Meru, page 39
“Don’t worry,” Kaliyu sent via emtalk. “I did it on the way here. I have enough energy and strength to make it even while towing you.”
The arrangement made their traversal more precarious. It took most of Vaha’s focus to maintain the balance between zirself and zir friend, but zie kept up a slow conversation with Kaliyu as well, a sentence or two every kilas.
“Tell me more about what happened at Meru,” Vaha sent. “Why did we fight?”
“When I came to Meru, I had so much hatred for humans. I didn’t tell you then, but my hope was to sabotage your efforts, and when you injured yourself, I saw it as an opportunity to end the project early. I was within my rights to pull Jayanthi off the planet, but . . . I didn’t have to do it. You suspected my true motive, I think. So we fought, and you nearly ripped my wing out of its socket so that I wouldn’t be able to land.”
From Vaha’s perspective, those actions belonged to a stranger. That zie had inflicted such violence—and on zir friend, no less—zie found it hard to fathom. But when zie thought of Jayanthi, of someone laying waste to everything she had accomplished on Meru, then zie could feel the anger ready to coalesce like a newborn star. Zie would have thought zirself incapable of such an act, but zie wasn’t the same person zie had been before.
“I’m sorry,” Vaha sent. “I wish I hadn’t hurt you like that.”
“It’s all right. I deserved it. In my pain and rage, I left Meru without telling Jayanthi anything. That’s why she got herself off-planet.”
“That was a mistake on my part, too,” Vaha sent. “I should’ve tried to reach her. I guess I didn’t expect someone in her position to take so much initiative or such desperate action.”
“Humans are full of surprises.”
“So why did you help her? Why are you helping us?”
“Two reasons. The first is because of my maker. I don’t know if you remember, but the whole time we were at Nishadas, I thought zie was dead. It turns out that my grandmaker lied to me. My maker is on Earth, a—a surface alloy who’s serving humans there.”
“I don’t remember any of that,” Vaha confessed.
“It doesn’t matter. The point is, I discovered that everything I had thought about human beings and what they’d done to my maker was wrong. Instead of blaming them, I should’ve looked to my grandmaker. Learning the truth was hard, but it forced me to reconsider what happened between us at Meru. I . . . I want to make it up to you. To Jayanthi, too. My maker was horrified when I told zir what I’d done to you. I was angry at first and then confused. I started to wonder if zie was right about me.”
After a long pause, Vaha prompted, “And the second reason?”
“Because of you,” Kaliyu sent. “Because of our friendship. I had been so convinced that you were wrong about humans that I threw away the dearest person in my life. I regretted it, but I couldn’t admit it to myself, not until I came back to Meru alone and couldn’t find you anywhere. I followed my best estimate of your trajectory for several kaals. I asked everyone in orbit around Meru. No one had seen you. I figured you were either dead or hiding.”
“A bit of both, in a way.”
“I’ve missed you, Vaha. I dreaded the thought of you in self-imposed exile or adrift in some long, eccentric orbit. When Jayanthi asked if I would help her look for you, I didn’t have much hope, but I couldn’t refuse one last attempt. I’m so glad I said yes.”
Vaha composed zir reply with care. “I forgive you, and I ask your forgiveness in turn. I acted out of anger and fear, too, and I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
“I suppose that’s fair. Let’s say we’re even, then?”
Vaha reached back with one arm and gave Kaliyu’s hand an affirmative squeeze.
“So what’s next?” Kaliyu sent. “After we get back to the Primary, you’ll corroborate Jayanthi’s data, but what if the MEC doesn’t let you both go back to Meru? If you end up with Rithu, I’m going to be terribly jealous.”
Vaha colored zir words with bitter amusement. “I’m not in a position to take advantage of him as a racing coach. It’s ironic. At Meru, I finally became what my maker wanted. I was a multimodal pilot. Now I can barely traverse a thamity gradient.” Zie shook zir head. “I don’t want to go back to Kumuda. I want to be with Jayanthi. She’s convinced that the CDS will confine her to Earth.”
“She made a baby, Vaha. Justice will not let that go.”
