Cage of Ice and Echoes, page 7
But I can’t. No one walks away from something like that unchanged.
I nearly lost her. If I had arrived one minute later…
She’s my life. Her safety is my duty, my number one priority, and I failed.
“You’re okay,” I whisper repeatedly, my voice hoarse with emotion.
She clings to me, quaking violently, her heartbeat echoing mine. I kiss her head and inhale her feminine scent, letting it calm the wildness inside me.
As we stand there, surrounded by the raging threat of another adversary, I know we won’t make it out of this gorge anytime soon.
But we won’t starve. The fallen bear provides the promise of life. Food, precious and vital, now lies at our feet.
I have a million questions about the attack and her search for answers, but I ask the only one that matters. “Where’s the cave, love?”
“Five minutes that way?” She points behind her. “I think? It’s not far.”
“We’ll shelter there until the storm passes.” I lower my pack beside the bear and remove the heavy-duty ratchet straps. “We need to hurry.”
“What are you…?” She stares at the beast, her eyes widening with realization. “Oh, my God. We have food.”
“That’s right.” I grin, sharing in her excitement. “Can you grab the snow machine?”
Nodding, she reloads the rifle—smart woman—and races off as I secure our prize in the straps.
Hope, bright and warm, fills me to the brim. Bears don’t often wander out of hibernation in the winter. This one was probably hungry, drowsy, and confused. That, combined with the bullets she put in the front leg and flank, slowed it down enough for her to outrun it.
I’ve seen bears emerge early but never in this area. Had I known it was a possibility, I would’ve never agreed to let her out of my sight.
I can’t find it in me to be mad. This is a blessing. A miracle. This full-grown, six-hundred-pound, muscled female will fill our bellies for a month.
“Thank you.” I sink my hands into the thick fur and bow my head. “You saved us, old girl. I won’t squander this gift.”
The purr of the snow machine sounds behind me as I tighten the final strap.
A few minutes later, with the bear attached to the sled and dragging behind us, we make the slow journey to the cave.
I check the trail to the top, and just as I thought, the conditions are too dangerous to attempt the steep climb. We’re stuck here indefinitely.
The cave entrance provides enough shelter to stow the machine and its bounty. We have hours of work ahead of us, but the instant we’re safely beneath the overhang beyond the reach of the storm, I turn to her with questions in my eyes.
“I found it.” She lowers her pack to the ground and removes a dry bag, offering it to me.
Found what? I watch her, searching her face for clues.
“Open it.” She bites her lip.
“Is this what I think it is?” My chest lifts as I remove a book from the bag and pore through the pages. “This…Holy fuck, Frankie. This is…”
“Freedom.”
Unblinking, I stare at the diagrams of levers and gauges in disbelief. “We’re getting out of here.”
“Yeah.”
“You did it!” Whooping with laughter, I grab her around the waist and swing her into my arms. “You fucking did it!”
“I didn’t do anything. You’re the one who will be decoding all that stuff and flying us out of here.” Smiling, she pushes at my chest and stretches her toes toward the ground. “Better put that away before something happens to it.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I smack a kiss on her lips and return the manual to the bag. “What’s this?”
Something catches my eye at the bottom, and I reach in, removing a thumb drive.
My mind swims, and apprehension trickles in as I conjure endless ways Denver can still fuck with us.
“I don’t want to know what’s on this.” My fingers clench around the casing.
“Don’t break it.” She plucks it from my grip and drops it in the bag. “Might be important.”
“Might be a trick. More twisted discoveries about our fucked-up history.”
“We won’t know until we have a computer or something with power to read it.”
“This is everything? A flight manual and thumb drive?”
“Yeah, but we can check again.” She squints at the slope that descends into the cave. “Since we’re staying in there, I’ll show you where I found it. Maybe I missed something.”
