“To gemstones?” Lincoln slipped his arm back into Eli’s. “You know I love looking at the cursed necklace.”

  The rest of the day proceeded in much the same way. Eli tried his best to snap pictures as Lincoln erratically darted from one exhibit to the next in the same manner a bee bounces between flowers. By the time they circled back around to the entrance, the sun was setting, and Lincoln had lost some of his pep.

  “What next?” Eli glanced down at his watch. “Should we get some pictures of you out among friends? The DC nightlife would make a good backdrop. It would make you look fun and adventurous.”

  “Let’s not be misleading,” said Lincoln with a self-deprecating smirk. “We both know I lean toward the antisocial end of the spectrum. Let’s just take a few sunset pictures in front of the Washington Monument on our way home.”

  “There is nothing wrong with that.” Eli steered Lincoln toward the entrance doors.

  As they stepped out into the frigid evening air, he gasped. The snow had stopped, and the clouds had parted to reveal a deep red orb low on the horizon. It cast a golden light upon the snow: perfect for photography. Eli rushed Lincoln across the snow-covered grass of the National Mall until they were lined up with the monument.

  “Do a cartwheel,” he said. “Quick, before the sun sets.”

  Lincoln rushed to comply, rolling and tumbling athletically through the snow. Eli snapped in rapid succession, admiring his friend’s agility. After several attempts Lincoln stood up and brushed the snow from his hands.

  “I can’t do any more.” He groaned. “My fingers are numb.” As he strolled up to Eli, he added, “Why do they line pockets with silky fabric? It’s so cold.”

  “Here.” Eli took Lincoln’s hands between his own. He blew some warm air between their fingers and then pulled Lincoln’s hand into his pocket. The gesture pushed the bounds of friendship, but there were only so many chances before he had to design that damned website. “Better?” he asked.

  “Yeah….” Lincoln glanced at the pocket with a carefully vacant expression.

  “I have one more idea,” said Eli brightly.

  “By all means.” Lincoln pulled out of Eli’s grip only long enough to intertwine their fingers. “Lead the way.”

  Eli listened to the quiet rhythm of Lincoln’s breath and the crunch of snow beneath their shoes as they finished crossing the National Mall and descended into the subway. Despite the cold, he savored the feel of Lincoln’s snow-chilled fingers wrapped in his own. They had fallen into a comfortable silence as a distant rumble warned of the metro’s impending arrival. The line of cars brought with them an icy chill that caused Lincoln to huddle unconsciously into Eli’s side.

  Lincoln eyed the Red Line thoughtfully. “I’m full of speculation.”

  “I’m afraid our next destination isn’t much warmer,” hinted Eli. “Should we postpone?”

  “No, I’m fine.” Lincoln smiled shyly. “Your hand is plenty warm.”

  The doors of the metro parted, and Eli led Lincoln to a pair of empty seats in the back, but not before they were spotted by a little girl no older than three.

  “Mommy,” the girl whispered, or rather attempted to whisper. “Why are those men holding hands?”

  The woman turned her head to smile at Eli and Lincoln before looking down at the child. “Because they love each other,” she said warmly. “Don’t you like to hold hands with people you love?”

  The little girl nodded enthusiastically and grasped her mother’s hand. “Especially when it’s cold outside.” The words were spoken with all the wisdom of a toddler.

  It was perhaps one of the sweetest encounters Eli had ever had, but still his heart thundered in mortification. The woman had mentioned love, and that was about as far from the truth as it could possibly be—at least for Lincoln. Eli risked a glance at his friend, trying to assess the severity of the situation.

  A lazy grin had spread across Lincoln’s face. He looked positively unshaken by the event. When he glanced up to meet Eli’s gaze, he murmured, “That’s the stuff I live for.” He sighed contentedly, rested his head on Eli’s shoulder, and closed his eyes. “Wake me up when we get to your surprise destination.”

  Eli exhaled in quiet relief, hoping that Lincoln couldn’t hear the nervous pounding of his heart. He was thankful for the remainder of their ride. He needed every last stop before he regained his composure. The brisk night air was also a welcomed relief.

