I’m thankful he kept all the touching to pain and not something more loving as he would call it. I needed to learn my place. I needed to beg him to love me he would tell me in between whips.

  Sometimes he would let that whip hit hard enough to break skin. And just like that I was there. Back in that room. My hands cuffed. The steel cuffs grating against my sensitive wrists.

  My shoulders, pulling as they supported my weight. I hung from the ceiling like an animal in a meat house. The cold air brushing against my skin numbing it and leaving a stinging sensation in its wake. Every ache was intensified as the cold sunk into my pores.

  The sound of the whip as I cracked through the air. The leather as I slammed into my back. I tried to hold back the screams, but I was powerless as the leather tore through my skin.

  I remember the smell of his cologne as it mixed with the coppery scent of blood in the air. His silence was deafening as he whipped me over and over sometimes it would be a wisp against my skin and other times a burning fiery inferno.

  Ripping myself from the memories I remind myself I was free and that the scars covering my body was a testament of who I was. He remade me over those few days just not the way he was hoping.

  I was a stronger yet more jaded person. I realized I could count on no one. There was never going to be someone a knight in shining armor rushing to my rescue. It would always just be me.

  Chapter 4

  Jackal

  My brother’s odd behavior was grating on my nerves. He was being secretive, something completely out of character. Now that I think of it Beau is also keeping shit from me.

  Whatever Hyde is keeping in the shadows Beau was in on it. This better not be some fucking intervention. I didn’t need saving. If they thought for one fucking minute I needed some divine lighting they were very fucking wrong.

  I lost my old lady years ago and that shit just don’t go away. Her image haunts me. The sound of her voice the devils cries for more mayhem. Avery, was it for me, I knew it then just as I know it now.

  There will never be another. Booze and pussy helped the time pass and the day’s blend together in one big blur. No matter how much I sunk myself into the darkness, she still haunts me.

  Life was a black pit of nothingness without her beside me.

  “Jackal I need you.”

  The desperation seeping into the air from this bitch’s mouth, had my cock deflating slightly. That shit was a turn off and no matter how many I have spread out on this bed and fucked they all have that same pouty, whinny desperation that reeked through the air like a shit bomb.

  Closing my eyes, I bring Avery to the center of my thoughts. She was who I was with never these cock placements or Dick cozies as Livie seemed to have dubbed them.

  Grabbing her by the hips I flip her so her face was shoved into the bed. Pulling the zipper down was a relief for my poor cock. The moment my pants are undone, they hit the floor with a thunk.

  But not before the little foil packet was in my hand. I’ve done this so many times it was almost like breathing. Within seconds my cock was slamming into her hard. Wrapping my right hand around the back of her neck I hold her in place.

  Slamming into her again and again her voice muffled by the bed. Pleasure was a need almost like a pacifier for a baby. It soothed my jaded nerves and jumbled mind. The harder I slammed into her the closer I came to release.

  Her pussy squeezed my cock over and over as she came hard. Honestly, I didn’t give two shits if she got off this was all about me, I was a selfish prick like that. I needed to finish this shit.

  Speeding up I pound into her hard enough to bruise her ass. The sounds of my flesh hitting hers echoed off the walls like a gunshot renting the air. Sometimes when I finished with them walking was impossible.

  Not that it stopped me from kicking their asses the fuck out of my room. Pumping into her my hips falter as my cum shoots from my cock into the condom like a hose shooting water after it was clogged.

  Tingles raced up and down my spine as my balls drew up painfully emptying over and over again into the latex barrier. The moment it stopped I was out of her and removing the condom.

  “Thanks now get the fuck out.”

  My voice left no room for argument, but that never seemed to stop them.

  “But...”

  I shut that shit down before she can finish whatever bullshit she hoped would keep her here.

  “A fuck is a fuck I can get it anywhere you’re nothing special so get your shit and get the fuck out.”

  Honestly, I have no clue what keeps them coming back for more, but I know this bitch will be crawling back into this bed before the week was out. Her wincing had my cock twitching as she tried to pull her panties on.

  Yeah, she would be feeling that shit for days, maybe even a week. Every time she tried to sit she would feel me all the way to her cervix. The door slamming behind her echoed off the walls in its finality.

  I needed a shower and then sleep. It doesn’t matter how many times I shoved my cock into pussy I hated smelling like them when it was over. Fuck never kissed them, not a single one.

  You think that would be a sign or some shit to them, but nope, they still crawled all over me like a bitch in heat. Stepping into the warm spray I let it wash away her touch.

  I fucking hated it when they get all grabby. I wanted your pussy and your mouth not your fucking hands. Scrubbing clean I dry off and make my way to my bed. I didn’t need cloths just some fucking sleep.

  Another day will pass another day closer to her. The darkness dragged me under. She was waiting for me like always a tease of what I could have had and a reminder of all I’ve lost.

