Hailey Goes to College (Hailey Hildebrand Book 1), page 10
I think I got everything, but if I didn’t I’ll just have to leave it. If I don’t leave now then I won’t have the nerve to leave later, and I can’t face Ryan right now. I mean there’s no way I could have misinterpreted that text from Tom. I don’t want to hear the bullshit lies that Ryan will tell me to cover yet again the fact that he’s doing something illegal or even morally gray. All he had to do was tell me from the start when I did that story on the group of campus kids trading. Then at least everything else moving forward wouldn’t have been built on a lie.
I open the door as quietly as possible, stopping to check for Ryan or his parents. I don’t see or hear anything and close the door as gently as I can behind me. As I make my way downstairs I don’t see anyone else but as I get closer to the front door, I hear Ryan’s mother in the kitchen. Very, very quietly, I make my way out the front door and down the front steps of the house. I may have gotten out of the house but the farm still has people working on it. I weave my way around the barn and slowly make my way down the path that leads from the house to the main road.
The morning air is crisp and cool, a stark contrast to the raging fire burning inside me. I walk quickly, putting as much distance between me and the farmhouse as possible. I go unnoticed and for that I’m thankful.
As I reach the edge of the property, I pause and take a deep breath. I pull out my cell phone to see if I have any service. Thankfully I do, so I send a quick text to Kelsey, giving her the short version of what has happened. My mind races as I continue walking, trying to figure out what to do. Campus is closed for Thanksgiving break, so I can’t go back to the dorm. I need to figure out where to go. I remember seeing a bus stop not far from here when we drove in but I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to walk there but it’s the best shot I have at getting out of town.
I keep trying to find it on my phone’s maps but my service bounces in and out. By some miracle, I make it to the bus stop and check the sign that has the schedule listed. I check my watch and I’ve got about twenty-five minutes before it’s scheduled to come by. I don’t care where it takes me but as long as it’s far away from here. While I wait, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I feel hurt, betrayed, and confused. I thought I knew Ryan. I thought I could trust him. But now, everything feels uncertain.
The bus shows up and as I board, I start to consider my options. I could go back to the city and find a hotel, but that seems so impersonal and lonely and I still have several more days before they open up the campus again to welcome back students from break. I don’t want to call my parents because my mother will tell me I told you so, and while my dad won’t say anything, he’ll probably agree with my mother despite telling me to sow my wild oats.
I pull out my phone and text Kelsey, giving her an update on my location and that I’m boarding the bus. I haven’t heard back from her since my initial text but I want someone to know where I am. Once I’m in my seat, the bus starts moving and my phone buzzes. I see a picture of Ryan and silence the call. I don’t want to speak to him but I’m not so heartless that I would want him to think that something happened to me. So I end up answering the call.
“Hailey, where are you?” Ryan’s voice fills my ear. He sounds confused and concerned.
“I had to leave,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “I saw the message on your phone, Ryan. I don’t want to hear any more of your lies.” I’m impressed that I was able to tell him that without crying. Just the thought of how much he deceived me brings the tears flowing down my cheeks.
“Hailey, wait. It’s not what you think,” he starts, but I cut him off.
“I’m going back to the city, Ryan. Just leave me alone,” I say, my voice firm despite the tears spilling down my face. “I can’t do this with you. I won’t be made a fool of again.”
“Hailey, please,” he pleads, but I end the call and block his number, not wanting to hear any more excuses. I slump back in my seat, feeling a mixture of anger, sadness, and relief because at least now he knows I’m not there. As the bus rolls along, my phone buzzes. I look down and finally see Kelsey’s name.
OMG, Hailey. Are you okay? Where are you right now?
On a bus, heading back towards the city. I’ve been checking and I think I’ll have to change buses at least twice to make it back there. I don’t know what to do.
Alright, listen. You have a couple of options. You can either fly home to Phoenix for the next few days, or I can see if I can change my flight to get back to Chicago early. If I can get back, we’ll hole up in a hotel for a few days and explore the city together and make the best of it. Plus you wouldn’t be alone.
