Secondary directive: TERMINATE—TERMINATE—TERMINATE

  Eli screamed as the drone’s miniblasters unleashed a fresh fusillade of lasers. They perforated the Octopoid outfit, making Swiss cheese of the latex. The shredded top half of the suit tipped over, revealing nothing but empty space beneath it. As the drone processed this, a pair of zip slippers poked out from under a table loaded with Earth Invaders promotional items—posters, oversize novelty bags, T-shirts, and more. Eli had slipped out of the costume once the drone lit it up. But when Eli saw the drone’s shadow cross in front of the table, the Creepslayer realized he was cornered.

  Eli scrolled through the emergency contacts on his cell. His trembling finger hesitated over the first name—Steve. But in remembering their recent spat, Eli just couldn’t bring himself to ask for Steve’s help. He was about to call Jim, when the drone descended to Eli’s eye level.

  “Ah!” Eli screamed.

  The drone locked its crosshairs on Eli’s frightened face—and a silver tray slammed into it like it were a discus. Knocked off balance, the drone wobbled to the far end of the lounge. Eli ran out from under the table and saw Steve holding a tray full of canapes. The brawny Creepslayer yelled, “Buzz off, bot-snack!”

  “Steve!” Eli cried with joy, then remembered he was still mad. “You, uh, didn’t have to do that. I can take care of myself!”

  “Oh yeah? How?” Steve asked. “By hiding under another swag table?”

  “Maybe!” Eli hollered. “Or maybe I’ll use my other self-defense skills! Skills you’ve never even bothered to learn about!”

  “Such drama!” said the actor who played Superagent Muldoon.

  The Earth Invaders star and the rest of the Hollywood elite had been watching Steve and Eli’s argument. The actor then said, “Fans often post short videos on my social media feed. But I’ve never seen a live scene before! I’m really believing the pain in your performance.”

  The drone veered at them again, and Eli said, “Quick! Creepslayer combo fifty-two!”

  “On it!” said Steve.

  He picked up Eli by the seat of his pants and tossed him at the drone. The airborne robot avoided the screaming Eli, who bounced off the wall. He shot Steve a dirty look from behind his crooked glasses and said, “That was combo twenty-five!”

  “Oh,” said Steve as the drone aimed its cannons at him. “Right.”

  “Combo eight-six-niner!” Eli shouted.

  Steve leaped forward and was about to use his teammate’s back as a springboard to launch himself high. But Eli abruptly turned around and crowed, “Ca-caw!”

  The Creepslayerz collided, knocking over the swag table. They peeled Earth Invaders bumper stickers off their faces, and Eli shouted, “I said ‘eight-six-niner’—distract and divide! The bent-back spring attack is a nine-six-eight!”

  “You’re a nine-six-eight!” Steve shouted back.

  Superagent Muldoon and the rest of the Very Important People laughed, assuming this skit had now become a comedy of errors. Steve’s scowl only intensified as he experienced the feeling he hated above all others—humiliation. The drone wheeled around again, and Steve shoved Eli aside, saying, “Forget the combos! This time, the Palchuk goes solo!”

  Steve ducked and rolled away from another volley of lasers, while Eli stumbled backward and fell on his rear. Experiencing his own flush of humiliation, Eli muttered, “Fine, Steve. If you want to take all the glory—and the death beams—you go right ahead. . . .”

  Superagent Muldoon crouched beside Eli and said, “As a fellow method actor, I respect your process. And I’d never want to break the fourth wall. But I must say that I question your motivation in the moment.”

  “Huh?” said Eli.

  Talking over Steve’s terrified shrieks in the background, the star said, “You’re assuming your friend is pushing you away to be mean. But what if he’s pushing you away to protect you?”

  Eli looked back at Steve. His teammate alternately taunted and cried as he wrestled with the drone. Realization dawned in Eli’s eyes, and the actor added, “Y’know, I was a lot like you growing up. Envious of the bigger guys who got all the attention. But if my career’s taught me anything, it’s that the little guy can also make a difference. Sure, I may play the ‘big hero’ on TV, but Superagent Muldoon is only as good as the material the show’s screenwriters give him. In theater and in life, it’s all about collaboration.”

  “Collaboration,” Eli repeated slowly. “You’re right. Steve needs me!”

