Valor, Variant - 2: A Dark Genetic Manipulation Romance, page 3
“And there’s one SOT team of assassins, just like us, but female. If you decide you don’t want to take no for an answer, I suggest you focus your attentions there. We’ll just call you Mary after they’re done with you,” Ice said with a cold grin.
“Just remember, no means no, and if you push and upset our females or make them feel unsafe, you will be punished. We have laws and penalties, just like every other community,” Law said.
“And what if they’re interested in us?” Sin asked.
“More power to you, then. There are some females among us who are welcoming. There are some who are employed here and never went through the trauma as well. Some are married to males who are employed by us. One in particular is mated to another Variant. You met her… Nina,” Roar said. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t even look in her direction. I’m totally convinced Lethal is the most violent, if you know what I mean.”
“Are we kept here forever?” Honor asked.
“No, you’re not kept. We only insist you go through the process of decompressing here. Acclimate to being your own male. After you’ve been checked out and you have no health issues as a result of the testing performed on you, and it’s apparent you’re not a danger to yourself or others, if you want to return home — if you know where home is, or if you just don’t want to be here, you can go. Just know that all it takes is a phone call and we’ll be there for you to offer support in any way you may need,” Roar said.
“Fine, I got the gist of it. I’m hungry,” Sin said.
“Let’s get some blood work done, to get a feel for your state of health. Then you can go to the cafeteria which is…”
“Right there,” Sin said, pointing it out as they passed it.
Law looked at Sin and Sin tapped the side of his nose. “Smells good.”
“It is good. General Ferriday sees to that,” Law answered.
“Don’t feel like giving blood,” Honor grumbled.
“Then you don’t have to, but we’d prefer that you do. We have no idea what chemicals and drugs they used on you. It helps us help you,” Roar said.
“Don’t want to,” Honor said, rubbing the inside of his arm.
“Okay, then. Ice will show you to your barracks. If you change your mind, let us know,” Law said.
Then Law turned to the first male. “What about you?” he asked, turning to Sin.
“Nurses draw the blood?” Sin asked.
“They do,” Law answered.
“I always loved me some nurses. Lead on. They take my blood and I’ll take their hearts,” Sin said. He watched as Ice led Honor away from them, toward what was obviously a barracks that sat on the right hand side, closest to a building marked as a supply house. He watched as they disappeared inside the building.
“Is that where I’m bedding down, too?” Sin asked.
“No, I think it’d be best if you two stayed apart. You’re staying in one of the barracks over there,” Law said, pointing to the left.
“Yeah, me, too. Be glad to be rid of his fucking judgmental ass,” Sin said.
“He part of your squad?” Law asked.
“Hell, no! Opposing squads,” Sin answered. “Either they ate or we did.”
“Where are your other men?” Law asked.
“Waller took them, I’m guessing,” Sin said with a growl.
“We’ll find them,” Roar said confidently.
“Good,” Sin said. “They deserve to be found.”
“So you actually care,” Roar said, surprised that behind Sin’s big, bad, selfish exterior was a male that cared about his squad.
Sin pinned Roar with a cold stare. “Of course I fucking care! Everything I’ve done is because I fucking care!”
“After you settle in, maybe you could spend a little time talking to our people. You may be able to contribute some information we don’t have yet, help us track more of our people down and get them back here with us,” Roar said.
“Yeah, whatever. I don’t mind talking,” Sin answered.
“Come on, let’s get you to medical, sooner you’re done there, the sooner we can get to the rest of the process, then show you around and let you get on with getting settled in,” Law said.
“Let’s do it,” Sin answered, wearing his signature grin again.
Chapter 3
Ice led Honor over to the set of barracks that was set nearest the supply store. “That’s where you can get whatever you need… clothing, boots, shoes, even food if you transition to an apartment and feel like cooking for yourself.”
“Scrubs?” Honor said condescendingly.
