When she started lathering her coconutty-lemon lotion on her tanned skin, leaning over her bent knee to skim her hands over her shapely calf, his self-control threatened to dissolve.

  “Um, I’ll go get the coffee started,” he mumbled. Spinning on his barefoot heel, he made like a speed-demon and hightailed it out of her room.

  “You only have to turn on the Keurig!” he heard her call.

  But he wasn’t stopping. Not with temptation crooking its wicked finger at him.

  Halfway down the hall his phone vibrated in his back pocket. He pulled it out to catch a text message from Lourdes illuminated on the screen. His footsteps slowed as he read it.

  Call me. We need to talk.

  In the past, a cryptic message like this typically meant bad news. A problem. He didn’t want that invading this private space with Lilí. Not yet anyway.

  He hesitated, torn between responding or leaving well enough alone for now.

  “Fried or scrambled?”

  Lilí’s question startled him. He spun to look back over his shoulder at her, quickly sliding his cell in his pocket. He’d get back to Lourdes when he left here.

  “Um, either’s fine,” he answered. Guilt over ignoring his sister’s message warred with this new desire to lose himself in Lilí and the good she represented.

  “Scrambled it is then.”

  She shimmied past him in the hallway, looking all perky in a cream sundress with skinny straps, orange and yellow circles dotting the material. A thin tan belt cinched her waist, matching the tan sandals on her feet. Even her pink-tipped toenails gave off a positive vibe.

  The satisfied grin on her full lips that dared him not to smile back and the wispy bangs framing the impish twinkle in her eyes were like the icing on top of the Lilí Fernandez cupcake he craved.

  Needing a taste of her, he linked his fingers with hers, tugging her gently back toward him. She arched a brow in question, but willingly stepped into his arms.

  “Is there something you wanted?” she said, a playful note in her voice.

  Her smile broadened. For him. Because of him.

  Releasing her fingers, he draped his arms around her lower back. Lilí leaned into him, her hands gently resting on his shoulders near the curve of his neck.

  “I had a great time last night,” he told her.

  “Me too.”

  “Not only here, with you.” Instinctively his arms tightened, drawing her hips closer to his. He liked how comfortably she fit in his arms. How right it felt. “Though that was pretty amazing.”

  She grinned. “Yeah, I was pretty amazing, wasn’t I?”

  He chuckled. Man, he loved her cheekiness.

  Love? His choice of word surprised him. Had he said it out loud, he would have laughed it off as an expression. Privately, he couldn’t ignore the depth of emotion tightening his chest. An emotion that both scared and emboldened him.

  “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you?” he teased, backing her up against the wall. Desire flared in her eyes.

  “Oh, I didn’t hear you complaining, wise guy.”

  No, and she wouldn’t.

  Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he took a deep breath, her intoxicating scent filling his lungs. Her deft hands caressed his shoulders, sliding around to knead the muscles along his upper back. His blood heated, and that quickly there was no doubt as to where his body wanted this bit of foreplay to lead.

  And yet, while he craved physical intimacy with her, there was so much more that drew him to Lilí than her body. As luscious as it was.

  He pressed a wet kiss on the area below her ear, his arousal growing at the tiny shiver he felt her give. It’d be so easy to scoop her up and take her back to bed. She’d willingly go. He’d willingly join her.

  Instead, Diego eased back. He pressed his forehead against hers, a little puff of her minty breath caressing his lips.

  “You’re right, no complaints from me,” he admitted.

  Her grin widened.

  “But I also meant, dinner with your family. I really enjoyed meeting everyone, sharing your father’s music with them.”

  “Hearing Papi’s music again.” Her lids fluttered closed. Her chest rose and fell on a soft sigh before she met his gaze again, warmth brimming in her expression. “That was an unbelievable gift. You gave my family something we haven’t had in a long time.”

  An embarrassed flush crept up his cheeks at her sincerity. “I, bueno, I felt the need to say thanks for letting me join you.”

  Lilí pushed his chest playfully. “That was Yazmine’s doing, not mine.”

