Driven to Protect, page 10
“We are flying to Monaco tonight, then will head to Abu Dhabi as late as possible before FP1 on Friday.” Paulo’s voice was quieter than usual.
“Cool.” Cohen probably should reassure Paulo a bit more, especially because his sense of identity was so new and he was worried about the impact of him having to head back into the closet when he’d barely left. Or perhaps the brilliant sex they’d enjoyed last night was having an impact on Cohen’s own perceptions. Shit, that was the most likely reason he was feeling so much today.
“Sounds like you guys have plenty to talk about,” Jaxxon said. “Don’t sweat too much. Every year, we travel to nations that aren’t welcoming and everyone in the team remains safe. We have to be careful and we need to plan, that’s all. Being part of a big event like this helps a lot; it gives us a lot more leeway and privilege than we’d otherwise have.”
“Okay.” Cohen hadn’t been part of a team of people who went out of their way to make sure he was safe and protected, and it was odd having the shoe on the other foot. He was used to being the protector.
“I’m heading to England tonight. Paulo, we’ll talk on the phone tomorrow. I want more of the same energy we’ve seen in the last two races. Let’s get you another podium to end the season.” Jaxxon shook their hands, clapping Paulo on the back for good measure.
“I’ll do my best.” Paulo’s solemn response was enough for Cohen to usher him out of the room quickly. If he’d learned anything watching him for the past month, Cohen knew that Paulo was overthinking this whole interaction and he’d need some reassurance. One thing about having been out and queer since he was a teenager—literally a queer elder by most measures—was that Cohen had strong coping mechanisms. They walked in silence back to Paulo’s hotel room, and they’d barely made it inside when Paulo turned around.
“I’m so fucking sorry. I was so worried about you and I shouldn’t have made a decision for you without asking first.”
“Apology accepted.”
“That’s it?”
“Yes. Jaxxon had made it clear, back in Mexico, that Gamble Racing is a safe place for me.” And for Paulo too.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I am pleased with the efforts the team is doing to ensure everyone’s safety, not just mine. Now stop thinking too hard, and let’s get you ready for the next race.” Cohen avoided the real issue; how it made him feel to have Paulo decide to go into a dangerous place without him. His job was to protect Paulo. He wasn’t about to abandon him, especially not in a place where they were both at risk.
Paulo’s breathing slowed down. “Okay. Are we good?”
“Yes. We are good.”
Chapter 11
Cohen stood back, leaning against the rear wall of the pit garage, as Ondrej and Paulo walked inside. Ondrej had finished the final race of the season in third, with Paulo just behind in fourth. Every team member swamped the two drivers, hugging them and laughing, slapping each other on the back. It was loud and glorious, and Cohen ended up in the middle of everyone as he tried to push through the crowd towards Paulo. The swarm of people spilled out of the garage into the pitlane. Joyous shouts filled the air. Finally, Cohen stood in front of Paulo. His hair was all slick with sweat, stuck out at strange angles after he’d wiped his face with a towel after taking his helmet off. Cohen grinned up at him.
“Congratulations.”
“Cohen. How good is this!” Paulo grabbed Cohen around the shoulders and swung him around. A few flashes registered in Cohen’s peripheral vision. Cameras? Paulo was laughing as he put Cohen down and leaned down to brush a kiss against Cohen’s cheek. What the fuck?
“Careful.” The spontaneous kiss was amazing, but obviously Paulo had forgotten where he was. At Cohen’s warning, Paulo stiffened. With jerky movements, he grabbed the person standing beside Cohen and hugged them too. Cohen stood there, still surrounded by people and noise, just blinking and breathing. Had Paulo just kissed him on the cheek? In public. In Abu Dhabi. Fuck. And worse—those flashes had definitely been cameras. He pushed through past all his teammates and marched up to the cameraman standing at the edge of the pit garage.
“Cohen Wright. Security for Gamble Racing. I need to look at all your photos.”
“No.”
