Snow is Falling, page 22
Not wanting to dwell on what she couldn’t change, Sadie finished her tea and treated herself to a long soak in the bath before making calls to first Jake and then Katie to wish them a merry Christmas. ‘Look at what you’re missing,’ Katie said, wincing as another piercing scream filled the air.
A frazzled-looking Liam appeared in the shot, a red-faced and very unhappy Isla under one arm, a dolly with a missing arm in the other. ‘Hi, Sadie,’ he called out over his daughter’s screams. ‘Katie, love, any idea where the superglue is?’
Sadie covered her mouth to hide a smile. ‘Oh dear. Look, my darlings, I am going to leave you to it. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Lots of love and merry Christmas.’
‘Merry Christmas, Mum, love you, sorry!’ The screen turned black and Sadie set her phone aside with a smile and a shake of her head. No, she was absolutely not missing out on anything.
She’d just finished dressing and was fiddling with her hair in front of the mirror when there was a knock on her door. Pulling it open, she was confronted with a smiling Avery holding a little package wrapped in silver paper, Theo and Dylan standing just behind her. ‘Happy Christmas!’ Avery declared, thrusting the present at her.
Accepting the gift with a smile, Sadie stepped back. ‘Thank you. Would you like to come in for a minute?’
Avery walked past her, eyes looking everywhere as she checked out the room. ‘It’s a lot different from ours.’ She made a beeline for the window. ‘Oh, you have a lovely view over the gardens!’
‘Hey, Sadie,’ Theo said as he passed her.
‘Hello, darling, merry Christmas.’ The endearment slipped out and she blamed it on the fact she’d been speaking to her own children earlier. He didn’t seem to mind, giving her a shy smile before heading over to where his sister was still looking out of the window.
‘Avery wanted to bring you something she picked up at the market the other day,’ Dylan said by way of explanation after she rose up on tiptoe to accept a kiss from him.
‘It’s fine.’ She closed the door and turned back to him. ‘It’s more than fine, it’s lovely. I’ve got something for each of you,’ she said, pointing towards the coffee table. ‘I was going to bring them down later but this is probably a better idea.’
They settled on the sofa and chairs, Avery’s eyes gleaming when Sadie offered her a flat parcel wrapped in shiny red paper. ‘What is it?’
‘Open it and find out,’ Sadie said with a laugh. Avery ripped the paper open, letting out a squeal of delight at the set of liquid eyeliner pens. ‘I texted Charlie for her advice and she said these are the same as the ones she used when she did your make-up for the murder-mystery night.’
‘I love them, thank you!’ Avery jumped out of her seat to throw her arms around Sadie’s neck.
Sadie accepted the enthusiastic hug, her heart full of affection for this sweet, open-hearted girl. ‘Your turn,’ she said, handing a slightly larger package to Theo once Avery had abandoned her to go and play with the eyeliner in front of the mirror.
‘Thank you, you didn’t have to.’ He was much more careful with the wrapping, peeling back the Sellotape from each end before folding the halves of the paper back. ‘Oh, wow.’
‘I hope it’s the right size,’ Sadie said as Theo lifted out a Peaky Blinders-style cap. ‘I remembered you said you wanted to get one. The stall owner said you can exchange it if it’s not right.’
Theo put it on, pulling the brim down on one side so it covered one eye. ‘What do you reckon?’
‘Looks good,’ Dylan said. ‘What do you say?’
‘Thanks, Sadie!’ Theo leaned across and pressed a quick kiss on her cheek. ‘You’re the best.’
‘Is that for me?’ Dylan pointed at the small box she was holding in her hands.
She stared down at it for a second. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she was worried she might have overstepped. Well, it was too late to change her mind. ‘There you go,’ she said, thrusting it into his hands.
He turned the box around with a quizzical smile then slipped the ribbon off and opened the lid. ‘Christ, Sadie.’
She closed her eyes for a second as heat blazed in her cheeks. She’d got it wrong, stuck her nose into business that wasn’t hers. ‘I’m sorry, it’s too much, isn’t it?’ In a panic she tried to snatch the box back.
