Safe Passage, page 14
part #1 of Black Flag Series
“On what?”
“On what you’re doing.”
She smiled. “You know, the Black Flag could always use another hand.”
“Could it? I thought you prided yourself on your lean crew?” I teased.
“I’ve been rethinking my stance.”
I trailed my fingers across the back of her hand. “That sounds good to me, Mags.”
“Good.”
It was now that a youngish man in a waitstaff jacket approached our table. “Maggie?”
She glanced up, and then beamed. “Kev.” She was on her feet the next instant, wrapping him in a hug. “I was wondering where you were.”
“My shift just started,” he said.
She turned to me. “Kay, this is Kev – Kevin Lang. I served with his brother Richard.” Then, she turned back to him. “Kev, this is Kay Ellis, my – my girlfriend.”
She’d hesitated to say the word, glancing back at me as if to make certain she wasn’t overstepping. Far from eliciting any negative reaction on my part, though, my heart soared at the word. I smiled at her and offered him a hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Kevin.”
“Likewise, Kay. Any friend of Maggie’s is a friend of mine.”
“How are you doing these days, Kev? How’s the missus?”
He grinned. “Six months pregnant, so it varies from minute to minute. But we’re hanging in. Surviving on chocolate and – believe it or not – pickles.”
Maggie laughed. “Another one? Jesus. Poor Stacie. She was pregnant last time I saw you guys too.”
“That was two years ago,” he laughed.
“Fair enough. So this’ll be your second, right?”
“That’s right.”
“Congrats.”
“Thanks. Oh, and I told Richard you were heading here. He said to say ‘hi.’”
“How’s he hanging in?” she asked, and this time her tone was less jovial.
Kevin’s expression, too, lost some of the beaming qualities it’d had a moment ago. “You know: it’s tough. But he’ll make it. He’s a fighter.”
Maggie’s jaw tightened, and she nodded. “That he is.”
For a moment, they were silent. I had no idea what they were talking about, beyond the general impression that some calamity had befallen this man I didn’t know. But what, I couldn’t guess. So I was quiet too.
“Tell him I said ‘hi’ too,” she said.
“I will.”
“And tell him I’m sorry about Bert.”
“I will.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “I know I’m usually galaxies away, but if he ever needs anything, I’ll do what I can.”
Kevin smiled. “Thanks Mags. That’ll mean a lot to him.” Then, he glanced at me. “Sorry, Kay. Didn’t mean to interrupt your date.”
“No,” I protested, “it’s fine.”
“I need to get back to work anyway, before I hear it from the old fish in back. But it was great seeing you again Mags. And great meeting you, Kay.”
“Thanks, Kevin. Good to meet you too.”
“Hey, I’m here for two days. Maybe I can take you and Stacie out? We can catch up?”
“Sounds good – but it’ll be our treat. No, I insist.”
And with that, he took his leave.
“Who is Bert?” I asked, once he’d gone.
“Richard’s husband.”
“Ah. What happened to him?”
“He died.”
Despite the brevity of her answer, her tone conveyed a depth of emotion. “Did you know him?” I asked gently. “Were you friends?”
“Not well. We got along, but he and Dick met after I got out of the service. But…” She shook her head. “I never saw Richard so crazy about a person. Or so happy.”
“Ah.” I nodded. “How’d he die?”
“Belarian flu. He woke up with a slight fever, and twenty-four hours later…” She spread her hands. “He was dead.”
“God,” I said. “That’s awful.”
“Yeah. To be honest, I don’t know what Dick’s going to do.” She glanced up at me. “It was so unexpected. He’s been in shock, but…” She reached for her glass of wine, toying with the stem. “The truth is, Kay, my heart has stopped every time I get a communique from one of our old squad since. I keep thinking, what if…” She broke off, draining her wine glass.
“You think he’d hurt himself?” I asked.
