“I heard.”

  “Pancakes are my favorite. Well, after pizza. Do you like pancakes Amelia?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  Margo shifted around behind us, getting dressed. She grabbed Skyler’s hand. “How about you and I get started on breakfast while Lia gets dressed.”

  “Okay Mommy.”

  When they left the room, I pulled up my legs and dropped my forehead to my knees with a sigh. This was exactly what I didn’t want to happen. It would be hard enough to leave Skyler when I was done being her nanny. If we crossed over to a personal relationship, it was going to be even harder for both of us when Margo and I went our separate ways. I really liked the little girl, and I had no desire to hurt her.

  But the cat was out of the bag now. I might as well go have some pancakes with the Langley women. Like my little friend Skyler, pancakes were my favorite breakfast.

  Against both Margo and Skyler’s protests, I left right after breakfast. Skyler’s dad was picking her up at ten, and I’d had enough awkwardness for one day. I didn’t need to meet Margo’s ex-husband on top of everything else. I wanted to get home and do some laundry. Or sit on the couch and stare at mindless television shows while I pondered my night with Margo.

  I’d told myself that our vacation fling was just that, a fling. That it didn’t mean anything. Yet when I fell asleep wrapped around her last night, it definitely felt like more.

  The truth was, I was falling for her. Well, if I was being honest, I’d already fallen for her. I’d fallen for her way back when we were in Mexico, and my feelings had been growing ever since I’d started working for Margo, despite my best efforts. I’d tried hard to keep things professional, even while our daily conversations had slowly veered into other topics besides her daughter. Accepting Skyler’s invitation to stay for dinner was a huge tactical error.

  Fucking her mother? An even bigger error.

  Margo was ten years older than me. She had a fancy job that required her to wear designer outfits to work. She owned a house and had a kid. Meanwhile I was just starting my career, lived in a crappy one-bedroom apartment, drove a seventeen year old car, and picked up my clothes at thrift shops.

  We couldn’t be more different. And yet we seemed to fit. It wasn’t just sex – although that was incredible. We also had a lot in common. Things just seemed easy between us, almost like we’d been together forever. There was no pretense between us. Even with Skyler it almost felt like we were co-parents, not nanny and employer.

  I was so confused.

  After ignoring Margo’s multiple texts on Saturday, I went to Morning Jolt first thing Sunday morning. I’d picked up a relief shift and was working behind the counter with Hannah, the woman who’d gotten me the job.

  During a quiet time at the coffee shop, somehow the topic of Margo came up. I ended up spilling the whole story.

  “I don’t get it,” she said. “You had a great time with this woman in Mexico, and now you’ve found each other again like something out of a movie. You like her, you like her kid, and she likes you. What’s the problem?”

  “I dated a woman with a kid once,” I shared. “I was so in love with this girl. In retrospect I think I liked her more than I liked the mom. Then we broke up, and it was terrible. I’d spent two years being a second parent to this little girl, and then I was totally cut off from her with no warning. I wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye. It was heart-breaking.”

  “That’s sounds hard,” Hannah said sympathetically. “But that doesn’t mean it will happen again. Margo doesn’t seem like the vindictive type.”

  “I don’t want to take that chance,” I said firmly.

  “So you’re never going to date anyone with a kid?” she asked.

  “Nope.”

  “That’s too bad, because it sounds like this Margo chick really likes you.”

  “I’m sure she does, but how long will it last?”

  “Maybe you could have had something special with this woman, but you’ll never know if you’re too scared to try.”

  Margo

  “She’s ghosting me.”

  “She can’t really ghost you if she’s working for you,” my friend Alice pointed out. “Plus, you just saw her at breakfast yesterday morning. I’m not sure that qualifies as ghosting.”

  Alice was probably my best friend after my husband. We’d both come up through the ranks at Phoenix Software and we worked together closely. The two of us were one of a handful of our boss Madison’s most trusted advisors. And friends.

