“It’s the only kind of warrior soul impossible to harvest. Lokians always refuse the lure of either Odin’s Valhalla or Freyja’s Fólkvangr, choosing oblivion instead.”

  He frowned, digesting this. “We never knew where Lokians went when they died, but they sure as hell wouldn’t go to Valhalla or Fólkvangr and help that bastard and bitch prepare for Raganrok.”

  She gave a difficult nod. “They said I would be the one to change that, bring the first Lokian to Fólkvangr, because of my mortality. No Lokian would be on his guard when he met me, making it possible to come close, fulfill what no other Valkyrie has ever been able to. Freyja believes having a Lokian’s soul would tip the odds in her favor in her eternal conflict with Odin and Loki.”

  Bitterness burst in his eyes. “So you searched out not only any Lokian but an Original. I bet that will gain you extra points with your goddess.”

  “She’s not my goddess,” she protested. “I don’t know who the hell she is. I didn’t even believe most of what they told me, not even when it explained so much of the weirdness in my life. I didn’t fully believe them until I saw you.”

  “And you realized what I was on sight. That is why you approached me, why you followed me.”

  “I had no clue what you were until I saw you shift.”

  “Are you pretending that you were attracted to me for real?”

  “Why do you find that hard to believe? You took one look at me and wanted me, too.”

  “I was playing into your trap like the gullible mark you managed to make me.” She shook her head, but he pressed on. “But why didn’t you want me to die? Your mission would have been accomplished….” Words died on his lips, a new suspicion blossoming in his eyes, like blood from a fresh stab. “But that wouldn’t have served your purpose, would it? A Valkyrie can only take a soul if its owner volunteers it. So has everything since then been part of a plan to get me to trust you, to lose my mind over you, so I’d make you a willing offer of my soul? Was it all to prolong your time with me so you’d be there when I finally managed to kill myself?”

  “If I wanted to do that, why did I leave that first night? Then the second? How could I have known you’d look for me?”

  “Are you kidding? You had me by the balls after one look and you knew it. Dangling your carrot made me go to any lengths to have you, twisted me into too many knots to notice anything was wrong.”

  She gaped at him in mounting horror. “Don’t you see the gaping plot holes in this scenario you’re concocting?”

  “I see only the irony. That you didn’t realize you didn’t have to go to these lengths. I went out to die that night. And with the way I felt about you already, I would have given you my soul. And to think it was the sight of you that made me cling to my soul, so I could protect you with it.”

  His agony mutilated her. “God, Vidar, don’t saddle me with more than I’m guilty of. I told you the facts you demanded, which I had no part in. There’s still my side of it all.”

  His huff was undiluted dejection. “Should be interesting.”

  “It isn’t. It’s just the truth. When I saw you, all I knew was that you were the only man I’d ever wanted on sight. Then I rushed to help you, but I thought I was too late, that they’d kill you. I threw myself into the middle of the fight even when I thought they’d kill me, too. If you hadn’t turned out to be far stronger than what they or I expected, they would have killed me. You sensed I was a mortal, and I am. I have no powers left beyond, allegedly, the soul-harvesting one, which I’ve never used consciously.

  “Afterward, realizations swamped me. Everything my aunts told me was true. I ran because I was afraid you would realize what I was. I couldn’t bear to see your hunger turn into revulsion.

  “But I went out of my mind worrying you wouldn’t heal, or that you would but I’d never find you again. I went back the next night praying that you would, too, told myself if you did, I’d have just one night with you. I was afraid that if we had more, I’d put you in danger. But you came after me, and I was weak, kept taking one more day, one more week. Then today I discovered my aunts pushed me to go to that nightclub, opened doors for me there. But my attraction to you was all me. I loved you…love you with all of me.”

  Tears were a steady stream now, and it felt as if her life force were hemorrhaging.