  “But I would have left if you had asked me to.” The playfulness drained from Lilí’s face, replaced by a tenderness he hadn’t seen before. She cupped his cheek, her palm soft, gentle. “I know. That respect, that soft side you have, is part of why we’re here right now.”

  “Soft side?” He balked.

  Her playful grin materialized again. “Oh, you might think you hide it, but I know it’s in there.”

  She patted his chest, then rose up on her toes to brush her lips against his. “Come on, I’m getting hungry. One thing you should know, and my sisters have taken great joy in relaying this to my boyfr—to everyone: If I’m not fed regularly, I can get a mean, hangry attitude.”

  With a playful wink, she trounced down the hall, leaving him wondering about her slip of the tongue. Had she nearly said her “boyfriend”?

  Actually, he liked the sound of that. A lot.

  In the kitchen, Lilí tugged open the fridge, then pulled out a carton of eggs. Just as he opened his mouth to ask what she’d like him to do, the vibrating in his pocket picked up again. This time it continued, indicating an incoming call.

  For a couple seconds he ignored it and allowed himself to enjoy watching Lilí going about her business. Carefree, humming some tune as she put together the ingredients for their breakfast. The first of what he’d like to be many, if he could get his personal life squared away.

  The vibrating stopped. Then started up again.

  A sliver of unease weaseled its way into what, until now, had been the perfect morning-after. He dug out his phone to see Lourdes’s name flashing at him. Disappointment had him squeezing his cell in his a fist. A call this early from her rarely meant good news.

  History told him this was not a conversation, more than likely an argument, he wanted to have while standing in Lilí’s living room, the brightness of her chipper attitude rivaling the sunlight streaming in from the wall of windows along the right side of her condo.

  “I’ve gotta . . . I should take this,” he mumbled.

  “Hmm?” She glanced up, her hand poised to crack an egg on a blue ceramic bowl. “Oh, sure, feel free. I’ve got this covered.”

  Sliding his thumb across the screen to connect the call, Diego strode toward the balcony’s sliding glass doors. “Hola, Lourdes, qué pasa?”

  “Hi, little brother. I’m good. Or . . . I will be.”

  The pause in her voice made the back of his neck prickle with unease. He recognized that conciliatory tone. Something was up.

  Disappointment blew through him like a dog-days-of-summer heated breeze.

  Sensing Lili’s gaze on him, he reached for the metal door handle, tilting his head toward the balcony to indicate his intent. She waved him on.

  Outside, the cool morning air and far-off sound of traffic rumbling through the city streets greeted him. He slid the door closed behind him, leaving Lilí, and any thoughts of how he could make it work between them, inside her condo.

  “Me oíste?” Lourdes asked.

  “No, I didn’t hear you. You were cutting out,” he answered, when he realized his sister had kept talking.

  “I said I have to take a rain check on lunch today.” His disappointment morphed into anger, pushing his tone to the edge of civil. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothin’.”

  “You better be straight with me.”

  “I got some stuff to take care of,” she whined, “that’s all. Cálmate.”

  Calm down? Right. When it came to her, remaining calm was impossible.

  “What stuff?” he pressed.

  “I’m not doin’ anything wrong.”

  “I didn’t say you were.”

  “Pero lo estás pensando. I know it,” she accused him.

  “You’re always thinking the worst.”

  Diego clamped his lips together, forcing himself to simmer down. This was not an argument he intended to have with Lourdes while Lilí was nearby, milling about her kitchen.

  “Don’t do this,” he begged his sister. “Not now. Is something going on at Patricia’s?”

  “I got it under control.”

  “What’s the problem? Are you using again?”

  The accusation slipped out before he could stop it. The question was guaranteed to make his sister blow—

  “Enough with the twenty questions already!” she demanded. “Back off!”

  Diego smacked his hand on the metal balcony railing in exasperation, the force reverberating up his arm.

