Picture Perfect Family, page 15
“Mandy, he never had a chance to ask.”
She continued to shake her head. “Daniel, how can you ask me to go to a group like that? Doesn’t it still hurt you, the way it hurts me? How are we supposed to get with those other people and act like everything is okay? Everything isn’t okay.” She closed her eyes, frustrated that she was taking it out on him, when he’d been through the same thing. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I don’t mean to make it sound like I don’t appreciate what you’re doing. I do. But I’m not ready for that. You and I are different that way. You forgive and forget easier. I don’t. And I don’t think I ever will.”
“Mandy, will you hear me out on why I think this is important?” he asked, taking her hand. “Come on, let’s sit and talk for a minute.”
Her jittery heart seemed to calm down a bit when his hand closed around hers, the warmth of his fingers enveloping her own and making her feel more at ease. “Daniel, I know you mean well, but you’re asking too much. Let’s go have dinner tonight and spend some time together, like we did on Saturday. I loved that, and I really want to be with you, just not at that support group.”
He guided her to the bench, sat down and tenderly took her other hand, as well. Those brilliant blue eyes captured hers and studied her for a moment before he finally spoke. “I had planned to talk to you about this tonight, at the end of the night,” he said. “But I need you to know everything, how I’m feeling now and what I’m thinking about us and our future.”
A tremor of hope touched her heart. He was thinking about a future with her. “Okay.”
“Mandy, spending time with you over the past week, especially at the fishing hole on Saturday, has made me realize several things about myself and about how I feel about you.” He smiled. “How I believe I’ve felt about you for quite some time, even if I wasn’t willing to admit it.”
Mandy held her breath, fearing what he might say while also hoping to hear the words she dreamed Daniel Brantley would one day profess to her.
“Mandy, I’ve been attracted to you for as long as I can remember,” he said, a slight smile playing with his lips as he spoke. “I’m fairly certain I’ve also been fighting that attraction for as long as I can remember, because I didn’t think you knew what you wanted back then. And I didn’t know if you were what I needed, with your eagerness to see the world and to leave everything behind.”
She opened her mouth, but he moved his finger to her lips and gave her another grin.
“Hear me out first, please,” he repeated.
Mandy nodded, enjoyed the feel of that finger against her lips for another moment, then kept her mouth shut when he eased it away, sliding it along her jawline and down her throat.
“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered longingly. He paused a moment, then continued, “This past week I’ve realized that you don’t have to leave Claremont to be happy, that what you’ve needed was to have a reason to stay. And Kaden—and hopefully now I—have given you that. I want to stay here, too, Mandy, with you. I want to raise Kaden with you, and I want us to be a part of each other’s lives completely.”
Mandy felt her heart pound in her chest. “I want that, too.”
“But there’s something missing, Mandy, and I think you feel it, too.” When she didn’t say anything, he said, “I’m a man of God. He’s called me to preach his word, and I plan to do that until the day I die. And I can’t see myself in a lifelong relationship—a marriage—with anyone who doesn’t trust in Him.” His eyes misted over, and the sight pierced Mandy’s heart.
“Mandy, I love you. I’ve realized that over the past few days, and I think I’ve loved you for quite some time. I was just fighting it. But I need God in any relationship that I’m in—I don’t think a marriage can survive without Him. And I think you may blame Him for what happened with Mia.”
“I blame the guy that got behind the wheel drunk,” Mandy said quickly, her emotions in a tailspin. Daniel had finally told her that he loved her, something she’d dreamed about for most of her life. And then he’d told her it wouldn’t work. The pain of that was worse than the knowledge that she finally had his love.
“But if you didn’t blame God, too, why can’t you pray? And why won’t you go to church with me and Kaden?”
She couldn’t answer, because she couldn’t deny the truth. She did blame God. She blamed God and she blamed that thoughtless guy that climbed behind the wheel that night and took Mandy’s last link of family. And right now, she blamed God for causing her to be so warped that Daniel didn’t think they could have a relationship.