  “I only wanted to have whatever time I could with you, then leave you with fond memories. But to prolong my time with you, I blinded myself to the dangers and I ended up losing you now, not later, and erasing anything beautiful you ever felt for me. My only consolation is that however much you hate me now, you will live forever, and in what will be a blink to you, I will be dead. And you’ll forget me. Or if you ever remember me, it’ll be with mild pity when you look back and realize that being with you, loving you, was the only real life I ever had.”

  Chapter Nine

  Kara teetered around, sent a tear, tiny and cold, splashing on Vidar’s hand. It felt as if it was a torrent of molten lead, eating him through, body and mind.

  Moments later, he heard her bedroom door close with a defeated, final click.

  He could have sat there forever, buried under the avalanche of realizations, his whole being gripped in a maelstrom of agony.

  After what felt an eternity, he rose, went after her.

  On his entry, she jerked up from a ball of misery. She looked at him with eyes as bruised as his very soul felt.

  He braced one knee on the bed, stabbed his aching fingers into her fiery locks, cupped her precious head. “Being with you, loving you, has been the only real life I’ve had, too. And that when I remember every minute of the eternity I lived before I found you.”

  “Vidar…”

  He devoured her choking surprise, groaned into her trembling lips. “I love you, Kara. I far more than love you. And I believe you. I believe in you. I was never into worship, but I worship you. You’re the reason I’m alive today, the only reason I ever wanted to really live. And now I realize what Loki meant when he told me death has to be my heart’s desire. Now it is.”

  She jerked hard. “What the hell do you mean?”

  “I mean I’ll go out tonight to die in battle.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me. And I will give you my soul. I’ve lived too long, have known no happiness until you came into my life. Now it is my heart’s desire to pay with the soul you ignited inside me so you’ll live forever free.”

  After a long moment of horrified shock, she gritted out, “Okay, tell me this—are you nuts? You want to buy my alleged immortality with yours, the bona fide thing? And you think for a second I will agree to this insanity because…?”

  “Because if your aunts give up on your cooperation, they’ll use another Valkyrie to get my soul. And then both of us will lose everything.”

  “Remember the part about willingly volunteering your soul? If they could have used another Valkyrie, they would have long ago.”

  “And now that they know what you mean to me, they can. They’ll make me an offer I can’t refuse. Your life for mine. And for you, I will let anyone take my soul and anything else I have anywhere.”

  “See?” she cried, eyes filling. “I am your Achilles’ heel!”

  He stoked her head lovingly. “And it’s my pride and privilege to have you as my fatal weakness.”

  Two fat tears arrowed down her trembling cheeks. “And in which moron’s book is my life more important than yours? I’m the one who’s mortal and who’ll die, anyway, so leave it at that. I always feared something exactly like this happening, but now that it did, and all’s out in the open, just give me your word you won’t let anyone use me to blackmail you, and let’s live as long as we can together. I have many good years left.”

  He shook his head. “We had the time we had together because your aunts were waiting for you to fulfill your mission. Now that they know you won’t, we’re out of time. One of us will die. And in this moron’s book, your life is more important than mine.”

  She smacked him, in tears again. “Stop it. Just stop it.”

  He captured her hands, dragged her into a fierce embrace. “Let me love you the best I know how, my Kara. You’ve suffered too much in your existence, and I am the only one who has the power to end your suffering. How can you possibly ask me not to do it? How can you think I’ll let you fall into that sadist’s hands?”

  She shook her head frantically. “I’ll opt for oblivion. Ceasing to exist isn’t such a bum deal. I wouldn’t know if it is.”

  “But oblivion isn’t ceasing to exist. You’d know, and you’d go mad, every single second. It’s not a reprieve. I have firsthand accounts from a few…acquaintances who’ve come back from there. While I would be their trophy Lokian in Fólkvangr, would probably be treated as a prize. It might not be my afterlife of choice, but the worst of it is that I’ll have a boss I hate.”

  “And you want me to live forever to do what? I wouldn’t even want a mortal lifespan without you. No life would be any life without you.”