  “She hasn’t answered any of my texts since then,” I told Alice. “And when I call her, it goes right to voicemail.”

  “Maybe she needs some time to think. Or she was super busy.”

  “I just don’t understand what happened. We woke up, she hid under the bed, we had pancakes, and then she left like her hair was on fire.”

  “What? She was under the bed?” Alice asked. “What kind of kinky shit did you two get up to?”

  I laughed.

  “Lia heard Skyler coming into my bedroom and she hid under the bed so Skyler wouldn’t see her in my room buck naked,” I explained. “But then after I got rid of her, Skyler came back unexpectedly and caught Lia in there anyway.”

  “Oops. Did Skyler freak out?”

  “Not at all. Apparently my daughter had been ‘shipping’ us and was thrilled to hear we’d had a sleepover, even though I’m quite sure she doesn’t know what that means,” I explained. “She’d hang out with Lia twenty-four seven if she could. I’m pretty sure she likes Lia more than me.”

  “Did something happen over breakfast then that made Lia upset?”

  “No. I don’t think so. I mean, Skyler was there, so that was our focus. You know how she chatters on. But as soon as we’d finished eating, Lia rushed out.”

  I sighed deeply.

  “We had such a good night together on Friday, Alice. The perfect night. It was like we were a married couple, watching movies then having hot and heavy sex as soon as the kid was in bed.”

  “So Mexico wasn’t a fluke, huh?”

  “It was not,” I confirmed. “Things between us were…explosive. We both were completely satisfied. I don’t know what went wrong. Maybe she thinks I’m too old for her?”

  “How big is your age gap?” my friend asked.

  “Ten years.”

  “Ah, that’s nothing. Only a little bit more than me and Jewel.”

  Alice was in a long-term relationship with her best friend’s little sister, Jewel. There was a seven year age difference between them, which was funny because when you saw them together, it was clear that Jewel was the one in charge in their relationship. But despite the gap in their ages and their very different personalities, they’d been together for a few years now, and seemed very happy.

  “I’m in love with her. I knew it in Mexico, but I told myself I was being ridiculous, creating some kind of instalove fantasy. But now that I’ve spent more time with her, I know it’s not a fantasy. I love her.”

  “Wow, that’s big.”

  “What if she doesn’t feel the same?” I asked, my voice small.

  “Then you’ll survive. It’ll hurt, but it won’t kill you. But maybe she just needs some time. Or something else is bothering her. You’ll never know until you can talk.”

  I sighed deeply. “Unless she calls in sick or something, I’m going to talk to her tomorrow. Even if I have to tie her down to do it.”

  Unbidden, the image of Lia naked and tied to the bed came to my mind. If we got back together, we definitely needed to try that…

  The next morning I was up early, nervous about what was going on with Lia. I got ready for work and paced around restlessly, until even Skyler noticed.

  “What’s wrong, Mommy?” she asked. “Are you upset about something? Do you have a big meeting at work?”

  “I’m fine, sweetie,” I reassured her with a smile. “Why don’t you get your cereal? I’ll keep an eye out for Lia.”

  Lia showed up five minutes after I was supposed to leave for work. Given that she’d never been late before, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d come late on purpose to avoid talking to me.

  As she did every morning, she knocked on the door before letting herself in with her key. I was standing in the atrium waiting for her. My eyes traveled over her slim figure, taking in her baggy shorts and loose tee shirt. I wondered if she’d dressed to be as unprovocative as possible. If so, it was a useless effort. I already knew every curve of the slim body beneath the baggy clothes.

  “Hey,” I said, studying her face for some indication of what she was feeling.

  Her expression was carefully blank.

  “Good morning,” she said, avoiding my gaze. “Where’s Skyler?”

  “She’s in the kitchen, having breakfast.”

  “Okay, have a good day at work.”

  I’m not going to lie, her casual dismissal was like a knife to the heart. Lia started to walk away, and I grabbed her wrist, stopping her progress. I waited until she looked at me.

