The Summer We Started Over, page 23
“I know. I mean, that’s what I hoped would happen, but I haven’t had a chance to think past tomorrow.”
“You really like living on Nantucket.”
“I do. It was hard when Dad moved us here and Mom was gone and of course Stearns…I don’t think I’ll ever have one day when I don’t think of Stearns. And Dad was getting odder and odder. As if he was trying to hide from life behind all those books. Eddie, when you came here, it was as if you changed gears for us, from idle to go. Like you reset our lives. Like now we are truly starting over. God, Eddie, what will we do when you’re gone? Plus, you can’t go with Dove and Bobby here.”
Eddie said softly, “Oh, Barrett.” She looked at her phone. “It’s four forty-five and it’s starting to rain.” She went to the door and turned the sign from open to closed. “Let’s go in the back room.”
“Want an iced tea?” Barrett asked. “I keep bottles in the refrigerator.” Barrett unfolded a canvas chair for herself and another for Eddie.
Eddie seated herself, opened her tea, and smiled at her sister.
Barrett sat, too. “So. When are you going back to the city?”
“I don’t know about going back to New York. Dinah hasn’t mentioned it. She told me she’s getting a lot of good writing done here, she’s more easily concocting complicated plots and characters.”
Barrett’s eyes lit up. “Maybe she wants to live here?”
“I don’t know. She never swims or goes to the beach, but she’s always in town, shopping—I’m sure she’s bought thousands of dollars’ worth of new clothes and jewelry. She’s made friends and she told me—this is the only thing she’s told me, we haven’t made any plans—she wants to stay on the island until January to enjoy the cranberry harvest and stroll.” Eddie laughed. “She told me she likes the air here.”
This was wonderful, Barrett thought. More than she’d hoped for. Eddie might stay through Christmas? She kept the lid on her reaction. “We do have some fine salt air.”
“But you’re right about Dove and Bobby. I don’t want to leave them here, with Dove so ill, and…with everything so unsettled.”
“And what about Jeff?” Barrett asked.
“I know.” Eddie looked pensive. “What about Jeff? I haven’t had a chance to talk to him privately about Bobby. I mean, it’s nearly September, and we’re all working our butts off. Contractors have their crews working long hours. So many people wanted new houses. New mansions. Guesthouses. Air-conditioned and humidity-controlled squash courts. Screening rooms like those in movie theaters, complete with seats that recline and cup holders for their drinks. Jeff is whipped at the end of the day.”
“I know. I’m straight out, too. But it’s kind of a good thing, really.” Barrett hugged herself as she spoke. “I never dreamed my shop would be so successful.”
* * *
—
Eddie missed seeing Jeff, but she understood. He was working long hours in the broiling sun. Usually he’d head home, take a shower, drink a beer, and eat whatever his mother left for him on the counter or in the refrigerator.
But their phone conversations lasted longer every day, until Jeff was yawning with exhaustion. Their conversations were loose, wandering talks, about all the little things, how their day went, how crazy the traffic was in the summer, how people cut cars off if they thought they were driven by summer people, how frightening it was when a family on bikes crossed the intersection without stopping to check right of way. Or they discussed the newest movie review by Anthony Lane in The New Yorker, the one magazine they both took, and yes, it was true, they had become hoarders, too, because the days weren’t long enough for them to read all the reviews, fiction, and op-ed pieces every week, so the magazines piled up on their bedside tables. Maybe someday they’d be moved to the Book Barn. They talked about movies they wanted to see again, like My Cousin Vinny, especially to see the courtroom scene with Marisa Tomei, or Armageddon, especially to see Steve Buscemi on a nuclear bomb, or Christopher Walken in anything, especially his dance video, and why it was that some people were just cool, and other people could never be cool, no matter what they did. They talked about Barrett and her store, and Dove and Bobby, and her father and Dinah, who often spoke with each other at length at the kitchen table, until William looked embarrassed and went harrumph and left the table, walked into his study, and firmly shut the door.
