Shadows and Light: The Complete Series, page 68
Calista could feel their eyes on her. In fact, the entire diner was staring. As Adam’s warmth ignited every cell in her body, she remained immobile. For the first time in her life, she had no idea what to do.
“Aren’t you going to even look at me?” he asked, his breath caressing the tender skin at her neck.
“No, I don’t think so.”
He let out a deep chuckle. “Why?”
“It’s easier this way.”
“Calista, please turn around.”
“No. When do you leave again?”
He moved in closer and his voice grew rough. “I’m not leaving. I’m here to stay.”
And I don’t believe you screamed in her head as her gaze landed on his fisted hands at his side. His entire body trembled as his fingers turned almost white from the clenching fist. Adam was holding it together by a thin thread.
Four months ago, she would have drawn him into her arms and held him until he relaxed. In fact, she had dreamed of this moment a hundred times over the last few weeks. Of course in her dreams, she was wearing something incredibly sexy instead of a washed out t-shirt and there weren’t twenty-five people watching her every move, or in this case, lack of movement.
“If you can’t look at me, then answer Anna’s question.”
The tears building in her throat let loose and streamed silently down her cheek.
Damn man! He had no right to do this to her again.
Calista took the sheet of paper, and with care, folded it in half. She fought to stay calm as her finger traced over the fold. She didn’t know how many times her finger ran back and forth across the sheet of paper before Adam placed his hand over hers.
“I know I have no right to ask, but I need your answer.”
Calista sucked in a breath, closed her eyes, and said the first thing that came to mind. “You are such a dumbshit, Adam Blake. After everything we have been through, how could you not know the answer?”
The next instant, he swirled her around and lifted her into his arms. Calista wrapped her arms around his neck and held on as tightly as Anna had only moments earlier. Burying her face into his shoulder, his spicy scent surrounded her as the pent-up sobs took over. Adam cradled her head against his chest until the sobs slowed.
Grabbing a fistful of napkins from the dispenser, she eased back and dabbed her eyes. “What happened? How are you here?”
He brought his lips over her eyes and rained kisses down her cheek until he was only inches from her mouth. “They decided I was more valuable to them on the outside then behind bars.” He gave Thomas McNeil a quick nod. “And some powerful people came to bat for me.”
“I don’t understand, Adam. How are you free and why in the hell didn’t anyone tell me this was in the works,” she said, glaring at Thomas and Jared.
“There were so many ways the deal could have gone to hell. I didn’t want you to get your hopes up and end up being hurt again.” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “I’m sorry.”
Heat began to rise in Calista’s cheeks. She tried to push the disquieting thoughts from her mind, but they erupted without warning. “What are you sorry for, Adam? Are you sorry you never mentioned to me that you could be placed in a cell next to Ludis?” She clinched her hands into a fist. “Or are you sorry for not having enough faith in me, not believing I had the strength to stand by you no matter what?” Calista covered her face with her hands and rested her head against his chest.
Don’t cry again, God, please don’t cry again.
“Which one is it? What are you sorry for?”
“All of it, Calista, and none of it.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Adam cupped her head in his hands. He caressed her forehead with his lips then rested his head on hers. “I’m not sorry for the time we spent together. If all that crap didn’t happen, you wouldn’t be standing in my arms. I’m sure as hell not sorry that you wedged yourself so deep into my heart, I can’t tell where I begin and you end. As for not trusting you or believing you would stand by me, that’s bullshit” His gaze darted to his daughter and he lowered his voice, “That’s crazy. You are the bravest person I have ever known. You went at Ludis with a damn twig.”
He lifted her chin so they were eye to eye. “And I trusted you with Anna, trusted you to love her and help her understand how much Rina loved her. I trust you to help me keep her mother alive in her heart.” He brought his lips down for a quick, but tender kiss. When he broke the kiss, his eyes grew a deeper shade of blue. “Don’t ever accuse me of not having faith in you. I have never believed in anyone like I believe in you.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and let out a noisy sigh. “I didn’t tell you about the possible arrest because I just couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t want to hurt you. I hurt Rina and I can’t ever take that back, but I can be different this time.” With his thumb, he swiped the tears off her cheek. “I never want to make you cry again.”
Calista took in a cleansing breath and tried to calm her racing heart. So many questions plagued her, but one stood out. “What was so important on that damn tape?”
Adam tore his gaze away from her and stared out the window. “Does it really matter now?”
“Yes, after everything we went through, after what Ludis did …”
“Right before Annija’s death, my grandfather made the decision to go completely legit for his daughter. He sent her to a rival family baptism to broker a deal. He was no longer in the business, no longer a threat. Ludis stormed the celebration and killed almost everyone in the church. It was all recorded. Annija survived the massacre, believing her father set her up. She grabbed the camera and ran.” Adam turned and faced Calista. “I think she was leaving her family for good and had nowhere else to go but to my parents. The disk was proof that Ludis orchestrated the whole thing on his own.”
Calista brought her hands over her mouth. “Good God, why?”
