Rock Addiction (Rock Kiss Book 1), page 15
“I believe you.” Her long, dark lashes lowered, rose again, her pupils deep ebony. “If I didn’t, I would’ve said no. I was just…” Right when he thought she’d finally admit that there was no way in hell this had ever been, or could ever be, a temporary affair, she said, “I’m sorry I overreacted.”
“Don’t be sorry you let me see you.” Fighting with Molly wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, but he’d damn well take her anger over icy distance. “Don’t you ever apologize for that.”
Molly broke the eye contact once more, her throat moving as she swallowed. “We should shower. We’re both sweaty from today. You need to…” Cheeks flushing, she shifted her hips in a silent reminder that he remained buried in her.
He could sense her pulling away emotionally in spite of their sexual entanglement, shaken by the visceral power of the minutes past. “I’m not done with you yet.” Possessive fury continuing to thunder through him, Fox opened his mouth over hers, slid his tongue between her lips, and began to use his intimate knowledge of her body to seduce her.
If sex was all she’d give him, then he’d damn well use it to tie her to him until she could never again think of walking away. Fingers clenching on the rucked-up sheets, Molly moaned in the back of her throat as he flexed his hips in a lazy movement. “Not nearly done.”
Wrapping herself tightly in the robe again after they finally had that shower, Molly ordered room service for them both from the twenty-four-hour hotel kitchen. She was still wrecked from the smoldering heat of their second time together that night. Fox had wanted to make a point, and he’d made it with a relentless concentration that had left her shuddering in ecstasy, his body her only anchor.
He hadn’t liked being locked out, being distrusted. But even in his anger, he hadn’t hurt her. What he’d done was worse—he’d taken her, branded her, driven himself into every cell of her body. She couldn’t survive a month of this, of becoming further and further intertwined with a man who could never be hers. The thought of ending up an empty, broken shell like her mother was a nightmare… but even worse was the thought of losing Fox, of never again inhaling his scent, hearing his voice, feeling his touch.
“Room service.”
Jumping at the knock on the door, she glanced at Fox where he lay on her bed.
Jaw clenched, he went into his room and closed the door while the waiter dropped off the food. His dark expression had grown heavier by the time he walked back in, his jeans low on his hips and his upper half bare. She didn’t have to be a mind reader to know he was angry about the continued secrecy of their relationship, but he kept his silence as the two of them ate the food while sprawled in bed.
Molly picked at a plate of fruit, then set it aside on the bedside table, not really in the mood to eat. “How did that woman get past security?” she asked, knowing she was revealing too much of what she felt for him but unable to stop herself.
“How groupies always get past security.” Fox shrugged and continued to eat his burger, but his voice held an edge that said his temper was still simmering. “Don’t waste any more time on her. She’s nothing.”
Molly winced, wondering if that was how he’d think of her once their month was past. Then she wanted to slap herself. “I’m really not cut out to be a rock star’s g—” She caught herself before she said “girlfriend,” the word a knot of painful emotion in her throat. “Lover.”
“Since I can still feel you hot and wet around my cock, I disagree.” With that forthright statement, Fox finished off his burger, then picked up the beer he’d had her order and half-emptied the bottle before suddenly frowning. “You mind if I drink?” he asked, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I never asked.”
The tenderness shattered her. He remained angry, that much was clear, but still he thought about her. Cuddling close, she laid her head against his shoulder and felt the tension in her spine ease when he wrapped his arm around her without hesitation, his fingers closing over her nape.
“No,” she said in response to his question. “It’s my choice, doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else.” The golden silk of his skin an invitation to her senses, she stroked his side, petted his chest. It felt so right to just be with him. “Each time I turn down a drink, I remember why I made this choice and who I am. Does that make sense?”
Fox brushed his lips over the top of her hair. “Perfect sense. Was your mom a drinker or was she just drunk the day she got behind the wheel?” he asked, and she knew then that he’d read through articles not only about her father’s fall from grace but also about what followed.
