Raging Blue, page 23
Gavin just smiled again. He hadn’t committed to the idea of letting her sleep over, but again, he didn’t protest and it'd happened. Eventually, he knew he’d have to show up at the other end of their conversations or else he’d find himself in a one-sided situation that would be difficult to escape.
They managed to get dressed quickly. Wearing a tunic dress that ended mid-thigh but continued with another inch of fringe, Lisa looked like she was fit to grace the runways of Paris. Her strong legs robbed Gavin of his focus. He attempted to complement her look with a polished flair of his own. A crisp, butter-colored, button-down, French-cuffed shirt, monogrammed cufflinks, and brown slacks with his dress shoes did the trick for him. Lisa smiled her approval as they walked out the door.
On the ride over the bridge, Gavin found himself worrying about Blue spending her first Thanksgiving alone. His second concern was meeting Lisa’s family, wondering if this would push him further along in the relationship as he continued to participate from the sidelines. He felt like a benched basketball player who had no control or impact on whether or not his team made it to the playoffs. If they played well, he’d reap some of the benefits, but if they didn’t, he could safely say he hadn’t actually contributed to the loss. The passive position wasn’t something he vied for. It just seemed safe.
Gavin finally tuned in completely to Lisa’s conversation as they exited Manhattan by crossing over the Brooklyn Bridge.
“My sister and I are worlds apart, and my mother…well…let’s just say she speaks her mind. Their mouths may be a bit much, but they’re harmless,” Lisa said.
“Okay. I’ll be fine. They can’t be any worse than my family. You haven’t met my cousins,” he chimed in and laughed as if he’d been mentally present for the entire conversation.
Lisa laughed. “Oh, I’d beg to differ. They may give your cousins a run for their money. You only get one family, so I have to accept them. Got to love ‘em.”
Lisa directed Gavin to a bustling neighborhood in the Crown Heights section of Brooklyn which featured a blend of stylishly renovated brownstones juxtaposed against a few dilapidated eyesores. A colorful tapestry of ethnicities sprinkled the block. It was unseasonably cold for the end of November as cold air whipped through the streets. A few pedestrians had wrapped themselves in winter gear to protect themselves from the elements, while others hung out on stoops without coats, as if it were the dead of spring.
Lisa’s mother’s house offered a modest facade that didn’t compete with the fancy finishing touches of the newly renovated homes, but it also didn’t fall among the unkempt models that lacked attention and curb appeal. Lisa’s mother greeted them at the door with her head cocked and one eye shut as the smoke from her Newport spiraled in the air. She took a deep pull, twisted her lips, and let the smoke out the side of her mouth while keeping her eyes on Gavin. Popping the cigarette out of her mouth, she held it low beside her thigh as she leaned in to give Lisa a one-armed embrace.
“Hey, baby!” she greeted. Her husky voice defied her petite presence. She was a darker version of her daughter, but slightly thicker around the edges.
Lisa wrapped both arms around her mom and kissed her on the cheek. Then she turned to Gavin. “Ma, this is Gavin Gray. Gavin, this is my mother, Sandra Langley, but you can call her, Sandra. She can’t stand for a grown person to call her Mrs. Langley.”
“You got that right,” Sandra quipped. “Y’all come on in here,” she said, stepping aside for them to pass. She sized Gavin up from head to toe as he passed. “Um! Nice,” she commented while following behind him. “Lee’s here,” she announced as they made their way into the house.
The atmosphere held a warm and jovial existence. Family memories captured in varying frames gave life to the beige walls. Large cozy furniture filled the room, along with lively conversations from holiday guests and loud voices emanating from the flat-screen TV perched on a black stand near the front entrance. A savory medley of delicious aromas filled the space, causing Gavin’s mouth to water. Immediately, he recognized the smell of collard greens, turkey, and the sweet scent of candied yams.
“Hey, Lee,” sang a thick, short woman who also favored Lisa.
Two rambunctious look-a-likes zoomed around Lisa and latched onto her legs, giggling their greetings to their favorite auntie. Lisa lifted each boy one by one and snuggled her nose into their puffy cheeks.
