Brooklyn & Beale, page 22
He shook his head at the ridiculous thought. Following her to New York would be the worst thing he could do. He belonged in Memphis—with Jess. The moment her name popped into his head, a pang of guilt and shame seared through his chest. Not wanting to think about all of the ways he was screwing up every aspect of his life, he shoved his room key in his pocket and walked back to Chloe’s room.
Rapping his knuckles on the door, he pushed it open and stepped inside before flipping over the lock that had been used to prop open the door. Chloe was still seated at the table, one knee pulled to her chest while her other leg dangled from the chair. Wordlessly, they smiled at each other as he passed her a beer and grabbed one for himself.
“So have you decided which songs we’re doing for the awards show?”
“I’ve only changed my mind about a dozen times,” he groaned. “I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this one.”
“Well, let’s see if I can help.”
For the next hour, Chloe and Reid pored over his song catalog, listing pros and cons for each song. Truth be told, it was completely unnecessary. It wasn’t that Reid didn’t know which songs he wanted to play, because he did. The problem was the reason behind his song choices. Each song he chose was a song where he and Chloe played off one another and sent the crowd into a frenzy. No doubt it would make for one hell of a show, but this would be the first time they performed in front of cameras for live television. Reid worried that without the crazy lights, dry ice, and amateur recordings of fans, everyone would see what he so desperately tried to deny. That his chemistry with Chloe went far beyond the stage. The thought was terrifying.
“Mind if I use your bathroom?” Reid asked, needing a little distance.
Chloe looked around the table and laughed. “Go ahead, but make it fast. My bladder didn’t realize we’d gone through all of your beer until now.”
Reid used the facilities as quickly as possible, grinning when he found Chloe waiting outside the door. “It’s all yours.”
The door clicked behind him as he moved around the bed toward the table. He stumbled when the top of his boot hit something sticking out from under the edge of the bed. Without thinking, he stooped and retrieved what he realized was Chloe’s notebook. When he scanned the words on the page, his entire body locked. The words blurred as his vision drifted in and out of focus. The sound of his rapidly increasing heartbeat pounded in his ears as the read the words again and again. What did they mean? Were they about him? Were they about someone else? That scenario caused an entirely different set of emotions to emerge. He eased to the floor, so focused on deciphering the meaning of the lyrics that he didn’t notice Chloe had sat in front of him until she placed her hand on his arm.
“Are you okay?”
He looked at her, wide-eyed and nervous, his heart lodged in his throat. “Is this new?” he asked, his voice strained.
Chloe looked at the page, and instead of anger or embarrassment, her eyes fell shut in what seemed like resignation. “Yeah. I was just messing around earlier. You know how it is.”
“I used to,” he whispered.
Chloe pulled the notebook from his hands and placed it in her lap. She traced the curves of the letters with the tips of her fingers and sighed. “You know, it’s not a feeling you can forget—the motivation behind your words.”
Reid swallowed hard and wiped his palms against his jeans. “What’s your motivation?”
Chloe lifted one shoulder and tilted her head. “The same as anyone else, I guess. Life, and the shit it throws at you.”
“Life has thrown plenty of shit my way lately and I still can’t find the words. Is there something wrong with me?”
“Do you feel like there’s something wrong with you?”
“I feel like everything I’m feeling is wrong.”
Chloe’s brows dipped and a flash of pain crossed her features before she dropped her chin and hid behind a cascade of hair. “I know exactly how you feel.”
“Chloe,” Reid whispered, lifting his hand to tilt her chin upward. “When I was younger, the only songs I wrote were about my life. It’s what makes them so special.”
Chloe stared at him, her violet-blue eyes penetrating into every part of him. He was lost in her gaze. “If you were to write a song about me, what would you say?”
He dropped his hand and looked away. “You know I can’t write.”
“I’m not asking you to write a song. It doesn’t have to be like that. Just a sentence or two. If someone asked you to tell them about me, what would you say? That’s all it is. It’s only words, Reid.”
