“Do you want to go with me?” Patty asked, her voice shrill.

  Lesley focused on her lunchbox. The conversation had suddenly turned awkward. Maybe she should have lied. “It’s nice of you to ask, but . . .well, I wasn’t completely honest before. I won’t be going to the dance.” She forced herself to look at Patty. “With anyone.”

  Patty frowned. “If you’re worried about Mo, don’t be. I talked to her. She doesn’t mind if we go together.”

  “You talked to Mo?” Now her own voice sounded shrill. “When?”

  “I don’t know. Yesterday, I think. Does it really matter? The point—”

  “It matters to me. Did you talk to her in the morning or the afternoon?”

  “After History class, I think.”

  History? That was Mo’s last class of the day. “What did you say?”

  “I said, ‘Mo, do you mind if I ask Lesley to the dance?’ She said, ‘No, go ahead.’”

  Lesley looked at her for a moment, expecting more. “That’s it?”

  Patty let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes.”

  “You must have said more than that.”

  “This is worse than being interrogated by the flaming military! She said she doesn’t mind if we go to the dance together. That’s all that matters.”

  Lesley snapped her lunchbox shut, struggling to control her temper. The last person she’d go to the dance with was a meddling, insensitive girl like Patty. “Well, we won’t be going to the dance together. I’m sure you’re a very nice girl,” she said through clenched teeth, “but if I go to the dance, it’ll be with Mo.”

  Patty’s face fell, but she shrugged. “It was just a thought. We can go another time.”

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “You’re as bad as she is,” Patty shrieked. She jabbed a finger at Lesley. “You and Mo, acting like you’re Chosens. What will you do next, show up at the Reproductive Technology Centre and tell them you want to have a baby? You’re both crazy. Grow up! Stop clinging to each other!”

  “You said the same thing to Mo, didn’t you?”

  “What if I did? It’s pathetic, watching the two of you pretend you’re Joined.”

  “Though I guess if it was me and you rather than me and Mo, that would be okay.”

  Patty stared at her, open-mouthed. Then she found her tongue. “Don’t flatter yourself! Going to the dance with you would have been a bit of fun, nothing more.” She stood and cupped Lesley’s chin in her right hand. “Because you’re such a pretty thing, aren’t you, Lesley?” she cooed. “And a bit of fun is all pretty things are good for.” Smirking, she ran her finger along Lesley’s cheek, then dropped her hand and walked away.

  Lesley grimaced. Next time she went to the bathroom, she’d give her face a good wash. If she wanted to be snotty, she could go to the office and report a violation of Article 442, but the resulting stink would outweigh the benefits, and the accusation would be difficult to support. It would be her word against Patty’s. She glanced around the immediate area. Nobody else had witnessed—

  A familiar figure caught her eye: Mo, standing outside the nearest entrance to the academy. Lesley grabbed her lunchbox and scrambled to get her long legs out from under the picnic table. “Mo!” she called.

  Mo wheeled and pulled open the academy door.

  “Mo!” Lesley shouted, wincing when the corner of the table jabbed into her thigh in her haste to get around it. “Wait! I want to talk to you.”

  Mo disappeared into the academy. Lesley ran to the entrance and yanked the door open. Mo was already at the other end of the corridor.

  “Mo!” She ran after her, almost barreling into a passing student. “Excuse me,” she murmured, her eyes on Mo.

  “Lesley Thompson!” a woman’s voice cracked behind her.

  She inwardly groaned and turned around.

  Instructor Carter strode toward her. “I must have missed the announcement that running is now acceptable within the academy.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “As you should be. What’s your next class?”

  “Literature of the Law.”

  “Which I believe is that way.” Carter pointed in the direction opposite the one Mo had taken. “You can use the remaining ten minutes of your lunch period to review your notes from yesterday’s class. Now go.”

  “I’ll have to go to the common room first to pick up my notes.”

  Carter glared at her. “Lesley, you’re testing my patience.”

  “I’m just asking permission to go to the common room before I go to the classroom.”