“I think the only reason he hasn’t yet is because he feels he’d be letting Bert down. And I don’t know what I can do to help. I don’t know if there’s anything anyone can do to help.”
I took her hand. “Oh Mags. Maybe you should visit him.”
She shook her head. “I did. Right after. He didn’t want to see people.”
“How long ago was that?”
“About five months.”
“Five months is a long time.”
“Not when you’re talking about…well, this kind of thing, Kay.”
“Still,” I said. “It wouldn’t hurt to try, would it? Let him know he’s got a friend thinking about him?”
She considered. “Maybe not.”
We sat there for a moment, her hand in mine on the table, a pensive look on her face. Then, she sighed. “Sorry, babe. I don’t mean to be such a downer.”
I squeezed her hand. “You’re not.”
“I’m sitting in one of the best restaurants on the planet, with the most beautiful woman on the planet holding my hand.” She smiled at me. “What the hell do I have to be moping about?”
She picked up the thread of a previous topic that we’d somehow dropped to chase some tangent earlier in the night. It was done at first with an effort but grew more natural as she kept at it. She was telling me how she’d acquired the Black Flag. “So, obviously, that didn’t work out. The thing was a piece of crap. I was just about ready to hang it up when I see a posting for a freighter. The price seemed too good. I figured it was another hunk of scrap.”
From the periphery of my view, I saw a figure approaching our table. It was Kevin again, and he wasn’t coming empty-handed. “Hey, not to interrupt. Just wanted to give you this.” He smiled. “West Corthian Red. On the house.”
She grinned. “You know me well, Kev.”
He nodded, dispensing a glass for each of us.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You bet.” Then, to Maggie, he added, “Oh, and Mags? I heard about Irene. I wanted to say – I’m really sorry.”
Her face fell, but she said, “Thanks, Kev.”
He nodded. “Of course. Well, I should go.”
She was silent after he left, but her eyes spoke volumes. I knew, instinctively, that Irene had been someone dear to her; had been, or was. The fact was – as I was quickly learning – for all I felt for Maggie, I didn’t know much about her. I knew enough to have a picture of her character. I was pretty confident in it. But beyond that?
I didn’t know her story. I knew very little about her past or her family, and next to nothing about her friends and lovers.
“Who is Irene?” I asked.
She glanced up at my voice. “Irene?”
I nodded.
“She is – was – my wife.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“Your wife?” She could have, as the saying goes, knocked me over with a feather at that. We hadn’t got to the point of sharing past mistakes, but I’d guessed, of course, that she’d had serious girlfriends before me. But a wife? That seemed like something she could have told me. “You were married?”
“For about two months.”
“Oh.”
She shook her head. “I was in love, she was…not as in love as she thought.” She smiled. “Honeymoon to divorce court inside three months: that’s got to be a record, right?”
That, I guess, explained why she didn’t have any pictures around, and had never mentioned her. “Is that what he was talking about? The divorce?”
“Oh, no. That happened a long time ago. Before I got the Black Flag.”
“Then what?”
Maggie’s brow creased, and she lifted the wine to her lips. After a sip, she said, “Her ship got hit, about a year and a half ago. By pirates.” She glanced up at me, and added, “Real pirates, I mean. Not privateers.”
“Oh Maggie,” I said. “I’m so sorry.” I remembered, now, all the times I’d called her a pirate, and how adamant she’d been that she was no such thing. My words must have been salt to her wounds.
She shrugged. “It’s the life, Kay. It’s the risk we all take.” She took another long sip of her drink. “It happens to us all, sooner or later.”
“Oh Mags,” I said, stretching out my hand to take hers again. I might not know her history, but I knew her well enough to tell when she was lying. She was lying when she pretended it didn’t bother her. I’d seen it in her face the moment the name Irene had been dropped.
She forced a smile and sat up straight, pulling her hand out of mine to return to her fork. “Well, we shouldn’t let this get cold.”
For a space, we ate in silence. “You were telling me about the Black Flag,” I said after a while. “How you got it.”