“I know.”
Vaha didn’t want to admit that Kaliyu was right, but with Jayanthi saying the same thing, zie knew that the verdict would likely go against her. Zie had seen the document to her from TESC and the potential consequences they could enact. If the CDS took their child away, or if they sent Jayanthi to live in the Out of Bounds on Earth, zie would have no future with her as a family.
“I considered putting myself in stasis around Earth to watch her live her life,” Vaha confessed, “and I’ve been thinking, even if I can’t have my incarn on Earth, I could volunteer for service. I like the idea of being close to her.” And to my child.
“At least you have some idea of what you want to do. I’m scrambled.”
“Aren’t you going back to the Majestics?”
“After all that’s happened, the idea doesn’t bring me the same joy it used to. I don’t know what else I’d do, and stasis still sounds unappealing.”
With zir heart aching, Vaha sent, “You could go to Kumuda in my place. Rithu is doing good research work, and he’s happy to share the credit. He’s also lonely. He wouldn’t say so to anyone who asked, but I could tell. I think he would welcome you as my friend, and you could train with him until his project cycle is over.”
They had moved past the orbit of Venus with the Primary Nivid in sight before Kaliyu responded. “I suppose the Majestics might wait a few varshas if I spend the time with The Royal. Getting away from the Solar System might do me some good. Thank you for the idea. We shouldn’t get too ahead of ourselves, though. The CDS could still dump me into stasis for the illegal transport of a human. If they don’t, I’ll consider Kumuda.”
Vaha hadn’t visited the Primary since zie was a child, before Veera left zir, but the scale of it felt just as enormous as it had then. Zie had requested and received a berth assignment at the human-habitable limb. As zie maneuvered around the other branches, Vaha realized how instinctive zir use of the tail brace had become. The only time it gave zir any problems was when zie moved in and out of tight berths. And microgravity flight, of course. That dream had evaporated for good. Zir imagined happy reunion with zir maker would never happen. Vaha hadn’t felt the loss acutely until the reintegration with zir incarn. Knowing that zie’d had zir destiny in zir grasp, that zie had thrown it away to show off—but zie had the peace from Kumuda to mitigate the pain. And zie had Jayanthi and the child to think about, which brought its own set of joys and frustrations.
“We’re almost here,” Vaha told Jayanthi.
“Can you come inside with me?”
“No, they only gave me permission to have my incarn on the surface of Meru. Technically, I shouldn’t have kept zir separate after I reintegrated with zir memories. I’ll stay in touch with you through emtalk, though.”
She kissed zir incarn’s forehead and whispered, “I love you,” before slipping into her suit.
It took every ton of willpower that Vaha had not to pull Jayanthi into zir incarn’s embrace. Instead, zie attached the transfer tube to the womb. Jayanthi’s tiny figure floated through and into the airlock. She had taken all her belongings. “In case they don’t allow me back,” she’d said. Vaha hoped it wouldn’t come to that. Zie wondered if someone had met her inside, if they would try to restrain her from leaving again. After detaching the tube, zie tethered the womb to float behind the berth and wriggled zir way in. The docks at the outdated limb were built for mechanical shuttles, not pilots, and zir tail exoskeleton made it impossible to vent without hitting something.
Two struts from either side of zir berth extended outward and clamped around the base of zir tail, just above the top of the exoskeleton.
Zie opened an emchannel to the Primary’s central constructed mind. “What is happening to my berth?”
“The CDS has charged you with assaulting the pilot known as Kaliyu, as well as breach of contract with Hamsa and the Meru Exploration Committee. You must remain here until your case is presented to Mithva, the presiding judicial construct at the Primary Nivid. You are considered a flight risk and are therefore restrained.”
The phores on Vaha’s arms went white. With an effort, zie brought them back to neutral, then sent a message to Kaliyu. “You seemed so friendly and helpful on the way here. Was it all an act again? A ruse to trap me and Jaya at the Primary?”
“What are you saying? What’s happened?” Kaliyu responded.
“The CDS has accused me of assaulting you.”
