Zero: A protective hero romantic suspense, page 19
“You don’t need to walk me in.” His troubles with Hazel remind me of all he has going on, and I can do this on my own but still want him. “Will I see you later?”
He nods, and I inhale a sharp breath at the ferocity in his expression. If I had any doubt about him, that he wants to be with me, the evidence is all there in his penetrating gaze.
Wordlessly, he trails a finger along my bottom lip, and with his touch, I quiver, core aching with a need I never knew existed.
“I want to…” He pauses longer than a beat, and I wonder if he’s changed his mind about whatever it is he was going to say. Briefly, he looks away before turning back to me. “I’ve never wanted to kiss anyone the way I want to kiss you.”
My breath catches, and I’m lost to the bare truth and all that is him. His angular features and full lips.
“Then do it.” I press my chest against his forearm resting on the console. My lips now inches from his. “Kiss me.”
“You don’t get it. It isn’t that easy.” He rakes his fingers through the tawny waves on the top of his head. “I don’t like kissing.”
I can’t decide if his admission is cruel or kind, but he’s being raw and real with me, no matter how much I don’t like what he has to say. I can’t ask for anything more than that. Honesty.
“Have you ever kissed anyone before? I mean because you wanted to.”
I can only guess at why he doesn’t like kissing. His past is unimaginable, and to hate something so much that he’ll never do it again—this innate human connection—means his scars are so deep and so painful.
“Yeah.” With a hard swallow, his eyes bore into mine. “There’s something about...” His thumb presses down on my bottom lip and I dart my tongue out to taste his salty flesh. “Something about you that makes me wanna fuck my rules.”
He leans in, and my eyes close, desperate to feel his lips on mine, but my hope withers when his warm lips press against my forehead. Then his closed mouth brushes against one eyelid, then the other, and finally the tip of my nose.
22
ZERO
I wish I’d wired Morgan’s place with cameras when I had the chance. My hands grip the truck steering wheel as the need to find who’s fucking with Morgan grows. If there were cameras, we’d have caught Randy in the act, if he was behind this, and if not, we’d know who was behind this mind-fuck.
I could contact the Feds about the break-in, but they’ve already proved unhelpful. They didn’t budge on moving things along with Randy Poole, and he’s a wanted man. Why would they help with a B&E when nothing was taken and no one was hurt?
Nah, they made it clear, unless I chose to work with them, their resources aren’t at my disposal.
When I walk into my place, Hazel’s walking toward the entrance, wheeling her suitcase behind her.
“Good, you’re here.” I rest my back against the front door. “Are you feeling better than you were last night?”
“I’m sorry. I spoke to Doctor Meier. It’s time for me to go home.” She fidgets with the hem of her shirt, unable to look at me and I’m glad she isn’t mad that I called her therapist.
“Yeah, it is. Do you need me to take you home or I can arrange for Meier’s office to come get you?” As much as I can’t spare the time to leave, I want to make sure she gets the care she needs.
“No. I’m fine.”
“And are you back on your meds?”
She bristles and casts her eyes toward the door. It’s all the answer I need.
“Hazel, did you even bring your meds? If I were to check your bags right now, I’m willing to bet you don’t have them with you, do you?”
Her wide, scared gaze flashes to me and then away. “What? You can’t…” She grips the handle of her suitcase. “You have no right to go through my things.”
“I’m not going to do it, but I’m worried. Do you have your meds?”
“Where were you last night?” She frowns, clearly not wanting to talk about her mental health.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“When you didn’t show up…” She curls her hair around a finger. “And then no call…I was worried.”
“I should have called but I’m fine. I’m worried about you. You need to see Doctor Meier and get back on your meds.” I close the distance between us, and she wraps an arm across her chest as if to ward me off.
“I will. I think I should leave now.” She wheels her bag to the door and pauses to glance at me over her shoulder. “Thanks for letting me stay here. Bye.”
Before I can say a word, she walks out and shuts the door behind her. A guilt spirals, sharp and cold, through my chest, and a part of me wants to go after her, but that isn’t healthy. We’ve done this before. She slips and I step in.
In the past, when things got too intense and I withdrew, her doctor advised me to keep my distance, show Hazel she’s strong and can do this on her own. She has the tools and the support. I’ll call and check in on her in a few weeks. Let her get back to her routine, more like herself.
I glance around my place, at a loss about most things. First things first, find out if Randy is messing with Morgan. Without any leads to go on, I’ll start where I always do, online, and maybe Griffin might have a suggestion. Before I can talk myself out of it, since asking for help isn’t my thing, I dial his number.
Cora, his live-in girlfriend, answers in a cheery voice. “Hi, Zero.”
I get to the point, hating inane chit-chat. “Cora. Hi. Where’s Griffin? This is his phone.”
The front door opens and Hazel darts to the kitchen. “Sorry, I forgot something.” Then she’s back with a phone cord in hand and out the door.
Cora cuts into the strange interruption. “Is that Hazel?”
“Cora.”
“Um, Zero… Have you made up your mind? Are you going to work for the FBI or HC?”
Fuck me. A growl slips out and I contemplate hanging up. Griffin would cut off my balls for snubbing his girl, and I wouldn’t blame him. She’s a sweet person.