  Chapter 5

  Kara

  I’ve been driving for days. The ride should have only taken a day, but I needed to keep my tracks clear. Going in zig zags and circles would hopefully keep them off my ass giving me more time in my home town.

  More time to find Lucy. More time close to him the man who ruined my life. There was a small part of me who hated him. I was so close I could almost taste it. The welcome to New Hampshire sign was a welcoming sight.

  I was getting closer to finding Lucy. I trusted Hyde would do this even though I vanished and abandoned them all. They were my friends and leaving them behind was hard.

  But staying here and watching my sister marry him was too much. It was asking too much. I wasn’t sure what kind of reunion, I would receive from them. The very thought of walking back into their lives had me wanting to tuck tail and run the other way.

  The racing of my heart was almost painful. The very thought of being close to all I’ve lost all, I never had. I needed to be strong I needed to be the woman I became.

  The cold, emotionless death wish junkie as Lucy has dubbed me. The need for near death experiences to feel alive to awaken my dead nerves. I was a lost soul for so many years after I left home.

  I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me when I looked into the mirror. It only got worse after the loss of my twin. I would see her face when I looked into the mirror.

  I hated who and what I was looking at. Letting my hair grow out passed my shoulders was the first step. I wanted to change who I was seeing staring back at me.

  The second was the tattoos. I love them! Each little piece of art was a testament to who I was and who I was becoming. They were a reminder I was me Kara not a twin, not a match to Avery I was my own person.

  Finding cliff diving was the first thing in the long list of crazy adventures I would have. This was what defined me and for the first time I was free. Free from it all. Crossing into Maine had my throat closing.

  I could dive from planes, ride motorcycles and fly off of cliffs, but facing my past was downright terrifying. Who needed near death experiences to feel again when all I needed was to go home to feel it all.

  I only had a few more hours before I would reach home. The house was still there. I could bring myself to come back even long enough to sell it. Michael caught on to the fact coming home was not something I wanted to do.

  Looking for me here wasn’t at the top of his list. The man was a monster. The very idea he would find me again was terrifying. I could almost feel his breath on the nape of my neck.

  I remember the feel of him leaning in close his body pressed against my back as I hung helplessly from the ceiling. The knowledge that only a thin layer of clothing his clothing separated us.

  Shudders of disgust rake my body, causing the car to jerk. Fuck, I needed to get my head in the game. I couldn’t go back there not now. If Lucy was where I was all those years ago then I needed to move fast and keep my head on straight.

  I pray to the all the deities I could think of that she was safe that she wasn’t experiencing any of that. A tear leaked from the corner of my eye as images of poor Lucy hanging from the ceiling tried to invade my mind.

  If I went there shortly I would lose whatever sanity, I have left at this point. Personally, I needed it to keep me from doing something I would regret. I needed it to keep me away from Jackal and all the misery he would cause me.

  Chapter 6

  Hyde

  She was close. The call to meet her at her childhood home was a little surprising. I figured she would just show up at the club. I was trying to figure out the best route for damage control.

  Thank fuck she chose to go home instead. The looks Jackal keeps sending my way was a warning he was onto me. He couldn’t see her I know that if he did, I would lose my brother completely and I sure as fuck wasn’t letting that happen.

  Walking into the office, I close the door behind me.

  “Kara is almost here. She wants to meet at her house.”

  Even I could hear the relief in my voice. Watching the tension ease in Beaus shoulders told me he also was relived.

  “When?”

  “She’s about two hours out.”

  His nod was the only confirmation I needed. Turning I walk out of the office and into the main room. My brother was gone. Probably found some whore to fuck. Releasing a sigh, I walk to the bar I needed a beer before I faced this shit.

  How was I to know my world was about to be blown to shit? Guess I had seen it coming.

  Chapter 7

  Jackal

  Anger rages through me like a flame striking gasoline. My fucking brother, my fucking president, kept this shit from me? Kept her from me? She was Avery’s twin. She may be my only chance of having Avery again.

  I could pretend it was Avery not that it would be hard they looked exactly alike. So alike, they marched right down to the sound of her voice. She would always be Avery to me.

  The future the life I almost had with Avery could be mine again if not in spirit than in flesh. Fuck, I needed to get cleaned up. The beard needed to go along with this mop I called my hair.

  The stench of pussy clung in the air as I walked back to my room. Shadows followed. My shadows. Each one a reminder of all I’ve done. Each one a reminder of the man I have become.

  I lost my light, my home, my safe haven when I lost Avery. I found my new home in the dark. In the cold. I crawled so deep into this place the light would never touch me.

  Kara was in the light a place I could never be. This darkness would be our home, maybe things could be different. Just a small change. Avery was weak and Kara well, I could pull her in, mold her into the queen of this darkness.

  The very thought of all the things I needed to do to her. All the vile, dirty pleasurable thing I need to do to her to win her over to tempt her to join me here. Avery and I never made love.

  I guess now it was a blessing. I would never have anything to compare the real Avery too. Nothing to remind me this wasn’t real not the real I wanted. Not the real I needed. I didn’t give two fucks if anyone had a problem with this.