  Part of him wanted to say to hell with it. Wish his sister good luck and wipe his hands of the mess she inevitably created. But that’s not how familia worked. His mamá’s voice rang in his head, reminding him that familia had your back. Stuck together through whatever crap life threw your way.

  As a young soldier, he’d promised her he’d return home, college money practically in hand, ready to earn a degree and get a decent job to provide for their familia. He owed it to his mom to do that.

  “Lourdes, no games here, okay? Are you in trouble?”

  “No.”

  Despite her moody gruffness, relief loosened the tension seizing his chest.

  “Not yet.”

  That quickly, anxiety snatched him back in its clutches.

  “But I’m handling it,” Lourdes assured him. Too bad he wasn’t convinced. “I just gotta cancel lunch and take care of something. I’ll be in touch.”

  “Wait!” Worry that she might go off the grid and he’d lose contact with her again had him crying out in fear.

  A beat passed and he pulled the cell away so he could glance at the screen, make sure she hadn’t already disconnected.

  “What?” Her voice already sounded far away. He was losing her.

  “Déjame ayudarte,” he pleaded. When she didn’t answer, he repeated his entreaty. “Please, let me help you.”

  “The fact that you want to, despite everything that’s gone down before . . .” She spoke softly, making him strain to hear her words. “It means a lot to me, hermanito.”

  “I’m not your little brother anymore, unable to get you the right resources. You know that.”

  “Sí, I do. Only, it’s time I figured out things for myself. Like I said, I’ll be in touch.”

  The call disconnected before he could respond.

  Tightening his fist around his phone, he fought the ridiculous urge to fling the device over the balcony railing. Why did this keep happening with her?

  Anger, frustration, and guilt for his ineptitude melded into a conglomeration of hostility so intense, it threatened to consume him. Clutching the railing like a lifeline, he hung his head, at a loss for what to do.

  No telling how long he stayed there, his thoughts in turmoil, before the swish of the sliding glass door opening clued him in to Lilí’s arrival. Head still bowed, he watched her tan sandals and pink-painted toes on the tile floor as she approached.

  She placed a gentle hand on the middle of his back. A warm, comforting gesture he wanted to lean into, but the conflict between letting her in or keeping the ugliness away from her paralyzed him.

  “You okay?” she asked softly.

  He swallowed around the knot of emotion clogging his throat. “Just the normal up and down with my sister.”

  “Is she—”

  “About to bug out.” He shrugged, as if that happening was no big deal. As if the agony of failing with her once again wasn’t a burning ache in his chest. “Looks like it, anyway.”

  “If there’s anything I can do for you or her. For both of you . . . I can try,” Lilí offered.

  And risk her getting hurt as well? Put her in a position where she’d wind up being disappointed and frustrated, the same way he inevitably did when Lourdes was involved?

  This wasn’t Lilí’s problem to deal with. It’d been his to shoulder alone for a while now.

  No way was he going to sully her hands or put her in danger because of his family bullshit.

  Her brothers-in-law would make him regret it.

  Her sisters would skin him alive.

  Worse, he’d never forgive himself.

  Anxiety rising, Diego pushed off the railing. He spun away from her, pacing the length of the balcony. On the streets below cars honked, engines revved. Saturday morning city traffic picking up its pace. The hum and buzz of activity matched the disquiet buzzing in his head.

  At the far end of the balcony he skirted the two wicker barrel chairs with their black and white cushions, the matching hourglass-shaped table nestled between them. A comfy spot to relax at the end of the day. Or the perfect place to start one.

  He could easily picture Lilí sitting there, a mug of coffee cradled in her hands. Feet tucked underneath her as the sun peeked around the buildings to say hello. Hair tousled, mouth curved in her inviting grin, her eyes alight with mischief. The same way she’d greeted him when he woke up beside her this morning.

  “Whatever nonsense you’re trying to decide how to spit out, do it already.” Lilí’s bald statement brought his pacing to a halt.

  He turned around to find her standing with her feet in a wide stance, arms crossed, her chin at her typical determined jut. The same don’t-mess-with-me attitude she’d thrown at him that first night at Melba’s.