  Carter rolled her eyes. “Do I have to spell everything out? Go to the common room, pick up your notes, then go to your Literature of the Law classroom, which, I’ll point out, is right next to the common room. Sit at a desk, open your notebook, and review your notes from yesterday’s class. Breathing, swallowing, and blinking are permitted. Clear?”

  Lesley nodded.

  Carter pointed down the corridor again. “Then go. Now!”

  Since lunch period wasn’t over, the common room was empty when Lesley entered. She slid her lunchbox into an empty slot and bent down to open her satchel, stored on a shelf near the floor. Mo’s knapsack sat next to it. Perhaps she should scribble a quick note, suggest that they meet in their usual spot at the end of the day to talk things out? No, Mo might not find the note until it was too late. More importantly, handling someone’s personal items without permission would be a violation of Article 366. That had never stopped them from slipping notes into each other’s bags before, since they had each other’s permission, but with the mood Mo was in, Lesley didn’t want to risk it. She pulled her notes from her satchel and left.

  Lesley took her usual spot in the front row of the empty classroom and opened her notebook, but all she could think about was Mo. They needed to talk, but when? They had a class together later, but they’d had a class together that morning and Mo had treated her like a stranger, nodding curtly to her as she sat down and collecting her things without a word when class finished. Lesley would likely receive the same treatment, or worse, later. Maybe the academy wasn’t the best place to have the conversation, anyway. Carter may have done them a favour.

  She could beep Mo later, after supper. No, that wouldn’t work. Thursdays were discuss an article night, which meant supper wouldn’t really be over until about nine, and then she’d have to do her homework. Normally she wouldn’t mind; she enjoyed listening to her parents expound on the finer points of a selected article, especially one for which they’d successfully advocated an amendment. Having two advocates to consult when doing her Advanced Law homework didn’t hurt, either. But tonight she’d find it hard to concentrate. She’d have to try, though. She wouldn’t want to upset Mama.

  There was no way around it. Talking to Mo would have to wait. She’d go over to Mo’s tomorrow night; after all, neither of them would be going to the dance. If Mo refused to see her, she’d keep trying until Mo gave in.

  Lesley had to understand why Mo had changed the rules of their relationship based on one conversation with Patty. There had to be something she didn’t know, something that had made Mo receptive to Patty’s poison, and she was determined to find out what it was before it destroyed their relationship. She rubbed her forehead. If it hasn’t already.

  *****

  Mo threw herself onto her bed and tried to clear her mind, but it was no use—the same terrible images monopolized her consciousness. Les and Patty at the picnic table; Patty reaching out and caressing Les’s face; Les staring up at Patty, entranced. And, had she imagined it, or had Patty’s fingers lingered on Les’s face as they’d said good-bye? Mo rolled onto her back and buried her face in her hands. Before her spot at the table had even been cold, Les had moved in another girl, and not just any girl—Patty. Okay, she’d figured Les would find someone else, because that was what Les wanted. But within twenty-four hours? That was all their relationship had been worth? Twenty-four flaming hours? Well, good riddance! Les could have Patty. Mo hoped they’d be very happy together.

  They were probably together right now, walking arm in arm to the dance, laughing at each other’s witty comments and at little Mo and her stupidity. And soon they’d be swinging around the dance floor, Patty sticking her perky breasts under Les’s nose and putting her hands where she had no business putting them. So yeah, good riddance. She was better off without Les. She should celebrate; she could do all sorts of things, now that Les wasn’t holding her back. Like ask others out.

  So why did she feel so lousy? Why didn’t she feel like doing anything? Why couldn’t she get Les out of her mind? Mo squeezed her eyes shut. Because she flaming-well cared about Les, that was why. And now she’d ruined it. Sure, Les eventually would have tired of her and found another girlfriend, but they could have stayed together until that happened.

  No, she was kidding herself. Patty had said Les was only staying around out of kindness, and sure enough, at the first opportunity, Les had started getting cozy with someone else. And who could blame her? Out of the blue, her girlfriend of three years had practically dumped her. Why wouldn’t she move on? But would she have moved on at all if they hadn’t had that conversation on Wednesday? Mo squeezed her eyes shut again. Argamon, she was so confused!