Eddie understood how she and Jeff were like teenagers, not wanting to hang up the phone, to say good night, to separate, to lose the sweet slight sounds of breath and the mysteriously profound pleasure of the other’s voice.
Jeff never nudged her into thoughts of the future, but Eddie would wonder into the night: What were her thoughts for the future? She was almost thirty. She’d always balked at the thought of having children. She’d loved her crazy, super-busy city life with Dinah. But Dinah had changed. She often took her laptop to the Book Barn to work, and if customers came in, Dinah would help them. Dinah also had never put on a bathing suit and swum at Surfside, or anywhere. She hadn’t gone walking on the winding paths through the moors or in the slightly soggy trails through Squam Swamp. But she was happy with life on the island, Eddie thought. Dinah went to all the plays, movies, concerts, and galas she was invited to, and she was invited to them all, once the organization realized who she was and how much she could give.
But her life shouldn’t depend on Dinah, Eddie thought. What did Eddie want to do? Where did she want to live? How did she want to live her life?
Right now, it all depended on Dove. Some days Dove rallied and everyone was optimistic. But more often, Dove spent the day in bed.
Eddie wrote in her journal every day. She knew she was finding escape and even solace in writing, but her thoughts raced through her mind and her heart was overflowing with emotions.
sixteen
Saturday evening, Barrett went home early to shower and dress for the gala. Eddie did her hair and makeup, and Barrett wore a sleek slip dress in turquoise with turquoise and diamond earrings that Dinah had loaned her for the evening.
Paul arrived, looking amazing in a navy blazer that pulled at his wide shoulders, a white shirt, and white ducks. He was all cleaned up and shaved, more sophisticated than she’d ever seen him.
The yacht club was crowded. Beautiful people in fabulous clothes drifted through the high-ceilinged rooms and out onto the grassy lawn leading down to the water. They drank icy vodka tonics and cut through the crowd to view the auction items laid out on long tables covered with immaculate white tablecloths. In the background, a live jazz band played. Waiters passed through the crowd with platters of crab cakes and tuna tartare. The very air they breathed was special, spicy from sea salt and expensive perfumes.
Barrett and Paul recognized some of the crowd. Connie Higgins, recently retired from the Nantucket Select Board, and Martin Malcolm, new member of the board, were there, Connie looking serene as always, Martin looking as brilliant as he was. Heather and Miles Hunter were there with Kailee and Ross Willette. Barrett caught some of the crush studying her and Paul, and she gave a moment of mental thanks to Dinah for loaning her the jewelry and to Eddie, who’d insisted Barrett wear her Christian Louboutin high heels.
Barrett leaned against Paul and asked, “How many billions of dollars are walking around this room right now?”
Paul smiled. “None of them is as happy as I am, here with you.”
She couldn’t take her eyes from him. “Oh.” She drew closer to him, almost pressing herself against him. “I’m happy, too.”
Annie Gardner, a small blonde in a red dress, and a friend, brushed Barrett’s side. “Behave,” she teased as she passed by.
Barrett laughed and detached herself from her date. “Let’s go look at the auction items,” she suggested, holding Paul’s hand.
The silent auction was laid out on long tables running the length of two walls. People could write their bid on a pad next to the article, adding the number they’d gotten when they entered the gala. Some of the donated items were in place. A gold lightship basket from Jewel in the Sea. An indigo silk shawl from Vis-a-Vis. A rainbow fleet men’s belt from Murray’s Toggery. Other donations were virtual. Two nights and days at Greydon House. Dinner for four at Le Languedoc. A twilight cruise on the tall ship Lynx.
A spectacular, foot-high, topaz-hued statue of Poseidon rising from the sea.
“Oh, look!” Barrett said, nudging Paul. “That’s almost as beautiful as the statues you make.”
“That’s because I made it,” Paul told her, trying to look cool.
Barrett gasped. “Really?”
“Really.”
“I’m going to bid on it!” Barrett told him.
She squeezed through the mob to stand in front of the statue.
The paper tablet in front of the statue held a list of bids already made. The largest was for three thousand.