  “We need to talk.”

  “I don’t think we do.” Her voice was cool. Neutral. “Besides, you need to get to work.”

  “I do, but I want to talk tonight when I get home,” I said. “I know you want to pretend like Friday never happened, but it did, and we should talk about what it means.”

  “It doesn’t mean anything,” she snapped.

  “You and I both know that’s not true. Please, just give me a chance to talk to you tonight.”

  She pulled her hand away and headed towards the kitchen without a word.

  Amelia

  I felt like a shithead for how I’d treated Margo this morning. I knew I needed to suck it up and talk to her, but I just wasn’t sure what I would say.

  With supreme effort, I put Margo out of my mind so I could focus on Skyler. I had a job to do, and I wasn’t going to neglect my little ward just because I was conflicted about her mother.

  Conflicted wasn’t the right word though. The real problem was that I was hopelessly, irretrievably in love with Margo. Our night together had just cemented that. And I had no clue what to do about it. I could feel my anxiety increasing the closer it got to six o’clock, knowing that Margo would be home soon.

  “Mommy’s home!” Skyler announced happily when she heard the door open. She raced into the living room to give Margo a hug, me following behind her at a slower pace.

  “How’d it go today?” Margo asked us, as she did every day. Her words were calm, but I could tell from her face that she was nervous. That made two of us.

  “Great!” Skyler said enthusiastically. “We practiced doing cartwheels, and Amelia taught me how to add up sums that are three digits like one hundred forty plus two hundred and seven. It works just like when there’s two digits.”

  “Wow, that’s cool. Good job.”

  Margo rubbed her hair affectionately. “Hey Sky, how about you have thirty minutes of screen time now? Lia and I need to talk about some stuff.”

  “Yay!” Skyler turned on her heel and rushed towards the family room, then stopped. “Can Amelia stay for dinner? You could stay in my room this time, Amelia and do your sleepover with me.”

  “We’ll see,” Margo demurred. “Go pick out your show.”

  Once Skyler was gone, Margo inclined her head towards the kitchen. I followed her without argument. There was no sense putting it off anymore. Things would just get more and more awkward every day.

  Margo grabbed a bottle of beer from the refrigerator, offering one to me. I accepted the beer, sitting at the table. Margo sat across from me.

  “Did I do something wrong?” she asked, pain etched on her face. “I thought we had a good night on Friday.”

  “It was good, really good,” I conceded. “It’s just…I don’t think we should do that again.”

  “Why not?”

  When I didn’t answer right away, she continued, “We had such a great time in Mexico, but when I got home I convinced myself that I’d overinflated it. That I didn’t like you as much as I thought I did. But when we were together Friday I realized, what we have is real. At least it is for me.”

  I rubbed my hand on my chest, trying to soothe the aching.

  “I can’t have a relationship with you, Margo.”

  “May I ask why?”

  “You have a daughter.”

  “So? I thought you liked Skyler.”

  “I love her, that’s the problem.”

  She frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  “I dated a woman with a kid before. I was totally in love with that little girl, but then she was torn away from me,” I explained. “My ex wouldn’t even let me say goodbye. It broke my heart. Losing that kid was worse than losing my girlfriend. I heard from mutual friends that it was devastating for her, she didn’t understand why I’d abandoned her. She was so upset she started acting up in school.”

  I leaned forward, wrapping my hand around Margo’s on the table.

  “Don’t you see?” My tone was anguished. “If things don’t work out between us, I don’t just lose you, I lose Skyler. And the one who will be hurt the most is that little girl in there watching Encanto for the seven hundredth time.”

  Margo’s eyes filled with tears. “You don’t want to be with me because you’re afraid of hurting my daughter?” she asked. “I can’t decide if that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard, or the most ridiculous.”

  She put her other hand on top of mine, trapping my hand between hers, and gave me a little squeeze.