I feel a wave of relief at her suggestions. Both options sound much better than being alone and miserable. I search for my flight to see if I can change the ticket, but after trying several options I realize my parents already got a refund. I definitely don’t have the money to buy my own ticket and it would be way too humiliating to call my mom now.
I text her back:
I can’t change my ticket. They refunded my parents. I’m not calling them. I have to figure this out on my own. It would be an epic I told you so from my mother.
I wait for a few minutes seeing the bubbles appear then disappear then reappear.
I’ll meet you back in Chicago. I can’t get in till morning. We’ll have a mini-vacation. It’ll be fun, I promise. Find a hotel and then text me when you get there.
A small smile tugs at my lips. Kelsey’s reassurance gives me a little bit of relief from the stress of the morning. I text her back to let her know that I’ll start looking for hotels. I don’t have much else to do on this bus so with my fully charged phone I set out to find us a place to stay. It doesn’t take me long to find us a somewhat budget-friendly hotel that’s located close enough to everything downtown but far enough from the waterfront that it isn’t going to completely drain my bank account.
As the bus continues its journey towards the bus station where I’ll make a transfer, I can’t help but feel hurt. Ryan’s lying is still fresh, but the thought of spending time with Kelsey, exploring Chicago, and just getting away from everything, gives me a small glimmer of hope that I won’t spend the next few days alone and crying in a hotel room while eating ice cream.
Hours later, by the time the bus arrives at the city terminal, I feel mentally and physically exhausted. I head straight to the hotel, my heart heavy but my resolve stronger. I know I need to focus on moving forward, even if it means leaving behind someone I thought I could trust.
The next morning, Kelsey arrives and I don’t know if it’s the pent-up feelings lingering fresh from the day before but I burst into tears when I see her. She pulls me into a tight hug, and I feel the weight of the last twenty-four hours start to lift, just a little.
“We’re going to have a great few days, Hailey,” she says, her voice full of determination. “Just you wait.”
I sit on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, staring out the window watching the city below us. The hotel is nice. I sit there patiently as Kelsey unpacks an armful of snacks for us and her things for the next few days. “You really went all out,” I say, giving her a small smile.
“Of course I did. We’re going to make the most of this time,” she says, setting down the goodies on the bed. “First things first, I got us some snacks for tonight.”
I look through the assortment of chips, chocolates, and drinks she brought. “You didn’t have to go to all this trouble. Did you clear out a Target?”
She waves her hand dismissively. “It’s nothing. Now, let’s make a plan. We have all of Chicago to explore. I’ve only left campus a handful of times since we came here and now I’m determined to see it all with you.”
We spend the next half hour plotting out our itinerary. I’m thankful for the busy work of looking up places, tickets, prices, and hours. The mundane of trying to organize our first excursion from the hotel. Anything really, to take my mind off of my other problems. First up will be Navy Pier. I get dressed in jeans and my thickest sweater. The city has embraced the cold and down by the waterfront it will feel even more cold with the wind. It’s a short Uber ride away so instead of walking in the cold we hop in and zip over. As soon as we step out of the car, the fresh lake air and the lively area lift my spirits. The smell of popcorn and cotton candy fills the air, and the sounds of laughter and conversation surround us.
From our research online, we make our way straight for the Ferris wheel, a massive structure that offers stunning views of the city. As we wait in line, Kelsey talks about all the things we have planned to see and do. Luckily, we don’t have to stand in line too long before it’s our turn to ride. The Ferris wheel is huge. Each bucket is a brightly lit cabin that slowly rotates against the clear blue sky. Kelsey and I sit opposite each other so we face each other and get the best views of the waterfront and the city.
Once the attendant secures our door, the Ferris wheel begins its slow ascent, and I feel a calmness wash over me. The view from the top is breathtaking, with the city skyline and the view of Lake Michigan. The water sparkles in the sunlight, and I can see tiny boats sailing in the distance. It might be freezing outside but you’d never know it from here. The sun shines on the water, making it seem like the perfect summer day.