“Not likely. The manual is more than I hoped for, but…”
“The key to restoring the electricity would’ve been the cherry on top.” She glances at the dry bag. “I wouldn’t put it past him to put instructions for the power system on a thumb drive that requires power. I’m expecting that, actually. It will no longer matter after we freeze through the winter.”
“I’ll keep you warm.” I lower my brow to hers.
“I’m counting on it.”
Over the next several hours, Frankie helps me field-dress the bear. We dump the unusable parts in the river, tie the organs and meat in tarps on the sled, and haul enough coal and river water into the cave to keep us sustained for a few days.
By the time we finish, we’re bone-tired and covered in blood.
After we remove our snowshoes, she sets up our double sleeping bag, and I start a fire in the stone pit I’ve used many times through the years.
Doesn’t take long to coax a blaze strong enough to chase away the chill in our small alcove. We shed our outerwear, heat the water, and roast our dinner.
As we wash our skin and clean our teeth, I can’t help but marvel at her beauty.
Her delicate bone structure, sculpted by the harshness of this unforgiving land, shimmers in the light. Long strands of hair cascade down her back like trails of fire, swaying with her movements as she scrubs away the remnants of a very long day.
Green eyes, vibrant and alive, reflect the flickering glow of flames with a mesmerizing intensity. They hold a depth that speaks of the challenges she’s faced, the trials endured, and the hardships still to come. Yet there’s resilience in her gaze, a stubbornness that refuses to be broken by the brutal realities of our existence.
A swell of gratitude washes over me as I watch her work. Grateful that she’s by my side, that she survived the day. Each stroke of her hand, each drop of water mingled with blood, attests to her courage and determination.
Despite the savage storm that surrounds us on all sides, there’s a warmth in her presence that fills me with hope. Hope for tomorrow, hope for a future where we can leave this treacherous place behind and build a life together.
But for now, at this moment, I’m simply grateful she’s here, beside me, her beauty a glimmering orb of light in a cold, dark cave.
As the smoky scent of meat saturates the air, my mouth salivates. She smells it, too, pausing to stare at the sizzling slab with longing.
“Here.” I tear off a piece and hold it to her lips. “Blow.”
She clutches my wrist as if I might pull it away and frees a soft breath, cooling down the morsel. As I slide it into her mouth, I feel her groaning satisfaction in every cell of my body.
Providing for her, putting that radiant smile on her face, it satiates a deep, fundamental need. She would call me a caveman for that, and maybe I am. My lips twitch as I glance at my surroundings.
“You better eat.” Humming, she slips another strip between her lips. “Why are you smiling?”
“You’re beautiful.”
Soft warmth suffuses her expression. Drifting closer, she lifts a bite of meat to my mouth, and I suck it from her fingers, licking her slender digits.
Fuck, that’s good. The rich, gamy flavor sweeps over my taste buds, making my eyes roll back into my head.
Cooking it over the fire adds a charred exterior while retaining moisture inside. I’ve never eaten anything this appetizing.
“Delicious, isn’t it?” She pops another savory treat in my mouth. “Tastes like beef but with its own unique flavor profile.”
Bear meat is usually tougher and more fibrous, but not tonight.
Tonight, it’s a gourmet meal, a luxurious delicacy that melts in the mouth.
The experience of tasting it after being hungry for so long probably intensifies its flavor, making it seem more satisfying and nourishing than it actually is.
I don’t care. The joy in her eyes shines so brightly it illuminates the cave, penetrates my chest, and settles into the notch at the base of my spine.
We eat our fill, taking turns feeding each other and grinning through every bite, licking our fingers, licking each other’s fingers. We’re a pair of gluttonous, hedonistic animals until every juicy piece is picked clean from the bone.
The visceral warmth and protein the meal provides is so comforting it’s overwhelming. Together, we lie back on the sleeping bag, rubbing our bellies and moaning between bouts of laughter, drunk on our fullness.
“We shouldn’t have done that.” She angles her face toward mine, swiping her tongue across grease-slicked lips. “Our digestive systems need to readjust after going so long without. We’re probably going to puke.”
