Mine to Have, page 5
Shelby says, looking around, "Um, where is Jennifer?"
"At the hospital," I state, and I try to walk past her and toward the bar because something tells me I should have another drink. It might not be a great idea given that people will want to try to talk to me, but whatever.
"So, is this wedding postponed?" Clarabella is the one with the big enough balls to ask me.
"No," I confirm, shaking my head. "Definitely canceled." I look up at the ceiling and can feel the pounding headache coming on. Or maybe it’s the booze.
"Fuck," Presley curses. "Incoming." She tries to give me a warning, but it’s not enough time when my mother steps in front of them.
"Excuse me," she says, looking around to see if there is anyone within earshot so she knows whether or not she can curse me out or not. Luckily for everyone, they are too busy whispering to each other, no doubt making up different stories. "Where is Jennifer?" She doesn’t even give me time to answer. "Can we not get the minister and get married at the hospital?" She looks around, searching for the minister.
"Um, the minister never showed," Shelby says, and I can’t help but laugh. If there were ever signs to say not to get married, this was the signs of all signs.
"Of course." I shake my head. "I want to know what did go right?"
"It’s fine," Clarabella says. "I’m ordained, so I would have been able to jump in."
"Well, then good thing it’s not happening," I say, and I try to walk away from them, but I can’t move.
"Just a minute, young man," my mother says, and my sisters laugh and then stop when my mother gives them that look.
"Young man?" Shelby is the one who can’t keep her face straight. "He’s almost thirty. We have to drop the young."
"Why aren’t you going back to the hospital with her?" My mother asks the question indirectly. She cocks one hip and waits for my answer.
"Because, Mom, we broke up," I explain, and Bennett shows up out of nowhere.
"Sorry to interrupt," he says, handing me a glass with scotch in it. "Thought you might need this." He looks around at the group. "To help with this." His hand does a circle of the group. "I’ll have another brought to you right away."
"More than you can ever know," I mumble and finish off the drink. He turns and walks away, going back to the bar. "Bottom line is it’s over and…" I don’t know what else I was going to say. The burning of my stomach is now replaced with warm heat. "Turns out she didn’t want to get married." I leave out the part that she didn’t want to marry me and that she was in love with Jackie. That’s not for me to share.
"I’ll get the guests taken care of," Shelby announces.
"I’ll check with the kitchen and have the food come out in bite sizes instead of plated," Clarabella says.
"I’ll check with the music and see if we can get it going," Presley adds.
The three of them go in different directions, and it’s just my mother and me. "Are you okay?" she asks, her voice soft.
"Actually." I look down at the empty glass in my hand. "I am." I look over, seeing that most people have stayed. "Better now than later, right?"
"She wasn’t the one," my mother says now, and I look at her and see her dabbing the corners of her eyes. "When it’s the right one, you’ll know." My mother looks over at the bar. "Maybe the right one was at the wrong time."
I look over at the bar. "Or maybe she was the right one all along, and I was stupid and scared she wouldn’t pick me."
"Only one way to find out." She comes to me and kisses my cheek. "Truth be told, you might still be stupid and scared."
"Not sure about scared," I joke with her. "Definitely still stupid." I look back over at Harlow and see her moving behind the bar as if she does this all the time. I wonder how she’s been. I wonder if she is happy. I wonder so many fucking things, and all I can do is stand here staring at her. But there is no mistaking that she still takes my breath away and makes me feel things I thought were gone forever.
"I’m proud of you." She cups my cheek. "Now, I shall go and mingle."
She walks away from me, and I have to say that that went better than I could ever imagine it going, like tenfold. I walk toward the bar and see my college friends all huddled on one side. I get closer, and the guys look up at me, and one of them just hands me their drink, and I take it without caring what it is. "Well, this is nice," I say, and I laugh.
"Listen, if you wanted to see us so bad," Frankie starts, taking a pull of his beer. "All you had to do was ask. You didn’t have to go out of your way and pretend to get married."
I throw my head back, and I laugh at him. "Guilty," I say, taking a gulp of the drink. I look to the side and see ten people now running in, all wearing black with white dress shirts. Two guys come over and walk behind the bar.
"I think this means I’m fired," Harlow declares and walks over to the sink to wash her hands. I follow her every move. I don’t think it sank in that she’s really here. She walks over to Bennett now. "Good job," she says, holding up her hand for him to give her a high five. "But I still won."
"I didn’t know where any of the bottles were," he whines to her retreating back. "We should have a rematch."
She shakes her head and walks out from behind the bar. Rachel whispers something into her ear, and she smiles and nods her head. "Okay, people," Jake says. "We know the drill." He looks over at the bartender. "We will take nine shots of tequila." The bartender nods at him and pours nine shots, and then he looks at all of us. "It’s time to play monkey business."
Everyone now groans and then laughs. "Got to bring it back old-school," I say, looking over at Harlow, who made up the game.