“Hey, Angela,” Lisa said, leaning over to kiss the slightly shorter woman. “Gavin, this is my sister Angie.” Lisa paused as Gavin smiled and shook Angela’s hand. “Everyone, this is my…” Lisa looked at Gavin “…friend Gavin. Gavin, this is my brother-in-law Rob, my uncle Hubert, my aunt Leslie, and my nephews Ethan and Evan. Everyone, say hello and be on your best behavior. I don’t want you scaring my company away.”
“Oh girl, hush!” teased a heavyset woman, who Lisa introduced as her aunt. After a few attempts, she finally pulled herself up off the couch and waddled toward Gavin for an embrace. “Hi, baby. Nice to meet you. You sure are handsome. Um,” she said before turning her attention to her niece. “Chile, come here and give me some sugar!” Leslie squeezed her niece tight, then pulled her back at arm’s length and took a good look. “You pretty, but is that all the dress you have? ‘Cause your ass is out!” she said, attempting to look behind Lisa. “You bet not bend over or we gonna see all your goods,” she added before waddling back to her spot on the couch.
Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“What’s up, man?” Lisa’s brother-in-law greeted Gavin with a firm handshake.
“It’s good to meet you.”
“Thanks, man. Good to meet you, too,” Gavin said to Rob, but his mind was still stuck on Aunt Leslie’s comment to Lisa about her dress. The woman was bold and he couldn’t tell whether she was joking or not.
Uncle Hubert stood behind Rob, ready for his turn in the receiving line. “Don’t pay my wife too much attention. She has never been able to control her mouth. Stuff hits the brain and out the mouth it comes. It’s nice to meet you, young man. Lee must really like you if she’s bringing you around the family. I wish y’all the best, and hope I don’t ever have to hunt you down and shoot you,” he said while shaking Gavin’s hand. The smell of whiskey sailed past Gavin’s nose.
Gavin chuckled at Hubert’s wisecrack, until he looked up and realized Hubert wasn’t smiling.
“Uh, it’s great to meet you, too, sir,” he replied and turned to Lisa, who didn’t seem moved by her uncle’s threat.
“Dinner’s ready!” Sandra announced.
Everyone quickly filed into the narrow dining room and took their places at a large oak table set for ten. Lisa’s nephews scrambled to sit on either side of her, until their father ordered them to sit near him.
“Auntie has company. You two sit here by me. You’ll have plenty of time to hang with auntie,” Rob instructed.
“You need to come to Brooklyn more, Lee. The boys really miss you,” Angela said.
“I know. Maybe I’ll come by, pick them up, and let them spend the weekend with me. I’ve been so booked up lately that I’ve barely had time for myself. I’ll have to do it soon before all the Christmas parties kick in. I’m scheduled for a lot of holiday events. But, my boys come first. Right, boys!”
“Yeah!” they yelled together.
“Auntie, can you take us to the museum again? We want to see the dinosaurs,” one said.
“Yeah. The dinosaurs were fun! I told my teacher about them,” the other said.
“You got it. I’ll pick you guys up, and we’ll go see the dinosaurs and get something to eat.”
“Yes!” one yelled and pumped his fist. The other squealed with laughter along with the rest of the family.
“Alright, boys. Settle down and let Grandma bless the food so we can eat! Let’s bow our heads,” Sandra said, then started rattling off one of the longest Thanksgiving prayers Gavin had ever heard in his life.
Every time she paused, he’d lift his head thinking she was finished. When he saw everyone else’s eyes were still closed except Uncle Hubert’s, which were intently watching him, he’d quickly lower his head and pretend to listen to Sandra’s long-winded supplication.
When Sandra finally finished, Gavin made sure to be the last to lift his head out of respect. He’d only hoped no one had heard his stomach growling. He couldn’t take the scent of all that great smelling food a moment longer. Conversations were limited as the family indulged, but increased by the time everyone got to the end of the first serving. Then the questions came.
“So, how long have you two been dating?” Uncle Hubert asked.
Before either of them could respond, Aunt Leslie shot off a few questions of her own. "You're not one of the metro-down-low-sexuals, are you? A lot of them are real clean cut and dress sharp, just like you."
Lisa and Angie both yelled,” Auntie!”
