Lunatic, page 10
“Jesus. Did I marry a Mulvaney or join a cult?”
“Yes,” Archer said. “And that’s not all. The feelings faction of the family—Noah, Zane, and Felix—will love bomb you until you want to scream, and then they will use that to make you one of them. Lucas and Jericho have made it out unscathed for the moment, but I promise you, you can’t hold out forever. My family is like an invasive type of vegetation. They…creep up on you.”
“I—” Mac wasn’t sure what to say. “Okay.”
The curtain yanked open and a tiny brunette in a pencil skirt and white button-down shirt popped into the cabin, her eyes going wide when she saw Archer straddling Mac with Mac’s hands planted on Archer’s ass. “Oh, my—I’m so sorry. I—”
“What is it, love?” Archer asked, making no attempt to leave Mac’s lap. Which was fine with him.
“I’m so sorry, Mr. Mulvaney. Or is it Shepherd now? Or do you hyphenate?” she babbled.
Archer gave her a patient smile. “Did you need something?”
“Mr. Mulvaney—” She paused again, her face screwing into one of concentration often saved for math or disarming nuclear weapons. “Um, the older Mr. Mulvaney, I mean. Your father, um, Thomas…”
“I’m familiar with him, yes,” Archer teased. “What about him?”
She took a deep breath and blew it out. “He said he’d be meeting you at the tarmac.”
Archer frowned, looking around for his phone, only then remembering that he’d switched it into airplane mode in an attempt to avoid his family. “Ah, yes. Thank you.”
She hesitated still, her gaze creeping over the two of them with interest, before saying, “Is there anything I can do for you? B-Both of you? Or either of you?”
Mac’s brow shot up, a slow smirk spreading across his face. “Like what, exactly?”
She seemed to snap out of whatever headspace she’d been in a moment ago. “Would you care for some food or something to drink?”
“No, I think we’re good,” Mac said.
“Tell the others not to disturb us until we’re descending? Thank you.”
She bobbed her head, backing away like she was addressing royalty and couldn’t afford to turn her back on them.
“Did she just try to shoot her shot with the both of us?” Mac asked, amused.
“Mm. I think so, yes. What a curious little creature she is,” Archer said, then dismissed her to settle himself better over Mac, wiggling until they were touching in all the right places.
“Do not start something you don’t plan on finishing, Katniss,” Mac warned.
Archer rocked himself against Mac. “Now where’s the fun in that?”
Mac snagged Archer’s wrists and dragged them behind his back, then captured his mouth in a kiss that got progressively dirtier as it went on. When they finally separated, Mac wrapped his arms around Archer then deposited him into his own seat. “None of that. I’m not going to meet Thomas at the airport having freshly defiled his son.”
“Tease,” Archer pouted.
“Oh, please,” Mac said, leaning in to nose at the spot behind his ear. “You love holding out on me.” His tongue darted out to lick over his pulse. “You love making me work for it.” He bit the shell of his ear. “ I love it, too.” He slid his hand between Archer’s legs, his thumb tracing his cock. “I love when you pretend to resist, when you pretend you don’t want me, even when I can fucking smell it on you. It makes it so much hotter when I’m buried inside you and you’re clawing at my back panting my name.” He removed his hand and sat back. “We’ll finish this discussion tonight.”
“I fucking hate you right now,” Archer growled, the outline of his erection obvious.
Mac chuckled. “Yeah, but you’ll be loving me later.”
Thomas’s car was waiting on the tarmac when they touched down. Archer did his best to ignore the ache in his head but slid his sunglasses in place in a poor attempt to avoid the shock of the UV light on his already throbbing eyeballs. He really wished he wasn’t having this conversation with his father while hungover, but he could almost hear Thomas telling him that if he didn’t like the situation then he shouldn’t have gotten drunk in the first place.
When Mac grabbed Archer’s hand and threaded their fingers together as they left the plane, he didn’t pull away. Mac seemed nervous. He had a right to be. The problem was, Mac was likely worrying about all the wrong things. He was worried about the wrath of Thomas, but that wouldn’t fall on Mac. That was all on Archer.