"If there is ever a time for monkey business," Harlow says and turns to hand me a shot. I laugh because she always had a way to make me feel better. If I had a crappy day at school, she would order my favorite food. If I got a bad result back, she would turn off all the lights in the room, and we would play touchy-feely, as she called it, trying to find each other. That’s Harlow, that is who she is. That is who I pushed away and forced myself to believe that I did it so she didn’t have to choose me over her family. I pushed her away because I was scared that she would sacrifice everything that she wanted for me, and then she would end up resenting me. I pushed her away, scared that in the end, she wouldn’t pick me. "It’s definitely now. Who wants to start?"
Chapter 8
Harlow
"Tomcat," Bennett says, and everyone laughs at him. "It’s an animal."
"No, it’s not," Presley says from her spot beside him. We moved from the bar to a table when the music started. People slowly started to leave, and now it was just our table left. We’ve been playing this game for the last hour, and the drinks have been flowing. The tension of me being here is gone, or at least it doesn’t bother me now because I have booze flowing through my system.
Sitting at the table between Rachel and Victoria, it’s definitely different from when we did this before. Especially since I used to either sit beside Travis or on top of him. Now he is facing me, and I am having a hard time not looking over at him. I would, of course, have to look over at him when it was his time during the game, but when it wasn’t, I would sneak looks over at him and hope he would miss me. A couple of times, I caught him looking and just smiled at him. My whole body was on high alert as if it was waiting for his touch. When he came to the bar and I handed him a drink, it was to make myself not reach out for him. It was what I always did. I had to tell myself that it was the past and he was with someone now. It was hard for me to swallow, but I did it for him. I did it because I promised him that I would be here and I was a woman of my word. I mean, I also promised to kick him in the balls the next time I would see him, so there is a promise that I don’t know if I will keep.
His voice when he said it was canceled, I thought I wasn’t hearing him correctly. I thought it was a mistake, and then he announced it, and I had all the questions in the world. What the hell was happening? Where was the bride? Who changed their mind? All the questions yet knew that he owed me nothing.
"I’m going to the bathroom," I say, standing up, the room spins, and then I sit down and laugh. I look around the table to see if anyone is watching and find his eyes on me. His eyes are a touch lighter than they were when he walked in. His side smirk makes my stomach flip and flop, and then the feeling goes a touch lower to a specific area he definitely made happy daily. It’s the smirk that I used to reach up and touch with my index finger right before I leaned in and kissed his lips.
"What is that smirk about?" I wrapped my arms around his neck as he placed his hands on my hips. His hands always were on my hips, where he squeezed me and pulled me toward him.
He would lift one of his hands and push my hair to the back of my shoulder so he could lean in and whisper in my ear. "Because I know what I’m going to be doing to you after we leave here." I would throw my head back and laugh, and he would take the opportunity to lean in and kiss my neck while he wrapped his arms around my waist, and I would be stuck to him.
"You are fortunate that I like you," I would say to him, and that would make him laugh, giving me the opportunity to kiss his neck and slip my hands into the back of his hair. "I like you a lot." His eyes would come back to mine. "I love you, Harlow," he would say, and no matter where we were or how loud it was, I could always hear those words clear as day. It would fill my whole body; it would make me feel complete. It would make my heart full in my chest. It was a feeling I thought would never go away.
I blink away the memory. "Okay, take two," I say, getting up, putting my hands on the table to steady myself, and when I don’t wobble, I want to give myself a high five. Instead, I giggle to myself.
"I’ll come with you," Shelby says, getting up. "I need to pee also."
We walk side by side through the tables and into the bathroom, and I stand here in shock. "Oh my God." I look around the square room that has all exposed red bricks. Wooden beams are exposed on the ceiling, with a crystal chandelier hanging down.
Five white sinks are along one of the walls, but what gets me is the big white bench right in front of a mirror that fills most of the wall, but it’s the thick gold antique frame. "This is gorgeous." I walk to the edge and touch the intricate lines with my fingers, tracing the tiny flowers.
"It’s the perfect place for a selfie," Shelby suggests, taking her phone out of her pocket. "Sit down," she says, motioning to the seat in front of it, and I do. "Face the mirror," she instructs me, and I follow her lead. "Put your legs to the side." I laugh when she says this. "Smile."
I smile into the mirror, and then she shows me the picture. "Damn, if you ever give up being a vet." She laughs when she walks into one of the stalls while I hold her phone in my hand. "You could be a model."
I can’t help but laugh at that. "Thanks"—I shake my head—"but no, thanks. I’m happy doing what I’m doing."
I look up at the stall when I hear the toilet flush, and then she walks out going to the sink. "You know," she says. "I’m not going to lie. I was shocked when I got your response." I get up from the bench and go to her as she turns the water off and then takes one of the white hand towels and dries her hands.
"I made him a promise I would be there on the happiest day of his life," I share with her, looking down and then blinking away the tears from that memory. "And I am a woman of my word." I look back at her, smiling. "For the most part."
"There is a reason that you came today." She grabs the phone from me. "I have no idea what it is, but it’s the universe telling you something."