He took a deep breath and scrubbed his hand over his face. A memory of standing on an empty stage popped into his head. At the time, the words made no sense, but now . . . He couldn’t understand how he didn’t see it all along. “She’s steel and silk,” he murmured, his pulse thundering in his ears. “Soft strands floating in the wind, a canvas of color covering her skin. She wraps me in her embrace, bathes me in her grace. She’s wrecking my world, this perfect girl . . .” The words died in his throat as he stared into Chloe’s shimmering eyes.
“See?” she whispered. “You haven’t lost your words at all.”
A hush fell over the room. Chloe and Reid sat motionless, almost as if they feared the slightest disturbance would ruin the intensity of the moment. “What about you?” he asked. “If you were to write a song about me, what would you say?”
Chloe blinked back tears and dropped her gaze to the notebook in her lap. She smoothed her hand over the paper, and when she met his gaze again, her smile was small and sad. “You’ve already read it.”
“Chloe,” he choked, his body vibrating with nervous energy. He’d never felt this way; the anticipation, the longing, the undeniable desire. He inched closer, his heart slamming inside his chest. Chloe’s lips parted and her eyes widened. When he felt the warmth of her breath fan over his face, goose bumps broke across his skin. Their eyes remained locked, the sweet smell of lavender invading his senses and making him dizzy. His hands shook as he lifted them to cradle her jaw and his eyes fell shut when he felt the soft, plump touch of her lips. In that moment, he’d never wanted anything more than to press his lips against hers; so he did.
His fingers curled around her neck and into her hair. He pulled her closer, wanting more, needing more. When she wrapped her hands around his wrists and squeezed, holding him in place instead of pushing him away, he lost all control. With a soft sweep of his tongue, her lips parted and he slipped inside her. It was like nothing he’d ever experienced, but he knew he didn’t want to go a single second of the rest of his life without feeling it. Her tongue moved in perfect sync—every move, every moan, every soft suck a confirmation that this was supposed to happen. They were meant to happen.
“Chloe,” he groaned, pulling her lower lip between his teeth.
“Reid,” she exhaled, gripping him tighter.
He slid his hands to her shoulders, fingering the exposed strap of her tank, when the sound of a cell phone ringing broke the spell and snatched them back into the present. A sinking feeling spread through Reid as he ripped away from Chloe. With wide, panicked eyes, he pulled his phone from his pocket and stared at the screen. Jess’s name flashed across it mockingly.
Jess.
What the hell was he thinking? He looked from Chloe to his phone, torn between guilt and regret. “Shit, Chloe. I’m so sorry. I never should have done that.” Jumping to his feet, he backed toward the door. “I’m so sorry. I had no right. That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so sorry. It was a mistake. A mistake.” He slipped out of the room and into the hallway, unable to bear looking at the anguish marring Chloe’s beautiful face.
Crashing into his room, he paced in front of the bed. Through the thin walls, he could hear Chloe’s soft cries from her room. It tore at him in violent ways. He touched his lips and closed his eyes. He could still taste and smell her all over him. And God help him, as much as he knew he should wash it away, wash her away, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
When morning arrived, it came with gray skies and rumbling thunder. The sun was nowhere to be seen. Chloe envied its ability to hide from the world. She wanted nothing more than to disappear. Unfortunately, that wasn’t an option. Kicking back the sheets, Chloe sat up. With her elbows propped on her knees, she dropped her head in her hands and sighed. Even though she knew it shouldn’t have been possible, her lips still tingled from his kiss. It had been everything she’d dreamed. It was perfect in ways she never imagined.
Until it wasn’t.
She rubbed the tips of her fingers over her swollen eyes and stood. After showering and eating breakfast, she packed her things, doing whatever she could to keep her thoughts from wandering to the night before. But no matter how hard she tried, one word echoed in her mind and pierced her heart over and over again.
Mistake.
When she knew she couldn’t hide in her room any longer, she grabbed her violin and bag for the show. Each step toward the lobby caused her anxiety to spike. By the time she stepped off the elevator, her heart was nearly at a full gallop.
“There you are,” Greer said, walking in her direction. “I thought we were going to have to send a search party.” When he moved in front of her, he paused. His brows pulled together and he frowned as he studied her. “Are you okay?”