Molly could remember every detail of that fateful hour when she’d lost what little remained of her world: the fine yellow paper of the note calling her to the school counselor’s office, the echoes created by the soles of her school shoes in the otherwise empty corridors, the Wet Floor sign where the custodian had wiped it clean of a spill, the kind face and sad eyes of the veteran cop who’d told her both her parents were dead. It was as defining a moment in her life as the day she’d watched televised images of her father being arrested.
“My mom was a high-functioning alcoholic for most of the last eight years of her life… then she was just an alcoholic,” she said through the agony of memory. “But,” she added, eyes gritty and throat dry, “from the things I picked up over the years, I know she began drinking years before, when she learned of my father’s first affair.”
Fox lifted his hand from her nape to run his fingers lightly over the side of her face. “Bastard has a lot to answer for.”
About to respond that her mother held half the responsibility for choosing to stay with Patrick Buchanan despite knowing what he was, Molly’s heart suddenly hiccupped, a wave of ice crawling over her skin. What was she doing speaking to Fox about things that made her feel as if she were that beaten, broken girl again? She knew how dangerous this was, how far she’d already fallen, how bad it was going to hurt when it ended.
She’d bleed the day Fox walked out of her life.
“The concert,” she said in a stumbling rush of words, “it was amazing. I’ve never experienced anything like that.”
It was about as subtle an effort to change the subject as a sledgehammer, but Fox let her retreat, maybe because he, too, didn’t want to go that deep. “Yeah? It’s a rush, isn’t it? I love performing, especially when the crowd is that pumped.”
Heart rate smoothing out as the ice eased its grip, she traced her fingertips over the ridges of his abdomen. “That teenager you let onto the stage to jam with you—he was so excited, I think he’s probably not going to sleep for a month.”
“Me, Noah, Abe, and David, we were all that kid once.” Bracing one arm on a raised knee, he said, “You really had a good time?”
Surprised at the note of hesitation, she pushed up so she could look into those gorgeous eyes, his lashes lush and thick. “Yes! It was my first rock concert and I think I’m addicted.” Fox’s slow grin was the reward for her honesty. “The energy, the primal power of it, and most of all the music… my God, Fox, you four make the most incredible music.” It pulsed in her veins even now, compelling and haunting.
“In the end,” Fox said, “it’s about the music. That’s why we’ve stuck together—the money, the fame, it’s peripheral. All the four of us ever wanted to do was make music.”
Filching one of his fries when he put the little basket on his lap, she crunched it. “I was talking to Maxwell and he said you guys stuck through everything.”
Fox nodded. “We’ve had a couple of really bad patches. Right back at the start, when we were young and stupid and didn’t know how to handle the pressure, and a year ago, when Abe’s divorce had him trying to drug himself into an early grave.” He fed her another fry despite her scowl. “Your mad face is cute.”
“You could get murdered for saying stuff like that,” she muttered, charmed regardless.
His dimple flashed at her, and she was expecting the way he drew her down for a lazy kiss. Her palm flat on his chest, she sank into the pleasure, her earlier fear tangled with a poignant tenderness that urged her to continue being brave, continue hoarding the memories. Because now that she was thinking rationally again, she knew she wasn’t her mother, would never be her mother—as tonight’s fight had shown.
Karen Webster had never screamed at her husband. No, she’d been the perfectly coiffed and poised political wife, drowning her pain in alcohol.
If Fox actually had slept with that groupie, Molly would’ve slammed the door in his face. She had enough respect for herself to never allow any man, even one who was her personal addiction, to treat her in such a way. It would’ve brutalized her, but she would’ve eventually picked up the broken pieces of herself. What she would’ve never done was crawl into a bottle, just as now she wouldn’t scurry back into the claustrophobic box in which she’d existed for so long.
Molly was going to live.
Even if it smashed her heart to splinters.