I shake my head. "It’s probably the universe telling me I should have let sleeping dogs lie," I say, walking into the stall and going to the bathroom.
When I walk out, she is sitting on the bench, and she watches me while I wash my hands. "I don’t think that Jennifer was the one for him," she confides, and I stop my hands from rinsing under the water. "I know it’s a shitty thing to say, and I am not going to talk bad about her, but I just didn’t think that they loved each other." I turn off the water, trying to get my heart to calm down at this news. "I mean, I think he loved her but I don’t think he was in love with her."
I grab a towel and dry my hands. "Your brother wouldn’t marry anyone that he didn’t love. I might not know the man he is today." The burning now comes to fill my stomach. "But the man he was wouldn’t ask someone to marry him if he didn’t love her."
"I think, that before you leave"—she puts the phone back into her pocket—"I would have a talk with my brother. At least to clear some things up."
I shake my head. "Nothing to clear up. We were two young kids who dated ages ago." I don’t believe the words coming out of my mouth and I have a strong feeling that neither does Shelby. "We’ve moved on. The end." I put the towel into the basket at the side.
She shakes her head. "You really should at least clear the air."
"There is no air to clear." I put my hand to my stomach. "I came here to wish a friend well, and tomorrow I’ll be going back to my life, and he will continue with his."
"Okay," she says, not sounding convinced at all. "Shall we get back to the party?"
I pull open the door, and I hear the song "Hey Girl" come on, and I laugh when I hear the song start. I clap my hands when I get close to the table, and the girls look up at me. I take a glance at Travis, smile, and he brings his cup to his lips.
"Oh, now we start," Rachel says, taking the shot in front of her. "I lose this round." She takes another shot. "Time to line dance." She points at me, going to the dance floor. "Let’s see if I remember this."
She starts to move her feet, and she stumbles a bit. Everyone from the table is now on the dance floor. "Harlow," Shelby says. "Go in front, and we will follow you."
I laugh as I walk to the front and then start to move my feet, but with the heels, it’s hurting my feet, so I bend and untie the straps around my ankles and then start over. I look over at the DJ. "Can we start over?" He nods his head and starts the song again. "Okay, so you are going to walk right foot, left foot, shake shake." I shimmy my hips. "Shimmy shimmy." I move my hips from side to side. "And then triple step back. Repeating the steps again."
"I’m sorry," Frankie says. "You lost me at shimmy."
"Yeah, can you shimmy shimmy again?” Jake jokes, clapping his hands.
"Or we can change the song," Travis suggests. "Put on another song."
"Yes," Rachel says. "Put the ‘Cha-Cha Slide.’"
The DJ puts the song on, and everyone is moving at their own speed. No one is following anyone, and then the song goes into Usher, and now we are all dancing to our own beat. I walk back to the table to grab a drink, and so does Bennett. "It’s good to see you," he says, smiling at me.
"Is that the booze talking?" I ask him, grabbing a glass of water and downing it.
"Could be a bit of both," he confesses and takes a shot of tequila. The song changes to a slow one, and he holds out his hand to me. "May I have this dance?"
I bat my eyes at him. "Why, I would be honored." He drags me to the dance floor and puts his hand around my waist and holds my hand up.
We move side to side and then bump into Presley and Travis. "Yeah, this is wrong," Bennett says, letting me go and then grabbing Presley’s hand. "Now this." He wraps his arms around her. "This is so much better." He moves away from us, leaving Travis and me just standing here.
I shake my head. "That would be weird," I say to him, and he nods his head.
"Let’s get a drink," he offers and holds out his hand for me to lead the way, and I can feel his hand at the bottom of my back as he follows me to the bar.
"Two glasses of scotch." He holds up two fingers and sits on the stool beside me. I lean on the bar instead of sitting.
The bartender comes back in record time, putting the two glasses down on two white napkins. "You know what I didn’t expect today?" he asks, bringing his glass to his mouth.
"Not to get married?" I say, picking up my own glass and bringing it to my lips while he chuckles. The liquid is cool against my tongue yet burns all the way down. My eyes never leave his, and I see the little lines at the side of his eyes that weren’t there before. He’s older now, and I wonder if his lips taste like scotch. I wonder if I kissed him, would it be just like it was back then? I move my eyes away from him, scared that he will be able to read my thoughts.
"That." He points at me, putting his glass down. "And." He looks at his glass and then at me. "Seeing you."
Chapter 9
Travis
"You know what I didn’t expect today?" I sit on the stool holding the glass of scotch in my hand, taking a sip and then placing it down. She leans against the bar in front of me.
"Not to get married?" She picks up her glass, bringing it to her plump lips, and I can’t help the chuckle that comes out of me. She was always sassy and funny. She looks at me, and I can’t help but think about how it would be four years ago. For one, she wouldn’t be this far away from me, and two, my mouth would be on hers. She looks away from me, and I wonder if it’s because she’s seen what I’ve been thinking. Seeing her today has thrown me off-kilter. My life in black and white is now littered with color, and I know it is because of her.
