Shipyard Girls at War, page 29
Hannah looked up at Rosie and the pair of them let out a splutter of laughter.
‘It wasn’t meant to be a joke,’ Dorothy huffed.
‘It was something me and Rosie were chatting about earlier on,’ Hannah tried to explain.
‘Rosie and I,’ corrected Dorothy, before quickly adding, ‘So what were you talking about?’
‘Let’s get our drinks in and sit down and we’ll tell you,’ Rosie said.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Tuesday 17 June 1941
‘So, you seeing Maria again any time soon?’ Polly asked her brother as she helped herself to a plate of her mother’s tripe and liver hotpot from the stove. She’d just got in from work and was starving, as she always was at the end of her shift – even more so if she had done a few hours’ overtime. There was now a constant pressure at the yard to get work done as quickly as possible, but Rosie had told them that they had to start to pace themselves, as this was going to carry on for a good while yet.
And Polly had to agree. It certainly didn’t look as if the war would be ending soon – and so the desperate need for a constant supply of merchant ships would continue. It looked as though they would be in it for the long haul, and that the Americans would be getting involved. There had been a lot of talk amongst the workforce after yesterday’s announcement on the BBC home news service that the United States had taken the decision to freeze all German and Italian assets.
Polly sat down at the table, giving her supper a good coating of salt and pepper. Joe was finishing off a game of tiddlywinks he was playing with Lucille before her bedtime. He was then heading straight off for his Home Guard duties, which were now taking up most of his evenings, and sometimes meant he was out all night.
‘I tell you what, Pol,’ he said, as one of his little cardboard discs fell wide of its mark, much to Lucille’s glee, ‘if you ever stop working in the yards, you could always set up as the town’s official matchmaker.’
‘Joe,’ Polly said, forking a piece of liver and blowing on it, ‘I’m your sister. I have a right to know.’
Joe let loose a caustic laugh just as Bel came in from the back yard. She’d just been sorting out a mound of towels and sheets that were now dry and ready to be folded up.
‘I swear that laundry basket is bottomless … Anyway, what’s this I’ve just caught about “matchmaking”?’
A mischievous look came across Polly’s face. ‘I’m trying to wangle it out of Joe, whether or not love is in the air, and if he’s going to see Maria again. But he’s being very evasive.’
‘I’m not being evasive,’ Joe said, watching as Lucille sneaked in a second attempt at potting her tiddlywink, thinking that he hadn’t noticed, ‘I just like to have some kind of privacy in my life, which is not easy living in a house full of nosy women.’
Polly tucked into her dinner as Joe told Lucille their game was a draw and it was time for bed. His comments were met with the usual moans, but the little girl was tired, and happily put her arms up for Joe to lift her up and carry her to bed.
‘I’ll do her bedtime story tonight, Joe,’ Bel said. ‘You best get yourself off. You don’t want to be late for duty.’
Joe was looking smart in his Home Guard uniform, which he always made sure was spotlessly clean and pressed. He was carrying Lucille with one arm and had his walking stick in the other as he made his way out of the kitchen.
‘You’re right. I’d best get off. I’ll just tuck this little girl in.’
Bel followed Joe into her bedroom and watched as he popped her daughter into her cot and wrapped her blanket around her. Just then Tramp came trotting in, making a beeline for the little bed and sticking her wet nose through the wooden railings. Lucille rolled over and stretched her arm out so that she could pat the dog’s head. ‘Night night, Trampie.’ Happy with the show of love, the dog turned and scampered off back to Agnes, who had just come back from Beryl’s, where she had been for a cuppa and a catch-up.
Bel stood and looked at Joe and Lucille as they went through their usual goodnight banter. Anyone watching, who didn’t know the family, would most certainly presume they were father and daughter. For a short moment Bel wondered if Teddy would mind their closeness. Or whether he would just be pleased that his brother and his daughter had formed such a close bond.
As Joe and Bel said their final goodnights to Lucille, they shut the bedroom door. Bel waited for Joe to fetch his gas mask, haversack and helmet before she saw him off at the front door.
‘So, are you going to see Maria again?’ The words were out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them.
Joe looked at her in surprise.
‘Well … Mm … to be honest, Bel, I’m not sure.’ He seemed a little flustered. ‘I suppose it’s finding the time …’ His voice trailed off as he leant on his stick to step down on to the pavement.
‘Eee, I’m worse than Pol,’ Bel said, wishing she had never opened her mouth. ‘Just tell me to mind my own business. And take care tonight. Fingers crossed it’s another quiet one.’
Joe smiled and turned to walk down Tatham Street.
As Bel shut the door, she leant against it for a moment before she went back into the hustle and bustle of the kitchen. She could hear Agnes and Polly chatting and then her mother’s very distinctive gravelly voice. She had been out in the back yard chatting away to a widower called Ronald who lived in the house directly behind them. He was a smoker, and her mother was always cadging cigarettes off him.
‘You all right there, flower?’ It was Arthur, slowly making his way down the stairs. He usually liked to make an appearance at this time and have a bite to eat with everyone. ‘You look a million miles away.’