  “You’ll find plenty of worthy causes to fill your time. And I’ll live on inside you. I would have died a meaningless death if you hadn’t saved me. Now my death will serve an ultimate purpose—your eternity and freedom.”

  “No, Vidar,” she wailed. “I won’t let you do it.”

  “You have to, my beloved Kara. It’s the only way.”

  Vidar cast the silent Kara a sideways glance.

  She sat beside him in the car, looking ahead into the night, her eyes unseeing, her lips clamped together.

  At least she was no longer weeping.

  He wished he could have had more time with her. But he knew the Dísir. Sigrun had pretended nonchalance as she’d left Kara, but he’d felt her chagrin. And her fear. She knew Kara wouldn’t come through and dreaded Freyja’s reaction. They wouldn’t have left them in peace another day, would have forced his hand.

  And like Kara had said, once she was immortal again, the pain she was feeling now would fade. It never would have for him, but he hoped it would for her.

  He regretted only having to inflict this final injury on her.

  He was taking her to his battle. She had to be nearby when he died so that she could harvest his soul.

  He brought the car to a stop.

  In the warehouse in front of them, there was a sort of a low-life summit between Odin and Thor worshippers. All Endowed. And all hated Lokians with a rabid passion.

  Crashing their meeting was a sure way to go.

  He turned to Kara. She remained staring ahead.

  He should just go. He couldn’t. Just one last kiss.

  He dragged her to him, took her stiff lips in a kiss where he poured all his love. She didn’t reciprocate. She wouldn’t say goodbye, letting him know what he was doing was one-sided. She hated him right now for depriving her of himself. He hoped this anger would help her until she could start healing and forgetting.

  He left the car, didn’t look back.

  He entered the warehouse, and after the initial stupefaction, it was very much a déjà vu of that first night he’d seen her.

  He was soon accumulating too many injuries, feeling his life force deserting him. He knew this time Loki would let him go.

  He was willing his soul to leave his body and go to her, when suddenly among the haze of agony he felt a disturbance spreading like wildfire, through his abusers, through his abused body.

  He raised his head. And she was there. Kara.

  He watched in horror as the déjà vu congealed. Some of his attackers charged her. This time she stood there, made no attempt to protect herself. The first one who reached her ran her through.

  He heard her cry, watched her fall to her knees, and knew.

  She would die. Right here. Before his eyes. They had killed her.

  And he went berserk.

  He felt nothing more until he was panting over the hacked bodies of his enemies. Kara’s killers.

  Then he was crashing to his knees by her side, shuddering apart with heaves of desperation. He gathered her in shaking arms, madness and grief pouring from his eyes, spilling all over her.

  Her lashes fluttered. His heart ruptured. She was still alive. But not for long. He felt her essence ebbing, only moments’ worth left to power her last breaths.

  Her eyes opened and impaled him with a look of serenity.

  Then she smiled. Smiled. “You didn’t think…I’d let you carry out this harebrained idea…did you?”

  He wanted to shake her, strangle her for doing this to him, to herself. He could only choke, “You’re insane, insane….”

  “Not really. This will work…you’ll see. I’ve been doing research…and this is one way out my aunts and Freyja conveniently forgot to mention…and you didn’t think of. As a willing sacrifice…I’ve cornered both gods. They won’t be able to force me into anything. Odin can’t claim me…and Freyja has to accept me in Fólkvangr without your soul as a ticket in.”

  “Why wouldn’t she restore your immortality?”

  “That was only…on offer…in return for your soul. I only want eternity if you’re with me…and we can’t be alive together…. It’s a catch-22. So this is…the best solution.”

  “There’s another solution. Take me with you.”

  “I can’t. But I’ll be fine in Fólkvangr. I’ve existed way too long, too, and even if I don’t remember it…I feel the weight of time in my bones. It will do me good to get off this merry-go-round. Also my job as tour guide…to the fallen is nowhere…as noble as yours…as guide…to the outcasts. I’ll end my existence with reversing my role…saving a mighty warrior instead of selling him on Valhalla and…trapping him into helping…that Odin oaf.”