“No. Jeans, teeshirts, shorts, uniforms if you choose to become active with any of the SOTs we have here, or work on site. It’s up to you. If you want something that’s not here, have a phone or a tablet issued to you and order it on line. It’ll be delivered to your door,” Ice said.
“What exactly is an SOT team?” Honor asked.
“Strategic Offensive Team,” Ice answered. “They go in, bring others out.”
As they entered the barracks a couple of different males lifted their chins in greeting to Ice as he walked down the rows of beds until he found one that was clearly unoccupied. “This is you. Once you start to accumulate your shit, you can store it in there,” Ice said, pointing to an aluminum storage unit with shelves on the bottom and doors at the top to conceal whatever was stored inside it.
“’Sup?” a deep voice said from behind them.
Honor turned to see a big male with dark hair pulled back at the nape of his neck. He seemed to be perennially tanned and had dark eyes.
“’Sup,” Ice answered.
Honor didn’t speak, but he inclined his head.
“This is Brutal. He’s our head of security,” Ice explained.
“Security?” Honor asked.
“Every safe community needs to have security from our own as well as from outsiders. It all runs through me,” Brutal said.
Honor nodded.
“Who are you?” Brutal asked.
“One… Honor,” Honor said, correcting himself.
“How long you been out?” Brutal asked, walking over.
“What time is it?” Honor quipped.
Brutal huffed a laugh. “You came in with Lethal’s team?”
“Yes,” Honor said.
Brutal nodded. “Seems like a culture shock, and to a degree it’s an adjustment, but it’s not all that hard to let yourself relax. We’re all products of the same damn thing you just escaped. The only difference between us is what facility we were in, and how long we were captive until freed.”
Honor gave another nod of understanding.
“You need something, let me know. In the meantime, best advice I can give you is to get involved in something. You sit around thinking of shit, you’re going to think of more shit and end up more fucked up than you realized. Keep yourself busy,” Brutal said.
“Busy how?” Honor asked.
“Come to work for me. Sign up to be a delivery driver. Join the construction crews. Sign up to work the ranch — cows, horses and such. If you like to cook, sign on at the mess hall.”
“Cafeteria,” Ice corrected.
“The building we fucking eat in,” Brutal said with a smirk. “Anyway, point is, there’s all kinds of jobs available. You could work in any of the buildings we have here on site, or you can join a rescue or assassination team,” Brutal said.
“What’s Lethal’s team?” Honor asked.
“Both. SOT, Strategic Offensive Team. They’re not particular as long as they are constantly out on mission,” Brutal said.
“I’ll think about it. Thanks for the advice,” Honor said.
“Take a little time, wrap your head around the fact that you’re able to make your own choices, then pick something, or you could just hang around and play football or swim all day. There are those that excel in that as well,” Brutal said. “Anyway, showers are over there,” he said, pointing to the opposite end of the barracks. “Supply store is next door, you don’t need money, just tell them your name and they’ll make a record of who the clothing went to. And that’s about it. I’m off to grab something to eat,” he said, turning away from them to change his shirt. “Glad you’re free, man,” he said, then walked out of the barracks.
“You want I should walk you into the Supply Store?” Ice asked.
Honor shook his head. “I got it,” he said.
“I’m out, then. If you need something, ask somebody, or look me up. Most everybody is easy to read, if they don’t want to be bothered, it’s pretty clear. Most will help you out if you need it, though.”
“Alright,” Honor said.
Ice left Honor alone in the barracks, and Honor watched until he was gone, closing the door behind himself as he left. Honor looked around and then sat down on his bunk. He brought his hands up and scrubbed them up and down his face. He didn’t know how he’d ended up in the facility he was in… it just seemed he’d always been there. He had no idea who he was, or how to get back to wherever that person was from, or if he even wanted to know. All he knew was that he’d gone from captive, fighting for survival, to total freedom to make his own choices. He looked around again, then down at himself. The first thing he wanted was to get out of the fucking scrubs he’d lived in for the only part of his life he remembered. He got up, and strode toward the exit.