Chloe shifted her weight and gave him a weak smile. “I’ve got a bit of a headache, to be honest. I might have had a few too many beers last night.”
“You know, all you had to do was ask, and I would have happily come over and helped you out. You might give people the wrong impression drinking alone,” Greer laughed, causing Chloe to roll her eyes, a smile threatening to break across her face.
“Greer, how are you going to get through the next couple of weeks without having Chloe around to harass?” Inky asked, joining the pair.
Greer smirked. “I have her number. Among other things.”
Chloe’s face blanched. “What did you do?”
Greer patted her cheek and laughed. “You’ll see. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the festival to catch a few bands. If you decide to come, text me.”
Chloe stood frozen as Greer joined the rest of the group and headed out of the hotel. “I’m scared,” she whispered, only half joking.
Inky grinned and pulled Chloe’s bag from her shoulder. “So, what do you say? Wanna head to the festival and listen to music with the others?”
“What about rehearsals?” Chloe asked, noticing for the first time that Reid was nowhere to be seen.
“No rehearsals today,” Inky answered, leading Chloe out of the hotel. “Reid figured since this was the last show and you guys already played here once, it should be fine.” Her steps slowed as she turned toward Chloe, a knowing glint in her eyes.
“What?” Chloe asked, fidgeting.
“I just think it’s funny.”
“What’s funny?”
“That when Reid came downstairs, looking just like you do, he gave Tom the exact same excuse. I didn’t believe him any more than I believe you.”
Chloe dropped her eyes and cleared her throat. “I’m not lying. I did have too many beers last night. Although, right now, one sounds about perfect.”
“Chloe.” Inky reached out and placed her hand on Chloe’s arm. “What happened?”
Chloe’s eyes filled with tears. She swiped her thumb across her cheeks, her head still down. “Nothing.”
“Listen,” Inky said, pulling Chloe away from anyone within earshot, her voice compassionate, yet firm. “I’m no saint. As a matter of fact, I’m quite proud of some of the idiotic things I’ve done. I also learned a long time ago not to judge other people. I mean, I do judge them. I judge people all the time. Because there are some really stupid fucking people in this world. But I understand that things are not always black and white. Any idiot can see there’s something special between you and Reid. A spark. But he’s with Jess, and I don’t think he’ll ever leave her again. I’m not telling you this to be cruel, but you’re my friend and I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
Chloe sighed and finally lifted her gaze to Inky’s. “I don’t want him to leave her. This has nothing to do with that. I promise.”
Inky raised her brow and pursed her lips. “You know I don’t believe a word you’re saying, right?”
Chloe let out a soft laugh and smiled. It was small and tired, but genuine. “I know, but I promise I’m okay. I just need a little time to myself to get my head right. You know how it is on the road,” she said with a shrug. “Bones get confused sometimes. And dogs can be quite charming when they want to be.”
Inky nodded, a sly smile curving her lips. “True as that may be, they still lick their own ass.”
Chloe choked as her laugh stuck in her throat. “Oh my God, Inky,” she gasped. “You’re the best.”
“Only on days that end in ‘y.’ Now, come on. Let’s go listen to some jams and forget about this bullshit. You’ll be back in New York in a couple of days, and all of this will be forgotten. And if it isn’t, go out, find a fuckhot guy, and be his bone.”
“You realize I’m going to buy you one of those stupid dogs playing poker pictures for your birthday, right? As a matter of fact, don’t be surprised if every gift I ever send you from this point forward is a dog or a bone or a combination of the two.”
Inky laughed. “As long as the dog and bone aren’t joined, we’re cool. Actually, now that I think about it . . .”
“Inky!” Chloe screeched, her face red with laughter.
Inky waved her hand dismissively. “Fine, fine. Keep the porn to yourself.”
For the rest of the day, Chloe immersed herself in the excitement of the people around her. She danced, sang along with the crowd, and pushed aside all thoughts of the night before. It worked too, for a while. However, once dusk turned to darkness and the group made their way to the artist area to get ready for their set, Chloe could think of nothing else.
