Chasing Forever, page 12
“And I’ll show you respect the day you show it to me. And to her. Until then, don’t bother coming around.”
She doesn’t argue. She just walks away, probably too furious to speak. That makes two of us.
Once she’s out of sight, I grab my beer and down the rest of it before pitching the bottle in the recycling bin. Mack creeps back in and curls up at my feet.
I pull my phone from my back pocket and scroll down to Lottie’s name, looking for some type of reassurance I’m not the fool everyone is saying I am.
Still good for six tomorrow?
Yep. Ready to cross off date two.
I drop the phone on the table. Not what I was looking for.
My phone vibrates, and I pick it back up.
No smart-ass comment back? You’re disappointing me, Sheriff.
A small grin cracks my face. God, I needed that. If she was really just checking off boxes, she wouldn’t care if I answered.
Do you have time for a walk?
Tonight?
God, I’m putting myself out there, but I press Send anyway.
Yeah.
Does it count as a date?
My mom just left.
The three dots pop up. Disappear. Pop up again.
I’ll come to you.
And thre’s my proof.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Brooks
I’m on the front porch with a beer and Mack at my side when Lottie pulls down my drive. She parks and climbs out, Mack climbing to his feet and bolting right over to her. He takes off as though she belongs to him. Hell, we both do.
She’s wearing jeans and a Plain Daisy Ranch sweatshirt, her hair thrown into a messy bun and not a stitch of makeup on.
Lottie’s beautiful, and seeing her so effortless only makes me desperate for more. She lightens something heavy inside me.
“Hi, Mack.” She crouches and, as always, nuzzles her head into Mack’s neck, her hands petting him all over. “Sorry about your mean visitor today.” Mack eats up the attention, happy to take whatever she’ll give.
“Leave Mommy alone,” I say. The joke tastes sour in my mouth and is my way to deflect. No one understands my family more than Lottie.
She shakes her head and walks up to the porch, sitting next to me and eyeing my beer. “You have one for me too?”
I pull one out from my side, twist off the cap, and hand it to her. She takes a sip and sits just like me with her legs spread, forearms on her knees, a beer bottle dangling from her fingertips.
“How bad was it?” she asks.
“I kicked her out.”
She blows out a breath. “I’m sorry.”
Mack walks up the steps, stops, and looks at both of us, but goes to Lottie’s side and flops next to her. Not surprising.
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”
She hits her shoulder to mine. “We both know that’s not true.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes. It was selfish, dragging her into this. But I’m tired of pretending I’m fine. My head is a mess about how I live in this town I love with my parents always breathing down my neck. At some point, I probably need to sever ties to really live without being in their oppressive shadow. I’m either going to burn the bridge or let it rot beneath me.
She rocks her shoulder against mine again. “I thought you promised me a walk?”
I rise to my feet and hold out my hand to her. “You’re right. Care for a tour of my property?”
She slides her hand in mine, and Mack is quick to get to his feet, joining us as we descend the steps.
We fall in line, walking between my house and the barn, on a path worn into the grass. We head through the nestle of trees and make our way to the small pond, starting on the path around it. Lottie doesn’t try to fill the silence, and I appreciate her for it.
We walk long enough for my nerves to start crawling. Long enough for the guilt to push against my ribs. If I really want her, then I need to show her that she can open up to me about her trauma by showing her my own wounds.
“Did Holden ever tell you about our dad?” I ask.
I don’t miss her quick intake of breath, but Holden is my brother, and we can’t ignore the fact that once upon a time, she thought he was her forever.
“He said he could be difficult. Had high expectations.” She bends to the side and her fingers run down Mack’s back.
“My dad would go from zero to one hundred without any warning. And when he got upset, like really mad, he’d rage and say the worst things you can think of. Make you feel about a foot tall because he always knew exactly where the scars were, where to hit so it would hurt the most. It made you feel like you were worthless.”
“I know.” Her voice hitches, and I instantly grow antsy. For what he might’ve done to her. What if I wasn’t there, and he went after her like he used to go after Holden and me?
“Has he… did he—”
She shakes her head. “No. I just never got a welcoming feeling from him or your mom. They didn’t ever seem to like me. Maybe they had dreams of who Holden would marry, and I wasn’t her.”
I swallow down my irritation with my parents. “I knew they didn’t make it easy on you, but they wouldn’t make it easy on anyone he brought home, believe me.”
We hit the edge of my small dock, where my fishing boat and kayak rest. Lottie sits at the edge, and I sit next to her. Mack rests along our backs like a lower back pillow.
“I’m sure they would love someone from his world now,” she says.
Holden never comes up in any conversation with anyone in town, but to my parents, he’s seen as the mortal enemy by everyone. He scorned Lottie, and being a part of the extended Noughton family tree and with Plain Daisy Ranch looked upon so highly in Willowbrook, he was cast as the villain. There are a few who believe she wasn’t enough for him, but the truth is that he wasn’t enough for her.