  “I offer to help, you back away. Or brush me off. It’s like a scene from a bad movie on instant replay.”

  “It’s not like that,” he hedged.

  “Then tell me how it is.” She arched a brow, a small challenge that felt more like a line drawn in the sand between them.

  He wanted to wipe that damn line away with a swipe of his foot. Take her back to bed and forget everything else, except how right it felt to be with her.

  But he couldn’t risk it. Couldn’t risk her.

  “Look, this is me. It’s how I operate.” He opened his arms wide, baring himself to her. “Being a cop, I’ve made a point of handling the crap Lourdes gets involved in by the book. Keeping my emotions out of it. I do the best I can. On my own. That’s how it has to be.”

  Lilí stared back at him, not giving an inch.

  “Maybe I should go,” he said. There was nothing else he could say that would make her understand.

  She huffed out a breath, giving him her signature eye roll. “I figured that was coming next.”

  “Come on.” He stepped toward her, reaching out, hating the way their morning had devolved. Kidding himself that maybe they could find some common ground to stand on. “Don’t be like that.”

  “Like what? Realistic? Truthful?”

  When she kept her arms crossed, rejecting his outstretched hand, he shoved it deep in his front pocket. “Look, I don’t want to fight with you.”

  “Then don’t shut me out.”

  “It’s for your own good,” he countered.

  Her lips twisted with derision, and dejection wrapped its heavy weight around his shoulders.

  Several tense beats passed.

  “Fine. Be mad at me, but what I’m doing is for the best.” For her. Definitely not for him. But she’s the one who mattered most here. “Thanks for a—”

  “No.” She shook her head forcefully, her long, satiny hair swaying against her back. “Save me the ‘thanks for a memorable night’ speech. Por favor. I want you to respect who I am. What I’m capable of doing. If you’d only let me in.”

  Each statement from her landed with an archer’s accuracy, piercing his heart, wounding his soul. Yet they didn’t change his mind. He couldn’t let them.

  “I’m only trying to protect you, Lilí, the best way I know how.”

  Jaw muscles clenched in obvious anger, she stared at him. But whereas her eyes had always been a window into her emotions, now their expression remained flat, unreadable.

  “Well then,” she finally said, her voice clipped. Detached. “You know your way out. Don’t let me stop you.”

  She moved to the railing, grasping it with both hands as she stared out at the buildings and the sun rippling off the waters of Lake Michigan in the distance. Effectively dismissing him.

  Disappointed, Diego trudged toward the balcony door, pausing at her side. He racked his brain for something, anything, that might change her mind. Unfortunately, he came up empty.

  Man, how he wanted to rewind the clock an hour. Go back to when the morning had held so much promise. But there was nothing left to say, and nothing that would ameliorate their current standoff.

  Regret strangling him, he walked away without another word.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Lilí left the women’s shelter after the group meeting and headed toward the clinic several blocks over. There was nothing pending at work, but the thought of going home, where she’d no doubt relive the argument with Diego this morning, depressed her.

  Which pissed her off.

  Which then made her need to find some way to be productive.

  There was always plenty of work to be done at the clinic, so why not make herself useful.

  The end-of-July sun beat down on her, warming her shoulders. By the time she rounded the corner onto North Kedzie Avenue, beads of perspiration dotted her upper lip. Despite the brutal heat, a cold shiver ran between her shoulder blades when she drew near the vacant building next to the clinic, the memory of Tito body-slamming her against the car vivid in her mind.

  She forced herself to look away from the line of cars parked on the side of the road. If not, she would have missed the figure sitting on the vacant building’s steps. Shoulders hunched, with her curly dark brown shoulder-length hair partially covering the woman’s face, Lilí couldn’t be sure, but it looked like . . .

  Lourdes Reyes scrambled to her feet when she caught sight of Lilí approaching. Somehow Diego’s sister didn’t seem as surprised to run into Lilí on the sidewalk as she was.

 

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