“Oh, yes.” She finished the story, but briefly and without much interest. Now and again, she’d comment on the food or the drink. “Nothing like the Corthian Reds.”
“Now that’s a texture.”
“What do you think of that, eh, Kay?”
But she’d lost her spark. She was going through the motions, but her mind was elsewhere – far, far away from me.
When dinner wrapped up, she paid absently, and we stepped onto the station street. “Mags,” I said, “are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yes.”
I put an arm around her, and she stiffened. “You sure?”
She nodded. “Kay, I was thinking, I don’t want to head back just yet.”
I couldn’t say I was surprised by the statement. Still, it took the wind out of my sails a bit. “Okay.”
“I want to get a drink first. I think I need something stronger than wine.”
I nodded. “Alright.”
“There’s a club, not far from here. We could stop for a sunrise or two before heading back.”
We did. It was a nice enough place, with a large dance floor, a king-sized bar, and plenty of tables. Even so, we still had trouble finding a table. Maggie ordered Keldian sunrises for both of us, and stared absently at the dance floor.
“You want to dance?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No.”
I sighed, taking a sip of my drink. “Dammit it, Mags. Aren’t you at least going to tell me about her?”
She blinked. “What? Who?”
“Irene.” Ever since the mention of her ex-wife, Maggie had been distant. It didn’t take much to figure out where her thoughts were now.
“Irene?” She laughed hollowly, glancing down at her glass. “She’s dead. What’s there to tell?”
“I don’t know, Mags. Do you still love her?”
Her eyes darted up to mine. “What?”
I felt my heart sink. “Oh. You do.”
She shook her head. “No, Kay. It’s not that.” She took a long drink. “I did love her. For a long time. I don’t anymore. Haven’t for a while. It’s not even Irene; not directly, anyway.”
“Then what is it, Maggie? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, because I know that’s bullshit.”
She held my gaze and then smiled again, a bittersweet kind of smile. “I was just thinking of the life, Kay. You know?”
“I don’t,” I said. “Tell me.”
“Irene was one of the toughest people I know. Damned fine captain, good ship, good crew under her command. Never thought I’d get the call that she was dead.” She shook her head. “But I did. I was still listed as her next of kin, from back when we were married.”
“That must have been awful.”
There was a mist forming in her eyes, but she blinked it back aggressively. “It’s the life, Kay. There are no guarantees.”
“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck when something like that happens.”
She reached across the table, brushing my cheek with her fingers. “Oh Kay.”
“Maggie,” I said, turning my lips to her hand.
She leaned over now, pulling my face to hers and kissing me with a fire that made me glad we were in the back, and the room was as dark as it was. Not that I minded, of course. I kissed her back, tasting the Keldian sunrise on her lips, savoring the urgency in her hands as they drew me to her, wishing not for the first time that we were back in our rooms.
She sat back a moment later, and drained her sunrise. She flagged a waiter. “Another Keldian sunrise. How about you, you need anything?”
I shook my head. I’d barely touched mine so far.
“Very good,” the waiter said, “Coming right up.”
“You sure you don’t want to dance?” I wondered.
She smiled but said nothing, turning to watch the crowd. I watched her. She was beautiful, so beautiful; and sad.
Her drink came, and she drained it in two mouthfuls. “Careful, Mags,” I cautioned. “You’re going to be sick.”
She turned to me suddenly. “This was a mistake, Kay.”
I blinked. “What was?”
“Tonight. Me and you. I’m sorry.”
“Maggie…what are you saying?” I was stunned.
“This life, Kay, it’s not your life. It’s dangerous, it’s deadly. It almost got you once already.” She shook her head. “And I’m done burying people. I promised myself that.”
“That…that was a fluke, Mags.”
