Si goes quiet, his eyes returning to the screen but his mind clearly elsewhere. I want to ask him why he and Rory fell out, but I hold back, because it probably isn’t a good idea to go down that rabbit hole tonight.

  ‘Sorry for being moody,’ he finally says, forcing a smile. ‘Let’s just watch the movie. No one should talk over a classic.’

  ‘Agreed,’ I say, trying to lighten the mood, but Si has got me thinking now. Thinking about my own life. Am I letting it slip by? Should I be settled now? Is it as tragic as I think it is, that I’ve managed to get to my thirties without having a steady job, a home, or a partner?

  Shit, now it’s all that I can think about.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I’m woken up by the need to pee – all of the alcohol from last night is ganging up on my bladder – and while I could be tempted to lie here for just a little longer, I am now realising that I have a problem. A big one. And I’ve no idea what I’m doing to do about it.

  You see, not only am I learning – right now – that I must have fallen asleep in Si’s bed while we were watching movies, and as though it weren’t awkward enough, that I’ve been here all night, I appear to have snuggled up to him, draping my arm across his body. I’m wearing my dress but, because it doesn’t have sleeves, my arm has sort of stuck to his shirtless torso. Removing it is going to be like ripping off a plaster.

  He's still asleep, I can tell by his breathing. If I am only just learning that we fell asleep together, what are the chances that he hasn’t realised yet, if he’s still asleep? Perhaps if I can sneak out of here, he’ll never know.

  I slowly remove my arm from Si’s body before gently shuffling to the edge of the bed. I finally get to my feet, scanning the dimly lit room for my shoes, before grabbing them and heading for the door.

  I have never opened a door so slowly, or gently, in my life. I’m impressing myself – you would think I do this all the time. I pull it shut behind me, allowing it to click shut ever so softly, smiling to myself because I actually pulled it off.

  Of course, it’s only when I turn around that I see Adam standing behind me, watching me sneak out of his brother’s bedroom. Shit.

  ‘Oh my gosh, you scared me,’ I tell him, still whispering, because now I really really don’t want to wake Si.

  ‘Sorry,’ he replies. ‘I was just going to the bathroom, so…’

  His voice trails off. I don’t think either of us knows what to say.

  ‘Good night last night?’ I ask him, hoping he returns the question, so that I can tell him this is not what it looks like.

  ‘I should really…’

  He points towards the bathroom door.

  ‘Oh, yeah, absolutely,’ I reply. ‘See you later.’

  I head into my room and close the door behind me.

  Shiiiiit.

  It’s still early so I peel off my dress and grab a t-shirt, thinking I’ll get into bed for a bit, but I’m no sooner out of my dress and blindly wiping away at my make-up with a facewipe when I hear a knock on my door.

  I rush to answer, hoping it’s Adam, hoping that he’s here for an explanation because I can explain, but it’s Si.

  ‘Oh, good morning,’ I say brightly, trying to style it out. ‘Sleep well?’

  ‘Well, this is sort of awkward but… did we sleep together?’ he asks me.

  ‘Did we… what?’ I say, blinking at him with faux innocence.

  ‘Did we sleep together?’ Si asks again. ‘It’s just… I’m covered in something…’

  I notice Adam, over Si’s shoulder, walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and I really, really hope he didn’t hear that.

  ‘Covered in something?’ I reply. ‘Like what?’

  Si steps into the light of my room, showing me his bare torso, and he is covered in strange brown marks.

  ‘Oh my God, what is that?’ I ask him.

  ‘I don’t know,’ he replies. ‘But…’

  He points at my arm which has the same brown marks and…

  ‘Oh my God,’ I blurt. ‘You have nothing to worry about, it’s just fake tan. Mel covered me in it, and we didn’t think it had worked. I guess, we fell asleep last night, and I must have got it on you while we were sleeping. I’m so sorry, I’ll ask her what we need, to remove it.’

  Si just laughs.

  ‘Fake tan I can handle,’ he reassures me. ‘Don’t worry about it. I know we’d both had a bit to drink. I did wonder if it has transferred… some other way.’

  ‘Oh, no,’ I quickly insist.