  Kara was mine and I dare any mother fucker to come in between us to keep her from me because it would be the last thing they would ever do.

  Chapter 8

  Kara

  I wasn’t so sure I was ready to face home. Then again, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to see him. I was a being a wimp of sorts. I honestly have no idea what the problem was.

  I wasn’t just going to walk into the blazing Devils club house and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to run into him. The shadows was where I would be hiding. I wanted to watch, make sure they were looking for her before I made myself known.

  The hard part was I knew how sneaky these assholes can be. I picked up most of what I knew from them and the rest I learned that out of desperation and self-preservation.

  Parking a few blocks over I make my way to the club house. I didn’t give them much to go on. Know that I think about it, I never told him how she looked. Shit! Sure, over time they will figure it out, but that was precious time wasted.

  Climbing up an old metal ladder to the roof of a house across the street from their location had its advantages. I could see them yet I know they won’t see me. I needed to call Hyde but I feared Jackal would answer the call.

  I didn’t want to hear his voice. I honestly didn’t want the reality of what I would never have whispered into my ear. Crouching down I grab my cheap little binoculars and press them against my cheek bones.

  Hyde’s shaved head was the first thing my eyes made contact with. The problem he was looking right at me. How the fuck? It was like watching a train wreck you couldn’t look away even if it meant life over death.

  Not that Hyde would end me. At least I didn’t think he would. A small part of me knows that if it meant saving Jackal nothing else would matter not even my life. I respected him for that I really did.

  Did I want to die? No. Hyde’s long stride was eating up the space between us at an alarming rate. His eyes dared me to move to even twitch.

  I needed to talk to him and this was the best way calling seemed risky. The fact he knew where I was bothered me. I was stealthy I took my time getting here keeping to the shadows.

  I felt like I had a tracker on me and he was a heat seeking missile. The fact he homed in on me so quickly it was almost instantaneous. He was waiting for me out there and that was terrifying. I came into town and used whatever skills I had to get here without being detected and yet I was long before I knew it.

  I was becoming sloppy or he was just that good and I needed to learn a few things to survive this life a little longer. I couldn’t know I wouldn’t go back to Michael.

  “What the fuck are you doing?”

  The cold anger in Hyde’s voice had the hair along my body standing and my spine straitening.

  “Watching.”

  I wasn’t going to elaborate or share information unnecessarily. The less he knew the better.

  “Watching like a child wishing for the toy in the window? Why are you up here Kara?”

  Anger surges through my body.

  “Should I have just walked through the door? Hmm, I think that would be a good way to wish for death. I can’t see him Hyde.”

  I was trying to be strong, but the hitch in my voice gave away to my inner woman.

  “Here, take my number and call when you need to meet. I need more information on your friend Kara.”

  What to share and what to keep was hard. Swallowing I look at his don’t bullshit me face.

  “Her name is Lucy, she has brown hair originally red. She’s short and was taken from our apartment four months ago.”

  I guess sharing, it was harder than I had thought it would be my heart rate spiked to a painful rate. Michael needed me and he was using Lucy to get what he wanted.

  I didn’t want Hyde to know that part. It didn’t seem imperative to the finding her.

  “You’re hiding something.”

  The cold anger in his voice had my stomach clenching and my palms sweating. I couldn’t tell him not about Avery not about Michael and not about Lucy.

  “I gave you all you needed Hyde somethings are meant to be kept some things are not meant to be shared.”

  I kept my voice firm. I could feel the wavier that wanted to slip into my voice. What if he wanted it all and wouldn’t help find her without it? Would I? Now the real question was could I tell him everything?

  “Everything Kara now!”

  The decision was taken from me with his cold demand. I would do anything for Lucy.

  “His names Michael and he’s from my past.”

  I let him soak up that little bit of information.

  “My past is off limits here. I will give you what I can and that’s it.”

  I kept my voice cold and firm. I wanted him to know I wouldn’t budge, not on this.

  “That’s not good enough, Kara.”

  “Don’t go digging into this too deep Hyde you might not like what you find.”

  Disdain dripped from the words as they slipped passed my lips. I needed his help but I wasn’t a documentary. My life was mine. This shit was off limits.

  “Kara, do you think I give two fucks what you say? You want my help….”

  Reaching into my pocket I pull out the last picture I took of Lucy. Cradling it gently in the palm of my hand. My feet hit the pavement as my angry stride took me closer to him.

  My hand slammed against his chest. The hand holding her photo.

  “Look at her and then tell me you can walk away.”

  Drawing back just as his hand almost closed over mine. I watch as his large hand swallows the small photograph.

  I couldn’t watch him look at my friend. Knowing I failed her was killing me.

  Chapter 9

  Hyde

  I’ve never seen such a beautiful woman. Desire ran rampant on my already frayed nerves. Her hair was red in this picture.

  “She innocent in all this.”

 

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