Worth Any Price, page 18
Amber hesitated. That obviously wasn’t what she’d expected him to say.
“Yeah, well, I know how it feels to be the kid with the hand-me-down clothes at school. There’s nothing more humiliating than having one of your classmates notice you’re wearing one of her old outfits that went to Goodwill. I didn’t want that for him.”
She glanced at the door to his bedroom, all the love and worry she felt for him clearly etched on her face. “I know he said he’d be wearing his headset, but…” She tipped her head toward the living room.
As soon as they settled on the sofa, much too far apart for his liking, he asked, “Is everything okay? I kind of got the feeling there was something wrong. Something besides our something.”
“Um…” Blinking like Bambi on a four-lane highway, she straightened the hem of the flowy black and red wraparound dress she wore. “It’s nothing, really. Derek and I just had a, well, not an argument, but a discussion earlier. About his father.”
There was no good reason for it, but that news rubbed him on the raw. “I thought he wasn’t a part of Derek’s life.”
“He wasn’t. He isn’t. He just…it wasn’t a very pleasant conversation, and I’d really rather not talk about it, or him, if you don’t mind.”
“Okay. I’d rather talk about us, anyway.”
But a part of him wanted to know why this up-till-now absent dad suddenly came up in conversation, today of all days. Was it because of Richard being—hopefully—in their lives again? Perhaps on a more permanent basis? Was Derek wondering if that might make Richard start thinking and acting in a more paternal role? Was Amber?
Was he?
The thought didn’t totally terrify him. Which in itself should have scared the crap out of him. But no, the only thing that did that was the possibility of not earning this woman’s trust back.
Without it, he’d never get a second chance with her.
“I know I already apologized, but I don’t think I can say it enough times to make up for what an ass I was. I should have told you who I was before our first date, and I certainly shouldn’t have suggested what I did about continuing our acquaintance for the sex.”
That bit of idiocy still ate at him.
“My only defense is that I panicked and said the first stupid thing that popped into my head when I thought of you walking out of my life for good. You deserved so much better from me, and I’m so damn sorry I hurt you.”
No mere words could convey just how sorry he was, but he had to start somewhere. If he had to, he’d even do some of the groveling Rafe suggested.
Whatever it took, he’d do it.
“I know you are. And I even understand why you might have thought I’d be happy to trade on my body to get what I want.” Her expression soured. “It seems to be the popular opinion lately.” Amber shook her head before he could ask what she meant. “Never mind. Different stuff. We need to concentrate on this stuff. Our stuff.”
He didn’t like it, but she was right. They needed to clear up the issues between them first.
Then he could find out who or what put that bleak look on her face and hand them their ass for it.
“Whoever thinks that is wrong,” he said, reaching out to take her hand. “Including me. Especially me. You’re one of the strongest, most independent women I know. It’s true,” he said when she scoffed. “You actually remind me a lot of my mother and sister that way.”
“I don’t feel strong and independent right now, but thank you.” She squeezed his hand. “And since I’ve met your mother, I’ll take that as a huge compliment.”
“You should. Mom can be pretty kick-ass when she needs to be.”
She quirked a brow. “Kick-ass? Mrs. Beaumont?”
“In a pearls-and-high-heels kind of way, but yeah.” His mother might be refined, but she didn’t take shit from anyone. Most especially her kids. “So…I know I haven’t earned the right to ask yet, but I’m going to anyway because it’s making me crazy. Do you forgive me? Can you forgive me?”
The wait for her answer felt like the frames in an action movie, wondering if the bomb would either explode or be defused. Every second ticked by with painful slowness as the tension ratcheted higher and higher.
Her face, for once, gave nothing away. He’d gotten so used to reading her always open expressions, it was like having a blindfold suddenly put on.
He didn’t like it one little bit.
Her honest reactions were something he’d treasured without even realizing it. If he’d caused her to lose that refreshing openness with his cynicism and derision, he’d add his own ass to the top of the ‘needs to be kicked’ list.
“You hurt me a lot,” she said finally, her voice a little wavery, “but yes, I think I can.”
Relief swept through him, though his elation was tempered by the fact she’d said “can” and not “have.” But he could work with that. Now that she’d opened the door to the possibility, he’d do whatever it took to earn her complete forgiveness.
Even if it took a lifetime.
“Thank you.” He wanted nothing more than to grab her up in his arms and kiss her until they were both totally breathless, but settled for raising her hand to his mouth for a lingering kiss on her knuckles. He was rewarded by a tiny shudder that ended with her breath catching. “I won’t give you any reason to regret it.” He dropped another kiss on her hand before releasing it. “I promise.”
“I, um, good. That’s good.” She gave a shaky laugh as she cradled her hand to her chest. “Has anyone ever told you how potent that sex appeal of yours is?”
“Really? You think so?”
“I know so. You’re a dangerous man, Richard Beaumont.” She bit her lip.
It was the first time she’d used his full name, and it looked like it stunned her for a second.