  With a click of his heels, he activated his zip slippers and skated toward his teammate. Along the way, Eli took a slight detour at the swag table. Steve grunted as the drone pinned him to the lounge floor, the two of them struggling for control of the laser blasters. The barrels gradually pointed closer to Steve’s face, no matter how hard he pushed against them. The chambers started glowing, ready to fire—when an enormous sack scooped up the drone. Steve saw Eli restraining the drone inside one of the oversized Earth Invaders novelty bags.

  “Eli?” Steve said in amazement. “You saved me? Even after I botched our combos?”

  “Just like you saved me, even after I lost my temper with you,” replied Eli. “I think I got so caught up in us being Creepslayerz, I forgot we also need to be collaboratorz.”

  The drone launched skyward, taking the giant bag—and Eli—with it. His skinny legs kicking helplessly in the air, Eli said, “Steve! The table!”

  “On it!” Steve said again.

  Only this time Steve actually understood what he was doing. He raced over to the swag table and picked up something he saw earlier, when he and Eli had crashed into it. With a devious grin, Steve cocked the T-shirt cannon in his hands and said, “You call out the plans, Pepperbuddy—and I execute them!”

  “Engage!” Eli shouted from the ceiling.

  Steve aimed and pulled the trigger, shooting out a rolled-up Earth Invaders T-shirt with a tremendous FWOOMP! The preshrunk projectile whizzed through the air and struck the drone with a direct hit.

  “Spectacular!” cried Eli before he and the drone plummeted. “Ah!”

  “Uh, couch cushion combo!” said Steve.

  Thinking fast, he slid one of the lounge sofas into place. Eli landed safely on the plush furniture, while the drone smashed into pieces on the floor beside him. Steve and Eli exchanged relieved smiles, and the VIP guests broke into enthusiastic applause. Superagent Muldoon said, “Bravo, guys! And way to take those emotional adjustments on the fly!”

  “It helps when you have a great ‘scene partner’!” Eli said with a wink to Steve.

  Steve winked back and said, “You’re way too talented to be my ‘understudy,’ Eli. I promise, the next time the Creepslayerz go into action, they’re gonna have equal billing.”

  Eli’s grin grew bigger, and the Earth Invaders star said, “I know you guys probably don’t want to leave the VIP area, but I’d love for you to be my guests at the Gun Robot premiere. I play a crusty FBI agent who can only reunite with his estranged daughter through Gun Robot’s help. Powerful stuff. So . . . whattaya say?”

  The Creepslayerz looked at each other in wonderment and flashed their C hand symbol.

  “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” said Detective Louis Scott.

  The Arcadia Oaks police department banged a battering ram against the Convention Center’s shuttered main entrance with zero effect. Officer Brennan came running up and said, “It’s the same thing at the rear gate, loading dock, and emergency exits. We can’t get in, and the Arcadia-Con attendees can’t get out! This is a dangerous situation.”

  “Including my daughter,” said Detective Scott as he thought about his Darci.

  The insistent banging of the battering ram resonated inside of the Convention Center, making Luug hold his paws over his ears. He didn’t know what exactly was going on, but he suspected it had something to do with that tasty-looking bunnylike creature. With all the guards otherwise occupied, Luug raised his leg and zapped a hole in the kennel’s fence. Several spooked canines backed away in alarm as the Corgi jumped through the hole and made a beeline for the security desk. Luug sniffed until he found what he was looking for—Aja’s and Krel’s Serrators.

  CHAPTER 16

  ROLL REVERSAL

  “If it is any consolation, I know how you must feel,” Foo-Foo said as Aja and Krel struggled in the shrinking cage. “Caught. Alone against impossible odds. Left for dead on a foreign world. Any last words?”

  “BELAYA!”

  Foo-Foo looked up just in time to see a debonair human crash into him. Both the bounty hunter and the actor who portrayed Detective Jim Belaya groaned in pain. The cage stopped closing in on Aja and Krel, its movement halted by the impact on Foo-Foo’s wrist guard.

  Vex hobbled across the gaming pavilion with his cane, knelt in front of the trapped teens, and said, “Remain calm, Royals. You shall be freed in a mekron. If only Nana Domzalski could have witnessed how easily Belaya was bested in the death duel . . . instead of searching for her indolent soolian of a grandson.”

  Foo-Foo didn’t recognize the human’s wrinkled face, but he could never forget his voice—nor the wild gleam in his eyes, even though Vex only had two now instead four.

  “Varvatos! Varvatos! It’s me! Foo-Foo the Destroyer!” Foo-Foo said beneath Belaya. “Remember? We met at Xerexes’s Maelstrom? Well, almost met . . .”