Chapter 19
They ended up sleeping in till noon, which wasn’t surprising given the late night. Molly woke to find herself tucked into Fox’s body, her breasts pressed to his chest. One muscular, tattooed arm was locked around her waist while the other lay under her neck, his thigh—heavy with muscle and dusted with hair that rasped deliciously against her skin—thrust between her own. Yawning, she snuggled deeper and just wallowed in the feeling of warm safety, the emotional storm of the previous night having left her raw.
Fox had told her they had the whole day free to do whatever they liked, and what she liked was cuddling in bed with her rock star. At least until he woke up. Feeling him stir almost ten minutes later, she pressed a kiss to his shoulder. “Hey.”
“Mmm.” It was a deep, sleepy sound before he tugged her impossibly closer to his body.
With both of them naked, the sensation was sensual, but right then, it was also just good. He felt strong and solid and protective around her, as if he was cherishing her. Though he was clearly aroused, it was the lazy arousal of morning, and he seemed far more interested in cuddling her to his body than in sex.
It made her melt, the idea that her hardcore rocker might not be against cuddling on a weekend morning in bed. Rubbing her nose lightly over his skin, she pressed another kiss to his chest, licking out with her tongue to taste him.
That initiated a sleepy rumble. Deciding to behave, she stayed snuggled up against him in silence, her bones lax and her sense of well-being incredible. No one had ever held her like this, ever made her feel so protected and anchored.
It was more than fifteen minutes later that he stirred again, his jaw moving as if in a yawn. Smoothing his hand in a slow circle on her back, he nuzzled his chin in her hair. “I like waking up with a soft, sexy librarian.”
His sleep-roughened voice made her nerve endings vibrate. “I like waking up with you, too.” Nuzzling him after the honest confession, she said, “What do you want to do today?”
“See some koala bears.”
Molly laughed, thinking he was joking.
“No, I mean it.” He tapped her playfully on her butt. “I’ve been to Australia so many times, but I’ve never seen a koala. It’s fucking embarrassing.”
Giggles bubbling in her blood, Molly wriggled out of his hold to get her phone from the bedside table. Propping herself against the headboard after tugging up the sheet to cover her breasts, a pillow at her back and Fox sprawled on his front by her side, she searched for places to see koalas. “There’s a wildlife park about a forty-five-minute drive away,” she said, skimming down the search results to tap on what looked like the best option. “It’s open today and their website says you can get close to the animals.”
Fox squeezed her thigh. “Come ’ere first.”
Her body one big languid sigh, Molly leveled a mock scowl in his direction. “The park’s only open until five, and it’s already”—a quick glance at the clock—“almost a quarter till one. If I slide back into bed, we won’t have much time there.”
Fox wanted to tug her down, kiss that adorable scowl into his mouth, but she was right. If he had her under him, they wouldn’t be leaving this room anytime soon, and he wanted a date with his Molly. “I’ll take a rain check.” Shoving off the sheet, he got out of bed. “Half an hour.”
Twenty-five minutes and rapid fire showers later, the two of them having eaten a quick room-service breakfast despite the fact it was technically lunchtime, Fox pulled on jeans and a plain white T-shirt, then sat down on Molly’s bed to finish lacing up his sneakers. In front of him, Molly was bent over, looking for something in her suitcase. He grinned. She had an incomprehensible woman thing about her ass, but he liked the view fine. Way better than fine.
Before he could give in to the urge to walk over and stroke the sweet curve of it, his phone rang. It was Noah, asking if he wanted to check out a music shop the guitarist had heard about.
“No, man,” Fox said with a wink at Molly, “I’m going to go get my photo taken with a koala bear.”
Lips twitching, Molly sat down beside him to do up her own sneakers. Wearing a casual but fitted pink shirt with fine white stripes and elbow-length sleeves teamed with jeans, the top three buttons of the shirt undone to reveal the white tank she wore underneath, she looked pretty and young and bitable. Her hair was in a ponytail, the tail fed through the back of one of his baseball caps, her creamy skin vulnerable to even the fall sun.
“Seriously?” Noah said into the phone. “I’ve never seen one either. Can I come?”