Stepping out into the sunshine, he headed for the supply store.
~~~
Steel stood at the stove, frying burgers and fries in the same skillet.
“Why are you cooking them together?” Scorn asked.
“Because it makes the potatoes taste better,” Steel answered.
“Because they’re full of beef fat!” Scorn exclaimed.
“Then don’t fucking eat them,” Steel said incredulously.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to eat them!” Scorn answered.
“Then quit bitching. Damn!” Steel said. “Or cook your own damn food, or go to the cafeteria. Just shut up!”
“You shut up,” Scorn answered, walking over and reaching around Steel to snag one of the fries he’d already put on the paper towels he’d stacked on a plate to drain.
“Hey! Quit eating my greasy fries,” Steel said, slapping at his hand with his spatula.
“I can eat ‘em if I want to,” Scorn answered, popping another in his mouth.
“Can you both just shut up?” Valor said, standing up from the couch and stalking out of the living room into his bedroom.
“What’s his deal?” Scorn asked. “Acts like he’s all perfect and everything.”
“He pretty much is. Usually, anyway,” Lethal answered.
“He doesn’t sleep well lately,” Nina said, sitting on the floor beside the coffee table as she took her weapon apart and cleaned it before reassembling it.
“Something’s off there,” Steel said.
“He’s fine,” Lethal said.
“I agree with you,” Nina said to Steel.
“He’s alright,” Feral said, walking out of the bedroom he shared with Valor.
“You sure?” Steel asked.
“Of course, I’m sure. I share a room with him. If there was a problem, I’d tell you. Nina’s right,” Feral said. “He’s just not sleeping. Not getting enough rest and it’s wearing on him.”
“Where you going?” Scorn asked, one eyebrow raised as he regarded Feral in a skin-tight swimsuit, with a towel around his neck.
“Swimming,” Feral said. “And to make all the poor bastards out by the pool feel even worse about themselves than they already do,” he said with a wicked grin as he flexed his muscles.
“Yeah, ‘cause they care what you look like,” Scorn answered.
“Naw, but I still make ‘em nervous. I kinda like that,” Feral said.
“Ever the shit-stirrer,” Steel said.
“No! That’s Scorn. All I do is hang around, enjoy the sun and the water and make everybody wonder what I’m looking at and why I’m so quiet,” Feral said, as he slipped on black lensed sunglasses. “Later, my dudes,” he said, opening the door before turning around and facing the room. “And for the record, Valor can hear every fucking word you say while you’re talking about him like he can’t. And, it ain't nobody’s business but his if he keeps dreaming about that woman and don’t want to sleep so he doesn’t have to see her again.” Feral walked out of the door and closed it behind himself.
Everybody sat there, looking at each other.
“What woman?” Scorn asked.
Steel shrugged.
“I know what woman,” Lethal said, getting up off the couch, and heading toward the bedroom Valor and Feral shared.
Lethal tapped on the closed door.
“What?” Valor asked.
“Want to talk to you,” Lethal said.
“I’m trying to rest,” Valor answered.
“Shame I don’t care,” Lethal said, opening the door and walking in before closing it behind himself.
Valor lay on his bed, his back and head propped up on half a dozen pillows while he typed away on his laptop.
“Thought you were trying to rest,” Lethal said.
“I am,” Valor answered.
“You’re working.”
“No, I’m not. I’m searching the internet,” Valor said.
“For what?” Lethal asked.
“You have to know everything?” Valor asked.
“When whatever is going on with you makes you uncharacteristically intolerant of everything around you? Yes, I do need to know everything,” Lethal answered.
“It’s not a big deal, Lethal. I’m fine.”
“You’re not. You’re changing,” Lethal said, taking a seat on Feral’s bed.