Cohen knew he had no ground to stand on here. He had no legal reason to make his demands. “Look, can we talk about this?”
“Why?”
“Do you understand the local laws around homophobia?”
“No.”
Cohen had to make this sound generic. “If you’ve been following S1 for a while, you’ll know that a few members of the Gamble team are openly gay.”
“And?”
“It’s illegal in Abu Dhabi.”
“Seriously?” The cameraman was obviously straight if he was oblivious to the bigoted laws here.
“Yes. The consequences are very serious. All I’m asking is that you are careful about the perceived way any photos of team members might be taken, given the local laws and the common knowledge about some of our team. We would appreciate your assistance in keeping people safe.”
The cameraman nodded. “Of course. I had no idea. I’ll talk to all my colleagues too. No hugging photos from this race.”
“Thank you. We appreciate it. It’s something that shouldn’t be an issue. Teammates enjoying a good result shouldn’t have to come with a worry that they might be seen as breaking an unfair law.”
“Of course.”
“Thank you. I didn’t catch your name?” Cohen glanced down at the big press lanyard the man wore.
“Alan Hickwater.”
“Alan. Thank you so much for your consideration.”
“I appreciate the heads up. Ondrej D’Grieg is a fantastic driver. It’s a terrible shame that his sexuality makes him unsafe. Love is love, you know.”
Cohen pinched his lips together. “Yeah, except not here in Abu Dhabi.”
“I’ll talk to everyone I know and make sure they are careful.” Alan cast his gaze around the garage. The team was still celebrating wildly. “Perhaps you could arrange some exclusive photos with both drivers?”
Cohen grinned. “I’ll see what I can do. Wait here.” He turned towards the crowd, looking first for Paulo who was still handing out congratulations to each team member. Jaxxon clambered up on a large box at the back of the pit garage.
“Hey everyone.”
The crowd stilled at his command and turned towards him. Cohen spotted an opportunity and quickly walked back to Alan.
“Come.” He guided Alan into the pit garage—somewhere the press weren’t usually allowed—careful to guide him away from any confidential items like their massive bank of computers that processed all the data. “You can stand here and take a few photos of Jaxxon’s end of season speech as an exclusive.” Not having permission to bring a cameraman into the garage was probably a breach of his contract. Cohen gulped; it didn’t matter. This would ensure the safety of everyone in their team, and most importantly, if any photos of Paulo kissing his cheek existed, they’d never become public.
“Ondrej and Paulo; get up here.”
Alan lifted his camera to his face. The huge lens didn’t hide the grin on his face, as the two drivers made their way through the crowd to stand next to Jaxxon.
“Two seasons ago, this team stood in the pitlane here at Abu Dhabi with just one point for the whole season. We were last by a long way, and it looked like everything Socrates had built up with Gamble Racing since the nineties would fail. Two seasons ago, this race was a disaster. Now we stand here as a team with drivers who finished today’s race in third and fourth.”
The cheer that rang out was loud with a capital L.
“And most importantly, Gamble Racing finished third in the constructor’s championship. Third.”
Cohen wasn’t sure how the cheers could get any louder, but they did.
“Third, third.” The chant began somewhere near Jaxxon and soon the whole team was jumping up and down in time, repeating that single word. Third. After a long time, Jaxxon raised up his hands and everyone stopped.
“Next season. Number one.”
Fuck. The noise was deafening. Incredible. Eventually, things quieted down enough for Jaxxon to remind everyone there was plenty of work to do to pack up. “Once we are back in England, we’ll have a proper party. Until then, let’s get everything packed up and sent home. Stay safe, everyone.”
It was satisfying to see Alan’s smile disappear with the reminder from the Team Principal.
“Thank you for that.” Alan dropped his camera so it hung around his neck again.
