Dog Eat Dog, page 8
Any fate would be more merciful than the prospect of living a life without his precious Madeline.
Chapter 5
Evelyn stood a short distance away from the man she had only just come to know as Dr. Will Finch. It was so strange to her how life now had a way of throwing people together these days, under these circumstances. Everyone seemed to be in varying stages of tiredness and shock, especially the good doctor. She knew it was not every day that a man was put in a situation where he had to make the heart-wrenching decision to put his own wife out of her misery. And, from the sound of what was going on in that room, she was certainly in misery. But nothing would rival the misery he was probably experiencing now from the mere trauma of having to look into the eyes of the woman he once knew as his loving wife, who had been transformed by this terrible disease into a raving aggressive lunatic. Not only, having to look her in the eyes and take on the full weight of the realization that she was no longer in there, but then to have to plunge a sharp object into her skull on top of that. Evelyn shuddered to herself at the very thought of having to do something like that to someone she loved, and she hoped she would never have to be put in that position. Even though, she was pretty certain that more than likely life would find a way to make her have to do the same thing eventually if this thing were to carry on as eternally as it threatened to at this point in time.
She observed the rest of her crew that sat in various places on what had once been the running track that ran around the top of the gym. She was not sure if their indifference to the barking and snarling beasts that roamed about on the gymnasium floor only a few feet below them was due to their exhaustion or the fact that they were used to living this way now. Either way, she was very proud of them for keeping their cool; because she was certainly unsure of how she was remaining so calm. She could only guess that it was because she felt obligated to behave stronger than she actually believed she was for their sake, and now for the new addition to their skeleton crew, the widower doctor Finch.
Evelyn walked over to the small case of bottled water sitting against the wall and pulled out a bottle. She took it over to doctor Finch and offered it to him before sitting down on the ice chest next to him as he sat on the floor with his head in his hands. He raised a weary maddened expression up to meet the best kind gaze that she could muster. She wasn’t really sure how to react or what to say in this situation. How do you comfort someone who has just had to kill their wife for the sake of their safety? Or had to put them down like some kind of rabid animal? These were things that they did not teach you in sensitivity training, and these situations certainly didn’t come with an instruction manual.
Will let out a breath as if he was trying to find the right words to say to her, but they didn’t come right away. They sat there in awkward silence for a while, and Evelyn listened to the slight whirring and static that came from the two-way channel radio that Patrick was fiddling with in the distance trying to contact someone, anyone, who could give them any clue as to what they should do next. If only she had thought of some kind of contingency plan before all of this had taken place, they would most likely be out of there by now and on their way to somewhere safer, where they would at least have some kind of a fighting chance at survival. Even if it only bought them another day, at least Evelyn could reassure herself that she tried her best to do what she now felt more than ever was her duty to them and the rest of humanity, preserve their future and survival.
“I’m sorry,” Will finally uttered, breaking the human silence. For it was definitely not silent on the floor below them. He let out a heavy breath and roughly ran his long fingers through sandy brown sun-kissed hair, that had been dulled by the sweat of excursion and soot from the fire. The smoke had dirtied his hands and made the condition of his hair even worse as well as his face while he tried to comfort himself by vigorously rubbing his stubble covered jawline and chin. “I really shouldn’t have done that… put the rest of you at risk that way.”
“What do you mean?” Evelyn asked, cocking her head to the side to try and get a better look into his eyes which he kept staring forward into the middle distance as he seemed to replay all of the horrific events in his mind’s theater.
“Making you go down there… take me down there to see her, but I had to. I had to see it for myself. I should have just listened to what you told me, but I just couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t believe it unless I clapped my own eyes on her. There had to be a way to save her,” Will responded in a tone like he was scolding himself in his mind as he spoke to Evelyn.
“Hey, you can’t think like that. It certainly doesn’t help. This is something I have had to get a crash course on in the last few weeks.” Evelyn tried her best to encourage him out of the funk he was obviously spiraling into.
“I know it’s not healthy…” he let out another sigh and dropped his head between his raised knees momentarily before looking up again. This time he actually turned his gaze towards her. It was desperate and frazzled, and Evelyn suddenly felt that she was definitely more comfortable with him continuing to stare off into the middle of no man’s land than directly into her eyes. But she couldn’t look away, it was as if the desperation and pain of his humanity were keeping her there, unable to avert her eyes. She could only imagine the expression on her own face, and she hoped that it was as strong as he needed it to be.
“How do you do it? I’m sure you have had to do this before. How do you move on from something like this as you do, and still remain so adjusted?” Will asked like a man pleading for a drink of water or someone to pull him into their life raft.
“Well, to be perfectly honest with you, what you did today was something a little different from what I have had to do. I mean, I have had to put a few people out of their misery, so to speak, but they were all people I barely knew… colleagues. So, I guess you could say it was a little easier for me to seem so distant or indifferent,” Evelyn answered the best way she knew how at this moment.