“How do you think that going to that support group will help?” she asked, grasping at straws and already knowing she was coming up short. She couldn’t go to that meeting. She just couldn’t.
“You need to forgive, Mandy,” Daniel said. “You need to forgive the guy that made a horrible mistake that cost Mia and Jacob their lives. And you need to stop blaming God and start letting Him help you through the pain. He’s the only one that can make it better.”
She shook her head. “And unless I can do that, you can’t love me.”
“Mandy, I don’t think there’s anything that could make me stop loving you now. But I can’t have a relationship with you, not the kind I want to have, if you won’t let God in. And to do that, you need to forgive.”
She finally had everything she’d ever wanted. Kaden. Daniel. Daniel’s love. But even the thought of having all of that didn’t take away the pain of everything she’d lost. “I’m sorry, Daniel. I can’t.”
Chapter Fourteen
For two weeks, Mandy and Daniel took turns keeping Kaden depending on their work schedules or what Kaden had going on with T-ball and church. Every time they saw each other, it was simply to take care of Kaden’s needs, and despite the circumstances, they did their best imitation of normalcy.
But Mandy suspected that Kaden was on to the change, because his prayers at night had now started including the same simple phrase.
Please bless Aunt Mandy and Uncle Daniel and help them be really really happy again.
And each and every time Daniel picked Kaden up for church, Daniel asked the same thing. “Come with us, Mandy. Please.”
And she’d answered with the same exact words she’d said two weeks ago. “I can’t.”
Ditto for the trips to the support group meetings. Daniel would call and ask Mandy to come give it a try, tell her how much it was helping him heal. And Mandy would turn him down again. She couldn’t forget, and she couldn’t forgive. And because of that, she couldn’t have the relationship she wanted with Daniel.
It hurt her heart, but that was how things were. The only blessing was that Daniel hadn’t said anything else about pursuing custody of Kaden. Apparently since he now believed she wasn’t leaving town and since she was willing to share Kaden’s time, he was okay with that. Thank goodness. She couldn’t handle fighting with Daniel over Kaden. She didn’t want to go through that kind of pain, and she didn’t want Kaden to go through it, either. More than that, she just didn’t want to fight with Daniel.
She wanted to love him.
“Aunt Mandy, can dreams change?”
Mandy had been tying the laces on Kaden’s cleats to get him ready for his first official game, but her hands paused and she looked up at his concerned face. This was his first day back with her after spending the weekend with Daniel, and now she wondered if he and Daniel had had some discussion on dreams and Daniel had forgotten to clue her in. “Can they change?” she repeated blankly.
He nodded. “Yeah, like, if your dream changes a little is it still the same dream? Or is it a different dream, then?”
She had to think about that one. She let her hands continue the process of tying his shoes while she pondered the answer, then she finally said, “I think it’s still the same dream.”
“Okay.”
After she’d double-knotted both shoes, she asked, “Kaden, are you talking about your dream?”
“Yeah. I think it’s about to happen, but then I got to thinking that it isn’t really the same dream anymore. So I didn’t know if it still counted when it comes true. If it can change a little, then it almost happened one time already.”
Mandy felt as if she was attempting to solve a puzzle with key pieces missing. “It almost happened?”
He nodded cryptically.
“When?” she asked.
“Saturday.”
Okay, Saturday. They’d spent the morning at the T-ball field for a practice game and then he’d gone back home with Daniel since she had several photo shoots that afternoon. She couldn’t recall anything at the T-ball field that would have potentially been Kaden’s dream. So something must have happened that afternoon with Daniel, but Daniel hadn’t mentioned anything.
Her mind whispered that if she and Daniel were together, really together, then she probably wouldn’t have missed Kaden’s big moment.
A knock at the back door signaled Daniel’s arrival.