  “I’m in love with you,” she said. “Maybe it’s crazy, but I knew it in Mexico. It was confirmed for me the minute I saw you on my porch talking to my daughter. And it’s only grown over this last month. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lia. But if for some crazy reason it doesn’t work out, I promise I’ll give Skyler the option of still seeing you.”

  She paused. “Well, unless you commit a crime or something. I’m not going to let my little girl visit you in prison or rehab.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I just passed a background check for my teaching job. I’ve never committed a crime or done drugs in my life, not even marijuana. If that makes you feel any better.”

  She smirked. “It totally does.”

  We stared at each other for a long moment before I spoke, deciding to share what was in my heart, even though it was a huge risk.

  “I love you too, Margo.”

  Her eyes lit up. “You do?”

  “Yeah. I love you and Skyler both.”

  “That’s good, since we love you too. I speak with authority, since Skyler tells me about ten times a day how awesome you are.”

  Releasing my hand, Margo stood up and walked to my chair, grabbing the back to rotate it away from the table. Throwing her leg over mine, she straddled my lap, her inner thighs pressed tight against my outer thighs.

  Bringing her hands to my shoulders, she leaned in until I could feel her breath on my lips.

  “Will you stay over tonight?”

  I pretended to consider her invitation. “I don’t know, can you be quiet while I make you come your brains out?”

  “I can try.”

  “Will there be pancakes?”

  “Only on weekends.”

  “I don’t know then. The pancakes are kind of a deal breaker.”

  She leaned forward, her lips capturing mine, and kissed me deeply. I wrapped my hands around her ass, squeezing her cheeks as I pulled her closer. Our upper bodies pressed against each other as we poured all of our emotions into the kiss.

  Margo rubbed her breasts against mine, ramping up my excitement. We were so focused on our kiss that we didn’t hear Skyler come in until she squealed, “You’re kissing! Does this mean we’re having another sleepover?”

  Margo pulled away with a smirk. “Welcome to parenthood. Hope you don’t mind never having any privacy.”

  “I don’t need privacy if I’m with you,” I whispered.

  “And me!” Skyler added.

  Epilogue – Margo

  Eleven months later…

  “Yay, we’re done with school!”

  Skyler tossed her backpack on the floor, throwing up her hands in triumph. Lia walked in right behind her, dropping her briefcase next to Skyler’s bag.

  “Yay, we’re done with school!” Lia echoed.

  I’d left work early today to get Skyler ready to go to her father’s. My ex was taking her for a week to visit her grandparents in Colorado. Meanwhile, Lia and I were heading back to Mexico, visiting the same all-inclusive resort where we met about fifteen months ago.

  We hustled through gathering Skyler’s half-packed suitcase, doubled checked that she had all of her most important toys, and after a long goodbye, packed her up in the back of her father’s Subaru. I’d miss her of course, but I was also looking forward to spending an uninterrupted week of alone time with the woman I loved.

  I had a ring tucked away in my suitcase, and I couldn’t wait to make things official with Lia. More official, since she’d moved in with us at the end of last summer, as soon as her nanny gig was over.

  Things between us had been great, better than I could have hoped. Our lives had all meshed seamlessly and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t appreciate having another adult in the house to help with things like housework and entertaining Skyler.

  But mostly, I loved the closeness of having a companion, someone who loved me, and who let me love them back. Although the sex was nothing to shake a stick at either. We were still as insatiable as we’d been in Mexico.

  I closed the front door to find Lia staring at me, her hands behind her back. She looked nervous.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine what had happened in the three minutes I’d been outside saying goodbye to Skyler.

  She stepped closer. “Nothing, it’s just that…well…”

  Lia dropped to her knees, then drew her hands back in front of her, a dark blue ring box on her palm.

  “Margo, love, would you marry me?”

  I pressed my hand against my mouth, staring at the box in her hand, my eyes filling with tears.

  Apparently I stared too long, because after a few seconds, Lia started to look uncomfortable.

 

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