The Fear, page 9
Debbie went missing after Axel had left.
His jaw twitches, and I feel like I’m walking on very thin ice.
“Is there no one who can vouch for you?” I ask again.
“No!” he snaps. “I was home alone, and I didn’t leave.”
I jolt at the acid in his voice. “Right. It’s okay.”
He takes a breath.
“Is it okay? There’s no one, Izzy. No one to have my back. I’m on my own, and I don’t exactly make a lot of friends.”
Crap, he really doesn’t have anyone on his side. “There must be something. Can’t your phone prove where you were?”
“I guess we’ll see.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, it depends on what the cops find. I didn’t make any calls, and I sure as hell don’t have my location turned on.”
“There must be some way they can find that out.”
“I don’t know, Izzy.”
He turns his body away slightly, not enough so it looks like he’s avoiding me, but I can see more of the back of his head than the side.
Great, he’s back to being mad at me.
This is ridiculous.
I turn to my own work, my stomach tightening in anger.
It’s hardly my fault that no one can back him up, is it?
He did have plenty of time to kill them.
My palm curls around my pen.
Axel had the opportunity to do this, and he just admitted that he hated Kason. He wouldn’t tell me that if he was the killer, surely.
For the rest of the class, he pretends that I don’t exist, and my mind races.
Why would he kill both of them, though? Unless Debbie witnessed Axel drowning Kason and he had to kill her to shut her up.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Axel in a shirt like the one I found, or in any color other than black, but I’ve hardly been keeping track of his wardrobe.
At lunchtime, I meet Syd in the cafeteria and watch a new snowstorm roll in.
The principal will be watching to see if she needs to shut school down and send us all home. We’ve had no alerts that the storm will cause disruption.
“What gives, Iz?” Syd asks.
I pick at my sandwich. “Axel doesn’t have an alibi.”
“Does he need one?”
“The cops seem to think so. He also mentioned that they’re going to find out how much he hated Kason.”
It bothers me that he’s alone, and it shouldn’t. He could have friends and his cousin closer if he weren’t so hostile and angry at the world.
“What does that mean?”
“That there’s evidence of how much he hated Kason out there, apparently. Maybe on his phone or laptop, I don’t know. He’s obviously done something to him.”
“Something as in told a girl he cheated on her or as in drowned him?”
“I really don’t think Kason would have cared if Axel squealed about a girl. He openly cheated on every girl he ever dated. If you can call that dating. Anyway, I think it was something more serious than that. It’s got Axel rattled.”
“So, you think the drowning thing?”
“No…Maybe. I just can’t see him doing that, you know?”
As much as Axel seems to hate everyone and everything, I just can’t picture him as a murderer.
“Who can you see doing it? Because serial killers rarely look or act like killers. At least, not at first—it’s how they get away with, you know, the serial part. Though as soon as you see their mug shots, they totally look like psychos.”
“This killer isn’t serial,” I say, as if that’s at all relevant. “Axel had time to kill them, he hated Kason, and he admits there’s something out there that proves how much he hated him. It’s not looking great for him.”
“Why aren’t you calling the sheriff about this right now?”
“Because I don’t think all that actually makes him a killer. He’s convinced they want to pin it on him. Two murdered teens, Syd—the cops will want to wrap that up pretty quickly. What if they charge Axel and he’s innocent?”
She bites her lip and pushes her pasta around with her fork. “Okay. I’m with you, but we can’t keep this to ourselves if we find anything more that makes him look guilty.”
“Agreed. I’m going to keep a real close eye on him.”
“Oh, make besties with the potential killer, Iz, fab idea.”
“We’re not going to start braiding each other’s hair.”
“You’re hilarious.”
I drop my half-eaten sandwich on the plate. “I’m not hungry. I’m going to head to the library for a while. I need to keep busy.”
“I’ll come with you. I want this day over, too.”
We throw away our trash and head out, and I can feel both Justin and Axel watching us the entire time.
I’m not sure which one is making me more uneasy.
fifteen
FEAR
Sliding the large wooden door shut at my base, I toss the bag of rope onto the table and stretch my back. I flex my hands as I walk to the sink to get some water.
Since making plans in autumn, I’ve been building my strength. It takes a lot to overpower a person trying to get out of your grip, to carry dead weight, to strangle a person with your bare hands.
My body is a weapon that I need to master. I’ve proved that I can do it, but pushing one person off a building and drowning another didn’t take the physical strength that I will need to squeeze the life out of a human.
I want to feel a life drain away under my fingertips.
I gulp down the entire glass of water and wipe my mouth with my hand.
Sweat drips down the back of my neck. I’ve only just caught my breath from the workout at the gym and the run across acres of fields to the barns. I’ve always kept myself in good shape, but that’s not enough for what I’m doing now.
I need to be fitter. I despise every person in this town, and I need to take them down one by one.