  “Can I wager a guess?” asked Lincoln, peeking up at Eli as they strolled down a snow-lined sidewalk.

  “I’d be disappointed if you hadn’t figured it out by now.”

  “The zoo!” Lincoln bit his lip in hesitation. “But isn’t it closed?”

  “We’re not going for the animals.” Eli grinned. “We’re going for the Christmas lights.”

  As they rounded the corner, an artful display marked the entrance of the light exhibition. Luminescent pandas in shades of blue waved in delight as patrons wandered under a banner that read “Zoolights.” Trees wrapped in stringed lights of every color lined the path. The horizon glittered with promise, building anticipation in the guests and in Lincoln.

  “They’ve created a second zoo with all these lights.” Lincoln’s fingers squeezed Eli’s in excitement.

  Eli nodded. They had just passed a tropical display complete with palm trees and flamingos. In the distance a flamboyant peacock stood fanning green feathers underneath the tree of a large, purple monkey. The lights blinked in vertical motion to give the illusion that the monkey was climbing.

  The camera burned in Eli’s other pocket. He knew he should be positioning Lincoln in front of the best displays and documenting the trip, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go of Lincoln’s hand. There was no guarantee he would get it back. His guilt increased with every passing display, until finally they passed through a tunnel of stringed lights and emerged in front of a colorful, lighted fountain. The water danced elegantly, shooting into the air and flowing down a series of tiers. It was practically a display of its own. A few other patrons, mostly couples, had gathered around to admire it.

  Eli glanced down at Lincoln; his skin glowed an attractive pink in the artificial lighting. He wore a contented expression, clearly having again forgotten about the purpose of their trip.

  “Lincoln, would you like a picture here?” Eli gestured to the fountain.

  Lincoln hesitated, glancing at their joined hands, but then nodded.

  “Let me help you up,” Eli suggested, before Lincoln could pull from his grip. “Now hold your arms out.”

  Lincoln complied, and Eli snapped several pictures, capturing Lincoln’s silhouette bathed in a radiance of light. He flipped through the shots to ensure there were at least a few good ones before turning back to Lincoln.

  “I’ll help you down.” Eli extended his hand with the full intention of placing Lincoln’s back into his pocket.

  Just as Lincoln was about to take it, a young boy raced around the edge of the fountain and slammed into Lincoln, falling on his butt in surprised silence. Lincoln, set off balance, flailed precariously toward the frigid water with round eyes full of fear.

  Without time for rational thought, Eli lunged for Lincoln, narrowly managing to grab his hand. He yanked with all his might, tipping Lincoln’s balance in the other direction. They both fell to the ground in a heap, the collision of concrete to bone softened only by the padding of winter clothes and a thin layer of snow.

  “Ouch.” Lincoln groaned. H had landed on top of Eli and was far from soft himself.

  When Eli opened his eyes, Lincoln’s face was only a couple inches from his own.

  “Are you okay?” Eli murmured, bringing his hand to Lincoln’s cheek. He resisted the urge to siphon his fingers through Lincoln’s silky hair and glanced down at the lush curves of his lips.

  Lincoln gasped as he gazed into Eli’s eyes, his breath emerging in warm puffs that tickled Eli’s neck. “I don’t think anything is broken.” He reached up to cover Eli’s hand with his own. “What about you?”

  Before Eli could respond, the mother of the running child scurried forward and peered down at them in concern. “Oh my gosh! We are so sorry!” She pushed her child forward and gave him an expectant look.

  “Me too,” he mumbled, trying to resume position behind his mother’s leg.

  Lincoln smiled at the child and held out his hand. “Will you help me up?”

  Eli watched as the little boy glanced at his mother for reassurance before offering a small, gloved hand. Lincoln pulled dramatically before pushing himself off the ground. “Wow you’re so strong!”

  A big grin revealed a missing front tooth. “I’m fast too!”

  As Lincoln launched into an animated conversation with the boy, Eli turned to his mother.

  She smiled at the pair of new friends. “He’s good with children.”