“All right, listen up, guys,” Tom said, holding up several sheets of paper. “This is the set list for tonight. Everything will be the same as last week except we’re adding two songs. Reid wants to open with ‘I Don’t Mind’ and ‘Last Time.’ We played these when the tour started, so there shouldn’t be any issues. Chloe, you’ll come in on the third song, and we’ll finish out as usual. Any questions?”
Chloe looked away. She hated how much it stung that he’d changed up the set list. It wasn’t that the songs were special to her in any way. It was the fact this would be the first show in months she hadn’t played from beginning to end.
“Why the switch?” Greer asked, moving next to Chloe.
Tom shrugged. “The fans. Apparently there was some hashtag thing on Twitter last night where fans were commenting on what songs they hoped to hear tonight. Those were the only two not currently in the set, so I convinced him to add them in at the beginning.”
Drew shrugged. “Makes sense. Those were his first two hits.”
Tom handed out copies of the set list and grinned. “Let’s rock this last show and get the hell back to LA. You guys ready?”
“Hell yes,” Greer answered, his brows drawing together as he looked around. “Where the fuck is Reid?”
Tom cleared his throat and averted his eyes. “He’ll be here soon. Now, everyone get ready. See you in an hour.” Without another word, Tom turned and left.
“Something’s going on,” Drew whispered, moving behind Chloe and Greer.
“You think he fell off the wagon?” Greer asked, his brow arched quizzically.
Chloe’s stomach dropped. Her heart hammered inside her chest. Surely he hadn’t felt so guilty about kissing her that he’d do something so stupid. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for some sort of proof that Greer’s question was completely off base.
“Nah, man,” Drew said, his eyes flicking on Chloe. “I’m sure he’s just in one of his super emo moods. I wouldn’t worry about it. Let’s get our shit ready.” Greer opened his mouth to speak but snapped it shut when Drew gave him a pointed stare.
“You guys realize I can see everything you’re not saying, right?” Chloe asked, finding her voice.
Drew rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry, Chloe. I’m just not sure how much Reid would appreciate certain aspects of his life being discussed in the open.”
Chloe nodded, not bothering to let them know just how much she knew. Like Drew said, Reid probably wouldn’t appreciate his life being discussed in the open. “No problem. I’m going to get changed. I’ll see you guys in a bit.”
Chloe took off toward their bus, freezing when a hand wrapped around her bicep. “Are you okay?” Greer whispered, looking over his shoulder. Chloe turned, her brows drawn.
“Yeah. I’m just tired. And I’m a little bummed about this part of the tour being over.” Chloe shrugged and gave him a small smile. “I guess I’m having my own super emo moment today.”
Greer stared at her, his eyes clouded with suspicion. “If you say so. You know you can talk to me if you need to, right? No matter what,” he added, his meaning clear.
“You’ll be sorry you said that when I call you at two in the morning crying over something ridiculously girlie.” Chloe giggled when Greer’s face twisted with disgust.
“If you call me at two in the morning, it better be for one of two things: you’re dying . . . or a booty call.”
Chloe laughed and smacked his shoulder. “You’re terrible! What if I was in jail?”
Greer rubbed his chin. “Depends.”
“On what?”
“On if there’s a booty call happening once I bail you out.”
Chloe rolled her eyes and pushed on his shoulder again before turning away. “Keep dreaming,” she called over her shoulder with a laugh.
“While it’s nice to have your permission, I would have done so anyway,” Greer yelled, walking backward.
Chloe could only cover her face and laugh as she stumbled to the bus. Taking a deep breath, she climbed the stairs and peeked around the corner. Her heart sank when she realized it was empty. Reid was really going to avoid her until the last second possible. For the first time since he’d left her room, Chloe felt a bubble of anger being to swell. Anger at Reid and anger at herself. Above all else, he was her friend, and at the moment, she felt like she’d lost him. What if he decided to use Valerie for the second leg of the tour? The option had been left open in her contract. What would that mean for the contacts he’d made for her in LA? Frustrated and confused, Chloe walked to her bunk and pulled down her things. She took extra time doing her makeup and hair. She wanted to look pretty, confident, like a girl who wasn’t feeling more and more heartbroken by the second.