  Someone tapped at the bedroom door. Mo rolled over so she was facing away from it and shouted, “Come in.”

  The door opened. “Are you okay?” Mama asked.

  “I’m fine,” Mo muttered.

  “Are you sure? You didn’t touch your dessert. And it’s not like you to shut yourself in your room. Should I beep a physician?”

  “I’m okay.”

  Silence, then, “Aren’t you going to a dance tonight? Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”

  Mo’s chin quivered. She’d have to explain why Les wouldn’t be coming around anymore. Les and I have decided to cool things for a bit, she imagined herself saying, but only for an instant. She trusted Mama; she didn’t like lying to her, and she didn’t much like lying to herself. “Mama, I think I’ve done something stupid.”

  The door clicked shut. “You haven’t committed a violation, because I would have been notified by now.”

  “It’s nothing like that.”

  “You want to tell me about it?”

  “Yeah.”

  The mattress sank as Mama sat down. A moment later her fingers brushed Mo’s arm. “What did you do?”

  “I told Les I didn’t want to go to the dance with her. But I did want to go to the dance with her.” It sounded even more stupid when she said it out loud.

  “Oh.” Mama paused. “Why did you tell her you didn’t want to go if you really did?”

  “We’re not Chosens.” That wasn’t the only reason. It wasn’t even the main reason. But it was the least embarrassing reason.

  “I don’t understand,” Mama said.

  “We shouldn’t act like Chosens when we aren’t.”

  “How have you been acting like Chosens?”

  Did she have to explain everything? “We’ve been together for a while. And we only see each other.”

  “Oh, Mo.” Mama rubbed Mo’s arm. “So you’re dating, and you only want to date each other right now. You’re seventeen. If you were twenty-four I’d be concerned, but seventeen?” She squeezed Mo’s shoulder and leaned over to touch her cheek to Mo’s. “Don’t worry about it. You’re young. Enjoy yourself. Beep Lesley and tell her you’ll go to the dance after all.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because she’s going with someone else.” Mo’s face crumpled as reality hit. “She . . . another girlfriend . . . I saw them,” she said between sobs.

  Mama straightened and rubbed Mo’s back. “What do you mean? She has another girlfriend already?”

  Mo nodded, sniffling into her hands.

  “When did you tell her you didn’t want to go to the dance?”

  “Wednesday.”

  “And on Friday she has a new girlfriend? That doesn’t sound like Lesley.”

  The mattress squeaked and lifted slightly. Mo heard a drawer slide open. Mama swam into view and handed her a handkerchief. She sat down where Mo could see her this time.

  Mo wiped her eyes and dabbed at her cheeks. “She’s pretty, Mama. It wouldn’t be hard for her to find another girlfriend.”

  “She’s pretty, but she’s not insensitive, or spiteful. Are you sure she’s seeing someone else?”

  Mo’s hand clenched around the handkerchief. “I saw them together. Yesterday. Having lunch.”

  “Yesterday? That’s even worse.” Mama shook her head. “No, I just can’t see it. Have you talked to her about it?”

  “No.”

  “Well, you should.” Mama reached out and touched Mo’s cheek. “If you don’t want to beep her tonight, go see her tomorrow. Talk to her.”

  And apologize for not talking to her in the first place. It would be uncomfortable, but she owed Les that much. Though she’d want to crawl away and die if it turned out Les was seeing Patty, because she couldn’t get Les out of her mind and wanted to be with her all the time. She cared about Les so much—perhaps too much. They weren’t Chosens. Their relationship couldn’t last. Someday, they would have to part. And that terrified her. She couldn’t imagine life without Les. At all.

  Her eyes welled up again. “Mama?”

  “What?”

  “If I ask you a question, will you promise not to get mad at me?”

  “I won’t get mad at you.”

  “Can you fall in love with someone who isn’t your Chosen?”

  Mama’s forehead creased. “We’re talking about Lesley, I presume?”

  Mo nodded. Feeling exposed, she hid behind the handkerchief as she blew her nose.