Dylan lifted it out of reach, shaking his head. ‘No, no, don’t you dare apologise.’ He sounded choked and his eyes were glistening as he lifted out one of the delicate silver cufflinks she’d had Carrie-Ann engrave with the Travers family crest. ‘How did you know?’
She shrugged, feeling a little tearful herself. ‘I asked Tasha for a copy of the design. I just wanted you to have something to mark your visit home.’
‘They’re perfect.’ Their eyes met. You’re perfect, he mouthed silently.
Sadie pressed a hand over her galloping heart. Oh, goodness, what was the man doing to her? What were all of them doing to her?
Avery bounced over, two exaggerated wings of eyeliner stretching on either side of her lids. ‘You look like an Egyptian goddess!’ Sadie said with a laugh.
‘That’s coming off before we go downstairs for lunch,’ Dylan said, making his daughter roll her eyes in disgust.
‘You don’t get it, Dad.’
‘Oh, I get it all right and the answer’s still no.’
Avery pouted and Sadie leaned towards her. ‘We’ll wash it off in a minute and I’ll help you do it again.’
Avery brightened in an instant. ‘Now it’s your turn to open your present.’ She snatched the package Sadie had set down and thrust it into her hands.
Sadie unfastened the paper and found herself staring at the back of a silver-edged photo frame. Turning it over with shaky hands, she gasped at the photo. It was of the four of them framed under a glittering arch of white fairy lights. Sadie was standing next to Dylan, his arm around her waist, his other arm around Theo’s shoulders. Avery was on Sadie’s other side, their arms linked together. Rowena had taken it the night they’d walked around the illuminated trail. ‘We wanted to give you something to remember us by,’ Avery said in a quiet voice.
‘As if I could forget you,’ Sadie replied, reaching out to cup the girl’s cheek. ‘Thank you, I’ll treasure it always.’
‘You should come back to Florida with us,’ Avery burst out.
‘Avie!’ Dylan sounded as shocked as Sadie felt and she knew this was the first he’d heard anything about it.
Avery spun to face her father. ‘What? I’m just saying that it’s clear you two really like each other and Theo and I really like Sadie too. Why can’t she come back and visit with us?’
‘We’ll talk about this later.’ Dylan blew out a breath. ‘Sadie, I’m sorry, that wasn’t fair to put you on the spot like that.’
‘I didn’t mean to upset anyone.’
Avery’s face had gone red and Sadie felt sorry for her. She held out a hand. ‘It’s okay, sweetheart, I’m not upset. You just took me by surprise, that’s all. And if things were different then it would be lovely to spend more time with you all, but I’ve got my own family and I need to go back to them.’
‘But you and Daddy really like each other—’
‘Enough, Avery.’ Dylan stood. ‘Come on, let’s go and wash your face and put our presents away.’ He put an arm around Avery’s slumped shoulders and steered her towards the door. ‘We’ll see you downstairs in a bit, okay?’ he said to Sadie as he urged the kids out in front of him.
‘Okay.’ Sadie reached out and placed a hand on his chest. ‘Don’t give her a hard time. It’s not her fault we’ve given her the wrong idea. We should’ve been more careful.’
Dylan stared at her for a long moment before he nodded once and turned away. Sadie closed the door and once again found herself needing the support of the wall to hold herself up. Oh God, how had they managed to make such a mess of things?
30
By the time he’d convinced Avery that she hadn’t ruined everything, the thick black eyeliner was smeared around her eyes so much she looked like a sad little panda. Dylan took her into the bathroom, sitting her on the edge of the bath while he ran a flannel under the hot tap. Holding her chin, he wiped the mess from her face then pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. ‘There you go, all better.’
‘I’m really sorry, Dad.’ Her voice gave a telltale wobble and Dylan crouched in front of her and took her hands, shaking them gently.
‘Hey, no more tears, okay? I’m not mad at you and neither is Sadie. Remember how she said that if things were different it would be a lovely idea? I know it came from a place of kindness, darling, and Sadie understands that too.’
‘But if you like each other then you should be able to spend more time together,’ Avery protested.