Bel smiled at the old man. She had felt comfortable with Arthur from the start when Polly and his grandson had just begun courting. It had been thanks to Arthur that she had got to know about the love triangle of Gloria, Jack and Miriam, and learnt that he was worried the same might happen with Polly, Tommy and Helen.
‘I’m fine, Arthur. Just thinking,’ she said.
The old man laughed. ‘Never a good thing.’
As they both headed into the kitchen, Bel thought how many a word said in jest was actually very true. She did have a tendency to think too much. It was just that, at the moment, she felt as if her head was all over the place. She was saying things she didn’t want to say, and she couldn’t understand why she was reacting to certain situations in the way she was. Perhaps it was all still part of the grieving process. Her world had been turned upside down and she was finding her feet again.
But it didn’t explain why her immediate reaction to the possibility that Joe might start courting Maria was one of disappointment. It was almost as if she was jealous of Maria – which was absurd, wasn’t it?
She should have felt glad for Joe. Pleased for him. He was a handsome man, was great with children – or at least with Lucille – and he was still young.
And besides which, Joe was not cut out to be a bachelor all his life, that much she did know.
Joe had got a tram from Tatham Street into town and then got on a bus at the Park Lane depot which would take him to Hetton-Le-Hole, a small town almost exactly halfway between Sunderland and Durham.
Tonight his mission was to teach the members of this town’s particular unit, made up mainly of farmers and miners, how to use the .300 rifles and bayonets that had been provided to them by the Yanks.
Tonight, like on previous occasions, he would be picked up by another ‘Home Guard’ soldier when he got off the bus, and then taken in a lorry or truck to a patch of local woodland on the outskirts of the town called Rough Dene, where the Auxiliary Unit Operational Base could be found.
The concealed underground structure, built by the 184th Tunnelling Co. Royal Engineers, had a camouflaged entrance and emergency escape tunnel. Joe had been amazed to learn that there were already several secret tunnels and bunkers in place across the county, and around five hundred such bases dotted about Great Britain.
He’d also been heartened by the level of subterfuge already in place should Jerry manage to cross the Channel and invade their shores. Since he had been conscripted to the Auxiliary Units six weeks ago, Joe had learnt a lot about the government’s specially trained and highly secret teams of civilians, who had been taught how to use guns, make explosives, carry out ambushes, and commit sabotage in order to fight a larger but less mobile traditional army.
Major Black had told Joe that it might seem like role-playing to men like themselves who had been on the front line and seen it all for real, but that if their beloved country was occupied, then they really did need to be prepared.
Joe had agreed wholeheartedly. If they couldn’t fight abroad, then the least they could do was to be prepared for battle if – and when – Hitler decided it was time to try to conquer their country.
‘If the worst happens it will be highly dangerous. The projected life expectancy of a member of the unit is just twelve days. If capture by an enemy force seems likely, then members are expected to shoot themselves rather than be caught.’
Joe had taken the major’s words on board, but had decided that if Jerry did invade, he would not be killing himself. There were no two ways about it, he’d do anything and everything – fight to the bitter end – for every member of his family.
Which brought his mind back to Bel.
As Joe started out on his bus journey, he was glad to have some time on his own. He wanted and needed some peace and quiet to think. He hadn’t been surprised that Polly had asked him about Maria. She was his sister, after all, and it went without saying that she knew no boundaries as such; but he had been taken aback when Bel had also asked him about whether or not he was going to take Maria out. In fact, he had been totally flummoxed.
What should he have said? That he wanted her and not Maria. That his heart was with her and always would be?
As the bus trundled out of town and the view changed from houses to miles of farmland and fields, Joe told himself that it was time to stop his obsession with Bel. It had gone on long enough. He had a choice now: he could mope around his whole life, mooning privately for someone he simply could not have, or he could get out there and meet someone else – had already met someone else – who would make a lovely wife. Maria.
They had already courted for a year before the war. They got on well; they even made each other laugh. And there was no doubt she was a very attractive young woman. And Maria had never hidden the fact that she was more than sweet on him. Before he had gone to war she had told him that she loved him, and there had been a part of him that loved her back. At the time he had argued with himself that it wasn’t the right kind of love, that he wanted the kind of love he had seen between his brother and Bel, but in the end he’d had to admit he was kidding himself, and that it was Bel he really wanted.
But Bel had only ever had eyes for Teddy. It was Teddy who Bel had chosen to love.
Now he had to finally accept that his love for Bel was not reciprocated.
He must give the love he had with Maria a chance.
He owed it to himself – and to Maria.
As the bus slowly pulled into the small terminal in the centre of Hetton-Le-Hole, Joe made a resolution: he was going to ask Maria out.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
A week later, June 1941
‘Quiet Wedding! Oh, I’m so jealous!’ Bel exclaimed. ‘I sooo wanted to see that. I’ve seen the posters and it looks fabulous!’ She ended the sentence in a put-on, haughty, upper-class accent.
Polly looked at her sister-in-law and wondered if she’d had a tipple or two, as her reaction to Joe’s cinema date with Maria was a little over the top.
Joe shuffled awkwardly in the kitchen doorway, unsure whether to sit down at the table or head straight off to bed.