  ‘Well, that’s good,’ he replies. ‘I know you said that you didn’t want to rush into anything but, when you do…’

  I smile. He seems so sweet and kind of vulnerable right now. I don’t want to get his hopes up, or let him down, so the only thing left to do is joke.

  ‘There are girls out there who won’t leave you with bad temporary tattoos,’ I tell him with a chuckle. ‘I’m mortified, I really am.’

  ‘None as special as you though,’ he tells me. ‘Anyway, see you at breakfast. I’m cooking.’

  ‘Great,’ I reply. ‘Can’t wait.’

  Finally, alone, I take off my t-shirt and examine my body in the mirror. Wow, what a mess. I really need to stop letting Mel do these things to me.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Today I begin my quest to find local bands to play the Blossom FM festival, and seeing as though I’m supposed to be sourcing cool musicians, I thought it might be a good idea to look the part.

  After going heavy on the black eyeliner and the red lipstick, I step back to try and take in my outfit in the small bathroom mirror – you can tell only men live in this house. With my black lace top, my black skinny jeans and my leather jacket (in case the temperature drops later) I look every inch the rock chick I had in mind, and of course, I’m wearing a pair of bright red killer heels to go with it. It’s nice, to have something to dress up for – other than the pub – and to feel like there is something riding on that first impression.

  As I stroll downstairs for breakfast I see that Si and Adam are already tucking in at the table.

  ‘Is it Halloween?’ Si asks in astonishment. ‘What are you wearing?’

  ‘This is my rock chick look,’ I inform him, holding my arms out in a ta-da kind of way. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘You look awesome,’ Adam says. For this compliment, Si shoots him a dirty look.

  ‘It’s very… raunchy,’ Si says, attempting to be tactful. ‘For a morning, I mean. Obviously I think you look amazing.’

  I shrug my shoulders and sit down at the table.

  ‘Ooh, can I have some of that?’ I ask Adam, picking up the box of Coco Pops from next to him.

  ‘Sure,’ he replies, flicking a soggy piece of cereal from the edge of his bowl at me playfully.

  ‘You did not just do that,’ I reply with a laugh.

  ‘That’s enough, Adam,’ Si snaps as he reads his paper.

  Adam and I look at each other like a couple of naughty kids. I don’t know what it is about Adam but he brings out this different side of me. He makes me want to have a laugh, to not take myself too seriously.

  ‘I had a word with Kerry this morning,’ Adam tells me. ‘She thinks it’s a great idea that I go check out the bands with you, give you my opinion.’

  ‘That’s awesome,’ I reply, vaguely aware of Si staring at us as we chat.

  ‘So, the two of you are going out together?’ Si checks.

  ‘Yeah, well, for work,’ I reply.

  ‘Do you know what else Kerry told me?’ Adam continues, and I can already tell from his tone that it’s going to be good.

  ‘What? What?’ I reply, excited already.

  ‘She told me that The Burnouts are doing a secret set,’ he replies. ‘They’re not announcing it, they’re just going to turn up. It’s all a part of their comeback tour that seems to be going on and on.’

  ‘Oh my God, no way! Do you think I’ll get to meet them?’ I ask.

  ‘I’m sure you will,’ he replies. ‘I tell you what – I’ll make sure you do.’

  ‘Who are The Burnouts?’ Si interrupts.

  ‘You haven’t heard of The Burnouts?’ I reply, absolutely astonished.

  Si shakes his head.

  ‘The Burnouts were not only huge, like, ten years ago, but they’re doing this huge comeback thing, and they’re bigger and better now,’ I tell him. ‘Are you sure you haven’t heard of them? They’re never off the radio or the TV.’

  ‘Nope,’ he says simply.

  I do feel a little bad, that I’m gravitating towards Adam, and having conversations with him that Si can’t be a part of. They’re both my housemates, I need to make more of an effort.

  ‘Do either of you guys fancy the cinema one night this week?’ I ask.

  ‘Yes. Actually, there’s a World War II film that I really want to see,’ Si replies, suddenly enthusiastic, and clearly delighted to be included.

  I don’t intend to, but I must pull a funny face because Si reacts to it.

  ‘What, you don’t like war films?’ he replies in disbelief. ‘What would you rather see?’