‘We do like each other, but it’s simply not possible, darling.’
‘Why not?’
Dylan didn’t have it in him to argue the point any more, mainly because a large part of him agreed with her. ‘Come on, let’s try your eyeliner again and then we can go downstairs and see everyone. You don’t want the rest of the family to know you’ve been crying, do you?’ She shook her head. ‘That’s my girl.’
With Theo’s help, they found some make-up tutorials on YouTube and soon the upset was forgotten as the three of them pulled faces in front of the mirror and practised putting on the eyeliner. ‘You look great, Dad,’ Avery said between giggles.
‘A smoky eye really suits you,’ Theo said, sounding exactly like one of the girls from the video.
Dylan tilted his head as though considering his reflection seriously. ‘Do you know what? I think you’re right. I’m keeping it on.’
‘Daddy!’ Avery burst out laughing again.
Dylan caught Theo’s reflection and sent him a ghost of a wink. ‘I think I’ll keep mine on too,’ Theo declared. ‘And I’m wearing my hat.’
And so somehow the three of them ended up walking into the lounge with matching cat-eye liner. They earned themselves a few raised eyebrows, but when Dylan worked his way across the room to where Sadie was sipping champagne and chatting to Marcus, she didn’t say anything, just gave him a knowing smile as Avery slipped between them to curl an arm around Sadie’s waist. Sadie returned the hold and Dylan watched her hand move in slow circles over his daughter’s back, soothing and reassuring her. When a server passed with a tray full of fizzing glasses, Dylan helped himself to one and asked the girl if she could fetch them a couple of Buck’s fizzes. ‘Heavy on the orange juice, though, yeah?’
She nodded. ‘I’ll be back in a minute.’
When she returned he handed them to Avery and Theo with a warning look. ‘Sip it slowly and it’s back on juice or soda after this, okay?’ They’d had a little bit of champagne at Jen and Eric’s wedding reception and been fine. He was sure both he and Jen would have to deal with some foolish behaviour as the kids grew older, but they’d reasoned that allowing the children to try a little bit now and then under proper supervision would lessen their curiosity. Canapés were passed around next, in lieu of cold starters, one of the servers explained when Dylan shook his head. ‘Oh, well, in that case.’ He helped himself to a miniature toad-in-the-hole.
The rest of the family arrived for lunch, including Monty, who was looking very smart – for him – in clean jeans, a dress shirt and a bright red bow tie. Dylan didn’t miss the way he clung to Alice’s hand, as though afraid if he let go he’d lose her again. Silly old fool. He’d come so close to throwing everything away. As the clock ticked past one, the servers circulated once more, this time with empty trays, and began gathering up glasses. Dylan was happy to surrender his half-drunk champagne, which had grown warm in his hand. A high-pitched hum had heads turning towards the door, including his. Dressed in full Highland regalia, a piper stood there. Silence fell as he began to play, the gathered guests parting as he marched in slow time around the room and back towards the door.
Ziggy offered his arm to Daisy and the two of them followed the piper, leading everyone from the lounge and along the corridor to the ballroom. The tables had been set out in the same arrangement as for the murder-mystery night, although they looked even more impressive with decorated centrepieces and crackers laid across each plate. The family mixed and mingled in, sitting in couples at different tables so all the guests had a chance to talk to them. The piper had disappeared towards the kitchen, but the sound of his pipe could soon be heard coming back up the corridor and this time when he appeared he was followed by a line of staff, each person carrying a silver salver full of food. The chef and his assistant came in last, bearing a huge bronze turkey on a platter between them. They completed a circuit between the tables before quickly dispersing behind a long serving counter with heat lamps suspended over it to keep the food warm. The piper departed to a round of applause and they were led table by table to the counter to choose whatever they wanted from the selection on offer.
Much later they were lingering over coffee and mince pies, everyone too full to move even the few steps it would take to go back to the lounge. Avery’s head lolled for a second and Dylan caught her around the shoulders before she managed to fall asleep. ‘You okay?’
She nodded. ‘I think I ate too much, though.’