“This is amazing,” I say to Kelsey.
“It really is,” she agrees. She looks at me with a gentle smile. “I’m glad we’re doing this.”
All too quickly our descent begins, but I find myself feeling lighter, as if the weight of the past few days is starting to lift. We wander around Navy Pier, taking in the sights and sounds. We stroll the small shops inside the pier where I buy a magnet of the Ferris Wheel to remember the day. Street performers entertain the crowds, and we stop to watch a magician perform tricks that leave us both in awe. We grab some lunch at one of the restaurants attached to the pier, enjoying the waterfront view and taking advantage of the people watching.
After lunch, we make our way to our next stop—the Shedd Aquarium. Inside, the vibrant marine life captivates us. We move from tank to tank, marveling at the colorful fish and majestic sea creatures. The jellyfish exhibit is particularly mesmerizing, their translucent bodies glowing softly in the dim light. We sit and watch them slowly floating in the water.
Kelsey takes dozens of pictures with her phone, capturing every moment. “This is going to be the best photo album ever,” she says, snapping a shot of a playful sea otter as we make our way out of the exhibit.
As we sit down for a break in front of the giant oceanarium window, watching dolphins swim gracefully by, Kelsey turns to me with a serious expression. “Ok, now seems as good a time as any.”
I nod, feeling a bit apprehensive. “Okay…” I trail off not knowing what to expect.
She hesitates for a moment before speaking. “Let’s talk about… Ryan.”
I feel my heart tighten at the mention of his name. “What about him?” I can feel myself already getting defensive and I try to stop and remember that Kelsey is my friend and she’s only trying to help me.
“I know you’re hurt and upset,” she says gently. “But do you think you might have been a bit unfair? By not taking his calls or listening to his voicemails? What if he didn’t do anything wrong?”
I look down at my hands, fidgeting with the hem of my sweater. “I don’t know, Kelsey. He told me he wasn’t involved in anything illegal, and then I saw that text. It seemed very straightforward to me.”
“Maybe there’s more to the story,” she suggests. “It could all just be a misunderstanding.”
I sigh, feeling torn. “I just don’t know if I can trust him. I mean, you know the saying fool me once…”
Kelsey puts a hand on my shoulder. “I understand. Just think about it, okay? Maybe give him a chance to explain or at least listen to the voicemails.”
My phone feels heavy in my pocket. Ryan has left me so many voicemails my inbox is full. I nod, appreciating her concern. “I’ll think about it.”
Kelsey doesn’t bring up Ryan again, but the conversation stays in the back of my mind as we continue with our day of exploring Chicago’s attractions. It lingers in my mind, adding a layer of doubt. But for now, I try to focus on enjoying the time with my best friend, grateful for her support and understanding and the fact that she flew all the way from home early to spend this time with me.
As the day turns into evening, we head back to our hotel room, tired but happy. The city’s lights twinkle outside our window and the sounds of the traffic create a soothing background hum. We order room service for dinner and settle in for a night of movies and snacks. The room service menu offers a mix of delicious options, and we indulge ourselves with gourmet burgers, truffle fries, and lava cake for dessert.
Kelsey curls up on her bed with a bowl of popcorn. “Today was fun,” she says, smiling at me.
“Hell yeah, it was,” I tell her with a big smile on my face. “I’m so happy you came back to town to do this with me.”
“Only for you, Hailey.”
“Okay,” I say, feeling a renewed sense of happiness and hope. As we watch the classic rom-com 10 Things I Hate About You, laughing at the dialogue and swooning over the romantic moments, I feel a sense of normalcy returning. The reassurance of Kelsey’s presence, the comfort of knowing I have my best friend in my corner, and the promise of a new day tomorrow, help me believe that everything will be alright.