“Hey, he’s here. It’s almost time for the first game!” Kaden said, running to the door and flinging it open. Then he stepped back from Daniel and held his arms wide. “I’m ready! The real uniform and everything!”
“Yes, you certainly are,” Daniel said, squatting down to eye level with Kaden. “Give me a hug. This is a big day.”
Kaden jumped into his arms, while Mandy’s heart pulled in her chest.
“You ready to go?” Daniel asked Mandy.
She blinked. Okay, she had thought since he and Kaden were going an hour early to make sure everything was ready for the game, she would simply drive over later. But he was including her in the early arrival. Since that night when he’d confessed his love and then she’d refused to forgive, they hadn’t been in a vehicle together. She’d missed the closeness of riding to the field and of simply feeling like a real family. Her throat tightened, and she swallowed past the burn of oncoming tears.
“Mandy?” Daniel asked again.
“Come on, Aunt Mandy. We gotta hurry!”
“Yes, I’m ready,” she said. “Let me just go tell Nadia that I’m leaving.” Thrilled to be included in Daniel and Kaden’s trip to the field, Mandy darted up front to find her new employee.
Nadia looked up from the computer, grinned and said, “We just received John Cutter’s order for Casey’s pictures. He picked the same ones that I thought were best.”
“That’s great,” Mandy said.
“Casey really takes great pictures, doesn’t he? I mean, it looks just like him, but on the farm he looks so relaxed and at ease, especially when he’s with his horse, don’t you think?”
“Yes, I do,” Mandy said, wanting to hurry back to Daniel and Kaden but not wanting to be rude to the sweet girl. Nadia had proven to be a godsend, always working, always smiling.
“Did I hear Mr. Brantley back there?” Nadia asked.
“Yes. It’s Kaden’s first ball game, and they’ve asked me to ride with them to the game. Can you lock up when you leave?”
“Sure,” Nadia said, her smile widening. “I’m glad you’re all going together.” She’d sensed Mandy’s sadness over the past two weeks and had undoubtedly put two and two together.
“Thanks, Nadia.”
“My folks said that Casey can pick me up tonight, and we’re going to a movie, I think,” Nadia said brightly.
“I’m glad. Have a good time.”
“I will.”
Mandy grabbed her camera bag then hurriedly returned to the back of the store. Daniel and Kaden sat buckled up in the truck, Kaden once again wearing his batting helmet while traveling. She locked the back door, sprinted to the truck and jumped in the front seat.
“Everything okay?” Daniel asked, backing out of the parking space.
Mandy nodded. “Yes,” she said. Everything was okay. Not exactly the way she wanted it to be, but much better than she’d anticipated. She was riding to Kaden’s first T-ball game with Daniel, and even if he couldn’t give her the happily-ever-after she wanted, at least he could give her this.
In fifteen minutes, they were at the field. Daniel parked the truck, got out and watched as Kaden crawled across the seat and jumped to the ground. “You ready for your first game?” Daniel asked.
“Am I!” Kaden said, smiling from ear to ear. “I’m gonna hit it hard and run fast and not get out!”
Daniel held up a palm, and Kaden gave it a high five. “Sounds great.”
Mandy was so grateful that Daniel brought her to the game early so she could witness every moment of this memory with Kaden. She waited for Kaden to move to the back of the truck and climb up on the tailgate to start tossing out bases, bats, and gloves. Then she stepped closer to Daniel and murmured, “Thanks.”
He didn’t ask why she was thanking him; he simply said, “There are going to be times when we should all be together. This is one of those times.” Then he looked again at Mandy. “You’re still adorable.”
She had on his old baseball jersey, a pair of blue jean shorts and a baseball cap with her ponytail poking through the back. She’d hardly put on any makeup, because it was getting pretty hot out, and she figured she’d probably sweat it all off at the field. “I think you’re being nice,” she said.