“Ah, I see, but you must have felt something surely. I mean, you were having to kill a human being,” Will retorted, trying to justify the situation to himself, still in a somewhat pleading tone. “I’m a doctor, for god’s sake, I took an oath to first do no harm… ugh.” He looked away again for a moment, filling Evelyn with an overwhelming sense of relief now that his eyes were no longer staring so soul searchingly into her own.
She let out a slight sigh of her own before responding, she needed to collect her thoughts first and come up with an answer she felt would be most effective for him in his desperate mental situation. “I suppose really the only way that I have been able to really justify these acts to myself has been that I see them really as acts of kindness. As well as a necessity. It is better that we put them down before they make it to the point where they are no longer human. Most everyone that died here were from the fact that they had been bitten and they did not want to allow themselves to make it to that part of the disease. They knew very well the horrors that awaited them, as did we. So, we mercifully helped them to pass away before they lost all semblance of their humanity. For we were not properly equipped to do anything else, and they would have surely put the rest of us at risk. It’s as simple as that. There were, and still are, other lives to consider. Its a matter of understanding where your priorities lie, and right now the only priority I am concerning myself with is that of the survival of my students.” Evelyn felt a well of confidence build within herself as these words passed from her lips. She had never really had to explain her reasoning to anyone else other than herself up until now. Everything was becoming more real and clear to her now, she felt now she fully understood the gravity of her responsibilities and why she must ensure her own survival in order to preserve theirs; those around her who mattered most.
Will grunted what Evelyn could only guess was a response as his face took on a thoughtful expression. She could tell he was trying to digest what she was saying as well as still trying his dead level best to process the entire situation and the previous events. She wished there was more she could do to help him reach the same level of mental and emotional clarity that she had made it to, but she knew that everyone had to go at their own pace. Even though, that meant much of the time that they were doomed to slog through the sludge of heavy emotional baggage and possible night terrors to get there. Some being driven mad merely by the effects that they saw the disease have on those around them rather than actually contracting it themselves. The phrase ‘mental illness is real’ had taken on a completely different meaning and context for her now and she began to wonder how come she had not been more affected by the likes of PTSD by now. Maybe she was being more affected by it than she thought and the reason she was not more aware was the fact that she was standing in the eye of its storm, going through the center of it herself. Either way, it was a blessing in disguise and this ignorance, if that were the case, was most certainly blissful. It was most certainly better to put off such descents into a mental or nervous break down until they were somewhere safer, where she would have time to get over it without endangering everyone else’s lives around her.
“So, how do you suppose we move on from here? You seem to be the woman with all of the answers,” Will finally spoke up again, after another long pause. He was looking at her again.
Evelyn let out a bit of a laugh. She wished that what he had said was true. “If only that were the case.” The words seemed to slip out without her having any control over them, and she immediately wished that she had not said them. Especially, after the disconcerted and slightly disappointed look that crossed his eyes when he heard them. “Well, that is, we thought we would be able to hold out here for a while because of the size and formidability of the building which has obviously been compromised. I know I should have come up with some sort of contingency plan, considering I am usually someone who is a little more prepared. But they certainly don’t prepare you on how to take action in these kind of situations when they are training you to be a teacher.”
“Or a doctor, for that matter,” Will added with an understanding nod of his entire head. “Well, we certainly can’t stay here. It’s only a matter of time before they figure out a way to get up here, I know that sounds stupid…”
“No, not at all,” Evelyn reassured him as she grimaced at the growing mass of canine bodies in the gymnasium below them. “It is really almost as if they grow in intelligence rather along with the madness and voracious need to feed, or bite really.”
“Not to mention, it will only be a matter of time before they starve us out up here, or we are overwhelmed by the smell of our body odor as well as other bodily functions. I know it’s not a pleasant thing to think about but…” Will began to explain.
“But, it’s the truth, and someone had to say it. I know that’s what we all must be thinking, or fearing rather,” Evelyn completed his verbal thought while she tried to wrack her brain for some kind of a logical solution to their predicament.
The gym took on a slightly different atmosphere to Evelyn as the colors around her seemed to change. It startled her a little bit more than she felt it should have when she realized the difference in hue was from the young slices of creeping daylight peaking through the stripes of skylight windows in the ceiling. The new morning used to fill her with so much hope, but not really anymore. The only solace she took was that they had made it to another day and that they were going to be able to at least live a portion of it, hopefully. This showed her just how much she was only living moment to moment right now and that in a way frightened her more as she felt her previous human innocence continuing to slip away from her in the ever-growing current of cynicism.
“Yes, yes… Fort Carson, you’re coming in loud and clear,” Evelyn heard Patrick say just a few feet away from her as he sat in the floor with his radio. He had obviously found a connection that worked, and it sounded promising. Hope returned to her, and she hoped that it would not be deferred as it had so many times in the recent past.