“They don’t even understand his world now.” The sun is setting, and the sky is lit up in sherbert shades of orange and yellow. “If you’d rather not talk about him—”
She finishes her beer and sets it next to her on the deck. “I think I spend too much time trying not to talk about him. It doesn’t really affect me. I’m proud of myself that I’ve made so much progress. It’s hard to explain, but he was a major part of my life for a chunk of time, and everyone dodges his name like a bullet. Honestly, I’ve been over him for a long time.”
I swallow hard, because I’ve needed to hear that for so long—but part of me worried it wouldn’t be the case. That some piece of her was still attached to him.
“I just wish people would stop treating me like I’m about to break at the mention of his name.”
“Holden. Holden. Holden.”
She laughs and knocks her shoulder with mine.
“Look, you’re still in one piece.”
“That I am.” She smiles, and fuck, she’s so beautiful. How did I ever let Holden swoop in and take her like a hawk searching for prey?
Another bout of silence rolls over us.
She says my name.
I finish my beer and place it next to me. “Yeah?”
“You’re a really good man.”
I turn to her, and my chest loosens at her compliment. I needed to hear it after kicking my mom off my property.
“Don’t look so surprised, you know you are. You’re nothing like your family, and I want you to know that the reason I’m so hesitant has nothing to do with them. If anything, I feel bad for you.”
“Shit, Lottie, don’t feel bad for me.”
She turns to me, propping one leg up and leaving the other dangling off the dock. “I don’t want to play games, so I’m just going to tell you.”
“What?”
Her hands cradle in her lap, and she takes a deep breath before meeting my gaze. “I like you.”
I’m so unprepared, her confession hits me like a sucker punch.
“Oh stop it. You knew I did.” She rolls her eyes playfully.
“You hide it well, but yeah, I had a suspicion. I wouldn’t force someone to be married to me if I didn’t think the feelings weren’t reciprocated.”
“There’s more though—”
But I don’t want to hear her list all the reasons she doesn’t think this can work. So I lean in and finally take her mouth. Not gently or cautiously, but the way I’ve been dying to do for years. There’s nothing else I want from her in this moment. No more words, no more confessions. I’ll handle all that later. Whatever’s shattered in her, I’ll put it back together piece by piece. I’ll stitch her heart back together so tightly, she’ll never know it was broken.
Her arms wind around my neck, and the second my tongue brushes her lips, she opens for me.
Somewhere around us, the beer bottles clink and fall with a plunk into the lake. Mack groans as he shifts away. But I barely register it. All I know is the way she clutches me tighter, heat radiating off her as I lift her, mouth never leaving hers, and settle her onto my lap.
She straddles me, her fingers raking through my hair, pushing my hat somewhere behind us. I groan against her mouth when she drags her nails against my scalp, sweet and a tad possessive.
Her body rocks forward, pressing against me, and the contact pulls a curse from deep in my chest. Her core drags along the hard line of me, slow and maybe intentional, because she’s not shy about her grinding along my hard length.
I pull back just enough to breathe. Our foreheads are pressed together, and her lips are still parted, swollen and red.
“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” I whisper, voice wrecked. “You. Right here with me.”
She bites her bottom lip, and I nearly lose it. “Then stop talking,” she whispers.
So I do. God help me, I do.
I have no idea where this is going, but to hell if I’m asking for directions.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lottie
I’m standing in front of my closet, trying to decide between two different shirts. A flowery one that says, “first date,” and a low-cut one that says, “kiss me.” A soft knock lands on my bedroom door.
Sadie peeks her head in. “Can I come in?”
“Sure. Where’s Daisy?” I stare at the hangers as if I’m close to making a decision.
“She’s downstairs. The girls are all over her. Heard you were going out with Brooks tonight, and I wanted to pop by and say how sorry I am.”
She sits down on the edge of my bed, and I join her.
“You don’t have to be sorry. You were right. I was being defensive and letting what happened with Holden keep me from the possibility of a future with Brooks.”
Her hand falls to my leg. “I know it’s hard. Especially since he’s Holden’s brother, but they couldn’t be more different. I just want you to put yourself out there, but I was being pushy and nosy, and I have no idea what it must be like for you.”
“It’s been a decade, so…”
She chuckles but stops quickly.
“Sadie, you can laugh. It’s okay.”
I’m not mentally there yet, but allowing Brooks to kiss me felt really good. I’ve missed that kind of exhilaration.
“We kissed,” I say, needing to tell someone, though I’m still worried how I’m going to feel if this goes south.
She squeals and then covers her mouth. “When? Tell me everything.”
“On his dock.”
“Love it.” She claps her hands together.
I squeeze my eyes shut for a second. “I told him I like him.”
She squeals again, tackling me to the bed, her arms so tight, she squeezes the breath right out of me.
“I’m so happy for you.” She sits up and slaps my thigh. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“It just happened last night. I’m still processing.”
