Sex Practice, page 27
"Ah, we agree on something, at least."
"Yes, we do! Goodbye!"
"Goodbye, Reverend Brother - and may your Devil go with you."
"I hope you burn in the eternal..."
Banging the phone down and walking to the window, Larry contemplated his next move. What was DI Clarke up to? he wondered, gazing at a young woman pushing a pram along the street. Christ, I'll bet she fucks something rotten. The reception bell resounding through the hall, Larry turned and left the room, wondering how many cunts were in the world at any one time. Talking of cunts, I must contact DI Clarke.
"Good morning, Molly," he greeted the petite blonde as he entered the foyer. "And how are you on this fine summer morning?" Juiced up and ripe for a fuck?
"Hi, Larry," the pretty girl smiled. "I'm all right."
"OK, let's not waste any time, Molly - to the examination room."
"I... I have a problem, Larry. I need to talk to you before we..."
"Oh, right. Er... come into my consulting room and we'll have a chat," he replied, walking down the hall.
Seating the girl at his desk, Larry scrutinized her ballooning white blouse, the profile of her long nipples clearly defined by the tight silk material. Her pretty mouth half open, as if about to speak, she offered a smile as she nervously twisted her long chestnut hair round her slender fingers. Wondering what her problem was, why she'd not dived into the examination room for her fortnightly vibrator-induced multiple orgasm - the cure for clitorus insensitivus syndrome - Larry returned her smile and reclined in his swivel chair.
"So, Molly, what's the problem?"
"I can't sleep at night," she confessed softly. "I lie awake thinking of penises."
And I lie awake thinking of juicy cunts. "I see. How long has this penile-induced insomnia been going on?"
"For several weeks now. I've always had a fixation, a fetish, I suppose, for penises. Since I first saw a boy's stiff penis behind the bike sheds at school, I've not been able to get the vivid pictures of male organs out of my mind."
"Where was this stiff penis, Molly?"
"I've told you, it was behind the bike sheds."
"What, lying on the ground, hanging on a rusty nail?"
"No, it was attached to the boy's body."
"Oh, yes, I see. For a minute, I thought you meant..."
"I really don't know what to do! At night, I close my eyes and see an image of a huge erect penis, and I can't get to sleep."
"So, there's one penis in particular?"
"There used to be several, but now there's just the one."
"Do you recognize the penis? I mean, are there any distinguishing marks to enable you to identify the owner of the organ in question?"
"Well, I suppose I like to imagine that I know who it belongs to. I... I can't tell you who I imagine it to belong to, it's too embarrassing."
"The man in question, you've never actually seen his penis?"
"No, I haven't seen it, I just imagine it to be his. It's magnificent! I lie in bed at night, the image of the wonderful organ clear in my mind - and I masturbate until the early hours."
"Yes, you do look a little tired."
"What can I do, Larry? I can't go on night after night like this!"
"Don't distress yourself, Molly. This is a rare condition known as erectus penisus maniacus. Roughly translated from old Lickuaniun, it means a maniacal craving for the erect penis. You'll be pleased to hear that there's a cure for this peculiar condition..."
"I want to be able to sleep at night but... well, I don't want the penis to go away. I mean, I'd miss it, wouldn't I?"
"Yes but, if we're to..."
"I know what the answer is. The man I imagine to be the owner of the penis, if he were in my bed with me, we'd make rampant love until I was sexually satisfied, sexually fulfilled - and then I could sleep."
"The man you imagine to be the owner of the penis, is he married?"
"No, he's not married."
"Is he aware of your feelings?"
"I haven't felt him! If I had, then..."
"No, what I meant was, is he aware of your feelings for him, your emotions?"
"Oh, I see. No, I can't bring myself to tell him."
"You must, Molly. You must tell him of your emotional torment without further delay."
"No, I can't. I wish I hadn't told you about the penis now."
Desperate to examine the girl's exquisite vagina, Larry sighed. The last thing he needed was a boring discussion about another man's penis! But Molly was obviously distressed, and the only way he'd get his fingers inside her hot, wet cunt was to play along with her, put her mind at rest. Racking his brain, he suddenly had an idea.