“We are eight survivors held up here at the Boulder High School. Is there a way you could send a convoy to come and retrieve us?” Patrick asked, stopping to listen to what only sounded like garbled unintelligible verbiage to Evelyn on the outside of his headphones from the distance at which she sat. She hoped that the answer would be yes, because Fort Carson meant military and they would certainly be able to get them there safely.
“I… I understand, sir. We’ll see what we can do. Thank you, over an out,” Patrick responded one last time before replacing the receiving radio to his designated place on his machine.
“What did they say, Patrick? That didn’t sound too encouraging, are they coming for us?” Evelyn asked, she thought if maybe she believed hard enough that his response would not be what she feared it to be.
“Well, it’s good, but not great,” Patrick began his response.
“Okay, what do you mean?” Evelyn asked cautiously.
“What I mean is, they say that they have plenty of room for us, but they cannot spare any vehicles to collect us as they are spent doing that for others right now. Apparently, the hospital was overrun last night as well…” Patrick’s exposition was briefly interrupted by a loud grown from the doctor still sitting beside Evelyn, and the sound of his distress set all the dogs below them to growling and howling as loud as they could, reminding them all of the desperateness of their predicament.
“But, they said that if we could find some way to get there on our own, or at least meet them halfway, they will be able to receive us,” Patrick finished.
Evelyn did not take much comfort in these words as she was not completely sure how they would go about even meeting them halfway. And, her face was obviously not using its inside voice just then because she saw Patrick take her expression into consideration as he began to formulate a plan himself. Or at least she hoped that is what he was doing.
“Now, don’t look so glum yet, Evelyn. I may have a solution. It’s a little risky, but it just might work, if you’re up for letting us try it,” Patrick offered, with a slight curl of his lips and the glint of a smile in his eyes.
“Right now, I think we would be willing to try anything,” piped in the doctor, causing Evelyn to look in his direction for a second.
“Yeah, shoot,” Evelyn added.
“Alright, you know how we have all of those school buses out there?” Patrick started.
“Yes, what about them?” Evelyn asked.
“Well, I have been thinking about this since last night, and I think I might have a way for us to at least meet them at the halfway point between here and there. If we could just wait a little bit until the sun is a little hotter, so that we don’t really have to deal with these guys,” he motioned to the squirming beasts below them. “Because you know how they don’t really like to operate during the day, I know that is not always the case, but their numbers seem to be less enough that we might have a chance to make it to one of the buses in enough time to drive out of here to somewhere more remote, where they can pick us up,” Patrick finished the second part of his explanation.
Evelyn knew deep down that this was most likely their only option for survival right now. It was not exactly her favorite plan, and it did seem to be a lot riskier than she would have liked. But they really didn’t have a choice right now.
“Alright, well I guess we will go with that then. Is everyone okay with that?” Evelyn asked the group. They all responded practically in unison that they agreed, as if they really had any other choice. She wasn’t even sure really why she had bothered asking, but she figured she would at least be polite, she guessed that is what it was. “So what do you need from us to make this happen?” she asked Patrick.
“I am going to need to volunteer at least two people to go out and retrieve some fuel for the bus that we choose to take. Everyone is going to have to be on standby and ready to move as soon as they get back, because we need to be prepared to only have a matter of minutes… seconds even to make it out of here. I know that’s not the most comforting thought, but its the truth. It’s better to be quick and alive than a second too slow and dead… or worse,” Patrick answered.
“You do have a point there, son,” Will injected. “So, do you need me to go out with them to get the fuel?” he offered.
“No, that’ll be okay doc, we can do it,” Daniel stood up from his criss-cross seated position on the floor behind Patrick, and he patted a gloved hand on his small shoulder. “Well, maybe not ‘we’, because you’re one of the brains in the operation. Me and one of the others will do it. Beth, you haven’t been out in a little while…” Daniel looked over to her.
“Oh, so what I’m expendable now?” Beth quipped with a snide wrinkle of her nose.
“That’s not what I said, and you know it,” Daniel countered. “Maybe, I should have asked one of the others who aren’t chicken.”
“I’m not chicken,” she defended, getting to her feet as well. “I’ll go with you, even if it’s only to show you that I can probably do it better than you can, big man.”
“Well, I’m glad that’s settled,” expressed Patrick. “So, you two go ahead and get up onto the roof and give us an idea of what we are looking at before you go.”
“You got it, little bro,” Daniel said with a final reassuring pat of Patrick’s back. “Let’s go, Beth,” he motioned for her to follow him with a drop the hammer motion of his arm.
“Yes, sir, mister army man, sir,” Beth responded glibly, dragging her feet as she gathered her weapon and followed behind his bulky towering frame.
After the two of them departed, it was not long before the rest of them made their way in shifts through the vents with what supplies they could fit into the ducts to the roof above. Evelyn watched them all carefully, while she had the others take turns looking out for patrolling canines, as they also went in shifts to deliver said supplies to the designated bus. She was sure to relay the specific number to Daniel and Beth, so that they would know which one to bring the fuel back to. She also kept one eye on the doctor, as she was still quite concerned about his condition after what he had just so recently been through.