After a while, I turn to Kelsey, curiosity and concern bubbling up inside me. She hasn’t mentioned anything about her time at home, so while I want to hope that it was good, I have the feeling that it wasn’t.
“Kelsey?”
“Yeah?”
“We haven’t talked about your parents. Did you tell them?”
She doesn’t do anything for a long time, but eventually, she picks up the remote and turns off the television. “Yeah, I told them.” She doesn’t sound happy.
“What happened?”
“They were very clear that changing my major to something trivial like drama wasn’t going to happen. I’m sure if I wanted to be a doctor they’d be fine, but an actor over a lawyer? Not happening.” She rolls her eyes.
“Kels-” I get up off my bed and move over to hers, cuddling close. “You should have told me.”
“You were already despondent,” she reminds me. “I didn’t want to burden you when you’re already spiraling over Ryan.”
“Ryan is a boy,” I tell her sternly. “We’re best friends. That means we tell each other stuff. I want to be there for you, too, you know.”
She leans further into me. “I know. I just thought maybe if I didn’t talk about it it wouldn’t be true. They said if I change my major they aren’t going to pay tuition anymore.”
“So make it your minor,” I suggest.
“I mean yeah…” she sighs, and it sounds like she’s trying to stop herself from crying. “I don’t want to, though. Maybe I don’t want to be a lawyer just because I’ve been told my whole life I’d be one. I understand it isn’t exactly practical—but I love it so much.” She puts her face in her hands and takes a deep breath. “I said I would double major. Keep law, you know? And I reminded them that your major doesn’t matter. You can go to law school having majored in whatever you want.”
“And?”
“They still said no. I think they’re afraid I’ll run off to Hollywood and be a starving artist or something. I don’t know.”
I squeeze her hand reassuringly. “We’ll figure something out. If you want to be a drama major we’ll figure it out. There’s a whole office dedicated to student loans for a reason.”
She gives me a weak smile. “Thanks, Hailey.”
I hug her close as she restarts the movie, and after it ends she’s quiet as we clean up and get ready for bed. As I lay in bed, I stare at the ceiling unable to turn off my brain. Ryan and Kelsey swirling around as two equations I’m desperate to solve.
Thanksgiving break ends with a mix of relief and melancholy. The city of Chicago, with its vibrant waterfront and endless activities, provided a temporary escape from the turmoil of my life. But as I pack up my things in the hotel room, ready to return to campus, the reality of my situation with Ryan settles back in. Kelsey and I were able to salvage the end of the break with moments together exploring our new city and seeing some of its most famous sites, but there’s still a sense of unfinished business that looms over me, creating a knot of anxiety in the middle of my stomach.
Kelsey and I take our time making our way back to campus. When we get there we find hundreds of other students trying to get settled back into their dorms. The familiar sights and sounds bring a strange sense of comfort, reminding me of our first day. As I walk through the first floor of Hamilton Hall, I can’t help but glance around, half-expecting to see Ryan. But he’s nowhere to be found, and I remind myself that it’s probably for the best. We both need space. I’m not naïve enough to think that I won’t run into him. We go to the same school and live in the same dorm hall. I know it’s inevitable, but for now, I think we both need some space.
Kelsey and I spend the morning unpacking our things and getting settled in. “So, how are you feeling about seeing Ryan again?” she asks gently, sensing my unease.
“I’m not sure,” I say while hanging up my jacket. “Part of me wants to talk to him, to understand everything and to know why he lied about it. But another part of me is still so mad. I don’t get why he would lie to me.”
Kelsey nods in understanding. “Just take it one day at a time. You’ll figure it out.”
As we finish unpacking, we decide to take a walk across campus to get some hot chocolate. The cold nip in the air has us walking fast to the small kiosk. The familiar sight of fellow students bustling about and the noises of people chatting help to calm my nerves. I can’t help but look around, worrying about bumping into Ryan. We make it to the kiosk and get our hot chocolates. I wrap my hands around the cup to help keep them warm as we sit on a bench, watching people rush by us.