It had already gone ten and he had been up most of the previous night with the Auxiliary Unit in town. They had been making sure the various bunkers in the area were stocked up with canned and preserved food, should they have to go underground if an invasion were to become reality. But more than his need to catch up on his sleep was his desire to avoid any kind of cross-examination about his first date with Maria.
The film had been Maria’s suggestion when he had gone to see her to ask her out. She had told him it had been released a couple of months before, and had been made despite the production studios being bombed five times; it had been this which had piqued his interest, but when he had found out that it was about a young couple on the eve of their marriage, he’d felt a little nervous.
‘Was it good?’ Bel continued. Her excitement showed no signs of abating. ‘Was Derek Farr as dashing as he was in Freedom Radio? Oh … and was Margaret Lockwood as gorgeous as she looks in the magazines?’
Joe looked at Bel perplexed. He had no idea what Freedom Radio was all about – could only presume it was another movie – and he guessed the ‘gorgeous’ woman was the actress playing the part of the fiancée.
‘Mm.’ Joe scratched his head a little nervously.
‘Honestly, Bel, I think you and I are going to have to go out some time. You’re spending too much time cooped up in this house, up to your armpits in laundry and children. Why don’t we go and see the film together later on this week?’ Polly suggested.
Bel clapped her hands together as softly as possible, as Lucille was fast asleep next door; she had had a real job getting her to sleep as Joe wasn’t around to tuck her in, and she was sure her daughter had become even more grizzly when she had heard them discussing Joe’s date with Maria over tea.
‘Yes, Polly! I’d love that!’ she said, eyes wide open. Polly thought Bel looked slightly manic and resolved to make sure they did in fact make it out at the weekend.
‘I do love a good wedding!’ Bel added, before looking at Joe and asking, ‘I’m guessing they do get married in the end?’
Joe laughed and yawned at the same time. ‘You will have to go and see it yourself and find out. Anyway, I’m off to bed. See you both in the morning.’
After Joe had backed out of the kitchen and hobbled to his room, Polly whispered across to Bel, ‘I wonder how it went? Do you think they’re going to see each other again?’ Then she immediately answered her own question. ‘I don’t see why not. They were both really keen on each other before Joe joined up.’
Polly looked at Bel conspiratorially. ‘Interesting choice of film, don’t you think? Quiet Wedding? Ma might finally get those grandchildren she’s after.’
‘God, Pol. Let’s concentrate on your wedding first. Then perhaps you can give your ma those grandchildren,’ Bel replied.
For some reason the thought of Polly getting married was far preferable to any potential nuptials between Joe and Maria.
Bel was lying wide awake in bed, and had been doing so for at least a few hours, listening to the gentle breathing of her daughter in the cot next to her bed, and keeping half an ear out in case Joe had a night terror and started shouting out.
Since the first time she had gone into his bedroom to wake him a few months ago, whenever she had heard him screaming out in his sleep from a bad nightmare, she had gone to him and gently woken him up.
After he had joined up with the Home Guard, though, his nightmares seemed to have lessened dramatically. In fact, only one time since then had Bel had to softly bring him out of his horror-laced slumber.
She was pleased he seemed to be on the mend – in all ways. He no longer needed his wound dressed, as it had now just about completely healed but, oddly enough, Bel had to admit to herself that there was a part of her that missed caring for Joe; which was absurd as she had hated it at first – had felt so much resentment towards him, had been so angry. But since she had let go of that awful, mind-altering grief, it hadn’t bothered her.
And that is when the irony hit her like a slap in the face: now that she was happy to look after Joe, he didn’t need caring for. And just as she was getting used to having him around, and was actually enjoying his company, he was out and about all the time.
Was this why she had acted like a complete loony tonight when he’d got back from the flicks?
This evening she had gone into some kind of hyperactive state. Talk about overreacting. But what was even harder to understand was that she was not the least bit interested in seeing the film. Everything that had come out of her mouth had been false, which was so unlike her – apart from what she had said to Polly about wanting to see her married and have children. This she couldn’t wait for.
So, why did she feel so completely different about Joe getting hitched and starting a family?
Polly was her sister-in-law and Joe her brother-in-law, so logically there should be no difference.
But there was.
And she could not deny it.
As Bel continued to lie there, staring at the ceiling, the most frightening thought started to creep into her head.
Was she starting to have feelings for Joe?
Please God no.
No.
This could not be.
Could never be.
Was wrong.
And with this thought – this heart-stopping realisation – Bel’s world seemed to spin off its axis for the second time that year.
Chapter Forty
Wednesday 25 June 1941
‘Where’s Rosie?’ Gloria asked. As usual she had joined the women for lunch. They had all brought packed lunches as the weather was now behaving as it should and it was warm enough for them to sit out and have their sandwiches. Today there was a slight chill coming in from the North Sea, but it was as nothing compared to the bitter, harsh winter they had just had to endure.
‘I think I saw her disappearing into the drawing office about half an hour ago and she hasn’t resurfaced since then. I wonder what she’s been up to in there,’ Dorothy said, taking a bite of her sandwich and wrinkling her nose.