Not about to let her get too far inside her own head thinking about it and set back the progress they’d made, he gave her a lazy grin. “Actually, I don’t think it’s so much either you or me, but us.”
“Us?”
“We wouldn’t both be feeling like this if there wasn’t something special between us. You’re sexy as hell, sweetheart, but no other woman has made me feel this way just by being in the same room with her.”
“Oh?” Her pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips. “And how do you feel?”
“You sure you want to know?”
His groin tightened when she gave a tiny nod.
Locking his gaze on hers, he said, “Achy. Needy. Like there’s a thousand fire ants marching all over my skin. Hard as a rock.” He groaned when her gaze flicked down to his lap and back, her cheeks pinkening. “It’s wrong, I know. You’re mad as hell at me, and all I’ve touched tonight is your damn hand, but it wouldn’t take much more than a stiff breeze to finish me off. That’s how much you affect me.”
“Me too,” she whispered. “You do that to me, too. It’s…almost too much.”
“And still not enough.”
“No. It’s not.” Without warning, Amber closed the distance between them and kissed him. Unlike the increasingly hot and heavy embraces they’d shared in the past, this one was soft and gentle. Passionate, yet restrained.
A new promise.
A new beginning.
He groaned softly against her mouth. She tasted sweet and spicy, like the apple pie they’d had for dessert. But under that was just Amber. Her taste, her smell, her feel…they were so ingrained in him now, even in a pitch-dark room he’d know it was her.
When she finally broke off the kiss, her forehead pressed to his as they both fought to steady their breathing. He asked, “Too much?”
To his everlasting gratitude, she shook her head. “Not nearly enough.”
In one lithe move, she slid her leg over his, straddling his lap as she faced him. She cupped his face in gentle hands, but the kiss that followed was anything but.
Her sharp little teeth nipping at his lower lip to demand entrance nearly sent him over the edge. His erection pulsed in response. Still wary of moving too fast, he let her set the pace, even though the heat of her radiating through the thin barrier of her panties was like an unbearable erotic tease.
Every touch she gave, he gave her back. For every kiss, every lick, every sound, he made sure she knew he was right there with her, willing to follow wherever she would lead.
If they’d been alone in the apartment, that might have been to bed.
But they weren’t.
Which was why the moment he felt himself approaching a point of no return as she slowly ground herself against him, mouth hot and wet on his neck as he caressed her through the soft cotton of her dress, he forced his hands to her hips to still her undulating movements. It took a moment for her to comply, as lost in the tidal pool of sensations as he’d been.
“Amber. Sweetheart.” He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, waiting for the glaze of arousal to fade from her eyes. “Even though I’d love to do this all night long, I’m afraid I’m about to embarrass myself here. And as much as I might enjoy it, it wouldn’t make for a very comfortable ride home afterward.”
She looked at him for a second as his words processed. Then the little witch smiled slowly and gave her lower body a small shimmy.
“You could always go home commando.”
It was so tempting, and he was so damn close. But he sucked in a wild breath and grabbed hold of the last threads of self-control he had left. Hands still on her hips, he used his upper body strength to slide her back on his thighs a few inches. The loss of her heat on his groin made him want to growl.
Still, it was the right thing to do.
Damn it.
Caressing her pouting lower lip with his thumb, he said, “When I get to come with you, it’s going to be long, loud, and dirty. I promise it will be worth the wait.” From the way her eyes dilated, she liked that idea. “I can give you some relief before I go, though, if you want.”
Slowly, she shook her head. “I want to be loud and dirty, too.” She curled her tongue around his thumb for a sensuous lick. “I’ll wait.”
“Jesus!” He pulled her toward him, devouring her mouth, eating the little kitten sounds purring from her throat as he kneaded her swollen breasts, thumbing the hard tips he was desperate to uncover and taste but which would, for now, still have to remain a mystery yet to be savored.
With a curse, he wrenched back and threw his head against the cushion, chest heaving. “If I don’t leave now, all my good intentions are going right out the window.” Along with his sanity.
She sighed, but slid off his lap, collapsing on the sofa beside him as though her bones had gone to jelly. “Too much?”
There was a thin thread of uncertainty in her voice, surprising him. He swiveled his head to look at her.
“Never enough.”
Hot. Damn.
The man knew how to give good eye contact. The heat and promise she saw in that dreamy brown gaze was enough to send her lady bits into overdrive. Not that they weren’t already fully revved. Holy hell, when was the last time a man almost made her orgasm with all her clothes still on?
That would be never.
She smiled and ran a caress down his arm, ending at his hand where she twined her fingers with his. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“Understanding why I can’t…we can’t…do this here, now. And for being the one to know when to put on the brakes.” That part was a little embarrassing. At the same time, it meant a hell of a lot more to her than any promises or apologies he could make.
For a man to be in enough control to pull back the way he did, for the sake of her kid, especially when she was egging him on? It showed while he wanted her—and lordy, she’d felt just how much of him wanted her—it really wasn’t all about the sex for him.
The thought made her a little giddy.