  Eli nodded. “He’s a teacher.” And while that was true, it probably wasn’t the whole truth. Somehow, in the fast-paced world of quotas and bottom lines, Lincoln had managed to keep a child’s heart and an innocent sense of wonder. He worried more about the quality of his friendships than the quantity. Although Lincoln considered himself an introvert, he surely loved people and always saw them at their best. He made Eli want to be a better person, the best he could be. It was the reason he had fallen so helplessly in love.

  As the little boy clung to Lincoln’s hand, Eli realized that Lincoln had easily stirred the same feelings of admiration and affection in that child. No doubt he would do the same to his online suitors. There would be no shortage of men interested in Lincoln once they got to know him. Not only was he beautiful, he made the people around him feel beautiful too. It was a gift, one that Eli did not want to give to away.

  A cloud of distress swirled in Eli’s chest as he imagined falling in the ranking of Lincoln’s affection. He turned inward to sort through his emotions, but before he could fully dispel the unease, Lincoln appeared at his side.

  “Were you hurt after all?” He scrutinized Eli’s face, easily reading his unhappiness.

  “Oh no, I’m fine.” It was a lie accompanied by a smile that felt more like a grimace.

  “Fine enough to finish walking through the light show?” Lincoln slid his hand back into Eli’s and gave him a hopeful squeeze.

  Eli nodded, his words lodged heavy in his throat. Lincoln’s hand radiated all the comfort and warmth of home. It was everything Eli wanted but couldn’t have. Spending intimate time with Lincoln only to give him away would be like buckling himself into a roller coaster on a collision course. Still, Eli couldn’t withdraw his hand. His fate had been sealed a long time ago. Ever since Lincoln had hung his artwork on that damned gate.

  At least it would be one hell of a ride….

  Chapter Four

  “EXPLAIN THE difference between pewter and steel one more time.” Lincoln glanced at the two-sample color palette with an expression that said, in no uncertain terms, he saw absolutely no difference between the two.

  Eli was vastly amused. He had known Lincoln wouldn’t give one fig about the color of his dating profile, nor did he usually subject his clients to such similar options, but the more Eli involved Lincoln in the design process, the more time they would have to spend together—and time was turning into a precious commodity.

  In two weeks, it would be Christmas Day, but Lincoln wanted a boyfriend before Christmas, which left Eli with only one week before the profile went live. After that, Lincoln would be spending his time with someone new, someone who wasn’t Eli. The realization stirred a restless urgency in him.

  “The pewter is a shade lighter.” Eli stood at the stove, stirring a pot of mulled wine. Lincoln’s humble kitchen was filled with bold scents of cinnamon, orange, star anise, honey, and clove. It smelled like Christmas and home and family. Eli wished this was his permanent reality instead of a short transitional period leading to some unknown future without his best friend and favorite person.

  Lincoln held the paint chip to the light and squinted. “So it is,” he said with a lingering hint of skepticism.

  “I envision monochrome background and text with pops of color to highlight your name and pictures. Are you free to meet tomorrow to look at font options?” Eli peeked over his shoulder. He was fishing for another day—or three. “After that we’ll need to talk about photo editing options. There’s this technique where I can sketch animated clothes over the image and—What?”

  “Steel, Times New Roman, and yes to photo edits,” said Lincoln decisively.

  Eli cringed. “We’ll need at least two fonts. I was going to recommend something ornate for your name. The body text needs to be simple…. Maybe Helvetica, but certainly not Times New Roman.”

  “It sounds like you have it under control.” Lincoln came up behind Eli to glance into the pot. He rested his chin on Eli’s shoulder as he admired the mosaic of fruit and spices. “Is it almost done?”

  A jolt of pleasure quaked through Eli’s body as the warmth from Lincoln’s chest diffused into his back. He stifled a satisfied sigh, thinking the moment would be perfect if only Lincoln had wrapped his arms around his waist.

  “Here, try it.” Eli offered the ladle. He watched affectionately as Lincoln fished out a sip of the deep red liquid and brought it to his lips. If Lincoln’s delighted expression was any indication, the mulled wine was finished. Eli grabbed a strainer and two mugs and served the brew before following Lincoln across the narrow apartment to the couch.

  “We should turn this into a tradition,” said Lincoln happily.