  And he roared, “I’m not leaving you to those psychopaths. They’ll find a way to punish you for thwarting them. So if you can’t take me with you, if I can’t be with you, I want anyone who covets my soul and anything else I can give to take it all wherever they wish. If they release you from this vindictive curse and restore your immortality.”

  A sudden wind tore through the stifling warehouse, eddying madly in thickening smoke clouds.

  As abruptly as the vortex formed, it dissipated.

  Sigrun appeared with two other women, reeking of that inimitable Dísir bouquet, dressed as if for a board meeting. They walked toward him and the now weakly gasping Kara with tranquil steps.

  Kara’s eyes grew taunting. “It’s over, aunts. You can’t have him.”

  Sigrun smiled indulgently at her. “Oh, but it’s no longer up to you, sweetie. It’s up to him.” She turned her eyes to Vidar. “Did you mean what you just said?”

  “I did,” he gritted. “I do. Now quit wasting my time.”

  Sigrun raised perfectly manicured hands. “Just a second, big boy. We don’t appreciate it when anyone comes complaining that we didn’t give them time to read the fine print. You understand the significance of granting us such a carte blanche?”

  “I do. My soul, and anything else you want.”

  “You do know what ‘anything’ means, right?”

  He nodded tersely. “Do it already.”

  Before he could draw another breath, oblivion claimed him.

  As he faded away, he heard Sigrun exclaiming excitedly, “Wow, Kara, you’ve gone where no Valkyrie has gone before. I thought you were being overconfident when you said you’d get us better than his soul. You not only made him volunteer it, he literally signed to anything of his. This means his Endowment, and anyone he’s connected to through it. The other Lokians, and even Loki himself.”

  Awareness returned like an incoming train.

  It impacted him, left him decimated and scattered.

  His senses coalesced from the whiteout of agony, converged on a realm that pulsed with power, everything enveloping him indeterminable, beyond his grasp.

  So this was Fólkvangr.

  Then he ceased trying to decipher what bombarded him.

  Kara was there. Whole. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

  She was staring at him, her face void of expression for the first time. She looked so near. She felt as if she were in another realm.

  “You’re just sensing her real feelings at last, y’know?”

  The Dísir. Those bitches were here, too? Great.

  “Isn’t it? We’ll make your afterlife so…interesting.”

  Were those pests reading his mind?

  “Here we can do that and more. We can do anything, really.”

  “Then you can literally fuck yourselves,” he growled.

  “Tsk. Don’t be a sore loser, Vidar.”

  “You’re losers, period.”

  “We’ll excuse you, poor man. You must be feeling so stupid, so used right now. But don’t feel too bad. Kara’s convoluted plan and her seamless execution of it would have fooled any of us. It was a con for the ages. I bet Loki will teach her methods in his Trickster University for eons to come. If he doesn’t join us here soon.”

  Vidar turned his eyes to Kara’s impassive one.

  He turned to the Dísir. “Play another one.”

  “Which one? The game where we try to pretend that you’re not the laughingstock of the afterlife? The master trickster who was taken in like a wet-nosed chump?”

  “Save it, hags. As we Lokians say to females we wouldn’t touch with a realm-long pole, that’s one itch I’m never helping you scratch. You’ll have to live with the excruciating fact that Kara and I gave our lives for each other. But then, that would imply that you actually feel. You don’t. You’re defective models who came onto this immortal coil stripped of vital components, so you’ll never understand why we did what we did for each other.”

  “You got a mouth on you, boy. We have an eternity to…put it to good use, though.”

  “Save your threats for someone who gives a shit, or looks at you and sees anything apart from pathetic jokes.”

  The Dísir looked at one another, then burst out laughing.

  Sigrun pretended to wipe away a tear of hilarity. “Oh, boy. Taming this one will be major fun.”

 

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