So did the memory of his rock-hard erection doing delicious things to her clit. And that was through several layers of clothing. Imagining how much better it would be skin-to-skin made her entire body flush with heat.
Rick let out a soft groan. “Don’t look at me like that.” He rose jerkily to his feet, pulling her up along with him. “I should go.”
No, you should come.
Shushing her inner hussy, she allowed him to tug her to the door. A hundred different things to say ran through her head like rabid rabbits, but not a single one of them seemed right. Because things still weren’t a hundred percent settled between them. She was still mad at him.
At least, she should be.
But somehow the man had snuck beneath her defenses and salved the wound he’d sliced into her heart and soul. It wasn’t healed yet, but it was on its way. Her pride, though, might take a little longer to scab over.
Her hormones were clearly over it entirely.
Rick turned to her at the door. “Thanks again for inviting me.”
She knew he wasn’t just thanking her for the meal. “I’m glad I did.” The smile she got from those words sent another hot flash through her, making her breasts ache.
“Can I take you out this weekend? Just the two of us?”
“Um…” It took a second to unscramble her brain enough to remember her schedule. She’d been planning to pick up a shift at the restaurant, since Derek would be at Jesus’s. His birthday was less than six weeks away, and Christmas a little over a month after that. Even if she didn’t need to buy the new MZA2 game anymore, she should still be socking away every extra dollar she could make.
But maybe…maybe it was time to be a tiny bit selfish and claim one weekend for herself. To see where things could go. To see if this could be something real.
Before her practical side had time to talk her out of it, she smiled. “I’d love that.” Her heart gave a little thump. There. She was committed.
She just hoped she wasn’t making a mistake.
After a goodnight kiss that threatened to destroy both their good intentions, she closed the door behind him, leaning against it with a sigh as she struggled to bring her body under control. This was stupid. It was crazy. She knew what happened when a woman like her tried to fit with a man like him. And yet…
Rick was nothing like Hunter.
Maybe it was time she stopped using her bad experience with him as a measuring stick. Hunter was, and always had been, a selfish prick. She’d just been too blinded by his looks and charm to realize it until it was too late.
Rick, on the other hand, had already proven that while he wasn’t perfect, he was normally kind, considerate, and willing to delay his own gratification until circumstances were more private.
Like they’d be this weekend.
She pressed a hand to her belly, where nerves started doing a little do-si-do at the thought of finally getting naked with him. It had been a long time for her. Too long. What if she couldn’t satisfy him? What if he was turned off by her body? She stayed fit, but there were effects from pregnancy and birth no amount of working out could erase.
Stretch marks were forever.
Before she could work herself into a panic over things she couldn’t control, she pushed all thoughts of next weekend and whatever might or might not occur to the back of her mind. She had an entire week to get through before then. If she spent all of it obsessing about everything that could go wrong, she’d be a nervous wreck long before Saturday ever arrived.
After putting the kitchen to rights, she gave a tentative knock on Derek’s door. When he didn’t answer, she opened it a few inches to peek in. True to his word, he was sprawled across the bed on his belly, headphones on, watching one of the Transformers movies for probably the hundredth time.
She stood there for a moment and just looked.
No matter what else happened, Derek was the one shining prize that made going through all the crappy stuff worth it. He was the light of her life. Her best thing ever. And despite the threat of Hunter doing something underhanded and nasty still hanging over their heads, she wouldn’t change a single thing about what had happened between them, because it had given her Derek.
Okay, maybe she’d change him coming back into their lives at the very worst time possible.
And that he’d hurt Derek on purpose.
And that he was such a douchebag.
She moved into the room to catch Derek’s attention to say goodnight, only to realize he was sound asleep. Shaking her head at how he could zonk out anywhere, anytime, she turned off the tv and slid the headset off him.
He half woke up while she was maneuvering his limp body under the covers, squirming into place with a grunted “g’nite” before passing out cold again even before she pressed a kiss to his forehead.
After gathering her clothes for work the next morning, her first in her new position, she turned off the light and shut the door, but not before giving him one last long look. He was growing up so quickly. It was like every time she looked, there was something different about him.
One day soon, she was going to look and her little boy would be gone entirely, transformed into a teenager who probably wouldn’t want anything to do with being tucked into bed with a goodnight kiss. But until that happened, she’d hoard every special moment she could get.
Just like she’d take every giddy, exciting minute she could with Rick.
Instead of focusing on what might go wrong, she was going to only think about all the things that could go right. Hopefully very right. Many, many times.
A little shiver of anticipation rippled through her.
It was going to be a very long week.
Chapter 14
“Oh, that feels so good.”
“Told you it would.”
Amber wanted to toss something at Rick’s smug face, but the cool water running over her naked toes was too delicious for her to muster up the effort. Instead, she leaned back on her elbows and tilted her face up to the sky, absorbing the rays of the autumn sun as a gift. The smooth rock beneath her still held the heat of the above normal temperature mid-October day, warming her while the chill of Boulder Creek’s rushing water soothed her tired feet.