  Mama tapped Mo’s nose. “See? Your Mama’s brilliant.”

  Mo smiled through her tears. “Well, can you?”

  “Of course you can. Why would I get mad at you for asking that? Level Four and Five students ask me that all the time.”

  “Really?” Mo would never dream of asking an indoctrinator such a personal question. She inwardly snorted. What was she doing right now? Though this indoctrinator was her mama first, an indoctrinator second. Maybe that was why it felt so personal.

  “I’ll tell you what I tell them,” Mama said. “The Chosen Council doesn’t find your only match, it finds your best match. So yes, you can fall in love with someone who isn’t your Chosen.” She wagged a warning finger. “But it should only happen before you’re Joined. Never after. Anyone who falls in love with someone who isn’t their Chosen after they’re Joined is weak in the Way. And we know what happens to those weak in the Way.”

  “I know. I just wondered if it’s possible at all.”

  “Most Rymellans date before their notifications, just like you’re doing. So don’t worry about it. Enjoy your time with Lesley. You’re a long way from twenty-five,” Mama said, brushing a stray hair off her face.

  The Chosen ring on Mama’s third finger caught the light. The names Anderson and Middleton were engraved on it. Mo hoped the names Middleton and Thompson would be engraved on hers. It wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. “Mama, I know I keep saying Les isn’t my Chosen, but she could be, couldn’t she?”

  Mama’s face darkened. “No. You don’t want to start down that path, young lady. You have to trust the Chosen Council.”

  “I do.”

  “But you feel so strongly for Lesley, she must be your Chosen. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?”

  Mo didn’t answer.

  “That’s a mistake. Remember, the Chosen Council considers all the same-oriented girls around your age when it chooses your mate. It has the entire planet to choose from, not just those who live in our sector. And the girl it chooses won’t only be the best girl for you, but for everyone, because you’ll be sure to have children strong in the Way.”

  “I know, Mama.” But there was still a minuscule chance it could be Les. She’d try not to hope it was Les, but it could be Les.

  “When the Chosen Council summons you, you have to accept your Chosen.” Mama playfully nudged Mo’s arm. “And that’s a lot easier when you don’t have someone else in mind.”

  “I might be a Solitary.” After all, two of her three older siblings were.

  “That’s true, and it won’t be long before we find out if you are. But you’re young, Mo. If it turns out you have a Chosen, you won’t be summoned for at least seven years. So don’t worry about your feelings for Lesley right now. A lot can happen in seven years. Beep her tomorrow, okay?”

  Mo nodded. She dreaded talking to Les. Not only would she feel like a complete idiot, she wasn’t sure Les cared anymore. But she’d beep her. She’d apologize, at least. And if she had to watch Les and Patty making lovey-dovey eyes at each other at the academy, that would be her punishment for listening to an airhead like Patty in the first place.

  Mama leaned over and hugged Mo, then stood. “I saved your pudding for you. Why don’t you come downstairs?”

  “I’ll come down in a few minutes.” Mo rolled onto her back. “Thanks for saving it.”

  Mama smiled. She left, closing the door behind her.

  Mo turned onto her side again and sighed. She hadn’t planned to fall in love with Les. During her Level Three at the Indoctrination Academy, when the indoctrinators had first started teaching the Chosen Tradition, she’d vowed not to fall in love with anyone but her Chosen, since there didn’t seem much point. But then she’d gone ahead and fallen for Les during their Level Four. Stupid, stupid, stupid! And why Les? They’d grown up together, knew everything about each other. You’d think they would have been sick of each other. Why couldn’t they have stayed friends? Then she wouldn’t care about Patty, and she wouldn’t care whether Les turned out to be her Chosen.

  If she had a Chosen.

  In ten months, she’d find out if the Chosen Council had found a match. Les would find out in five. Mo swallowed. If it turned out Les was a Solitary but she wasn’t, or vice versa, they’d know for sure they were doomed. She snorted. They were already doomed—she’d seen to that. She was lying here worrying that Les wouldn’t be her Chosen, and Les was probably hoping with everything she had that she wasn’t!

 

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