“No regrets.” I clasp her hand, lacing our fingers. “I love seeing you happy.”
Beyond the physical relief, there’s an integral, emotional significance in experiencing this with her. The meal signifies survival, resourcefulness, and overcoming extreme adversity.
The act of taking down a bear, preparing it, and finally eating it feels deeply symbolic. It’s an ego stroke, for sure. But my emotions run the gamut from gratitude and relief to awe and respect for the bear that provided our sustenance.
“Come on.” I crawl beneath the blankets of our makeshift bed and pull her in after me.
With the fire blazing in a bed of coal, our bellies stuffed, and my beautiful girl tucked safely into the cradle of my body, I release my first contented sigh in weeks.
“Do you think there are more bears out there?” she whispers.
“They’re asleep, deep in their caves. Strange that one roused early. Not unheard of but…” Guilt stabs my chest. “I should’ve—”
“Don’t say it.” She flips over to face me, pressing her palms to my cheeks. “Don’t you dare apologize. I forced that decision on you, and when we return to the cabin, to Kody, we’ll be carrying not just the coal but the bear’s meat and the promise of escape, of a future beyond this frozen prison.”
“I almost lost you.” I touch her face, mapping her sweet, angelic features. “I regret—”
“No. I was taken from my house, my husband, and my career. Should I regret that?” Her hand moves to my jaw and squeezes. “I fell in love in an endless night, in the heart of hell, where evil reigned. I lost my baby. We lost Wolf. But we found each other. No regrets, got it?”
“Give me your mouth.”
She leans up, closing her lips over mine, and the moment of remorse is gone. She’s alive and safe. With the coal, bear meat, pemmican, and flight manual, it’s enough to keep her that way.
We’re going to make it off the ground. After that? Well, I need to learn how to fly and land a plane.
“I feel bad.” She threads her hand through my hair. “My pants are bursting from overeating, and Kody is alone, counting his ration of beans and worrying himself sick because we haven’t returned. He’s probably imagining the worst, and in two days, he’ll think we’ve run out of food.”
“Kody is the toughest bastard I know. He doesn’t worry. He understands the numerous ways we can be delayed out here. He can probably see the blizzard on the horizon if it hasn’t already reached him. He also knows you’re in safe hands. He trusts me to protect you.”
“Do you trust him? With me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good.” She nestles closer against my chest. “Maybe that plane came back, and they’ll be waiting for us when we return.”
This woman. I wish I had her optimism. She’s an unsinkable buoy, no matter how rough it gets.
“Kody should be here,” she says, “feasting and snuggling with us. I miss him.”
“I know.” I try to push down the rising jealousy.
“Does that bother you?”
I pause, struggling to find the right words. “I would be lying if I said no.”
It bothers me more than I care to admit. It isn’t just about sharing her with my brother. It’s about sharing so much of her that he’ll steal her away.
I know I need to get over that. After all, he makes her happy. We both do. Yet, deep down, I can’t shake the possessiveness.
Maybe it’s because I can’t imagine loving two women. She’s it for me. My forever. I will never want another, even if she stops wanting me.
Perhaps another part of it stems from my twisted history with Gretchen. My first and only relationship was forced on me, butchering me with scars that run far deeper than the one on my stomach. It robbed me of control, leaving me broken and wounded. The memory of it still haunts, making me cling to the need for dominance in every aspect of my life.
Unlike me, Kody doesn’t carry the weight of such baggage. Frankie is his first female connection. First love. First kiss. First sexual encounter. She represents tenderness and benevolence, untainted by the shadows of the past. Despite his broody, rough exterior, my brother is innocent at heart. And eager. Of course, he is.
Because Frankie…she’s utterly perfect, the complete package, drawing us both in with her warm eyes and easy affection. It’s no wonder Kody is captivated by her.
But for me, it’s a constant battle between wanting her happiness and struggling with my own.