"Molly, I'm going to show you my penis," he smiled. "I want you to touch it and fondle it. The theory is that my penis will replace the imaginary penis."
"But I..." she began hesitantly as Larry leaped to his feet and whipped his erect organ out.
"There, what do you think of it?" he asked proudly as he stood before her, his huge weapon pointing skywards, only a foot away from her popping green eyes.
"It's... it's wonderful!" she gasped, reaching out and pulling his foreskin back. "Oh, it's so wonderful!"
"Molly, this psychological approach necessitates... how can I put it? Have you ever taken a penis into your third vagina?"
"My third vagina? Where's that?"
"It's your mouth."
"Oh! So, where's my second vagina?"
"Your bottom-hole."
"My bottom-hole? But, surely, my vagina is..."
"Not many people realize that females have three vaginal orifices, Molly. Think yourself lucky that I've imparted this little known fact to you. So, have you ever taken a penis into your third vagina, into your mouth?"
"Well, I..."
"The reason I'm asking you is because I believe you to be suffering from penile deficiency."
"No, I've never taken a penis into my mouth."
"Ah, I thought as much! What about your second vagina, your bottom-hole?"
"Certainly not!"
"It's so sad to see women blatantly neglecting their vaginal orifices. In fact, it's verging on criminal! You'll have to change your ways, Molly."
"Yes, I'll try."
"Right, I'm pleased to hear it. Now, penile deficiency is a condition usually only found in nunneries. The nuns, being chaste, suffer penile deficiency as a result of years of penis denial."
"I didn't know that!"
"Oh, yes! In monasteries, the monks suffer from vaginal deficiency due to years of vaginal denial. Mind you, unlike the nuns, they make up for it by replacing the vaginal sheath with each other's... yes, well, I won't go into the sordid details of the sexual behaviour of monks. I want you to take my penis into your mouth and suck it, Molly."
"Suck it?" she asked in surprise, examining his silky-smooth glans.
"Taking my penis into your third vagina, into your mouth, will have a beneficial subconscious effect. You see, sucking my penis and swallowing my sperm will re-educate your subconscious, it will bring about a deep-seated subconscious transformation."
"Oh, I see. But..."
"Trust me, Molly. And believe me, I'm not doing this for my benefit. I very rarely go to such lengths to serve my clients."
"It's very good of you to go out of your way to help me, Larry."
"There are times when going above and beyond my duty is deemed well within the line of duty, and this is such a time. Now, open your third vagina and suck my penis and swallow my sperm."
"All right, if you think it will do me good."
"I know it will do me good... I mean, do you good."
Watching the girl part her full red lips and take his knob into her hot mouth, Larry gasped, his penis twitching as she explored his glans with her wet tongue. Her lips stretched around his solid shaft as he projected his hips, driving his purple plum to the back of her throat, he hooked his heavy balls out of his trousers.
"Fondle my balls," he breathed, his warm scrotum pressing against her chin. "Ah, yes, that's it. Good girl. Run your tongue around the end of my penis, that's it! Ah, God! Think about what you're doing, Molly, think of my knob in your mouth, think about my sperm coming out, filling your beautiful third vaginal orifice!"
Sucking, rolling her tongue over his throbbing glans, Molly closed her eyes, concentrating on her act of oral sex, waiting in anticipation for his sperm to gush from his cockhead and fill her cheeks, desperate for her first taste of salty spunk. His body becoming rigid, his face grimacing as the beginnings of his orgasm stirred, Larry took the girl's head in his hands. She's not going to escape my spunk.
"Ah, here it comes, Molly!" he gasped as his sperm coursed up his penile shaft and jetted from his pulsating glans. "God, I'm coming!" His spunk bathing her sweeping tongue, filling her cheeks, her eyes bulged as she tried to pull away. "You must drink it all!" Larry breathed, driving his orgasming knob to the back of her throat. "You must swallow my spunk!"