Uncle Hubert looked at Gavin’s mouth like he was awaiting his answer.
“Les, you need to stop,” Sandra said, snickering.
“No, ma’am. I’m not gay nor am I on the down-low.”
“Well, that’s good,” she said while slathering her third serving of turkey with cranberry sauce. “It’s hard to tell these days. I see you wearing some nice cufflinks. I know quality when I see it. What you do for a living?” she asked while chewing a wad of turkey.
“I own a sports agency,” Gavin replied politely.
“Very nice! I hope you went to school for that, because we didn’t invest all our time getting Lee through school to be messing around with just any kind of man. Lee always had dreams, and I’d hate to see her with someone who isn’t worth her time. She’s a great catch,” Leslie stated without even looking at Gavin.
The consensus around the table confirmed the fact that trying to bridle Leslie’s tongue was futile. Everyone except Hubert just rolled their eyes and chimed in every now and then, trying to change the subject. Somehow, Leslie always brought the conversation back to Gavin. Where was his family from? How long had he been in business? Had he ever been to jail? How many baby mamas did he have? Leslie was delighted that he wasn’t gay and hadn’t gotten any stray women pregnant. Gavin hung in there like a trooper, tickled by Leslie’s honesty and curiosity. By the end of dinner, Lisa’s eyes begged for his forgiveness. Gavin wasn’t bothered at all. He appreciated her family’s authenticity.
On the way home, Lisa and he joked about the evening as she continued to apologize.
“Do you want me to take you straight home?” Gavin asked as he sped through midtown on the FDR.
“It’s up to you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have to work tomorrow. I could stay another night if you don’t have anything to do.”
Gavin stayed quiet. His phone vibrated. In his heart, he felt like it was Blue. He let his silence do the talking once again and pulled off at his exit near the Upper East Side. If it was Blue calling and he went home alone, he’d surely call her back. Keeping Lisa around gave him an excuse to keep ignoring her.
When they reached his penthouse, Gavin poured them a drink, unbuttoned his shirt, and slopped lazily on the couch with Lisa in his arms. After only moments of sipping, Lisa fell into a light sleep. Gavin eased himself from under her, headed to the bathroom, and pulled out his phone, thumbing through his messages and missed calls. He paused when he saw Blue’s one missed call and then checked his text messages. Among many Thanksgiving wishes, there was one from Blue stating, I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving. I miss you, my friend.
Instinctively, Gavin pressed the talk button, dialing Blue’s number, and she answered on the first ring. When she said hello, a flutter surged through him. He disconnected the call without responding.
Chapter54
Blue
Blue needed to see Gavin. He’d been on her mind for the past few days and she decided that there was no better time than the present. She pulled on a jacket to ward off the crisp, cool evening air and jumped in a taxi, anxious about her unplanned visit. She fought reservations about just showing up during the entire ride over and as she entered the building then called up to Gavin’s penthouse from the lobby phone.
“Hello!” Gavin answered quickly and cheerfully.
“Hi,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t hang up.
“Blue?”
“Can I come up?”
After a long pause, he finally responded as she shifted impatiently on her feet. “I only have a few minutes to spare.”
“This won’t take long. I promise.”
When she reached the penthouse, Gavin was out on the balcony. Weary footsteps carried her across the floor. Each one weighted with foreboding. Surely Gavin knew she was there, but he never turned to acknowledge her. Blue contemplated taking lighter steps back towards the elevator, but instead, she pressed on.
“Hi,” she said to his back.
“Hi,” he responded without turning. “What brings you here?” He finally turned around, stone-faced.
“Gavin…” Now that she was in front of him, she didn’t know where to start, but then the words rushed out. “I need you.” Blue wished she had better control on the reigns holding them in. “I know you’ve been avoiding me. I’m sorry…again. I admit it. I wanted to make Jay jealous. But, that’s not the only reason I made love to you.”
Gavin stood firm on his feet and dared Blue visually. The stern gaze felt like pine needles prickling her skin.
“I made love to you because I wanted to. I'd wanted to for so long. I needed that…from you.” Blue quieted. “After this, I’ll leave.” She paused again. His rigidity taunted her nerves. She shifted her sight away from him. For a few moments, she stared at the floor. She could feel his impatience heightening. Finally, she lifted her eyes to meet his.