“No problem. Just remember what we talked about, and I hope it goes without saying, that even the straight members of our team are at risk by association, so please be careful with every photo.” Cohen could protect Paulo from his father with that excuse. It was true anyway. If the authorities here in Abu Dhabi had the inclination to arrest Ondrej, they’d have no conniptions with widening their noose to everyone else in the team, simply by association. Alan thanked him again and walked back out into the pitlane, back to where he was allowed to be. It wouldn’t be until they were safely back in their hotel, hours later, that Cohen could let himself touch his cheek and remember the spontaneous press of Paulo’s lips against his skin.
***
Paulo was so fucking glad to be back in Monaco. Cohen was safe again.
“What happens now?” Cohen stood in Paulo’s apartment staring out the glass windows overlooking the sea. The weather was terrible today with wintery grey skies and a misty fog rising off the Mediterranean.
“We have about a week to find you an apartment, then we have to be in England for the end of season stuff. After that, it’s the winter break.”
“The winter break?”
“Yes. If you need to take leave, it’s a good time as I’m going to sleep and play games in my apartment for a few weeks, then probably head to São Paulo for Christmas with my family unless I can avoid it. There’s nothing much on during December. In January, we usually have a pre-season fitness camp for the team, then in February, I’ll be getting into pre-season testing.”
“Okay.”
“Are we good?”
“Of course.” Cohen’s answer wasn’t exactly helpful.
Paulo sighed. He needed to clear this up. “The sex in Brazil was amazing and I don’t want it to be a once off. I know I’ve been distant this week—”
“You’ve literally been working.”
“Yes. I also don’t want to be that rich guy who takes advantage. I’m stressed about how your job takes you to places where you might not be safe. I’m having a lot of feelings.” Ergh. Paulo wanted the floor to open up and hide him, but he’d had this spinning in his head whenever he wasn’t behind the wheel of his car, so...
“Those places aren’t safe for you either. Besides, you aren’t taking advantage of me. If anything, I’m the one doing that.”
“How do you figure?” Paulo stared at Cohen, unable to work out how he’d come to that conclusion. Paulo had money and was essentially Cohen’s employer; not technically anymore but naturally he had more power in this situation. Or was it a relationship? Whatever they were.
“I’ve been openly queer for years. I know exactly who I am. You, on the other hand, have only told a few people. You have trusted me and your team with knowledge that could make your life incredibly difficult, and, for me, that evens out any power imbalance created by your wealth. I think we are uneven in an even way.”
Paulo replayed Cohen’s words a few times. “That makes some type of sense. What now?”
“I think we need to decide if Brazil was a one-off, or if we are going to keep having sex, and if that sex will be part of a closer relationship.”
“Are those the options?” Paulo had plenty of feelings for Cohen; more than just physical attraction to his confidence. He took a punt. This felt the same as the moment in a race when a gap opened in front of him, and he was going fly through it. “I want everything with you. I employed you because the minute you kicked that guy to save Stanley, I knew I couldn’t walk away from you. I had to have you; not just as a bodyguard—that was just an excuse—but with me. Every minute we’ve spent together since then only reinforces that I’m safe with you. I can be me, and you’ll support me even when I fuck up. I—” Could he say this? He gulped. “I think I might be falling in love with you?”
From the way, Cohen covered his mouth, it was too soon to say that. Then a long moment later, Cohen removed his hand and nodded.
“Paulo. I have no idea how you’ve managed to not tell people you are pansexual until now. You just blurt stuff out all the time.” He shook his head, but he was smiling at Paulo as if he liked it.
“Only with you. I’ve always been comfortable to be myself around you.”
“There are lots of reasons why I shouldn’t agree to this...” Cohen paused and Paulo’s mouth went dry.
“But?” Please let there be more.
“You are under my protection. You are so young.”
“Not that young. I’m twenty-two.”
“And I’m twenty-eight. Maybe in a decade those six years won’t matter. Right now, there is a vast difference in our life experience.” Cohen shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Damn it. There’s something about you that I can’t resist. I want to be with you and all the reasons why it might be not sensible or might not make sense... well, none of those reasons matter when I’m in the same room as you.”
“Oh.” Paulo couldn’t have hoped for a better answer. “Should we try and have a relationship?”