  Vex tried to pull the cage’s light bars apart with his bare hands, grunting, “The commander of the Taylon Phalanx has met many beings on the battlefield, both friend and foe. Yet Varvatos does not recall ever making your acquaintance. Surely Varvatos would remember encountering one with such comically large ears.”

  “You . . . don’t remember?” Foo-Foo asked as pulled his last foot free from under Belaya. “Well, let’s fix that! We should hang out sometime and—”

  “Varvatos Vex does not ‘hang out,’ ” said Vex, giving up on the impenetrable bars.

  “But . . . but . . . but I’ve followed you—stalked you—across the entire universe,” Foo-Foo said, his voice modulator making him sound all the more inhuman. “Aren’t you proud?”

  “ ‘Proud’?” Vex spat, finally regarding Foo-Foo. “Proud that you’ve endangered the cores of two children? No, Varvatos Vex could never be proud of any who would engage in so ignoble a profession as bounty hunting.”

  Foo-Foo looked away in shame and said, “I . . . I was in a bad place after Xerexes. I sort of fell into the whole bounty hunting thing. Besides, who cares about these royals? They don’t get you like I do. Once they’re out of the way, you and I can—”

  “There is no ‘you and I,’ Foo-Foo,” Vex interrupted. “Nor will there ever be. Varvatos Vex has room in his life for only two clueless, needy creatures—and those creatures are Aja and Krel Tarron!”

  “Thank you, Varvatos!” Aja said sincerely.

  “Your words honor us!” Krel added just as earnestly.

  “No,” Foo-Foo said flatly. “You are just confused, Varvatos. Your time with these juveniles on this planet has clouded your vision. It won’t let you see the truth.”

  “The only truth Varvatos sees is how a sad, little critter has obsessed about some chance encounter for far too long,” said Vex.

  Foo-Foo stopped talking. The servos on his mechanical eyes shifted as he saw his idol in a different light. Without warning or emotion Foo-Foo tapped the controls on his arm, compacting the cage once more.

  “I will make you see me the way I see you, Varvatos,” vowed Foo-Foo. “Even if I must kill them to do it!”

  “Wait!” Vex shouted, pounding his cane on the ground for emphasis. “Your quarrel is not with the Tarron royals. Or with any of the innocent—yet deeply misguided—who-mans who have crammed their flabby and overexposed bodies into this endless bunker.”

  A few of the Arcadia-Con attendees who had been eavesdropping lowered their heads and sucked in their guts. Aja and Krel looked from them back to Vex, their faces pressed tight against the quantum bars of the narrowing cage.

  “No, your grudge lies solely with Varvatos Vex, though Varvatos knows not why,” said Vex. “But what if there was some other way to make Varvatos proud of you?”

  “What . . . what is it you propose?” asked Foo-Foo, unable to hide his interest.

  “A test of strategy and mental acumen,” said Vex. “The ultimate match of wits—a who-man deck-building card game.”

  Foo-Foo’s ears twitched as he weighed the offer. More of the surrounding convention guests perked up and shuffled closer. Feeling all their eyes on him, the bounty hunter said, “This is some sort of trick. A lie.”

  “Varvatos Vex is not given to perfidy and has only lied once in his long life,” said Vex, averting his eyes as he recalled his betrayal of Aja and Krel’s parents.

  Of course, the two young royals could not have known what their bodyguard thought in the moment. They were currently preoccupied with getting out of their cage—and with the darling little bounty hunter who had trapped them within it.

  “I can’t stand it!” Aja whispered. “Even when he’s angry, he’s so klebbing cute!”

  “Rest assured, Varvatos Vex holds no advantage over you, as Varvatos only barely comprehends this needlessly complicated game,” said Vex.

  “Hmm . . . and the stakes?” asked Foo-Foo, mulling it over.

  “If Varvatos wins, you will release the royals, leave Earth, and forfeit your bounty,” Vex said. “However, if Varvatos loses, then Varvatos will hand you Aja’s and Krel’s cores himself.”

  “Vex!” said Aja.

  “No!” cried Krel.

  Vex studied Foo-Foo, who actually seemed to consider the terms. The bounty hunter appeared close to accepting the deal. So Vex decided to sweeten it, adding, “You did want to ‘hang out’ with Varvatos Vex, did you not?”

  “More than anything,” answered Foo-Foo.

  “Then put your crestons where your chew-hole is and let the Maze Master deal you in!” finished Vex.