“I didn’t ask them to—I swear by the Nivid!”
Their next messages arrived at the same instant: “Pushkara!”
“He must have received notice when we arrived at the RT point,” Kaliyu sent. “Gravity take him! I’ll file a request to speak on your behalf. They can’t hold you to the charge if I refuse to support it, right?”
“I have no idea,” Vaha admitted. “I don’t know anything about legal matters.”
“What’s the worst they can do? Temporary forced stasis?”
“They’re also charging me with breach of contract, probably for leaving Meru like I did.”
“Gravity take them all!”
Neither of them sent anything for a while after that. Vaha decided not to tell Jayanthi. She had enough concerns of her own. She’d had frequent medical treatments during their return journey, and though she didn’t complain, zie could tell she was often in pain. Her belly had swollen visibly with their child, an item to add to both of their worries. At least the Primary hadn’t blocked zir network access. Zie couldn’t see inside Jaya’s room, but a quick, “Are you okay?” had met with an equally prompt, “I’m fine, just tired. Going to take a nap.”
Zie accessed the general knowledge base and thought-searched on legal proceedings. Every padhran had a central constructed mind that handled its affairs, including the dispensation of justice. The Primary had several CMs, since it was a permanent structure with a vast population. One by the name of Mithva presided over all legal matters. Since they were nonliving beings, constructs didn’t have the potential conflicts of interest that living beings would. Mithva could adjudicate many cases in parallel, but they still had limited resources. The backlog meant that Vaha’s trial would be held the next kaal. There was no need to delay it further because zie could appeal the outcome at any time, anywhere, in stasis or not. The only exception was for those who were exiled, the worst of all consequences.
I nearly did that to myself, Vaha thought with a shudder. Zie had almost thrown away zir life in one impulsive move. If they sentence Jayanthi to be Earthbound, I will join her, even if it means getting reborn into service as a surface alloy. No matter how long it takes, if I have to wait out a few varshas in stasis, I’ll find a way to live with her. She could protest all she wanted to, but the decision belonged to zir. Vaha had let others rule the direction of zir life for too long. Rithu had given zir a taste of true independence, and zie was not about to let anyone—not even Jayanthi—take that away.
“Hamsa is at the door and requests entry,” the CM announced to Jayanthi.
Upon her second arrival at the Primary Nivid, the central constructed mind had directed her back to the same room. Jayanthi hadn’t seen Devasu at all, and she hoped the young alloy hadn’t gotten in trouble for her clandestine actions. She assumed that Vaha or the Primary had notified Hamsa of their arrival, but out of politeness, she’d sent him a message as well.
“Let him in, please,” she said aloud.
To her surprise, he smiled when he entered.
“My dear child, whatever will you do next?” he sent via emtalk. He floated forward and took her hands in his. “So you found Vaha. I’m sure your first words will be to demand that your Meruvin data get considered for the Nivid.”
At least he wasn’t angry with her anymore. “Yes, that’s right.”
“This won’t absolve you of breaking the laws with the womb, though.” He looked pointedly at her visibly swollen belly. “And you’re nearly at eight months pregnant. We need to get you to Earth quickly. You could deliver any day now.”
She put a hand protectively over herself. “I spent the journey in Vaha’s womb. There were some complications, but the fetus is healthy, and the pregnancy is stable.”
“That’s good, but the Primary construct has no experience with a human delivery in microgravity. Neither do I. Frankly, the only knowledge we have in that regard is theoretical. I’ve already found a pilot to take you home. We can have you back there in a few days, but since you’re already here, you’ll stand trial tomorrow.”
“I thought that wasn’t for another five months!” To go on trial before the delivery meant she’d have no healthy baby to hold up as mitigation for her transgressions. Had she gone through all the risk of pregnancy for nothing? No, of course not! The child would exist, a hope for the future of humanity on Meru. Jayanthi stretched and flexed her hands and feet. The lack of gravity had shifted her swelling from her muscles to her joints, and no position was comfortable.