“You know the answer, Calista.” He removed her hands, bringing them to his lips. “It’s over. Ludis will never hurt anyone again.” He paused a moment then said, “What else is bothering you?”
“What deal?”
“I have agreed to work for them.”
“Who are them?”
“The guys at Langley.”
“More secrets?”
“Not to you, never again to you, Calista.” He massaged the tender area behind her ears. “I’m going to oversee training field operatives in areas that I specialize. I have given up my passports, agreeing to stay stateside until they can trust me again.”
“That’s it? You have to stay here?”
Her mind raced trying to figure out what the hell was so wrong. It sounded perfect to her. “What are you not telling me? I hear this huge but.”
Calista had no idea why she asked the question. Maybe she just wanted a little heads up. It really didn’t matter what he said because she wasn’t going to allow fear of the unknown to chase away Adam Blake. She could deal with anything with Adam at her side.
“It just means that if you had dreams of honeymooning in Paris or some other romantic European or Far Eastern location, it can’t happen if you marry me. And that’s what I want. I need you as my wife, my life partner because I’m so damn in love with you, Calista Martin. I took the deal not because I had to, but because there is nowhere else I want to be. I’ve kept my emotions hidden for so long that I just don’t know how to express them, but I’m a fast learner. I will not stay clueless for long.” He reached for the sugar jar on the counter and placed it in front of her. “In the meantime, you can keep this close.”
Letting out a tearful laugh, Calista pushed the sugar jar out of reach and wrapped her arms around Adam’s middle. The sadness that surrounded her the last several weeks drained away, filling her heart with such overwhelming happiness, she didn’t know how she could possibly contain it.
Adam’s heart beat steady and strong against her cheek as his warm hands traced a pattern up and down her spine. She slid her arms up over his neck and tangled her fingers into the thick curls that rested at his collar. Pulling his head down, she moved her lips over his, flicking her tongue along his lower lip. He sucked in a breath and took control.
The clinking sounds of plates, odors from bacon frying, and the familiar voices of a diner full of customers disappeared. At that moment, Adam was her world. While his mouth explored hers, taking everything she was so willing to give, he brought his arms around her waist, lifting her until there wasn’t anything but a layer of clothing separating them.
Adam consumed her, marking her as his possession. If she ever had doubted how Adam felt about her, he had just burned those doubts into oblivion.
As much as Calista never wanted the moment to come to an end, a child’s voice calling her name broke through and she reluctantly ended the kiss. Anna stood next to her, her hand tugging on Calista’s arm.
Calista swallowed as she untangled her arms and body from around the child’s father. Heat rushed into her cheeks, but she refused to glance at the stares from several adults who just got a front seat view of the one of the best make-out sessions she ever had.
One glance at Adam’s expression and she knew it took every ounce of self-control not to burst out laughing at her. She shot him a quick glare and pinched the sensitive area at his waist. He was just too damn pleased with himself.
Clearing her throat, she glanced down at Anna. She didn’t know what to say so she just stayed quiet. The four-year-old didn’t wait long to let her know what was so important.
“Is Daddy done telling you he is sorry?”
Biting back a laugh, Calista nodded, her gaze meeting Adam’s. If possible, he tightened his hold on her.
“Then is the problem that you had to fix over?”
“Yes, I guess it is.” What a difference a few minutes could make.
Anna let out an exasperated sigh. “Then can we please leave?”
Adam lifted his daughter up into his arms and they both hugged her tight. The restaurant erupted into laughter. Instead of hiding her face in Adam’s shoulder, she faced her friends and family. This time, the smile on her lips was a real, heart-beaming smile she felt in her toes.
Anna squirmed out of her father’s hold and climbed onto the stool. “One thing first,” she said, reaching for Calista’s pen. She unfolded the sheet of paper and scratched out her father’s name. In large, block letters, she wrote his name next to hers. When done, she set the pen back on the counter and glanced up at them. “That’s better. We’re all together now.”
Adam pulled her back into his arms as he held Calista close. His tear-filled eyes scanned his family. “That’s right, baby girl. We’re all together,” he said, taking Calista’s mouth for one more scorching kiss, a promise for what was to come.
This time, the kiss was interrupted with the cling at the door. Calista broke off the kiss. Father Anthony stood with his hands on his hips. Adam stepped away and pulled his best friend into a hug.
The priest gave Calista a quick smile. “So when am I performing the vows? After what I just witnessed, I figured you don’t want to wait long.”
Before Calista could find her tongue, Adam slapped the priest on his back.
“Today, after the zoo, or tomorrow at the latest.”
In the Shadow of Pride
Nancy C. Weeks
Avon, Massachusetts
Copyright © 2014 by Nancy Crisp Weeks.
All rights reserved.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher; exceptions are made for brief excerpts used in published reviews.
Published by
Crimson Romance
an imprint of F+W Media, Inc.
10151 Carver Road, Suite 200
Blue Ash, OH 45242. U.S.A.
www.crimsonromance.com
ISBN 10: 1-4405-8031-6
ISBN 13: 978-1-4405-8031-4
eISBN 10: 1-4405-8032-4
eISBN 13: 978-1-4405-8032-1
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, corporations, institutions, organizations, events, or locales in this novel are either the product of the author's imagination or, if real, used fictitiously. The resemblance of any character to actual persons (living or dead) is entirely coincidental.