“I love you.”
Blue started her long walk back to the elevator. She hated the fact that she'd failed Gavin. She felt his eyes on her back as she walked out of his life for good. Besides realizing she was in love with him, she recognized that he was also a true friend. His absence left a gaping hole in her life. If she couldn’t move on with him in her life as a lover, she at least wanted her friend back. Either way, she needed to put it all on the line, let the chips fall where they may. One way or the other, she had to bring closure to the distance that had grown between them.
“You love me?” He sounded surprised.
She froze. “I do,” she said without turning back to face him. She started walking again, hoping he’d say something else, yet knowing he probably wouldn’t.
“How do you know?” he asked.
Blue’s heart pounded in her chest. “I realized it that day. After that, I knew for sure when you refused to talk to me or answer my calls,” she said, still afraid to look at him.
She wanted to say more, but her lips wouldn’t cooperate with her mind. She couldn’t bring herself to say that she found herself needing him more than she'd ever felt she needed Jay. She wished he could read her mind so she wouldn’t have to search for the words to explain how his absence suffocated her. Surely she couldn’t tell him that she’d come by so many times before but didn’t have the courage to ask to be invited in. Though she had nothing against her personally, she could never mention how much she envied Lisa for simply being able to have a normal conversation with him. The destruction of their friendship and whatever else they could have had, had fallen on her.
“That’s funny,” Gavin said.
Blue sucked her teeth and picked up her pace.
“Because I love you, too…and I always have,” he added, causing her to stop in her tracks.
Stunned by Gavin’s admission, Blue played with the words in her head, second-guessing what she’d heard.
“But, you belonged to Jay,” he continued. “When he hurt you, I wanted to rescue you from all the pain, but then you did what you did.”
Blue faced him. They locked eyes. Neither of them heard the elevator chime. Then the doors opened, and Lisa stepped into the penthouse.
“I’m so sorry, Gavin,” Blue said as hot tears fell from her eyes. “If you could ever forgive me, I promise…” Blue noticed the shift in Gavin’s eyes and turned around.
Lisa stood with her hand on her hip and her lips tight. “Don’t let me interrupt.”
Her tone was polite, but Blue felt the bitterness behind the words. She didn’t know how much Lisa knew about her, but she sensed she didn’t like her. Women knew when other women had interests in their men. Blue detected that Lisa saw her as a threat by way of her demeanor and her scrutinizing eyes. Lisa’s intent stare was confirmation. Some knowledge of Blue had obviously preceded this chance meeting. Why else would Lisa seem to cast such a callous vibe? Especially since this was the first time Blue had ever set eyes on this woman.
Blue looked to Gavin. He looked between the two women and took a deep breath. It seemed like everyone in the room waited for him to determine where the moment would go from there.
“Blue, I’ll call you,” he said dismissively, and then he turned his attention to Lisa. “I need to talk to you.”
Feeling an odd mix of dejection and excitement, Blue dragged herself to the elevator to leave. She replayed the words that contributed to her state of flux over and over in her head.
Because I love you, too, but then you did what you did.
Chapter 55
Mia
Despite fatigue, sleep evaded Mia for most of the night, again. For days, her nerves had been twisted in knots. She squeezed her eyes shut, then gave up and huffed. Her night spent in jail, Jay’s behavior since their trip to New York, and the possibility of going to prison made her weary. She threw the covers back and went to the bathroom. Once she returned, she decided to check in on Jay. She found herself standing in the doorway, watching him sleep in the other room. In her mind, she slipped into the bed beside him. In reality, she knew he’d protest. The certainty of rejection sent her dragging back to her room.
Mia slid back into bed alone and longed for sleep. Suddenly, her eyes popped open from the surge of pain in her abdomen. The quick bolt took her breath away and left her clutching her lower stomach. Ten minutes later, it was back. This time, Mia sat straight up in bed spurting labored breaths. She thought about what she’d eaten the night before, and then blamed it on the anxiety from the turmoil infiltrating her life. Another surge struck her, and she cried out, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and panted.