  ‘Well, there’s this comedy flick out, about a man who swaps bodies with his dog,’ I reply, suddenly realising how ridiculous that sounds.

  ‘“Bone Again”,’ Adam says, clapping his hands together with enthusiasm. ‘I saw the trailer, it looks hilarious.’

  ‘I know, right?’ I say excitedly, but as I look over at Si I can tell he’s not impressed.

  ‘You kids go see your dog film,’ he says coolly. ‘That’s not really my cup of tea.’

  Calling us kids, for wanting to see a movie about a talking dog, does nothing to quash the age gap stuff, but it’s not really that, is it? It’s just taste. Si is more serious while Adam and I are more goofy. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same.

  ‘Maybe we could go tonight?’ Adam suggests, but as he speaks Si must catch his eye because he stares at him. ‘You okay, bro?’

  ‘Yeah, could I have a quick word with you, before you go,’ Si replies. ‘It’s just house stuff.’

  ‘I’ll give you some space,’ I say, sensing an awkwardness. ‘I forgot my bag anyway.’

  I leave the room and, as tempted as I am to listen in, and I know that the creaking of stairs (or lack thereof) will give away the fact that I haven’t actually gone.

  Hmm, perhaps it really is house stuff, or maybe Adam will tell me later.

  We’ll just have to see.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  As first days at work go this hasn’t been the greatest – because I haven’t actually done any work.

  Adam and I went to meet the first band at Blossom HQ but there was a message waiting for us saying they were stuck in traffic and they would have to reschedule. Kerry was there, so she showed me around the studio and introduced me to the team. They’re like a proper little family unit, everyone is so friendly, and they were all having a laugh together – exactly the kind of place you’d want to work, which has only made me more determined to prove myself.

  It's lunchtime, and Si will be at work, so we have decided to head home to grab a bite to eat, and to do some planning from there.

  ‘Do you think you’ll get all starstruck when you meet The Burnouts?’ Adam asks as we walk down his street.

  ‘Maybe Dylan King,’ I reply. ‘I’ve had a crush on him forever.’

  ‘He’s in a relationship now, right?’ Adam replies. ‘I hear he isn’t a bad boy anymore.’

  ‘Well, the older I get, the more I realise that I probably don’t want a bad boy,’ I point out.

  ‘The older I get, the more I realise that I’ve never really been a bad boy, even if I liked to think I was one, when I was younger,’ he says with a laugh. ‘It was Si, who was the wild one. I was the good boy, would you believe.’

  ‘Well, I remember thinking Si was super cool,’ I admit. ‘I had such a crush on him, when I was a kid, because he was my older brother’s friend, and he seemed like a badass.’

  Adam laughs.

  ‘Well, he definitely likes you back now,’ Adam tells me. ‘He had a bit of a word with me earlier, telling me to back off. Don’t worry, I told him he had nothing to worry about.’

  I’m not worried, I’m kind of gutted.

  ‘Oh, right, okay,’ I reply. ‘Well, he’s probably just looking out for me, because I told him I’m in no rush to–’

  ‘Did you bring your keys?’ Adam asks, interrupting me.

  ‘No, I didn’t, I figured you would have yours,’ I reply.

  ‘No worries, we can go in the back door, we hide a key around there,’ he replies.

  I follow Adam around the back of the house and into the kitchen. We’re no sooner in there when Si comes in.

  ‘Bro, we thought you were at work,’ Adam says, sounding surprised.

  ‘I thought you two were at work,’ Si says, narrowing his eyes.

  ‘The band cancelled,’ I reply. ‘So, we thought we’d work from here.’

  ‘Why did you come in through the back door?’ Si asks.

  ‘Because we both forgot our keys,’ Adam replies.

  Si stares at him for a second.

  ‘Well, I’m working from home today, so I’ll be able to hear you, if you’re making a noise,’ Si warns us – it really does feel like he’s warning us, in a weird way.

  ‘We’ll keep the noise down, don’t worry,’ I reassure him.

  Si, who still looks uncomfortable, heads off.

  ‘Honestly, he’s like my dad sometimes,’ Adam points out.

  ‘Mine too,’ I say with a sigh.