It’s the truth. Every time I thought about that kiss today, butterflies tore through my stomach. The way his hands ran over my body, the moans that escaped from his throat, and his words that he’d been waiting for that moment for so long…
He asked to hold my hand as he walked me back to the house. The second-guessing didn’t come until I was driving home and passed a Vote for Watson sign. That’s when the weight of us hit me. Do I want to sign up for his parents’ judgment for the rest of my life? Sure, Brooks is upset with them, but in the end, they’re his family.
Then this morning, he walked into The Harvest Depot for coffee and smiled at me as if I’m the only thing that matters. His smile lit up the entire store, and he didn’t break his stride until he had backed me into the wall and kissed me thoroughly before telling me he’d thought of me all night.
“Look at you. You’re blushing.”
Sadie’s voice pulls me from my thoughts.
“It’s scary,” I confess.
She nods. “Anything worthwhile is. I can tell you not to worry, that Brooks isn’t going to hurt you, at least not on purpose, but my words aren’t going to convince you. Just keep moving forward. If you need to pause for a second and just live in the moment, do it, but keep pushing, Lottie. I know you’ll be rewarded if you keep pushing yourself forward with Brooks.”
I sigh and look out the window just in time to see his truck pulling down our drive. There’s no ignoring the way my body lights up, every nerve ending humming with the want to run down the stairs and beg him to kiss me again.
“Oh, you have it bad. Did you sleep with him?” Sadie stands and walks over to my closet.
“No. I’m not ready for that.”
She nods, going through my closet. “Understandable.”
“I feel like there’s more we need to discuss, you know? Both of us are going on attraction, I think.”
She laughs and pulls out a blouse, tossing it to me. “No, you’re not, but it’s cute you think so.”
I pull my T-shirt over my head and put on the blouse, then she throws me a pair of jeans.
“Sadie…”
She comes over and drops a pair of boots at my feet. “Listen. All of that will come. Don’t get ahead of yourself. This is the best part of starting a new relationship—the butterflies, the exhilaration, the excitement. You don’t want to miss it because you’re stuck in your head. I know it’s not easy, but push all the bullshit away and just enjoy yourself. You deserve to live in the moment. Forget everything except the two of you and how you feel when you’re with him.”
I stand and hug her. “Thank you.”
“I’m still sorry for pushing you instead of listening and trying to understand.”
I draw back then hug her again. “Stop apologizing. Thanks for putting up with my stubborn ass for so long.”
She laughs, and I sit on the bed to put on my cowboy boots.
“Well, someone has to.”
A knock lands on my door. Sadie opens it to find Romy holding Daisy out for her. “She’s looking for something I don’t have.” Then she turns to look at me. “Brooks is here for you, Lottie.”
“Sorry about that.” Sadie takes Daisy. “Let’s go home and get you fed, sweetie.”
“You better hurry. Scarlett and Poppy are giving Brooks the third degree about his intentions with you.” Romy laughs and scurries down the stairs.
I finish putting on my boots and grab my lip gloss, sliding it across my lips before heading down the stairs.
I’m within earshot when I hear Brooks say, “My intention is to fuck her against my wall tonight. And then take her on the kitchen table. After that, I plan on spreading her on my bed and feasting on her—”
“Jesus, Brooks!” Poppy shouts. “This was all fun and games until you ruined it.”
“You asked. I’m just being truthful.”
I finish walking down the stairs, shaking my head. Only Brooks sees me because Poppy and Scarlett’s backs are facing me where they sit on the couch.
He rises from the chair, holding his cowboy hat against his chest. He’s wearing jeans and a T-shirt again, but tonight he’s got his cowboy hat with him. Although I didn’t mind him in his backward baseball hat the other night, this look is sexier. As if he made an effort to look good for me.
Our shared smile probably reveals my secret—that I’m slowly becoming open to this thing between us. It’s weird that we’re married when I feel like we just started dating. But I push away that problem for another day.
“Hey.” His voice is low and has a seductive drawl that makes my insides quiver.
“All done with the third degree, ladies?”
“Brooks ruined the fun.” Poppy pouts, and I laugh, crossing the room, ignoring my sister, two cousins, and Sadie holding a whiny Daisy.
“Are you ready?” I ask.
“Ready and waiting.”
He holds out his hand, and I ignore the comments coming from our audience. They sound shocked that I’m being so cordial to him. I accept his outstretched hand.
“Don’t wait up, ladies. Remember my intentions. After seeing how hot Lottie looks, I’m adding a shower to the itinerary.” Brooks chuckles, opening the front door for me.
“God, you’re a buzzkill, Brooks.” Scarlett huffs.
On the porch with the door shut behind us, Brooks tugs me into his arms.
“Hi,” he says with an even more seductive tone than earlier. “Want me to stop?”
I shake my head, already drunk on him. This is coming so easy, and right now, in this moment, I don’t want it to stop.
“Good.” His lips land on mine, sweet and innocent. Nothing like the other night or this morning at the store. The kiss ends way too quickly for me. “Ready for your date?”
“Where are we going?”
“That’s a surprise.” He opens his truck door for me to climb in. “I’m happy to help you. You know, if you need it?”
“No ass touching yet, Sheriff.”