“I’m trying.” I stroke her silky hair. “My past with Gretchen made me jaded. But that’s just an excuse. I’m an asshole with control issues. You deserve someone who is open and willing to share like Kody—”
“Stop right there.” She lifts on an elbow. “You’re wrong. Except the part about being an asshole with control issues. But so is every alpha male on the planet. You have nothing on Monty.”
“Fucking great.” I grind my molars.
“Point is…alpha men don’t share. Kody’s willingness to do so is shocking. Mark my words, the moment we get out of here and enter society, his stance on that will change.”
“What do you mean?”
“When another man smiles at me at work or approaches me in a park, what will Kody do?”
“He’ll break the fucker’s face.”
“Yeah.” She sighs. “Then you’ll jump into the brawl and both go to jail for assault. We’ll work through an adjustment period to get you two acclimated to rules and social norms.”
“Nah. If a man goes near you, we’ll still break his face.” I take in her exasperated expression. “What’s the problem?”
“The problem is I don’t want you to escape this prison only to end up in another. Listen, Kody loves you and trusts you. He would never share me with someone who isn’t you. I don’t want that, either. I don’t even know how to manage two lovers. Never even considered such a thing. I’m as new to this as you are.” She edges closer, brushing her nose against mine. “I know what you’re feeling, Leo. I can’t fathom the thought of sharing you with another woman. Even if I had a sister, I couldn’t do it, no matter how much I loved her. The idea makes me murderous. What I’m asking from you is selfish and unexplored and could blow up in our faces and shatter our souls.”
Her admission loosens the tightness in my chest. I don’t know why, but her words give me permission to frame it in a different light, to study it from another perspective.
She’s right about sharing her with an outsider. Under no circumstances would Kody and I be okay with that. But keeping her between us? That’s safe. It’s right.
The three of us are connected in a rare and unbreakable relationship. We find our strength in one another, in the promise of a dawn beyond the darkness, a spring beyond the winter. Three hearts, entwined by circumstance, bound by necessity, and fueled by love, beat as one against every threat we face.
“If this is what you want…” I kiss her lips. “I won’t fight it.”
“Leo—”
“I’m not finished.” I taste her mouth again, lingering, savoring her breath. “The three of us…it’s the only thing that makes sense. But I’m going to fuck up.”
“Me, too.”
“How do we do this?”
“We’re already doing it.” She peers at me through her lashes. “There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but I think the basics apply. Trust your instincts. Set clear boundaries. Communicate openly. Manage jealousy. And have lots and lots of sex.”
“How much sex are we talking?”
“At least ten times a day. Probably more.”
Rock hard. I’m instantly, painfully, impossibly hard.
It’s been too long. Bathing with her, sharing her bed, breathing her air, watching her walk, hearing her voice, staring into her eyes, and not fucking her?
Torture.
But not unbearable.
Nothing is unbearable when I’m with her.
The way she looks right now, like she didn’t just spend the past twelve hours on her feet in the ruthless Alaskan wind, I want nothing more than to devour her.
I shouldn’t be getting worked up, but it’s her. She’s so tempting and sweet, and I’ve been carrying the taste of her mouth on my tongue all day. I’m desperate for more.
But first, I need to address something she probably hopes I’ve overlooked.
“You broke a promise today.” Keeping my gaze on hers, I curl a hand around her hipbone and hold it still.
“Hmm?”
“You swore you would remain in the cave. Did the bear chase you out?”
“Not exactly.”
“There are no signs of bears in these tunnels. Did it venture in here?”
“It could have.”
“But it didn’t.”
If she followed my order, the bear would’ve lumbered by without detecting her. Maybe it would’ve encountered me instead. Maybe not. I won’t lecture her about disobeying me. She learned a hard lesson. But I will drive home my point another way.
“Roll to your hands and knees.” I push to a sitting position, thrumming with anticipation. “Time for your punishment.”