“Cora, now isn’t the time.”
“Okay. It’s just… Griffin would never say it, but he’d like to work with you again. You guys make a great team.”
A warmth spreads through my chest and in a rare moment of vulnerability, I bite back a smile and channel my usual irritation at conversations like these. “Cora, just because I sent you a bunch of hair supplies doesn’t mean we’re friends.”
She giggles and now I’m grinning though glad as fuck she can’t see me. She recently recovered from a near-death accident and landed her dream job as a hairdresser. I sent her stuff to congratulate her and now I regret my moment of weakness.
“I hate to break it to you, but I think it does. We’re friends whether you want to accept it or not.” She sounds a little too smug for my liking.
“Cora, put Griffin on.”
“Relax. I’ll get him.”
It takes a couple minutes before Griffin is on the other line. “Hey. So are you calling to tell me you’re taking the job at HC?”
Jesus Christ. Not this again.
“Listen, this was a mistake.”
“C’mon. I’ll back off, just curious.”
“I haven’t decided. Okay?” Not true. I’m more than likely going to take the HC job but I’m too irritated to share that with him. And too irritated to talk about Morgan. He’s going to ask too many questions.
“Got it. What’s up?”
“I’m going to send you details of a weird situation, and I want your thoughts on where you’d start in figuring out who’s behind it.”
At this point, I don’t want to skew Griffin’s impressions with suspicions about Randy. I’ll fill him in later and hopefully, by then, I’ll know one way or another if Randy is behind this.
“Okay. Can’t you give me some of it now?”
“No. I’ve got to go. Talk later.” I end the call, and suddenly the constriction in my chest loosens.
I’ll feel better once I go out on Andiamo for an hour. I need the time alone, and then I’ll go to the Lounge to see Morgan. Elvis is watching her so I can spare the time.
As I lock the front door of my place, I curse under my breath. Given what happened last night, I meant to talk to her about Elvis. She clearly knows he follows her, but with everything going on, I forgot.
Later that day, there’s a decent-sized crowd at the Lounge when I arrive, and it takes two scans to spot Morgan on the floor, talking with a customer at the bar. Everything looks normal, but it doesn’t stay that way for long. I make my way toward her when two guys, only feet from Morgan, start a brawl. It happens so fast.
Morgan snatches something from a table and dives between the two men, both bigger and stronger than she is. She shoves at them, now mixed in the chaos, and I can’t tell if she’s trying to break up the fight or join them. What the hell is she doing?
I race across the room, pushing people aside, and from behind me, guys shout at me to stop and get out of the way.
Not a chance.
I grip Morgan’s waist firmly and twirl her away from the melee. As soon as we clear the space, bouncers descend on the drunken men. Morgan wields a steak knife, holding it above her head, and kicks and screams. At first, she doesn’t realize it’s me, but once our eyes meet, her fury doesn’t lessen.
Incensed and wary, I plant her feet firmly on the ground and quickly examine her for any injuries. “What the fuck were you doing? Are you trying to get yourself killed?”
She rears back as if I’ve slapped her. “What? Don’t talk to me like that.” Her chest heaves and she fumes, eyes wild and furious.
“I’ll talk to you any way necessary when you’re acting like an idiot.”
“You did not just call me an idiot.” Still holding the knife, she waves it around, and people near us give her a wide berth.
I doubt she’s aware of how she looks, that she still has the blade in her hand, and I yank the weapon free of her grip. She stares wide-eyed.
“I don’t want to talk to you.” Her voice cracks. “Go.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” There isn’t a chance in hell that I’m leaving her.
The small crowd gathered around us grows in size, and Lorna pushes through to the front. “Morgan, you all right?”
Morgan doesn’t notice any of this, not even a twitch at the mention of her name. Her fiery gaze remains fixed on me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You run away rather than face things.” I’m a hypocrite because I used to be her, avoiding my problems at all costs.
Sometimes, I still do. Look at how well I’ve dealt with choosing my next career move. I’m an asshole and who the hell am I to say any of this to her?
Since we’ve met, Morgan has tried to face things head-on, change her life, and climb out of the darkness. She stopped taking the pills. And instead of encouraging her, what the fuck am I doing? Lashing out.
Dammit.
“Fuck you.” She shoves at my chest and it’s the jolt I need.
Both our actions right now, this argument… It’s destructive. And even an hour on my boat didn’t solve things or settle my mind.
At every turn, I’ve hit a dead end. Look at the FBI case and Randy—things aren’t moving. She’s right; the cops are dragging their feet—and all of this stagnation, it’s pissing me off. I need to lock my shit down and get a grip.
She turns away from me, disgust twisting her lovely features. “Just go away. Leave.”
I grab her wrist to stop her from getting too far from me. Now unguarded and desperate to make things right, I bare my soul.
“I can’t leave you.” My teeth clash together to bite back the surprising and inconsolable sob in my throat, the one chasing the despair seeping from my every pore.
No matter if I want to leave, which I don’t, I can’t walk away from Morgan. Something bigger and stronger than the both of us keeps me rooted to her.