What Mac should have worried about was meeting the other Mulvaneys. That would be a trial by fire—one Mac seemed certain he could handle. But that was because he had experience with Shep. But Shep was one high-functioning sociopath. The Mulvaneys were an army of overbearingly invasive psychopaths who had zero boundaries when it came to hazing new family members. They could be overwhelming in large numbers.
But if they were going to run target acquisition for a school for psychopathic Gen Zs, this was as good a test as any. Boone. Shit. He needed to at least text the man and apologize for them running off and missing a meeting. He didn’t want any conflict with the instructors before they even started. The most important thing about the Watch was ensuring a united front. Psychopaths were excellent at finding chinks in armor and exploiting them. But that was a problem for another day.
The driver waiting outside the car rushed to open the limo door as soon as they were close. Archer crawled in first, eyes going wide when he realized his father wasn’t alone. Mac fell into the seat behind him, his face falling. How had Molly Shepherd beat them both to Thomas?
“Mom,” Mac said with a stilted nod. “When did you get here?”
Though she was older than Thomas, Mac’s mother looked shockingly young when she wasn’t dressed for business meetings. She currently wore jeans, a sweater, and a pair of well-worn converse sneakers, her red hair flowing over her shoulders.
Sitting beside Thomas with his tailored dress pants and zip-front cashmere pullover, she looked almost like a college student. Archer wasn’t sure if it was genetics or a good plastic surgeon, but given how Mac was aging like fine wine, Archer imagined it was the former.
Molly gave him a grim look. “Three hours after this hit the newsfeed, Katie gleefully called me asking if I’d heard from you and then let me know that I’d apparently inherited another son-in-law overnight.” Molly examined Archer. “I have to admit, I honestly wasn’t sure you’d ever get married. I certainly didn’t see you settling down with a Mulvaney.”
Archer could feel Mac deflate beside him. “Sorry.”
“What were you two thinking?” Thomas asked, shaking his head. “Do you have any idea the shitstorm this has caused?”
Archer still wasn’t sure what the big deal was. In the grand scheme of his past hijinks, this probably didn’t even make the top ten. He didn’t understand why the rest of the world would give a shit that he or Mac were married.
“I get that it caused a stir because the media thought it was Jaynie, but I don’t get what the big deal is? We’re adults. We’re legally allowed to marry each other,” Mac said, like he was reading Archer’s mind. “Like, who cares?”
“Given my many other ‘drunken’ escapades, this one seems fairly innocuous, no?” Archer asked, his hand sliding over Mac’s and squeezing without thought.
Molly and Thomas both appeared to hone in on the gesture as a single unit before looking at each other. When Archer tried to remove his hand, Mac held firm, manipulating their arms until their fingers were once more intertwined.
“Have—” Molly cut herself off, looking once more at Thomas then back again. “Have you actually been…dating?”
Archer looked to Mac, who flushed straight to the tips of his ears. He’d never seen Mac embarrassed before. It was weirdly adorable. When Archer continued to look at him, he shrugged like he was telling Archer he wasn’t touching the question.
Archer sighed. “We’ve been…seeing each other for months. We just didn’t want to put a label on it.”
That wasn’t entirely the truth, but Archer didn’t think it was necessary to tell their parents he’d been letting Mac bang him like a screen door in a hurricane. It didn’t seem conducive to furthering discussions.
Still, Molly scrutinized her son. “Is this true?”
Mac leaned his weight against Archer. “Yeah. We’ve been…close…since the first time we met for the initial Project Watchtower meeting.”
About as close as two people could be. Though, technically, they’d met the evening before, with neither of them having any idea who the other person was. But that hardly seemed relevant. Truthfully, none of this seemed relevant. Mac and Archer were grown men. He didn’t see how this was really anybody else’s business. But he didn’t say any of that.
“What do you need us to do?” Archer asked. “To fix this?”