Gripping her head and rocking his hips, Larry fucked the pretty girl's mouth, shooting his spunk down her throat until he'd drained his rolling balls. His shaft glistening with her saliva as he slipped his purple knob out of her sperm-drenched mouth, he stood trembling before her as she lapped up the droplets of white liquid from his slit.
"My God!" Monica cried as she entered the room and gazed in horror at the lewd scene. "I have never witnessed such a vile and debased act!"
"Monica!" Larry gasped, concealing his penis and hurriedly zipping his trousers.
"Good gracious! You're a dirty little slut, forcing the doctor to commit such a vile and degrading act! Get out of here!"
"No, Molly, don't go!" Larry cried as the girl fled the room with sperm running down her chin.
"Doctor, are you all right?" Monica asked concernedly.
"Of course I'm all right! What do you mean by...?"
"Oh, you poor man! I've met her type before, luring professional men to commit vile sexual acts. Fancy coming here and forcing you to commit such a depraved sexual act! Despicable, that's what she is!"
"But I thought... Monica, you usually blame me!"
"That's where I've been going wrong, Larry. I now realize these young hussies have been forcing themselves upon you, coercing you into committing degrading sexual acts."
"What? I don't understand."
"It's all right, Larry - I'm here to look after you now."
"But..."
"I'll make sure that these despicable hussies leave you alone. Right, I'll go and man reception. Are you sure you're all right after your horrendous experience? It must have been a terrifying ordeal!"
"Yes, yes I'm fine."
"Good, let's hope nothing like that ever happens again! I'll be in reception."
Shaking his head in disbelief as the woman left the room, Larry frowned. "What sort of trick is this?" he breathed. Whatever her game was, he had no idea. All he could think was that she was pretending to be on his side, only to expose him when she'd gathered enough evidence of his debauchery to nail him once and for all. Realizing that he should tell her to go, that she'd be nothing but trouble, he decided to have a lengthy chat with her later and discover exactly what she'd done about revealing his whereabouts to the debt collectors and the girls' fathers.
Ringing the police station, Larry asked to be put through to DI Clarke, praying that Brigit and her alluring pussy had done the trick. If the detective was still hell-bent on persisting with his investigations, Larry decided he'd take a leaf out of Monica's book. Side with the detective, he mused. Feed him false information concerning Mother Barren-Womb and her convent.
"DI Clarke," the sleuth finally replied.
"Inspector, it's Doctor Lickman."
"Ah, Doctor Lickman, you've been conspicuous by your absence of late."
"Yes, I... I had a few days off."
"I see. Well, I'd better fill you in on the latest allegations made against you."
"Allegations, Inspector?"
"Cannabis."
"No, I'm sorry, I haven't got any."
"I do not wish to purchase..."
"I know a man who..."
"Do you, now? Give me his name and address."
"No, I meant, I know a man who... well, I know a man, that's all."
"Doctor Lickman, Mother Barren-Womb alleges that you planted a quantity of cannabis in her study."
"I haven't planted cannabis in her study! You'd need a greenhouse to plant it in, not a study - and it's the wrong time of the year. The spring is the best time to..."
"Planted as in placed, Doctor - not sown!"
"Placed? Why would I place cannabis in her study?"
"Why indeed? The convent..."
"Talking of the convent, has the missing nun been found yet, Inspector?"
"No, she's still at large."
"From what I remember of her, she was slim, petite and..."
"At large as in on the loose! Are you always so difficult to converse with?"
"When in oral communication, I must say that my conversation is completely converse to your allegation."
"What?"
"Opposite, Inspector. My conversational skills do not prove to be difficult, they are converse to your statement stating that I have difficulty conversing."
"What are you... can we please move on, Doctor? Let's discuss the convent girl's knickers I have in my possession."
"Oh, yes, let's!"
"There was no netball match. The girl, Jenny Faggot, was not in the netball team, is not in the netball team, and has no chance of joining the netball team."
"Then, why did she change into her netball kit, Inspector? The cream thickens... I mean the slot... the plot..."