“I think so. You are honest enough that I know you’ll talk about it if it starts to feel weird.”
Paulo laughed, a puff of relief more than a joyous noise. “It feels weird not to kiss you.” He walked towards Cohen who reached out and pulled him closer for a kiss.
“Feels like home.” Paulo murmured against Cohen’s lips before he let himself sink into the kiss. Cohen’s signature vanilla cookies taste surrounded him; somehow unique and comforting and fucking sexy all at once. The prickle of Cohen’s beard added to the swirling sensations that settled the unsteady thump in Paulo’s chest.
Cohen pulled back. “I still want my own place.”
“Anything.” Paulo needed more kisses.
“Not forever. But if this is going to work, and we are going to work together, it’ll be good to take it slowly.”
“We can still have sex though?” Paulo’s face flamed.
“Absolutely. In fact, if you don’t let me fuck you now, I’ll reconsider this boyfriend business.”
“What?” Paulo gasped, but the grin across Cohen’s face had him shaking his head. “You are the fucking worst. And also the best.”
“I do like to tease you.”
Paulo made an embarrassing mewling sound. “Please.”
“I wonder...”
“What?” Paulo would say yes to almost anything if it made the man in his arms happy.
“I wonder where your limit is.”
Paulo wanted to know too. “Could we find out together?”
“Patience. We have a whole lifetime.”
Paulo’s body filled with a wonderous warmth. A whole lifetime with Cohen sounded fucking amazing. “I want to try it all now.”
Cohen leaned closer, then sucked Paulo’s bottom lip into his mouth. Hard enough that it stung a little. Just hard enough to send delicious shots of electricity through his body into his ramrod hard cock. He gulped.
“Are you always in this much of a rush?”
“I drive fast for a job. Yes.”
Cohen tilted his head for a second. “Can you do three things for me?”
“Yes.” Anything.
“One. Get undressed. Two. Kneel on your bed. Three.” Cohen paused.
“Three?” Paulo’s breath was hot in his throat.
“Well, I was going to ask you to wear a smoky eyeshadow on those gorgeous eyes when you take me out to dinner...” Cohen paused again, but this time, Paulo didn’t bite. He just growled a little.
“Get your favourite lube and I’ll fuck you.”
“Please. Yes. And thank you.” Paulo kissed Cohen hard on the mouth, then stepped away to strip off his clothes.
Chapter 12
Cohen couldn’t believe he was paid to do this. Aside from one quick trip to England, and a week at Nungwi Beach in Zanzibar—with the whole team to celebrate coming third in the constructor’s championship—they’d spent the entirety of December hanging out together, mostly in Paulo’s apartment in Monaco, never bothering to rent one for Cohen since he woke up in Paulo’s bed, spent the whole day with him, then went back to bed with him. Every morning, they’d both work out in the gym in the apartment complex, and while Paulo said he was only doing off season maintenance, Cohen had pushed himself harder than ever before. He was getting really buff, and he loved it. It was a thrill to see Paulo loving how much stronger Cohen had become lately. Back in Austin, he hadn’t had the time or money for a gym and had used various free resources on the internet to build up his body. It was funny how being rich just made things easier; not that he was rich, but Paulo was rich and that meant Cohen had access to the same things now.
The whole month had felt like a honeymoon, just hanging out together, going to the gym, driving around France and Italy in Paulo’s rare sports car, and lots and lots of sex. Everything was wonderful. His phone rang.
“Lilly-Anne. How are you?”
“I’m good but not as good as you.”
“What do you mean?”
“You sound happy. It’s awesome.”
Cohen frowned. He didn’t think he was unhappy before he started working for Paulo. He hummed a non-response.
“I mean it, you sound great. Must be that man of yours. I. Can. Not. Believe that you two are thing. Seriously?”
“Lilly-Anne. As if you hadn’t worried about this from the start when he plucked me away from Horny’s to work for him. And you need not have worried. He’s cool. We’re cool.”