  A pudgy teen in a wizard’s robe genuflected with a flourish before Foo-Foo, shuffling cards as he bowed. The bounty hunter looked from Vex to the caged Aja and Krel, then back to Vex. After a tense beat, he said, “Very well. Foo-Foo the Destroyer accepts your challenge.”

  Foo-Foo paused the cage’s movements, and the relieved Aja and Krel sighed as much as their cramped bodies would let them. Vex then motioned to one of the few folding tables they hadn’t knocked over. He and Foo-Foo sat at opposite ends, never taking their eyes off each other. The Maze Master dealt out cards, puffed on his asthma inhaler, and said, “Mark my words, ye who are about to venture into the realm of Mazes and Monsters. On this, the first eve of Arcadia-Con, a senior citizen and, um, robo-rabbit have entered freely and of their own wills into . . . a sudden death campaign!”

  A hushed murmur spread across the growing crowd as the duly appointed Maze Master explained the rest of the rules. Inside the quantum cage Aja and Krel looked at each other with apprehension, their noses and lips smooshed against the bars. The Maze Master held up a quieting hand, and order was restored to the gaming pavilion. He then handed the thirteen-sided die to Foo-Foo and said, “As ever, the challenged has first roll. Let the game . . . BEGIN!”

  The pubescent Maze Master’s voice cracked on that last word, yet no one noticed. They were far too enrapt in the tournament. Foo-Foo rolled a five, flipped over his first card, and said, “Aha! A Mirror Mage! Deduct five health points, Varv. May I call you ‘Varv’?”

  Vex grunted as if he had been injured in real life, then turned his health card sideways and slid it halfway into his deck. He took the die next, blew on it for luck as Nana had shown him, and rolled an eleven.

  “Glorious!” boomed Vex, turning over his Orc Spy and Immortal Chalice cards. “Varvatos Vex casts a rejuvenation spell and strikes at you with the fabled Fireblade!”

  Foo-Foo slammed a fist on the table, cursing in his native tongue. And so it went, back and forth, point and counterpoint, for the better part of an hour. Aja cheered as Vex stole Foo-Foo’s Queen of Curiosities card. Krel’s teeth gritted when Foo-Foo rolled a wild two, skipping Vex’s next turn and doing double damage. And the attendees of Arcadia-Con—be they young or old, costumed or not—held their collective breaths as the Maze Master announced the final roll. Foo-Foo swirled the die in his paw, tossed it across the game board, and saw the thirteen come up. He thrust his armored arms into the air and shouted, “Yes! That thirteen—coupled with my Horn of Uriel and Iron King cards—makes a critical roll! I win!”

  Half the crowd cheered for Foo-Foo, while the other half groaned in disappointment. Aja and Krel looked at Vex, who appeared resigned to defeat. He tossed his remaining cards onto the table and said, “It would appear that chance favors the bold.” He held his remaining three cards tightly. Foo-Foo leveled his eyes at the Tarron children. He prepared to power up their cage once more and squeeze them into nothingness. Aja and Krel held hands, fearing the worst.

  “And yet,” Vex added loudly, “preparation favors the cunning. For Varvatos Vex has been holding a Roll Reversal card this entire time!”

  He turned over his middle card, and the assorted gamers around him gasped in surprise. Vex stood up mightily, held his cane aloft like a knight’s sword, and yelled, “Varvatos Vex is glorious—and victorious!”

  Foo-Foo the Destroyer stared in disbelief at the card, even as Aja, Krel, and the rest of the tournament spectators cheered for Vex. Honoring their agreement, the bounty hunter deactivated the quantum cage, releasing the royals. Now able to breathe fully again, Aja and Krel hugged.

  “You played well,” said Vex. “Perhaps Foo-Foo the Destroyer and Commander Varvatos Vex could have been friends, had things gone differently on Xerexes.”

  Vex’s sentiments caused something to snap deep inside Foo-Foo’s impenetrable shell. He forgot all about making Commander Vex proud or the outcome of their recent wager. With lightning-fast speed, Foo-Foo the Destroyer lunged at the royals.

  Time seemed to slow down for Aja as the lunatic rabbit creature leaped at her and her brother. She glanced to the side, seeing stunned attendees dressed as dragon princesses, Viking Valkyries, and postapocalyptic female freedom fighters. And in the span of a second, Aja Tarron knew what she should do—what a warrior queen must always do. Aja positioned herself directly in front of Krel and let Foo-Foo’s hard-light dagger stab her in chest.

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9