"She didn't change into her netball kit because she has no netball kit, and she cannot play netball and does not even attempt to play netball."
"She can't play netball?"
"No, she can't. She doesn't own a netball skirt, a netball top, netball socks or netball knickers."
"Are you saying that she left my establishment knickerless?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."
"Good grief! I really can't believe that I've actually had a knickerless schoolgirl in my long established establishment!"
"You'd better believe it because I can tell you that the judge will!"
"The judge? Was there a knickerless judge in my establishment?"
"Please, Doctor Lickman! Now, you say that you found the girl's knickers on the floor?"
"Yes, that's right - in the hallway."
"I put it to you, Doctor, that you removed the girl's knickers. Now, come on, let's be having the truth."
"Yes, I did remove them."
"Ah, so you confess to removing the aforementioned knickers?"
"I can't deny it, Inspector."
"Are you prepared to sign a sworn statement to that effect?"
"Yes, of course. I removed the girl's knickers from the hall floor."
"What?"
"I removed the girls' knickers from the..."
"Yes, yes I heard what you said."
"Then why..."
"I can see that this conversation is leading nowhere. I'd better come and see you, Doctor. By the time we've finished our conversation, your phone bill will have run into thousands of pounds!"
"Oh, right. Well, I'll look forward to your visit."
"Good day, Doctor."
"Yes, I'm hoping it will be. Goodbye, Inspector."
Replacing the receiver, Larry rubbed his chin. DI Clarke obviously had no intention of abandoning his enquiries into Larry's escapades. There was only one thing for it, he reflected. Brigit would have to open her pretty pussy again. Walking to reception, he decided to feed Monica some false information to discover whether or not it found its way back to the prying detective. They were probably in it together.
"Ah, Monica," he smiled as he approached the counter. "Jenny Faggot is on her way to see me. I'm going to examine her, an internal examination of a vaginal nature, so will you make sure that I'm not disturbed when I'm locked in the examination room with her?"
"Locked in the... yes, of course."
"Thank you. The last thing I need is someone hammering on the door trying to find out what I'm up to!" he chuckled.
"Er... yes, right. Oh, by the way, talking of being locked in, Lily has locked herself in the toilet and she won't come out."
"Yes, I know. Leave her in there, it's the best place for her while she's encountering one of her toilet-induced mental traumas."
"Yes, of course."
"Jenny Faggot will be here any minute now. Er... would you pop across the road and get me some stamps from the post office, please? Take the money from petty cash."
"Oh, er... what, now?"
"Yes, please. I'll cover reception while you're gone."
"Yes, of course. You say that Jenny will be here any minute?"
"Yes, that's right. Oh, by the way, keep this to yourself, Monica. I'd rather Mother Barren-Womb didn't know about the girl's visit - or DI Clarke, come to that."
"Yes, I see. I missed working here, it's so good to be back, Larry."
"And it's good to have you back, Monica."
Grinning as the woman took some change from the petty cash box, Larry watched her leave the building, his plan formulating perfectly. "Lily!" he yelled, dashing to the toilets. "Lily, quickly, I need your help!"
"I'm not coming out!"
"You'll come out this instant or I'll kick the door down and thrash your vaginal lips with the cane!"
"Shan't!"
"Lily, I'm warning you. Come out now, or I'll have my entire army of revolutionaries queue up to fuck your arse."
"Shan't!"
"Unless you open the door, I'll tie you to the examination couch and have ten women rub their nipples all over your naked body."
"Shan't!"
"And ten men wank and splatter their spunk all over your face."
"What do you want?" she asked, sliding the bolt back and emerging from the cubical.
"Come to the examination room and I'll tell you. I've just devised a plan so devious, so shrewd, so cunning, that I have to say I'm a bloody mastermind. Come on, Monica will be back any minute."
Locking the door as he entered the bondage room with the morose girl, Larry smiled. "OK, when I tell you, I want you to make whimpering noises, sexual noises, orgasmic noises."