“I think I’m being honest.” His words warmed her completely, even more when she noticed his eyes linger on her lips. “I’ve missed you, Mandy. And I don’t know what to do about where we are.”
“I’ve missed you, too,” she said. Hadn’t been able to eat. Hadn’t been able to sleep. But also hadn’t been able to bring herself to go to one of those meetings, step one foot in church or even pray. “And I don’t know what to do about it, either.” She knew what he wanted her to do, but she just didn’t see how that would ever happen if she had no desire for any of that.
It didn’t take long before the Rangers and the Marlins began gathering on the field. Kaden ran there, and Mandy helped Daniel get all of the equipment situated in the dugout before his team took their positions. “Kaden really wants to score today,” she said.
“I’m betting he will,” Daniel said. “That’s the great thing about T-ball. The kids are still learning how to get each other out, and usually the innings end not because of three outs but because a team reaches the five-run limit.”
“Well, he said his dream might come true today, so I’m thinking that might be it, to score in a real game,” Mandy said.
“You might be right,” Daniel mused. “You brought your camera, right?”
“Oh, I left my camera in the truck. Be right back.”
“Okay,” he said, smiling and seeming more at ease with her than he’d been during the past two weeks. Maybe things would get a little better now. Mandy sure hoped so. Even if she couldn’t have what she wanted, at least she could have a good relationship with Daniel for Kaden’s sake.
Mandy got the camera and returned to find the Rangers all on the field with Daniel hitting baseballs for fielding practice. Kaden, one of the tallest on the team, stood in center field and had his hands on his knees, down and ready, the way Daniel had taught him.
Then the Marlins began warming up. Both teams tossed the ball around the field and pretty much every player ran from his or her position to try to field the ball. It was hysterical and endearing.
Finally the first player came up to bat, and Mandy watched the little girl hit the ball to center field, straight to Kaden. His fellow players in left field, in right field and the girl playing second all turned and started running toward the ball while Daniel tried to get their attention and tell them to stay put. None of them were having any part of that; they all wanted the ball. But Kaden ran up and got to it first then threw it as hard as he could toward the other team’s dugout. Mandy snapped several pictures of him fielding the ground ball.
Kaden saw her with the camera and waved wildly after he tossed the ball, which caused even more laughter in the stands. Since Kaden’s throw put the ball in the opposite dugout, the batter consequently moved to second base before Kaden’s first baseman was able to get the ball and run it all the way to the pitcher.
The stands roared with cheers and laughter, everyone enjoying the sweetness of seeing the kids learn the game.
Mandy snapped photo after photo of Kaden and his teammates throughout several innings. And in the third inning Kaden not only got on base but three teammates after him also got on, which put him crossing home plate amid the cheers of Mandy and the remainder of fans watching the game, which included Jessica, Nathan and Lainey, since Daniel had recruited Chad to be a base coach.
When Kaden got back to the dugout, Mandy zoomed in with her camera and got another great shot.
“Aunt Mandy, did you see me?” he called, his face pressed against the chain link of the dugout fence.
“Yes, Kaden, I did!”
“Did you see me, Nathan?”
“Yep, I saw you!” Nathan said. “Good job!”
“Wasn’t it awesome?” Kaden yelled.
“It sure was!” Mandy yelled back, her heart bursting with pride.
Then the inning ended and they returned to the field, while Mandy tried to figure out exactly what composed Kaden’s dream. In the fifth and final inning, she found out.
Kaden put on his batting helmet and took his practice swings while alternating between giving Mandy, Daniel and Nathan a thumbs-up after every rotation.
Daniel had recruited Mitch for a base coach, and he stood to the right of first, while Chad stood to the left of third. The boy in front of Kaden made it to first, and then it was Kaden’s turn to bat.
Kaden gave everyone another thumbs-up as he moved to the batter’s box, and Daniel put the ball on the tee. Mandy listened as Daniel gave him the same instructions he’d been giving him every day at practice.