“Three thousand dollars?” Barrett was stunned.
A woman standing next to her said, “I think it’s worth that much, if not more. Look at the detail work. The waves parting as Poseidon rises. And his beard.” Gently nudging Barrett aside, she bent and bid three thousand five hundred.
Paul whispered, “Let’s get some air.”
He led her through the throng out to the lawn and along the brick walk down to the benches overlooking the harbor. The buzz of conversation and a few notes from the jazz band drifted down to the water.
“Paul,” Barrett said. “Good Lord! I had no idea.”
“I’ve been carving since I was a kid. I’m fascinated by the figureheads on ships. It’s been done for centuries, in all countries that sail the seas. They bring luck and protection. Someday I want to do large-scale carving.”
“How would you do something as large as a figurehead?”
“I’d need a studio, of course. I rent a garage now.”
“But the beautiful carvings you bring to my shop. You could sell them for so much more in art galleries.”
“No. I want them to be sold only in Nantucket Blues. This way I get to see you.”
Barrett nudged him. “You can always see me.”
“Not the way I’d like to see you. Not with any privacy. I live with my parents. Lame, I know.”
“Why? I live with my parents. Well, my father. But it’s good for both of us. Someday I’ll be able to buy a small house, or have one built on our property. Half the people I know live with their parents. How can we afford to buy a house when doctors and teachers can’t? This island has been taken over by billionaires.”
Paul shrugged. “Yeah, but not its heart. Not its soul.”
Barrett gazed up at Paul, flooded with emotion, deep desire, crazy lust, joy mixed with terror. She whispered, “That’s lovely.”
He turned toward her, pulled her close, and kissed her for a long time.
“Okay, boys and girls, let’s move this show somewhere else.”
Barrett glanced up. Her friend Annie was coming down the path toward them.
“Who made you the party police?”
Annie sat down on the bench, squeezing Barrett closer to Paul.
“Look at this view. Amazing. Several people are wandering down this way to see it, and I thought I’d better warn you before you became the view.”
Before Barrett or Paul could respond, voices drifted through the warm night air and a small crowd arrived, some with drinks in their hands, some chattering like parrots, and one woman complaining about her daughter-in-law’s lack of manners.
“Thank you,” Barrett said to Annie.
“Yeah, thanks, Annie.” Paul leaned across Barrett. “Where’s Marcus tonight?”
“Over on Tuckernuck,” Annie said, mentioning a wild island west of Nantucket. “He hates these parties. I came with Linda. It’s fun to get dressed up. Plus, the finger food. So good.”
The three sat together companionably while the crowd around them buzzed and chortled.
“Why is it,” Barrett asked, “that when you’re alone or with one special person instead of with a group, the night seems more mysterious, more…magical?”
“I think it has to do with that one special person,” Paul told her.
“He’s right.” Annie kissed Barrett’s cheek. “You look gorgeous tonight. Have fun.” She headed back to the clubhouse.
“Let’s walk,” Paul suggested.
Holding hands, they left the party and strolled down to Children’s Beach. For a while they didn’t talk, but simply sat on benches, watching the boats come and go.
Paul kissed her again.
She pulled away. “Paul, wait. I think I need to tell you something…I don’t know how to say this…it’s just that…well, maybe you know, I’ve been…seeing Janny’s brother. Drew. I’ve been…I only met him this summer…and I’ve seen him…but I haven’t…” She didn’t know how to say it.
Paul nodded. “I understand. I’ve been seeing other women. Not Janny, though. I went to the gala with her, but that’s it. I’m working hard this summer. I know you are.” He paused. “Barrett, I’d like to stop seeing anyone else. I’d like to be with you. Just you.”
“I’d like that, too.” Barrett had trouble catching her breath.
“Don’t worry,” Paul told her. “It’s summer. We’re slammed. We won’t be able to do much more than work and sleep. But September isn’t far away.”
Barrett laughed, from nervous energy and excitement and embarrassment. “Oh, Paul, I sound like a child. I promise I’m a grown-up. I’m just…What I feel for you is so huge I can’t really deal with it, I mean, not now.”