  A tight, gloomy feeling washed over Eli. Next year things would be different. Even though Lincoln didn’t seem to realize it, he would likely want to spend time with his new boyfriend, especially during Christmas. Mulling wine for an intimate evening at home was something you did with your lover, not some college buddy who never managed to step out of the friend-zone. Despite Lincoln’s apparent obliviousness, Eli was sure he couldn’t hide his affection from a romantic rival—it was as obvious as the star atop the National Christmas Tree.

  “I doubt your boyfriend would like that,” said Eli, trying to hide the misery from his voice. “I’m sure he’ll want to spend the holidays alone with you.”

  Lincoln looked surprised, like he hadn’t given the notion much thought. “You think so?”

  As academically bright and quick-witted as Lincoln was, Eli had realized long ago that he was somewhat naïve. Lincoln marched to the beat of an unrhythmic drummer boy, who played fast when he should play slow and then ran out of energy when it was time for the drum solo. Therefore Eli was unsurprised that Lincoln had not considered the profound ramifications that a boyfriend would have on their close friendship.

  Eli smiled sadly and nodded. “Didn’t any of your ex-boyfriends get jealous?”

  Lincoln hid his expression behind a hardy sip of mulled wine and averted his eyes. “No,” he mumbled defensively.

  “You’re a bad liar,” Eli said with a laugh.

  “I’m not lying.” And he mumbled something about “no ex-boyfriends.”

  “Wait, what?” Eli looked up from his cup in shock. “But you’ve dated before.”

  Lincoln narrowed his eyes unhappily. “Dating is a strong word.”

  “Okay.” Eli needed to tread carefully here. “What I mean is, you’ve been romantically involved in some capacity with someone before.”

  “I haven’t.” Lincoln said defensively. “This will be my first time.”

  “You’ve never even been kissed?” Surely no one with Lincoln’s dashing good looks could possibly have ripened to the age of twenty-three without even the smallest peck.

  “I’m a nerdy introvert. Romance makes me sweat. Get off my back!”

  Eli stared with wide eyes and raised brows. His mouth had popped open and his mind had gone blank.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” said Lincoln, annoyed. “I’m already worried enough as it is.”

  “What are you worried about?” Eli was still too stunned to come up with something better to say.

  “That I won’t know what to do and I’ll make a fool out of myself.” Color heightened in Lincoln’s cheeks. “At this rate I’m going to grow old and die alone.”

  “You’ll never be alone,” said Eli meaningfully, realizing that Lincoln was embarrassed. “Don’t worry, romance is intuitive. I think it’s sweet you’ve waited this long, and your boyfriend will too.”

  “I don’t want to be sweet.” Lincoln frowned in annoyance. “I want to be….” He looked at Eli thoughtfully. “You’ve had relationships?”

  Eli shrugged. He felt like a petty thief standing before Judge Judy. Surely Lincoln wouldn’t ask for incriminating specifics about his past. Recounting bygone exploits to the man you loved was too much for anyone to handle.

  “Would you mind terribly—” Lincoln averted his eyes, his cheeks as red as cranberries. “—showing me how it’s done?”

  “How what’s done?” asked Eli dumbly.

  “Kissing.”

  Eli’s self-restraint shattered into a thousand pieces, like a fragile, antique ornament fallen from the highest branch of a Christmas tree. If someday the Ghost of Christmas Past came to yank Eli out of sleep, he wanted to defiantly gaze at this moment with not one ounce of regret. And no matter which way life twisted or turned, if Eli did not seize this moment, he would never be able to move forward. Time would stop, with his heart, right here.

  It didn’t matter that this would be a kiss without feeling. It was a kiss with Lincoln, and that’s all that truly mattered. I have enough feeling for both of us, thought Eli, setting aside his mug and then seizing Lincoln’s to do the same. When he turned back, Lincoln was inching nervously toward the end of the couch, but before he could escape, Eli intertwined their fingers and pinned Lincoln’s hand gently above his head. He delighted in Lincoln’s shy reaction and the deep green of his eyes that were so much like an evergreen forest reflected in a frozen pond. Lincoln’s free hand came to rest on Eli’s chest in halfhearted protest, his eyes falling downcast.

 

1 2 3 4 5