Fox thought about it. This was meant to be a date… but Noah rarely sounded excited about something as innocent as this, the world he lived in a dark place that often threatened to suck him under. Abe might appear the most dysfunctional of the four of them, but Noah was far more seriously fucked up. “Yeah,” he said, “but you have to be ready in ten. Underground garage, level two.”
Hanging up, he tugged on Molly’s ponytail, delighted with her. “Noah’s coming. He’s never seen a real koala either.”
“Ah, the debauched rock star life.” Molly leaned in to kiss his dimple, and yeah, he grinned, loving the little things she did that told him what they had, it was special, was way more than sex.
“That was nice of Justin,” she said afterward, “to take out a hire car in his name for you.”
Fox snorted and pulled on his own cap, having asked the lawyer to do the favor yesterday, then drop off the keys. “Nice, my ass.” Rising, they headed to the door. “I bribed him with the promise of a bottle of single-malt whiskey.”
Once outside in the hallway, Fox waited for Molly to pull the door shut before taking her hand in his. Her eyes were startled when she looked up, but then her fingers curved shyly around his and it slammed all the air from his lungs. If he had his way, he’d walk through the hotel lobby with her hand in his so no one would make any mistake about who she was to him—but Molly wasn’t in any way ready for the glare of the limelight.
So he satisfied himself with holding her hand until they stepped out of the elevator and headed to the black SUV Justin had hired. Unlocking it, he nodded for Molly to get into the front passenger seat. She shook her head. “Noah’s much taller than I am. He’ll have more legroom in front.”
“Push your seat forward.” Fox looked at the space behind her once she did. “He’ll be fine. Bastard’s the one horning in on our date,” he said with a grin as Noah exited the elevator… with Abe and David behind him.
“Well, fuck.” Fox groaned. “Damn it to hell, guys! How are we supposed to be anonymous if we go en masse?” Two of them could’ve skated under the radar if they were careful, but no way would that work with all four members of the band together.
“Hey, you don’t own the koala bears.” Abe folded his arms over a dark gray shirt with short sleeves, muscles bulging under the rich mahogany of his skin. His head was bare, his hair cut close to his skull and an intricate pattern razored in on one side—that pattern was dyed a vivid purple with jagged slashes of white and orange.
“You’re about as inconspicuous as David’s goddamn T-shirt.” Fox scowled at his other bandmate’s screaming tee. “Jesus. It looks like someone threw up a rainbow on you. You’ll scare the koala bears away before we get near them.”
David gave him the finger. “It was for charity.” A wink at Molly from his uninjured eye, the other one ringed by a deep blue-black bruise. “Also, koalas aren’t bears, you genius, they’re marsupials.”
“Shut your trap, Rainbow Boy.” Fox pointed a finger at Noah. “Explain.”
Shoulders rising under the black of his sleeveless sweatshirt, the hood flipped up to conceal his hair, Noah spread his hands. “What was I going to do? They saw me sneaking out.”
Fox thought of these men as his brothers, but they’d just ruined his one chance to be with Molly like a normal guy on a date with his girl. Before he could snarl at them, Molly stepped forward. “I have an idea,” she said with the smile that had hit him like a roundhouse punch that first night and showed no sign of decreasing in potency. “I’ll be your assistant.” She hefted the little multi-zip travel bag she’d slung across her body. “I’ll buy all the drinks, tickets, etcetera, and everyone will see what they expect to see.”
“She’s smart,” Abe said to Fox. “You should try not to fuck it up with her.”
Fox narrowed his eyes. “Just for that, you get to sit in the back. All three of you. Molly gets the front passenger seat.”
Much whining and complaining later, the three men somehow folded themselves into the back of the SUV. Then it began. The one-liners, the zingers back and forth, the insults, the jokes. Molly laughed until she protested that her stomach hurt, and Fox had to forgive the others then, didn’t he?
“Christ,” Abe groaned when Fox brought the car to a stop at the wildlife park. “I think my joints are permanently frozen in place.” Stepping out, he began to stretch his heavily muscled body.