“I know,” Paul said. “Me, too. But we’ve got all the time in the world.”
* * *
—
Sunday morning was hot and sunny, with only a light breeze. Barrett gave Eddie a quick report on her night with Paul and went off to her shop, smiling all the way. Eddie spent some time with Dove, who was having a good day and wanted to go to Children’s Beach with Bobby. William and Dinah said they’d drop off Dove and Bobby, buy the Times and the Globe at the Hub, pick up sandwiches at Something Natural, and share a picnic lunch with Dove and Bobby.
Eddie drifted out to the Book Barn. The air shimmered with heat. The horse was on the far end of the field with her head stuck into a bush. Eddie assumed that made her, or at least her head, cooler. She wouldn’t mind sticking her head into a bush, too. The shadowy barn was cooler than the open air, but still warm.
She went into the house, found a small electric fan, and brought it out to the barn. It moved the heavy air in a rotating breeze. She returned to the house and crawled behind the sofa in the living room. Her father stored some of his older books here. The Tao of Physics by Fritjof Capra. Three heavy tomes by Simon Schama. Ulysses by James Joyce. The Complete Works of Lord Byron: Including His Suppressed Poems. The books were lined up the length of the sofa, and they were all covered with dust. Eddie whipped out her phone and snapped a photo. If her father complained, she’d have proof that he hadn’t even looked at them recently.
She carried them out to the barn and shelved them wherever she could find a gap. Few people had stopped by in the past week. Eddie thought they were either working or cooling off on the beach. She checked the special section of Dinah Lavender’s books. Eddie had read some of them, but Dinah had published over a hundred, so Eddie had a lot to choose from, and right now she needed something light and frothy to occupy her mind.
She’d just settled in with The Seduction of Sadie when a truck came down the drive. It looked like Jeff’s truck. It was his truck. She ran her hands through her hair, hoping to shake out any dust from the books, and went out to meet him.
“Hey. I brought you something.” Jeff held out an iced mocha cappuccino from Espresso to Go. “I thought you might need it.”
Eddie reached both hands out, grabbed Jeff’s T-shirt, and pulled him to her. She kissed him thoroughly. “I need you.”
“You’ve got me, Eddie.” Jeff released her and pulled her into the shade of the barn. “Vinnie gave us the day off. What’s up?”
“Do you have a moment to talk?”
“I do.”
They settled on the chairs and sipped their coffees.
Eddie spoke all in a rush. “I-I told you Dove is here, with Bobby. I told you that she’s really sick. She says she’s dying, and she won’t see a doctor, and some days she’s better than other days, but Jeff, she wants me to adopt Bobby.”
“And you,” Jeff said very quietly, “you’ll be moving back to New York with Dinah.” Before Eddie could respond, he said, “I get it. Dinah’s wonderful. She’s nice and lives a fabulous life.”
“I don’t know, Jeff.” Eddie couldn’t meet his eyes. “I haven’t talked it over with Dinah, but of course I would stay here with Bobby, no matter what Dinah does. It’s Bobby I’m worried about. I don’t how to be a mother, Jeff. You know how I feel. It’s why I moved away.”
“Can you imagine staying on the island?” Jeff asked.
“Oh, Jeff,” Eddie said. “I’m afraid.”
Jeff set his coffee on the table between them. He reached over and took her hand. “Can you leave the barn for a while? I want to show you something.”
Eddie walked with him to his truck, her heart pounding.
She knew he was taking her to Tom Nevers Head, to see his house.
The traffic was congested at the rotary, with lines streaming down Old South Road and Milestone Road in both lanes. Once they were near the turn to Tom Nevers Head, the road cleared and they were in a lane of lush green grass and the glossy jade of tupelo trees. Eddie hadn’t seen all the new houses and roads in this area. The landscapers had been careful to leave the mature trees and bushes, so the houses were set back in their own private forests. She caught glimpses of handsome new houses, small, large, and huge, behind the trees and shrubbery.