She stood. “I’m sorry, Kay. But – once this mission’s over – I think it’d be best for both of us if we went our separate ways.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Maggie had paid our tab and called me a cab. “I’m not heading back anytime soon,” she told me. She disappeared into the crowded bar as I sat, stunned, at our table.
I drained my Keldian sunrise and then studied the glass. My mind was a whirl of competing emotions. I was angry and humiliated. But mostly, I was hurt and shocked.
The waiter stopped by again. “Is your friend gone?”
“Apparently so.”
“Ah. Would you like anything else?”
“Another sunrise. Double shot.” The cab driver would have to find his fare elsewhere. I was way too sober to deal with how quickly my life had just crashed and burned.
“Coming right up.”
I drank my way through the sunrise, and then another. Now and again, I’d catch sight of Maggie. She was mingling with the other clubgoers, laughing and drinking as if she hadn’t a care in the world.
As if she hadn’t just dumped me half an hour ago.
By time I’d finished my fourth sunrise, she was on the dance floor, wrapping herself around a pretty blonde. Kissing her with the same energy she’d kissed me.
I thought I was going to be sick. I felt it prudent to self-medicate with another double shot Keldian.
I called a cab soon after. I had put enough liquor in me to quiet most of my thoughts. My mind was more compliant than my body, though. It would not be so easily quieted.
I’d had been craving Maggie since she’d first held my hand, since she’d first kissed me on the shuttle. It didn’t matter that she’d dumped me. I still yearned to be touched, to be loved.
It had occurred to me, my mind slowly succumbing to the drinks, that Frank would be back by now. Even his appetite for food would be sated by now.
He’d given up on it since I was dating Maggie, but I had, I knew, awoken a different kind of appetite in him. I wondered if it was too late to rekindle it.
Consequently, when I reached the hotel, I set my steps for his room, not mine, and knocked.
Frank opened the door, and his eyes widened to see me. “Kay? What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?”
“Uh…sure.” He stood aside to let me enter.
I waited only until he’d turned, and then pressed into his arms. He’d been surprised to see me before, but this stunned him. “Kay, what are you doing?”
I wrapped my arms around his neck, whispering, “What does it look like?” I stood on tiptoes, pressing my body into his. I could feel him tense with desire, and I smiled. “Kiss me, Frank.”
“Kiss you?” He frowned. “What about Maggie?”
“What about Maggie?” I took one of my hands from his neck to run it down his torso. He felt, under the fabric, every bit as good as I’d imagined he would. I wanted to know how he felt without that barrier between us. I wanted him to want me to explore without that barrier.
“Kay,” he repeated, and his tone was low, “what are you doing?”
“That depends.” I pressed harder into him. “What do you want me to do?”
He groaned. “God, Kay, don’t do this.”
“Why?” I pulled his arms to me, and he didn’t protest. I felt his fingers press into my back, and he leaned toward me.
I squeezed my arms around him. His lips moved for me, bypassing my mouth and heading for my neck. He started below my ear, kissing lower as he went. “Oh Frank.”
He reached the nape of my neck, and I gasped as he traced the tips of his teeth over my skin. I wanted him almost as much as I’d wanted Maggie the day before; almost as much as I’d wanted her tonight. Only he was here, and she was…wherever she was, with whoever she was with.
“Take me, Frank.”
He brought his lips back to my ear, kissing me as he went. And when he spoke, I shivered at the feel of his breath against me. “You know I can’t do that, Kay.”
“What?”
“You’re drunk.”
“I’m not.”
He nuzzled against me. “You are. And however much I want you, I can’t have you.”
“Frank,” I begged. “Please. I need you.”
He kissed me once again, this time on the cheek, and then he pulled away and held me at arm’s length. “Then tell me when you’re sober, and I’m yours.” He smiled and shook his head. “But we both know that’s not true, Kay. It’s not me you want. It’s Maggie.”
“She doesn’t want me,” I said, and the words stung to hear out loud.
He seemed confused. “Doesn’t want you? Kay, she’s nuts about you.”