  I wonder what’s going on in his head.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I’m at my parents’ house, sorting through my things, working out what to keep, what to donate, and what to throw away. All under the watchful eyes of my Leonardo DiCaprio posters, of course – I suppose I’m going to have to work out what to do with those too. They’re all faded, after being up for so long, and held up by such crusty Blu tac that it might actually be better for the walls to leave them up, unless the room is being redecorated soon.

  I sort through at least two bags carefully before I start to get bored. I dump the next one out into a big pile instead. That’s when I spot it, the one item amongst my clothes that is not mine, it’s a white man’s shirt, or more specifically my ex-boyfriend’s shirt.

  I hold it up in front of me and just stare at it. I genuinely don’t know how I ended up packing it – I certainly didn’t intend to – and I really don’t have a clue what I should do with this. I’d burn it, if I had any sense.

  ‘Holding on to things like that won’t do you any good,’ my mum says from my bedroom doorway.

  ‘I didn’t mean to pack it,’ I insist, but this falls on deaf ears.

  ‘Dwelling on what happened with you-know-who isn’t going to help you get over him,’ she tells me. ‘It was wrong of him, to lead you on, pretending he was single like that, but you have to let it go. You have to let him go.’

  ‘I have,’ I tell her and, wow, I think I have. I haven’t thought about him in days – I don’t even remember what the last thought I had about him was.

  ‘Come on, let’s get something to eat,’ she suggests. ‘And a cup of tea.’

  My mum drinks tea like her life depends on it. I think I’m getting more like her, in that respect, as I’m getting older.

  I throw the shirt to one side.

  ‘I’d love that,’ I tell her.

  Downstairs, I scan the kitchen for what I fancy to eat.

  ‘What can I make you?’ my mum asks brightly as I take a seat at the table.

  ‘I actually really fancy a mix of cereal,’ I reply. I really couldn’t think of anything better right now than my mum lovingly combining my favourite cereals to cheer me up.

  ‘Leah, I thought you were getting your life back on track,’ she replies. ‘Perhaps it’s time to eat just the one type of cereal, like an adult. It’s lunchtime, really. How about I heat us up some sausage rolls?’

  I can’t help but laugh. I guess at least this means she thinks I’m doing better.

  ‘Go for it,’ I reply.

  The doorbell rings.

  ‘I’ll get it,’ mum says.

  ‘Well, while the sausage rolls are warming, I’ll go crack on with my sorting,’ I tell her.

  ‘No crying into that silly shirt,’ she calls up the stairs after me.

  Starting as I mean to go on, I march into my old room, grab his shirt, and throw it into the bin bag. Then I smile because, honestly, I really am over him. The only thing I want to do now is look forward. Of course, I should probably look backwards sometimes, because it’s only when I hear him gasp that I realise that Adam is standing behind me.

  ‘Oh my God,’ he blurts. ‘Is this the Leonardo DiCaprio suite?’

  ‘No, Josh Hartnett puts in an appearance too,’ I reply. ‘What are you doing in here?’

  ‘Your mum said you were up here, that I should tell you the sausage rolls will be ready in twenty minutes, and that I could stay for some if I wanted.’

  ‘Why?’ I blurt in disbelief.

  ‘I think she’s just being a good hostess,’ he says.

  ‘No, why are you here?’ I ask him.

  ‘Oh, I just came to see how you were,’ he tells me. ‘Or if you might need a hand. Si said you’d come here, to sort out your things, and I’m free today so…’

  ‘Do I even need to explain that this was my bedroom when I was very young, and that I just haven’t had the chance to take these down yet?’

  ‘You can try to explain,’ Adam says as he sits back on my bed and gazes up at the Leo poster on my ceiling, ‘but it won’t do any good.’

  ‘I just had, you know, a normal teenage crush, it’s nothing weird,’ I insist.

  ‘Did you want to be the Juliet to his Romeo?’ Adam asks playfully.

  ‘Well, that didn’t end well for either of them,’ I remind him. ‘But if you’d asked me when I was fourteen I probably would have said yes.’

  He laughs.

  ‘Oh, is that your yearbook?’ he asks.

  ‘Yeah,’ I reply.

  ‘Come on, let’s see,’ he practically begs. ‘I love to see a person’s origin story.’

 

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