I strip off my damp hoodie and throw it on the table. The ripped plaid shirt is draped on the chair. Growling, I knock it onto the floor and sit down.
This barn is the only one not on any map. It’s hidden out of the way, at the end of the field behind the tree belt. It’s not on a map because not every dwelling here was built with permission. There’s a cluster of three small barns near the entrance to the farm and two more across the field from this one. I have plenty of room.
My family sold this land when I was a kid, but the new owners have done nothing with it. I heard talk about their having big money in the city, but of course I was never given any details. They will probably wait to see if the area picks up before deciding whether to build houses on the land.
It won’t.
Unlike some of the locals, I don’t really care what they do with it as long as they leave it for now. I’ll find something better soon enough. I need a place long-term.
This isn’t something I’ll be able to stop doing. The urge to kill is starting to become overwhelming. It simmers under my skin, and I know it’s only a matter of time before it boils over.
The other barn is a risk that I need to consider further down the line. First, I need to figure out how close the cops are to finding me, how they respond, where they search, and whether they’ll look this far out of town. I’m sure they will eventually, but I’m hidden by a dense patch of trees, bushes…and snow.
On the table are my notes. Names and fears, all collected from every repost I was able to access. Every single one fed the darkness that’s been growing inside me for the past year.
The hate and anger I feel toward everyone in this town shocked me at first. I tried to push it away and pretend that I didn’t want them to pay. But I couldn’t sit back and ignore it. Now I embrace it, as if I could live off this feeling alone.
They still pretend that my family was good, still speak highly of them.
There was never anything good inside their rotten souls.
I grit my teeth as fresh hatred explodes in my chest. I’m prepared and ready. I’ve thought of everything. I’ve taken care of Victim Zero and gotten over the aftermath. I’m now two, technically three, down.
No one is going to stop Fear.
sixteen
IZZY
After school, I go straight home to see my idiot sister, since she refused to go back to college.
We’re watching TV now, and I stare at the screen with my jaw dropped. The news is on, reporting about Debbie and Kason, and although it’s not actually news, I’m still stunned.
Lia wraps her arm around my shoulders. “It’ll be okay, Iz.”
“They’ve confirmed that they were murdered.”
It’s what I knew, what everyone already knew, but hearing the words on TV makes it so much more real. It’s definite. No more hope of its being a horrible accident. Someone out there murdered them. Someone who probably lives in town.
“That’s not a surprise, Izzy Bee, you know that.”
“It’s not but…”
“I get it,” she replies. “Come on, I’ll make you a strong coffee. I got really good at making them, now that I can’t afford to hit up Starbucks twice a day.”
My phone lights up with notifications. I don’t even want to look. I leave it behind and follow Lia.
In the kitchen, I sit at the table and watch her. “Do you think Mom and Dad will come home early from work?”
She shrugs as she pours two large cups of coffee. “They might but they know we’re safe here. The doors are locked and no one else has been threatened.”
“We don’t know whether Debbie and Kason were threatened. They were just murdered.”
“Don’t overthink.”
“They’re not the kind of people you try to intimidate. There would have been posts about it, something about how no one threatens them and they’ll silence whoever tries.”
“They sound delightful.”
“That might be the point,” I say. “They were both popular and not, er, delightful.”
“You’ll be fine, then, loser,” Lia teases.
“Funny.”
She’s not wrong, though.
“You’re trying to run a hundred steps ahead, Iz. You don’t have all the information the cops do. They said there’s no evidence that anyone else is in danger. We have to believe that.”
“Do we?”
“Isabel Rose Tindall.”
“Did you just go Mom on me?”
She laughs, stirring the coffees. “I did. I’m worried about you.”
“You reposted that meme. It’s you we should worry about.”
“Iz.” My name is a groan.
“When do you go back to school? You shouldn’t miss too much.”
“Relax. I’m only here for a couple of days.”
Good.
She gives me my coffee and checks her phone. “Hey, there’s a vigil being held on Sunday for Debbie and Kason.”
“Where?”
“The square, outside town hall.”
“Killers always go to those things.”
She looks at me over the top of her screen.
“What? They do!” I say. “I bet half the force will be there in normal clothes but, duh, the killer knows them.”
“You should take my place at college for a while.”
“The point is that you need to get away. Miyah reposted that meme, too.”
She sits down beside me. “I spoke to Aunt Ellen today, and Miyah isn’t going anywhere alone. Uncle Samar is going to take her to school, and Aunt Ellen will pick her up. She’s safe even if there is still danger.”
“Yeah, she was allowed to go to Puck’s, but he had to take her. Lia, did you know that Tristan and Axel are cousins?”
“Er, yeah, he lived with Tristan. Why?”
“You never mentioned it.”
She blows out a breath that lifts her bangs. “Should I have? You’ve never mentioned Axel to me before in your life.”