Cover art © 123RF/Jo Ann Snover and iStock.com/Wavebreak
I dedicate this book with all my heart to the woman who taught me life’s greatest lesson, how to love. I passed that love onto my own children and all those who have crossed my path. Mom Purty, my angel, you are always in my heart and I miss you every day.
Acknowledgments
I have so many people to thank who helped me get this book out. First and foremost, to Ed, Martin, and Megan, I can’t thank you enough for your support and excitement for this new adventure in my life. You fuel me and make me strive to be a better person. I love you!
Julie Sturgeon, my wonderful editor, I love working with you. Your brilliant insights, time, attention to details, and outrageous comments—which keep me in stitches—drive me to be the best writer I can be. And to all the folks at Crimson Romance, from our esteemed leader, Tara Gelsomino, executive editor, to the very creative, brilliant art department to the production team, I can’t thank you enough for giving me my dream.
Great critique partners are a godsend to a writer, and I’m so blessed to have several in my corner. Mary, you have been there from the beginning, every chapter, almost every page. I couldn’t do this without you. To Mary Lou, my beta reader, thank you for finding all the little pickles I have missed. To Kira, you were there when I needed help plotting out the next scene or just to be a sounding board. I can’t thank you enough for your encouraging words and insight into my characters and motivation. To Anna, Janet, Marianne, Katrina, and Leslye, you have given me such wonderful critiques. I’m so honored to be part of such a wonderful critique group. Thank you!
I have to give a shout out to my amazing technical team. To Martin, thank you for helping me understand drone technology and GPS spoofing. You help make the techno jargon clear in my head. To Adam, I can’t thank you enough for answering my endless questions about all things F.B.I. If there are mistakes, it’s all on me. I may have twisted things a little to make it work in the story. To Vickie, thank you first for not hanging up on me. When a strange woman from Maryland calls asking about information on the Texas State Capitol building, you took the time on a late Friday afternoon to answer my many questions. You are a true example of a warm and friendly Texan.
Chapter One
October 2012, Austin, Texas
Just when she thought the day couldn’t get any worse, fate stepped in and placed the jerk in her line of sight.
Special Agent-in-Charge Mac McNeil.
He stood several yards from her, his piercing, hazel eyes locked onto hers. Lexie Trevena stared at the ground, cutting off their connection.
A warm gust of air blew across the cemetery, surrounding her with a hint of freshly mowed grass and the roses from Rico’s coffin. The two scents had always brought a smile to her face, but from this day forward, they would yank her back to this place, this moment.
Taking a shaky breath, Lexie peered into the freshly dug grave inches from her. The crowd behind her began to shift, making their way back up the hill toward the line of cars. Her best friends, Cole Guzman and Marcus Aziz, stood behind her. Cole cleared his throat and eased next to her, taking her hand in his.
“You don’t have to stay. I—”
“The café can survive a little longer without us,” he interrupted.
“You can’t be closed during your busiest time of day. Go. Seriously, I’ll be fine.” Finally glancing over Cole’s shoulder at the sea of mourners, she planted a fake smile on her face. “I’m just waiting until some of the people leave.”
“We’ll take off if you promise to drop by and eat something,” Marcus chimed in.
“Maybe you can just bring me a sandwich at home. I need to be alone for a while. You understand?”
She reached up and kissed Cole on the cheek and repeated the gesture with Marcus. The men’s expressions were so easy to read, and their concern touched her heart. They wanted to make this all better. That was impossible.
“If you change your mind, or if you need one of us, just call, Lexie.” Cole tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear then reached for her hand.
“I’ll be fine. Go before you make me cry.”
They studied her for several moments. Then, with one more quick hug, they strolled up the hill.
Two groundskeepers stood off to her left waiting patiently to lower the coffin into the ground. The thought of Rico’s strong, hard body buried under six feet of Texas clay was hard to digest. As long as she stood rooted to that spot, her nightmare couldn’t turn into her reality.
Mac McNeil slowly worked his way through the crowd of mourners toward her. Instinctively, she twisted away from him. Escape. Before she could make a move, a man whose name she couldn’t recall blocked her path, placing a hand on her arm.
“Mrs. Trevena …”
“Lexie. My name is Lexie.”
“Lexie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your husband was a good man, a fine agent. He’ll be missed.”
He seemed to want some sort of acknowledgement from her, but she had nothing to give. He finally dropped his hand to his side and left her alone.
He was a good man, a fine agent. He’ll be missed.
Meaningless babble, meant to give her a measure of comfort. How was her broken heart supposed to be consoled by a group of strangers? Most of the crowd was there out of respect and had never even met Rico.
Lexie had no idea how to behave, or what to do or say to the people around her. She couldn’t focus long enough to reason it out. Grief festered into a pool of staggering anger, sending her emotions into a tailspin. It was all so senseless.
