune to the gravity shift.
For all of that, he'd never actually tried to use a field as a brute force tool. Theo grimaced and kept his hand up even though sweat was rolling down his forehead and back.
On the other side of the room, Isorales hovered in the air. He was burning through his own cantae to keep himself upright despite the gravity bearing down on him. Theo kept pouring cantae into the field, which should have rendered Isorales absurdly heavy, but because he only manipulated gravity via cantae and didn't actually control the fundamental force, it could be resisted with enough power.
Normally, such a simple method would be completely useless in a battle, since Theo would just use the other techniques he'd developed. Here, as training, it was surprisingly useful. Theo remembered having liquid cantae from years and years ago, but there were some tricks he was adjusting to using again. Exerting all of those spiritual muscles was helping him sharpen his edge at the Authority tier.
"It's amazing... you can output so much at Authority..." Isorales sagged and pulled in his wings so they wouldn't crumple. "Okay... that's enough..."
Theo didn't move. He couldn't make the gravitational field any more intense, but his opponent would be feeling the attrition.
"Hey... come on... let up..."
"What if I don't?" Theo asked. He reversed the field abruptly, which slammed Isorales into the ceiling, then flipped it back around. Isorales barely managed to catch himself on the floor and struggled to rise past his knees. His rings clattered to the ground, no longer supported by his cantae.
"You wouldn't..." He was staring at Theo in utter terror, though. Theo couldn't see his own expression, but it must have been believable. After letting Isorales sweat for a little longer, he answered.
"I won't, but what if you fight someone else who will? Not in a contest, not someone who cares about your lineage. Someone who wants to kill you."
"Then... I'll probably die..." Isorales managed a self-deprecating smile, but Theo didn't let up and drove him further to the ground.
Finally understanding, Isorales grimaced and tried to fight back. His body was exhausted and the most he could do was make his bronze rings slide closer to his hands... which Theo realized a second later was actually enough. They rolled together into position in front of Isorales, then shifted upright. A moment later a beam of power slammed into Theo's chest and knocked him into the wall.
Even with his coat protecting him from the blast, it felt like getting punched in the chest. Theo dropped from the dented wall, prepared in case Isorales was angry and planning to attack. But the other man sat forlornly on the floor, checking his rings for damage.
"If it had been a real battle, you would have killed me with something else." Isorales cast him a rueful glance. "I don't know your cantae flow, but you're unnaturally good at switching between techniques."
"I'm impressed you managed to pull together that technique," Theo said as he sat down beside the other man. "But I knew you had it in you."
"Many people have said that sort of thing. They don't have a good track record of being right."
When they'd started training, Theo's only goal had been to get the Noveni man to feel some anger and really exert himself. Maybe, in a small way, he was expecting Isorales to be like Eratius. But of course they were nothing alike. Eratius had been born with nothing and filled himself with pride and anger. Isorales seemed to have been given everything and been left empty.
He wasn't incompetent, though. As far as Theo could tell from their training, he actually had mastery of his soulhome and a strong mind for soulcrafting. His intellect was less a brilliant flood than a subtle current that slipped underneath you and swept your feet when you weren't looking. With a different disposition, he could have been a very dangerous man.
"I've been thinking that someone needed to push you harder," Theo said abruptly, "but now I'm guessing I was wrong. You've been pushed too much, haven't you?"
Isorales chuckled darkly. "I guess you could say that."
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. In fact, I'd like nothing more than to leave and go back to soulcrafting."
"Yeah, I get that impression." Isorales finally finished inspecting his rings for damage and instead lifted one of his wings over his shoulder to massage a bent point. "It's not that complicated. My parents wanted me to be the one to restore our lineage. I was supposed to be the heir worthy of my grandfather's patronage. From the time I could crawl, they told me I was going to be the best."
"And it backfired?"
"It worked brilliantly, right up until it didn't. I was the earliest to soulcraft, the first in my generation to Ruler, and then..." Isorales dug his fingers into his wing briefly, then went entirely slack. "There's one type of resilience that lets you keep going in the face of difficulty. The resilience that it takes to get over a failure turns out to be something very different. When I hit something I couldn't master, I failed and never really recovered."
Now that it was explained directly, Theo could put the entire story together. He probably should have before, he just hadn't been paying enough attention to Isorales. The golden son of the lineage, apparently strong but actually just one blow from crumpling. Not so different from the way Theo had been in his first life, not that he was about to share his own feelings.
"You're afraid I'll let you down." Isorales stared at him. His voice had sounded hurt at first, but Theo realized that it was actually cool analysis.
"You did well enough in the Wakespire," Theo said. After searching through his thoughts a while longer, he decided that he might as well. "Actually, it wasn't that at all. It seemed to me that you're the type who has lots of people telling you that you need to believe in yourself when you actually need someone to slap you in the face."
That got another rueful chuckle. "Maybe. I wanted to say, it's been a relief to work with the three of you. None of you care about the Jadadictus lineage at all."