“I suppose that depends on whether this wedding was intentional.” Thomas grimaced. “Based on the numerous encounters and videos floating around the internet, it appears you two were completely…”
“Hammered,” Molly finished.
“That,” Thomas agreed. “Do you intend to stay married, or are you looking to have this annulled? The attorney says we can have it done in—”
“No annulment,” Mac said, voice firm. “I’ll sign a prenup or whatever you want, but that’s it.”
Archer looked at Mac, shock rocketing through him at the conviction in his voice. Their parents seemed equally stunned. Had Mac been thinking that Thomas or Molly might demand they annul the marriage? That just wasn’t Thomas’s style. Once people knew their secret, Thomas would prefer they were tied to the family for life. Of course, Mac had always known their secret, so the circumstances were much different.
“Archer?” Thomas asked.
The best thing they could do for each other was get this annulled. They knew next to nothing about each other in the grand scheme of things. Archer didn’t know Mac’s favorite color. Hell, they’d never even slept in the same bed together sober. The smartest thing they could do was annul the marriage and just date. See if they were compatible. See if Mac could handle living a double life with Archer. Noah always said marrying a Mulvaney was a full-time job. It came with constant lies, cover-ups, lying to cops, lying to everybody. But being married to Archer required that Mac also know how to lie to his brothers for him. That was a lot to ask of someone without first warning them.
Still, when he opened his mouth to say as much, what came out was, “Yeah, what he said. We’re not getting divorced.”
Thomas rubbed his bottom lip for a moment like he was deep in thought. “Okay, then,” he said, as if the matter was settled. “I’ll contact the publicist and let her know this wasn’t a drunken fluke, that the two of you have been dating for a while and are very much in love. I’ll say you met on a trip to Vegas months ago and have been dating ever since. Now that the world knows you haven’t absconded with the husband of an A-list celebrity, it will likely die down quickly. But that’s only one of the problems we’re dealing with right now.”
Molly nodded. “Yes, obviously the primary matter now is the Watch. Kendrick has some concerns about the two of you heading the project as a married couple. He thinks it will affect your judgment.”
“I don’t see how?” Mac asked. “As we said, we’ve been together for months and it hasn’t affected our ability to do our job. Our constant arguing is part of the reason it’s taking forever to nail down the staffing and first year attendees.”
Archer nodded. “I’m honestly surprised Boone hasn’t tried to shoot one or both of us by now.”
Molly appeared to mull it over, finally nodding. “I’ll smooth things over with Kendrick, but it’s likely going to cost me something. He never misses an opportunity to try to force his way deeper into the project.”
“How do you plan on handling this with your brothers?” Thomas asked.
Archer frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how are you planning on explaining your surprise husband to them? As far as they knew, you were single. Not a word of Mac this whole time. Now, you’re married. Telling them this is a drunken fluke seems disrespectful if you intend to stay married. Do you plan on keeping the same cover story you’re telling the rest of the world? You’ve been dating in secret since meeting in Vegas?”
Archer truly didn’t care what his brothers thought or why he even needed to explain it to them, but he nodded. “I’ll tell them whatever you like.”
Molly and Thomas looked at each other like they had several more questions for the two of them, but then Molly sighed. “Then I guess we can move on to the most important issue.” She looked at her son. “The one you’ve been ignoring for months. We need to figure out who it is that wants you dead and why. And we somehow have to do it in less than a week or Kendrick is going to come down on all of us for delaying Project Watchtower.”
Thomas and Molly insisted on stopping for lunch at a well-known restaurant in the area, letting Archer and Mac know it was for the cameras, so they better play their parts. Looking hungover and in love was easy enough for Archer. He was pretty sure he was both. Though, he had no idea what the latter felt like or if he were truly even capable of such a thing.
Either way, by the time they made it to the mansion, some of Mac’s stress seemed to have dissipated, with his shoulders no longer sitting up around his ears.
Once they were through the front doors, Thomas escorted Molly to the war room while Mac and Archer lingered behind.
“Are you alright?” Archer asked once they were out of earshot.