All right, fine. I’ll give her that one.
“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt. Who do you think would do this?” I ask.
“I have no clue. This is a town where everyone says hello and you never turn down someone who needs help. What if the killer asked for help and was turned down?”
“By Debbie and Kason?”
She shrugs. “Maybe.”
What would this person need from the star of the ice hockey team and a girl with jelly for brains?
“They weren’t nice people, Iz. They wanted to rule the school, even when they were juniors. We had to put a stop to that a few times.”
“We?”
“Me, Jade, and Tristan.”
“What did you guys do?” I ask.
“Nothing major, obviously. We just put them in their place. They don’t get first pick at everything just because they want it.”
“First pick at what?”
She sighs. “It’s not important, just dumb stuff like organizing dances and other school events.”
“I didn’t know you talked to them.”
She makes a face as if I smell. “I wouldn’t say that. On a couple of occasions, I told them to get back in their lane. We were hardly on speaking terms.”
“All right.”
Of course, Lia would have known them. It’s not like they blended into the background. Seems as if my sister knows more about my classmates than I do.
Is she downplaying it? There was clearly tension between her crew and Debbie and Kason’s. Could it have been a bigger rivalry than she’s telling me?
seventeen
IZZY
The following day, Lia meets me at Puck’s for dinner. She’s been out catching up with people in town, so we agreed to meet there after school. We order burgers, fries, and Cokes.
“I missed Puck’s,” she says. “We’d come here almost every day after school.”
Lia’s friends were the ones you wanted to be seen with. She’s always been so effortlessly cool.
“How are you holding up today, Izzy Bee?”
“Everyone stares at me like I’m a circus freak, I can’t get rid of the image of Debbie’s body, and you and Miyah reposted that death fear meme.”
Lia sips her Coke. “So, not great, then. Miyah and I will be fine. Didn’t almost everyone share that thing?”
“That’s not good, Lia.”
“Did the cops confirm that it’s a hit list? I haven’t heard anything about the meme from them.”
“No, they probably won’t, at least not yet. It would cause panic, right? Surely you don’t need to be told that by the cops, though? It’s obvious.”
She rolls her big hazel eyes. “You’re going to drive yourself mad. An awful thing happened here, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to get worse. Debbie and Kason were friends and had plenty of enemies, so it’s perfectly reasonable to believe that someone had it in for them and not every teenager in town.”
I wish I had Lia’s confidence. There’s no second-guessing for her. She plows ahead, certain that she’s got it figured out.
“I might look Tristan up. Do you see him out much?” she asks.
“Sometimes. Don’t you speak to him anymore?” He mentioned not speaking to her much as well.
“I try to, but I’m pretty busy now that I’m in college, Iz,” she says patronizingly. “He probably doesn’t have time to keep calling me, either.”
Matthew arrives just before I’m about to tell her to get back on a plane.
“Sure is great to see you back,” he says to Lia, putting her plate in front of her.
“Aw. I’ve missed you and these burgers.”
“Thanks,” I say as he places my food down. “Have you seen Tristan recently?”
Lia gives me a look that I know means she’s calling me names in her head.
Matthew frowns. “No. He hasn’t been in for a while, actually. I hope everything’s okay.”
“Lia was just saying that he doesn’t keep in touch that often.”
“He’s probably busy working. High school isn’t forever,” Matthew says, staring off into the distance as if he’s replaying memories in his head. “Well, hopefully he’ll drop in soon. Enjoy the burgers.”
Lia dumps a heap of ketchup onto her plate. “What’s going on in your head right now? You barely spoke to Tristan for the entire four years I was hanging around with him. Now you’re obsessed with his movements.”
The memory of him giving me his number flashes in my mind, and my cheeks heat.
“I’m not obsessed. Don’t you think it’s weird that he’s not around as much?”
She holds her finger up. “You and Matthew haven’t seen him. That’s not everyone. I know what you’re thinking about him and forget it. He’s the sweetest guy in the world. He was the one who took me to the emergency room when I fractured my wrist. He gives money to the homeless and volunteers at a soup kitchen. He would never hurt anyone.”
“All right,” I say, picking up my burger.
Though she doesn’t know if he still does all those things. She hasn’t spoken to him in ages.
Lia nods and dives into her fries. Almost literally.
While we eat, Justin, Tayley, and Mariella walk into the diner. Jessie trails them with her cousin Katy; I wonder if one of them will be let into the inner circle now that Debbie is dead. I haven’t seen Justin hang around with any of the other guys on the hockey team since.
If he’s not with Tayley and Mariella, he seems to be alone.
It’s normal for people like Axel to fly solo, not Justin.
He was pretty tight with a couple of them, but he’s keeping his distance now.
Justin looks from me to Lia and changes direction, going to a booth near the front of the restaurant and not his usual table.