“I don’t want to leave you. Never.” I close the gap between us and inwardly curse at her flinch. “Come with me to New York.”
23
MORGAN
Zero’s confession—he doesn’t want to leave me—is like being hit by a lightning bolt. My body comes alive, wired, and the way he looks at me makes my chest want to collapse in on itself.
I don’t deserve his concern or his outpouring of emotion. I don’t deserve him or a second chance. I’m bad news. Trouble finds me and brings only pain and suffering. The bizarre incident at my apartment earlier today is proof of that.
If Zero gets too close, I could hurt him. And then what?
I don’t know how to get out from under this insurmountable guilt.
“Morgan, say something.” His fingers stroke along my cheek and his touch breaks my stupor. I storm toward the employee door, pushing aside the gawkers, and his heavy footsteps trail behind me.
“Morgan.” The heat of him covers my back like a protective shield, and I want to yell for him to leave me alone but selfishly I want him here, desperately want to lean into him.
I don’t want to lose him.
Once inside the employee area, I turn to face him, and right behind Zero, in walks Lorna.
“You can’t be back here.” She fires her annoyance at the man who only has eyes for me.
He doesn’t move a muscle or give any indication that he’s seen or heard her, or if aware of her presence, he does a good job of ignoring her.
Lorna reaches for his arm, as if to lead him out of here, and I lunge for her, knowing he doesn’t want her touching him.
“It’s okay.” My hands motion for her to drop hers. “Lorna, I need to talk to him.”
She lowers her arm but glares at me. “What the hell was that back there, Morgan? You could have been seriously hurt.”
Todd enters. “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine. It was…” I grapple for the right words, only now facing why I did what I did. “It was impulsive and stupid.”
I lick my lips and stare into Zero’s penetrating gaze. It’s as if he sees every part of me, even the dark and ugly, and isn’t repelled. We might not be alone but what I have to say is for him.
“I’m angry and tired of being scared and confused. When those knuckleheads started fighting, I just…snapped. I couldn’t take another chaotic moment of fear and violence and…” A harsh breath whooshes from me and I try to thread a hand through my tangled strands.
“Instead of stopping it, I only made things worse. I shouldn’t have grabbed the knife. I wasn’t thinking.” I step toward Zero. “Thank you for pulling me back before someone got hurt.”
He doesn’t move or blink, and Todd clears his throat, reminding me of the audience and I turn to face them. “Lorna, Todd, can you leave us alone?”
“You’ve got two minutes and then he has to go.” Lorna stabs a finger in Zero’s direction like all of this is his fault.
Unwillingly, they leave, and only once we’re alone, I feel the heat of him behind me as he inches closer. His chest molds to my back and a hand lands firmly on my hip. “Are you okay?”
Licks of fire shoot straight to the apex of my thighs, ecstatic at how close we are, that we’re touching. I shouldn’t be aroused at a time like this and yet, this man makes me feel so many things. Things I have no right to feel, no right to have or desire.
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He lowers his head so his lips and beard skate across my cheek, and I shiver. “Now about New York, come with me.”
One hand gripping my hip, his other softly strokes down my arm. The longer he touches me like this, soft, slow, and sweet, the more difficult it is to breathe. How does he do this, make me fall apart in only the best way, with doing hardly anything at all?
My eyes close and I relish the sensation of him, and it’s then I truly take in what he’s saying. My eyes snap open and I spin around in his arms to face him.
Panic fills my lungs with ice and my chest constricts. “You’re leaving?”
“No, not for good.” He grips the back of my neck, keeping me in place, and his thumbs draw lazy, sensual arcs along my jawline. “Like I told you, I’m going to work for HC and thought I’d tell them in person. I’m one to talk about running from problems or difficult decisions or situations. It’s about time I decide, and I want you to come with me.”
I struggle to concentrate, overwhelmed. I appreciate his admission, that we’re not that different when it comes to avoidance of those things we should face, but New York? Why now? And why does he have to go? It feels rash, and something on my face must say as much.
He offers a rare smirk. “If you must know, I think it’s a good idea for you to get out of Destin for a while. Only a few days. I thought New York was as good a place as any, and I could deal with HC at the same time.”
“I guess.” My gaze flicks up to him. “Sure.”
Almost imperceptibly, his green irises darken, his lips curl upward at the corners, and his tongue darts out to wet his full lips. “Sure? Don’t sound so excited about it.”
He makes me laugh, and Lorna enters the room at this moment. “Your time’s up. You better go. And Morgan, Shug’s looking for you.”
I grudgingly step away from Zero but he keeps his hand on the back of my neck. “Okay. I need to talk to Shug too.” And to Zero, I say, “I’ll be out in a few minutes. Wait for me?”
“Always.” He squeezes my nape reassuringly and releases me.
Lorna waits for him to go before pouncing on me. “What the hell’s going on?”
I grab my purse from my locker. “What happened out there was all me. He had nothing to do with it. He was only trying to help.”
My back leans against the cool metal door and I study Lorna, exuding concern and wariness. She doesn’t know about what happened at my apartment, and while I could tell her—it may even help her understand—I don’t.
“I’m going to take a few days off, go away with him.”