Mac sighed. “I’m fine. Just hungover. And tired of feeling like I’m being hunted. Nothing about this makes any sense.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Archer promised, smacking a kiss on the back of Mac’s hand before dragging him along to catch up with their parents, refusing to look back to see what Mac had thought of Archer’s impulsive gesture.
He stopped short inside the war room, Mac plowing into him hard from behind. But he barely noticed. He was focused on the room. The entire family sat inside. All of them. Well, not Aiden, but he’d stopped calling them his family a while ago. But everybody else was in attendance…even Cricket. What the hell?
There wasn’t a single empty seat. Zane and Felix sat cross-legged on top of the conference room table along with Cricket. Noah sat in Adam’s lap. The others had their own seats but had been forced to crowd together to make sure everybody fit around the large surface. This was going to be a goddamn circus.
“What are you all doing here?” Thomas asked warily. “I didn’t call a meeting.”
“We know,” Noah said. “That’s why we’re so suspicious.”
Thomas eyed Noah. “Why would I need to call a meeting?”
Noah gave Thomas an incredulous look, but it was Asa who spoke. “Archer just married a stranger via Elvis impersonator without a prenup. One would think that would at least get us an invite to the mansion for a cover story party. But you haven't contacted a single soul.”
“Yeah, when Felix and I got blood all over that hotel room, there was a meeting,” Avi reminded him.
“And when I kidnapped Zane and chained him to the radiator,” Asa said.
“Or when August decided to break into Lucas’s house and stab himself…conversations were had. Why does he get a free pass?” Noah asked.
Molly Shepherd took a step closer to her son as if worried they’d been lured there as some sort of human sacrifice, but Mac simply looked amused. “Sounds like our wedding was nothing compared to your family’s bizarre courting rituals,” he murmured.
Thomas made a disgusted noise. “How did you all even know we’d be here?” When nobody spoke, Thomas’s gaze floated to the speaker in the center of the table. “Calliope?”
There was a moment’s hesitation, then a meek, “Yeah?”
“Did you tell them we’d be here for a meeting?” Thomas asked.
Calliope made a noncommittal sound. “I…may have mentioned it?”
Thomas shook his head. “Archer and Mac have been dating for months. They just made it official sooner than expected.”
“So, you knew they were dating?” Atticus asked, tilting his head and studying Thomas like he studied a slide under a microscope.
“Yeah, of course. Molly and I both did.”
“Is she Molly?” Zane asked, pointing.
Thomas flushed, realizing his error. “Allow me to introduce Mac’s mother, Molly Shepherd.”
“Dr. Molly Shepherd?” Avi asked.
“The psychopath whisperer,” Lucas said, sounding slightly enamored of her.
“I thought I was the psychopath whisperer,” Noah said grumpily.
“You are,” Adam assured him, smacking a kiss on his cheek.
Archer watched as August nudged Lucas, giving a slight head jerk in the woman’s direction. Lucas lurched to his feet, crossing the room and offering the woman his hand.
Before Molly could offer hers in return, Archer slapped his brother-in-law’s hand away. “Don’t touch him. It’s a trap. He’s just going to try to weasel his way into your head and poke around a bit.”
“Oh, you must be Lucas, the psychic,” she said, not unkindly.
He nodded. “Nice to meet you.” To Archer, he said, “I wouldn’t poke around in a stranger’s head without permission.”
Archer gave him a look. “You would if August asked you to.”
Lucas flushed but said nothing, hurrying back to the seat beside his husband. Fucking busted. This wasn’t a family meeting, it was a fucking ambush and he and Mac were pinned down.
“Now that introductions have been made,” Thomas said. “You can all go home. Bye.”
Nobody moved. Asa and Avi crossed their arms over their chests in an eerily syncopated manner, but nobody spoke. Everybody just sat there in silence, appearing to size each other up.
Finally, Atticus said, “Yeah, no. I think we should stay. We have more questions. A lot more.”
Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment before schooling his features into a patient look. “Such as?”