‘I think we all ate too much. Do you want to go and have a lie down?’
‘That sounds like a good idea,’ Sadie said, getting to her feet. ‘I keep telling myself I should go for a walk, but it’s getting dark already.’ Dylan checked his watch. It was after four so they’d been sitting there for the best part of three hours.
‘Come on, let’s make a move.’
Stevie was waiting for them by the door. ‘There’ll be a light supper in the lounge between six and eight,’ she said, earning herself a chorus of groans.
‘I never want to eat again,’ Theo said, hands clutching his belly.
Dylan steered them upstairs, Sadie just behind them. When they reached the landing he turned to her. ‘Can I come to you later?’
‘Of course.’
Once the kids were settled in their rooms, Dylan kicked off his shoes and lay back on his bed. He was tired after the late night and too much food but he felt too wired to sleep. Though he’d done his best to enjoy lunch, two words had been bouncing around his head – why not?
It was as if Avery had opened Pandora’s box and now the idea had been spoken aloud he couldn’t let it go. He understood that Sadie needed to get home and see her family, but that didn’t mean that when she left they had to say goodbye forever. If it was down to money, then she didn’t have to worry about that because he would cover the cost of an aeroplane ticket without thinking twice about it. It wouldn’t be easy and it would mean going weeks, probably months, without seeing each other, but he was willing to try if she was. Even if things didn’t work out in the long run, wouldn’t it be worth the risk on the off chance it did?
He was still mulling over how to raise the subject when he knocked on Sadie’s door later that evening. When she opened it wearing nothing but a bathrobe and a very welcoming smile, the well-rehearsed words vanished from his brain and they only came back to him much later as they lay tangled in the sheets. Sadie’s fingers were tracing a slow, distracting path up and down the inside of his arm and Dylan was contemplating whether he had it in him to persuade her to stroke other bits of him when she spoke. ‘Do you know what I keep wondering?’ she mused.
Dylan rolled onto his side. ‘What?’
‘What do you think Millie the Minx did exactly with a shot glass, a golf ball and a peacock feather?’
He stared at her for a long moment then burst out laughing. ‘I have no idea, but now I really want to know if we can work it out.’ The logistics failed them, but they had a great time trying and Dylan didn’t think he’d ever laughed so much in his life. ‘God, Sadie, give me half a chance and I could fall in love with you.’
He’d been half joking but, instead of laughing, she turned and buried her face in his shoulder. ‘Don’t say that.’
Cupping her face, Dylan coaxed her to look at him. ‘Why not if it’s true?’
She shook her head. ‘You know why. This can’t be, Dylan, we both agreed that from the start.’
‘I know it’s a lot to think about and there’s a million reasons for us to walk away, but none of them are as good as the one reason to try.’
Sadie swallowed hard enough he saw her throat bob. ‘And what’s that?’
‘Because we both want to.’
She closed her eyes and dropped back against her pillow. ‘We can’t always get what we want, though.’
He propped himself up on his elbow to stare down at her. ‘Why not? Look, if it’s about the money, I can cover the travel costs.’
‘It’s not just the money, is it? We have too many responsibilities, family, jobs.’ She ticked each item off with her fingers. ‘And when would we see each other? Once or twice a year at best. What’s the point in that?’
‘But that wouldn’t be forever. Once the kids are older, I’ll have more time…’
‘To do what? Give up the life you’ve built over the past thirty years to shack up with me in a pokey little two-up, two-down?’ Tears glistened on the ends of her lashes as she reached up to stroke his cheek. ‘If we were twenty I’d take your hand and run anywhere in the world you wanted to take me, but we’re not, and I can’t. I’m sorry. We can still be friends.’
‘Can we? Is that honestly enough for you? Because it sure as hell isn’t enough for me!’ He didn’t mean to snap at her, but how could she give up on this so easily?
Her fingers stilled against his cheek. ‘I’m sorry you feel that way. I never meant to hurt you, I never meant for any of this to happen, we just got carried away in the moment.’
Dylan closed his eyes against the pain welling in his chest. ‘You’re not even willing to try.’