“So? People change all the time,” Valor said, not looking up at Lethal as he continued typing on his laptop.
“You don’t. You’re steady, reliable, dependable.”
“And?” Valor asked.
“And when you’re not, I get concerned. It’s my responsibility to keep this team well oiled and ready for whatever may come. If one of you is going through personality changes, I need to know why and if it’s going to affect the rest of us.”
Valor looked up from his computer for the first time, but said nothing.
“And even if it weren’t that cut and dried… you’re a friend. I need to know you’re dealing with whatever shit has fucked you up,” Lethal said.
Valor sighed noisily and went back to his laptop.
Lethal shrugged and lay back on Feral’s bed, crossing his arms behind his head.
“What are you doing?” Valor asked, irritation clear in his voice.
“I got all day to lie around here and wait for you to decide to talk. The thing about being me, is I get to run my own team. And I decided we’d be off rotation for a few days unless an emergency comes up. So, I’ll just relax here and wait for you to come clean with whatever’s bothering you.”
“Why? Feral already told you more than he should have.”
“I want to know more,” Lethal said.
“Like what?” Valor asked, slamming his laptop closed.
“Like why you’re so angry. Like why you just slammed your favorite fucking laptop without regard to it being damaged or not. Like why you’re so irritated that someone, namely your team leader, dares to be concerned about your welfare and the change in your personality.”
Valor set his laptop aside and ran the fingers of one hand through his short cropped hair. “I don’t know,” he answered truthfully. “I just feel like I have no patience left. It’s like… I don’t know how to explain it.”
“Start with whatever it is,” Lethal said, sitting up and watching Valor closely. They’d been trained to read people, and Valor was clearly not the same, calm, self-assured male he’d been in the past.
“Feral was right. I can’t sleep. I don’t want to sleep. The fatigue is wearing on me. That’s all it is,” Valor said.
“Why don’t you sleep, Valor?” Lethal asked.
At first there was no answer, then very quietly, his voice intentionally pitched low enough that no one else could hear, he softly confessed. “She won’t let me.”
Lethal raised an eyebrow. “She who?” he asked, lowering his voice as well to honor the privacy that Valor apparently wanted.
“I don’t know,” Valor said, shaking his head. “I close my eyes she’s there. Her face smiling and happy, running from me in the sunshine. Then the next moment she’s screaming, tearing at her own hair, screaming for me to come back for her, but it’s not my name she’s calling. Sometimes she’s running after me begging me to stop, to take her with me, and no matter how badly I want to stop or run back to her, I can’t. I just keep racing away from her,” he said, staring at the comforter covering his bed. Then he looked up to meet Lethal’s gaze. “And it fucking kills me. My heart feels like it dies every fucking time. I can’t do it anymore, Lethal. I just can’t watch her suffer anymore. So I don’t sleep. And when I do, I set an alarm for fifteen minutes, so I’ll wake before I start dreaming. And even then sometimes, she sneaks into my head before the alarm goes off.”
Lethal sat there thinking about all Valor had told him. “What’s the name she calls out?”
“I can never remember it,” Valor said.
“Do you have any idea who she is?” Lethal asked.
Valor looked directly at Lethal, but didn’t say anything.
“I don’t know if that’s a no or a yes,” Lethal said.
“Technically, no. I don’t. But in here…” Valor said, slamming his hand against his chest, “she’s mine. She’s mine!” Valor said. “And I can’t even fucking find out if she’s alive or dead. I can’t find out if she’s okay. If she’s still waiting for me, or if she gave up and married somebody else, because I have no fucking clue who I am!” Valor shouted as he got to his feet and his face turned angry and threatening. “I don’t know if she needs help! I don’t know if I hurt her and she’s reacting to me in those dreams. Fuck! I don’t even know if I dreamed her up or if she actually exists. All I know is I can’t watch her suffer anymore. I can’t. I can’t listen to her beg me again. I just end up letting her down every single time.”