“They changed their minds when you left with Kaliyu,” Hamsa sent. “Because you’re a flight risk, they want to make sure no alloy can transport you without the explicit permission of the government. Mithva, the local justice, has sent for a human Voice of Compassion to be present at your sentencing, should you be found guilty on any count. Vaha will meet with Mithva as well.”
“Vaha? But zie had nothing to do with my pregnancy.” That was a lie, but no one knew the truth except for Vaha. She glanced through the window, where she had an oblique view of zir berth. Had zie confessed without telling her?
“They’re trying Vaha separately for assault and breach of contract. It has nothing to do with what you’re accused of.”
Relief warred with outrage. “Zie tried to protect me!”
Hamsa followed her gaze and floated to the window. “That might help mitigate zir sentence, but it doesn’t excuse zir actions.”
“What about the data and the Nivid? Will they still allow zir to authenticate it?”
“Vaha gave zir statement to the committee earlier today.”
“So it’s done? They’ve accepted it?”
Hamsa nodded. “The data will go through a review process, but assuming they find no irregularities, any novel information will get entered into the archive.”
At least one thing had gone right. No, two things: she had found Vaha, and she had validated the work they’d done on Meru. No matter what happened with the trial the next day, she had done everything she could to help Hamsa’s proposed amendment.
“Do you think it’s enough to sway the vote in our favor?” she asked. “The test results clearly show that my genetic makeup combined with elevated heme oxygenase would make a natural fit for Meru’s environment.”
“I know, and that information was made available to all soon after you left, though it was marked preliminary. We’ll find out the day after tomorrow whether it has changed any minds.”
She, Vaha, and Kaliyu had arrived three days before the vote. Barely in time. “How fast will they decide my case? Could I stay here until we have the results of the vote, too?”
Hamsa’s phores shone with pale spring green. “What good does it do you, my dear? You can appeal the verdict from anywhere.”
They locked eyes as they arrived at the same conclusion. Jayanthi sent the words anyway. “If it goes in favor of humans on Meru, I’d rather be confined there than on Earth.”
“Think it through,” Hamsa cautioned. “You’d have to leave behind your friends and family. You’d have little to no help on the planet until we could find enough candidates to settle there. It would be a lonely life, and dangerous, as you now understand.”
“That’s all I’ve thought about since I left the Primary. I want to have my child on Meru, where we belong, and I’d have Vaha with me.”
“Vaha? Zie isn’t fit to travel that distance. We’d have to find you a different pilot to accompany you.”
She couldn’t tell Hamsa the truth, that she and Vaha loved each other, that they dreamed of raising their child together on Meru.
“I trust zir,” she sent. “And I think zie would want to come.”
“Then let’s ask Vaha directly.”
Hamsa invited Vaha to join their emchannel, and then posed the question.
“Yes,” zie replied. “I would very much like to help Jayanthi on Meru again, if that’s allowed.”
“Vaha, I told the committee that I don’t want to press charges for breach of contract,” Hamsa sent. “As cosigners, they still have the right to sue and, unfortunately, they’re going ahead with that. I’m sorry. I have, however, secured permission for you to get a rebirth regardless of the outcome of your trial. Once that’s complete and assuming you’re free, I can contract with you again for a return trip to Meru. In the meantime, Jayanthi can go to Earth and deliver the baby in safety. By the time you’re ready to travel, she and the child should be as well. After the rebirth, your physical functionality will be fully restored, and your memories—well, you’ve been through a reintegration once. Rebirth isn’t all that different.”
“I’m grateful for your offer—” Vaha sent.
“It’s the least I can do for all the support you’ve given to Jayanthi and me.”
“But I’m going to decline. I’d rather save my rebirths for when I really need them. For now, I’m content with the exoskeleton. I can traverse shallow thamity gradients with it, which is enough to get by in an emergency. As for the wing, it’s true that I get tired faster with its current state, but I’ve learned to manage it. Thanks to Rithu’s help at Kumuda, I’m confident that I can navigate atmospheric flight and gravitational landings as I am. I don’t plan on doing much microgravity flight anymore. If we need to get back to Meru, we’ll get a tow like I did with Kaliyu.”
